A Change of Heart
by pottergirl4ever
Summary: This story follows the relationship of Remus and Tonks starting right from Tonks's first meeting with the Order. We know she joins. We know they get married sorry if you didn't . What we don't know is what happened in between; until now.
1. Chapter 1

Well, hello

Well, hello! This is my second story and I'm really excited. :

This story is about Remus and Tonks, my favorite Harry Potter couple. I can pretty much guarantee that this will not be the only Tonks and Remus story I will write; I just adore them so much. My other story,** Midnight Conversations**, is about them as well, but they aren't present in the story itself. You should check it out! Well, enough of my rambling. I'll get on with the story.

Disclaimer: I don't Harry Potter. If I did a lot of people would not have died. (Yes, I'm still ranting about it 10 months later.)

**Chapter One- An Unexpected Invitation**

It was a rather sunny afternoon on a day in early June. However, buried in their paperwork, no one at the ministry took notice to the beauty of the day; no one except Nymphadora Tonks. She sat behind her tiny wooden desk barely visible behind the humongous stack of paperwork in front of her; the stack she was supposed to be filling out. Nymphadora was not like the other ministry employees; she couldn't stand to be cooped up behind a desk all day, she needed action, adventure. After all, that is why she chose to be an auror. She wanted to stop evil wizards and save the world, filling out paper work day after day was not what she signed up for. She always knew that there would be dull days with paperwork, but Merlin not every single bloody day; it was becoming rather tiresome.

Nymphadora sighed as she swished around in her swivel chair. Her eyes went from the window, to her desk, and back to her window again. She turned to face herself to her desk; she really had to get started on that paperwork. Quill in hand she began to write, but she stopped herself when he eyes began to graze the wall of her desk. Several pictures and magazine clippings were tacked to it. She smiled as she looked at one of her and her mentor Alastor "mad-eye" Moody." Her mum, Andromeda had taken the picture; Nymphadora's hair was bright pink and shoulder length; that was the day she completed her auror training. Oh, she remembered that day. The sun was shining and she was on top of the world. She couldn't wait to begin her career as an auror; battling evil wizards and saving the Wizarding world. She was so naïve back then; she didn't realize what the ministry was like, what it would become.

Her eyes glanced to another photograph of her and one of her good friends Charlie Weasley. Charlie's mum, Molly had taken that picture at Platform 93/4 the day they had returned from Hogwarts at the end of their seventh year. The next thing that caught Tonks's eye was a newspaper clipping about her favorite Quidditch team, then another picture of her favorite singing group the Weird Sisters. Her mind once again started to float away.

Nymphadora was in no way shape or form normal. For one thing she was a Metamorphmagus; she could change her appearance at will. Another thing was that she hated her name, Nymphadora. She preferred to be called by her sir name Tonks. She was intelligent and reserved, but care free and outspoken. She was also horribly clumsy. Not a day went by that she didn't trip over something, stumble, or fall flat on her face. Her mind continued to float off, exploring whatever memories that popped into head.

"Nymphadora!" A stern voice spoke from the other side of her desk ", Nymphadora!" Tonks quickly jerked her head up.

"Err, sorry, yes hello," she fumbled with her words. "Oh hello Moody!" She exclaimed cheerfully. "I haven't seen you in such a long time!" She quickly jumped up from her desk (nearly knocking over the entire stack of papers) and darted over to the other side of her desk giving Moody a quick hug. "What brings you here? Oh I've missed you!" She gave him another hug; this time not letting go.

"Enough of this nonsense, Nymphadora. Let go of me." She obeyed her formal mentor. "I have some things that I want to speak to you about and I came to see if you would be interested in going to lunch with me."

"A bit late for lunch, don't you think?" Nymphadora questioned him. "It's nearly four."

"Enough Nymphadora. I need to speak with you about something of vital importance. Something I think you'd be very interested in hearing, but if you'd prefer no to, then I can go. I have other important matters that I can attend to." His voice was stern, the way it used to be when he'd scold Tonks for doing something stupid during training; she didn't like it.

"No, no. I'll come. My shift ends in two hours, but all I have is paperwork, so I can leave for a while."

Tonks and Moody made their way through the mazes of the ministry until they found the employee exit.

"So Moody, what do you need to talk to me about?"

"Not now." The two left by the exit and found themselves standing out on the street. Moody began walking and Tonks, like always followed at his heels. Catching up, and walking beside him Tonks questioned him again ", so Moody what is it that you want to talk to me about?"

"Not now Nymphadora. Wait."

"Where are we going anyway? Because if we're going to eat I know someplace just around the corner that has really good grilled cheese sandwiches."

"No, we're going to stop here."

"This is a coffee shop; I don't like coffee. Neither do you."

"It doesn't matter." Moody stepped inside the small coffee shop. It was dimly lit with small round tables with stools placed all around, and two maroon couches on the opposite walls. Moody walked over to the nearest table and lifted himself onto the stool. Tonks followed suit. When the waitress came over Tonks and Moody ordered two hot chocolates, a little peculiar for the beginning of June, but neither of the two liked coffee, and they had to order something.

Once the waitress had moved away Moody slipped his wand out of his coat and muttered "Muffliato!" Tonks knew that whatever he had to speak with her about must be important because he obviously didn't want anyone to hear them.

"Nymphadora, I brought you here to talk to you about something very important, but first I need to ask you something. What I'm about to tell you is secret and if you do not consent then I need your permission to modify your memory."

"Wait, why would need to modify my memory? Why is it secret?"

"Nymphadora, I cannot tell you anything unless you consent to the memory modifier."

"Fine, fine, I consent now tell me what this is all about." He bent his head forward, and looked Tonks square in the eye."

"Have you ever heard of something called the Order of the Phoenix?"

"Err, no. I've heard of a phoenix; I know that's a bird. Dumbledore has one, but I've never heard of the Order of the Phoenix. Why?"

"The Order of the Phoenix is a secret organization led by Albus Dumbledore. They have one goal and one goal only, and that is to destroy the Dark Lord." Tonks was stunned; a secret organization to stop the Dark Lord; something that nobody knew about, and Moody was telling her? "Dumbledore set it up the last time the Dark Lord rose to power, and now he has reorganized it."

"So, you-know-who is really back?"

"Of course he's really back Tonks, don't be so naïve. Didn't you hear about Diggory's son's death?"

"Of course I did. It was all over the prophet and the office. But there were so many stories circulating; I didn't know what to believe. I mean I didn't think Potter would lie about such a thing, but Fudge is so determined that it is all a lie."

"Fudge is in denial. Now we're running out of time, so listen." Tonks nodded her head. "The old Order had a lot of very gifted members, but now…."

"Anyone I know."

"Quite a few; Potter's parents, James and Lily, and Frank and Alice Longbottom. Anyway, the Order had a lot of gifted members, but most of them were killed. Dumbledore is in search for new members."

"Are you a member?

"Of course I'm a member! I wouldn't know any of this if I wasn't. Now, Dumbledore is searching for new members and he asked me if I had anyone in mind; anyone that I believed would be able to make a good addition to the Order. Well, I told him that I believed you would make an excellent addition to the Order."

"Really, you did?" Tonks was astounded! "Well, what did he say? What did Dumbledore stay?"

"He said that he had a feeling I would suggest you, that he would have, in fact suggested you himself if I had not."

"Really?"

"Yes, Nymphadora really."

"Not that I'm not honored, but why me?"

"Well, besides that fact of your obvious advantages," Moody stared at Tonks's hair ", I know that you are a very gifted witch."

"Oh, Moody I'm honored, and I accept."

"Don't accept anything yet. You cannot be accepted until all the members of the Order decide together. Our next meeting is tomorrow evening sharply at seven pm. Can you make it?"

"Yeah, I think so. I get off at seven so I'll make it over there in just a few minutes."

"No, Nymphadora. The meeting starts at seven sharp. You must be there before seven."

"Well, I suppose I could leave early. All I have is ruddy paperwork so it shouldn't be a problem."

"Well, then it's settled. I will meet you tomorrow at quarter to seven outside of the employee entrance."

"That's fine."

"You must not be late! I have to attend the meeting so I will leave without you. You must not be late."

"I understand."

The two got up from their seats, Moody left the money on the table and they proceeded out of the small coffee shop.

"Ok, Nymphadora, tomorrow at seven." He nodded and walked off down the street. Midway he looked both ways; no sign of anyone (besides Tonks) and he apparated into this air. Tonks sighed. Tomorrow she would get a chance to become a member of the Order of the Phoenix.

Ok, well that was it. I know that it was kind of boring, but you know it was just the introduction sort of chapter.

Please review! It would be very much appreciated. :

Thanks for reading! Look out for chapter two!


	2. Chapter 2 The Order

Well hello there again! I'm glad to see you're back! This is the second Chapter of A Change of Heart. I'm really jazzed (that's my word).

So, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, and on the off chance that you didn't read it, I think you should. I know it was a little boring, but it had to set the story. It'll get better. Well, I'm rambling again, so I'm going to go ahead and stop.

Disclaimer: I don't own it; I think that's pretty much established, but just in case.

All of my detailed info comes from . Special thanks to my sister who introduced me to the site. :

P.S. I know I told a reviewer I was going to probably have this out on Thursday evening, and I am really sorry that it has taken so long. I finished writing it last night at four a.m. and didn't have it in me to go through with posting and such. It's here now though so it's all good. Please remember to review. :

**Chapter Two The Order**

--

Tonks was absolutely beside herself; she couldn't take the waiting anymore. She was so excited, yet so nervous at the same time. It had only been two hours since Moody had told her about the Order and she was already filled to the rim with excitement. She basically had an entire day left before she would attend her first meeting, but already her stomach was filled with butterflies at the thought of meeting the Order for the first time. She knew that she had to get her work done. Scrimgeour had already given her a hard time for leaving. She was only gone for an hour and a half and all she had to do was paperwork. But when she told him this, he simply asked if it was "just paperwork" then why wasn't it finished yet. She had to have half of it done by the next morning.

Once she got into her pajamas Tonks settled herself on her sofa with a cup of hot tea, a quill, and her gigantic stack of paper work. She flipped on the radio, dipped her quill in ink and began what she knew would be hours of frivolous work. However, her hours of frivolous work were cut short when the Weird Sisters came on. Apparently, the station was playing ALL of their new songs. Tonks attempted to fill out the paperwork while listening, but decided it just wasn't going to work after she wrote Barbary Heathcote, the rhythm guitarist, in one of the blank spaces on the paper. So she decided that she'd put her work aside for awhile, and she would sit back and enjoy the sounds of the Weird Sisters.

Almost an hour had passed. The Weird Sisters's songs had ended a while before, but afterward the host of the station interviewed a witch who had written a book about several methods of natural herb usage. It wasn't really all that interesting, but Tonks pretended it was for forty-five minutes. When the interview ended Tonks had no choice but to do the rest of her paperwork.

Three hours had gone by and it was extremely late, but Tonks knew that she couldn't go to sleep; she would never have enough time in the morning and Scrimgeour would kill her if she didn't have it done. So she worked tediously or as tediously as possible for her, and finally she had the half that she promised.

It was nearly midnight. Tonks dumped her cup of tea in the sink, washed it, and placed it back in cupboard. She could have easily used magic to clean it, but Tonks's father, Ted, was a muggle born, so before he knew he was a wizard he did things the muggle way. Certain things had just stuck with him, and therefore stuck with Tonks.

Tonks lowered herself into bed. She hated the way the sheets were cold. Even though it was the beginning of June she was still cold under those thin sheets. She lay awake for hours; she just didn't have it in her to fall asleep. She certainly was tired, but she was just so excited for the meeting the next day.

As the hours dwindled by Tonks wondered if maybe she should call in sick the next day; she knew she would definitely not get enough sleep to function, but she knew that if she didn't come in Scrimgeour would kill her. Finally, after what seemed a time of endless hours Tonks's eyes finally drifted shut, and her mind drifted away.

The next morning Tonks awoke to her alarm clock screeching at her. "It's never gotten this loud," she thought to herself. She had a tendency to not wake up when the alarm rang, so she charmed the clock so it would ring louder and louder each time. It was practically blaring!

"Merlin!" She shouted. "What time is it? Oh no!" She looked at her clock in awe. "No way! How could I not have heard it?" It was eight o'clock. Tonks's shift began at eight fifteen. She had fifteen minutes to shower, get dressed, and get the office. Tonks knew it wasn't going to happen, but she was going to try anyway.

She darted into the shower and was done in ten minutes. She could have gone faster but her hair kept changing colors and lengths because she was so frazzled. She quickly dried her hair and dashed back into her bedroom. She hadn't picked out anything to wear. Normally she just threw on whatever; she had robes to put over top of whatever she chose to wear anyway so it didn't matter. She knew she should have gotten something to eat, but she was just too nervous, and too late to even entertain the idea of eating something. She threw on her pair of ripped jeans and Weird Sisters tee-shirt and was out the door.

She arrived at the ministry almost thirty minutes late. She rushed into the auror office and darted to her desk; hoping, praying that Scrimgeour hadn't noticed her absence.

"Nymphadora," a stern voice called. Tonks sighed deeply ", just great."

"Where have you been this morning?"

"I'm only thirty minutes late."

"Well, what's the difference between thirty minutes and three hours?"

"Err, two and half hours."

"Nothing's the difference; late is late."

"If you must know I wasn't feeling well this morning."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"Well, then why did you bother coming in?"

"Well, because I am dedicated to my job and I didn't want to miss; which reminds me, here's the paperwork you wanted," she shoved the jumble of papers into his hands.

"Well, thank you Nymphadora."

"It's Tonks Sir."

"Of course," he began to walk away ", and put your robes on Nymphadora." She cringed.

The day went by slower then any other day Tonks had ever experienced. The clock seemed to mock her; she was sure the minutes were going by three minutes too slow. She wasn't able to keep her mind focused all day, and she still had many hours to go. Plus, she had to figure out a plan to leave early. She needed to be out on the street at quarter to seven which meant she would have to leave the ministry by six thirty. But knowing her luck she knew it was better to leave earlier on the off chance that someone stopped her along the way. She was glad that she had been smart enough to tell Scrimgeour that she didn't feel well in the morning.

It was ten after six and Tonks's heart was pounding in her chest. She had her plan. In a few minutes she would get up from her desk with her things and tell Scrimgeour that she felt awful. Then she'd leave and meet Moody. It was simple, but Tonks, being an auror, knew that she needed to be extra crafty with this. She smiled to herself; sometimes she didn't understand how she could be so stupid. She opened the top right draw on her desk and pulled out a small compact mirror. She stared at herself in it and right before her eyes her face turned three shades lighter. Her eyes became red around the edges. She gave herself a once over and placed the mirror back in the drawer. It was seven twelve; time to go.

She pulled off her ministry robes and draped them over her swivel chair, gathered up her paperwork and bag, and preceded to Scrimgeour's office.

"Err Hello," she asked sickly and timidly as she entered the office.

"Hello Nymphadora what can I help you with?"

"I am not feeling well at all, I'm going to go home. I'm taking the paperwork home, so don't worry I'll get it done."

"That's fine Nymphadora, go on. I hope you feel better in the morning."

"Thanks sir." Tonks smiled to herself as she left the auror department.

Five minutes later Tonks met up with Moody outside.

"Played sick I presume?" Moody asked, staring at Tonks's face. All she did was smile back at him. Most people would have made a fuss over it or at least asked her if she was ok, but not Moody. He knew her all too well. All he did was shake his head and begin to walk; Tonks, as usual, followed at his heels.

Tonks's continued to follow Moody until they reached a place called Grimmauld Place.

"Here Nymphadora, read this piece of parchment." Tonks took the crumpled piece of parchment from Moody's hand and stared at it. It read, "Number 12 Grimmauld Place."

"Moody, this says number 12; there is no number twelve." She spoke too soon.

Before her very eyes the houses began to separate. She could see families in side the windows of the moving homes, but they didn't seem to notice at all; they didn't even flinch. Even though she was a witch and she knew this was all perfectly possible, Tonks was still utterly amazed.

"Come along now Nymphadora," Moody called to her as he began to walk, well limp up to the front door of what was now number 12.

Once they reached the door Moody turned to Tonks.

"Merlin, Nymphadora, you couldn't have chosen to wear anything else? You want to make a good first impression."

"I'm sorry," Tonks gushed. "I was late going to bed last night, and late getting work this morning, normally I just throw on whatever because I have robes to wear at the office, I wasn't even thinking. I can go back to my flat. It'll only take me a few minutes. I can apparate!

"No, Nymphadora. We don't have time for that it's five of the hour. Now, don't speak unless you are spoken too," he began to unlock the door ", don't lose focus," he grabbed the handle and began to push it open. "And for God's sakes, don't trip!" He stepped inside.

Tonks followed him and found herself standing in a narrow hallway.

"Shut the door!" Moody barked. Tonks pushed the solid wooden door closed and turned back around to face moody; she could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

"Follow me." Tonks gazed at the old dark walls as she followed Moody down the hall.

Inside the kitchen Molly Weasley was busy making hot tea for the members of the Order as they awaited the arrival of Moody and his protégé. Arthur said he heard the door open, and Molly thought she had as well, but she was busy stirring tea and the other members were chatting amongst themselves. Suddenly a loud crash was heard.

"Oh goodness!" Molly shouted spilling tea all over herself. The Order members were all alerted. "Clank! Bang!"

"I believe that our new member has arrived," Dumbledore said.

"FILTHY MUDBLOODS IN MY HOUSE!" The picture in the hallway began to screech.

"Oh bloody hell," Tonks mumbled to herself as she was lying on the floor. She didn't know what had happened. One minute she was standing up straight following Moody, and the next she hit her foot on something and fell over. Then something started screeching horribly!

"FILTHY MUDBLOODS IN MY HOUSE!" Tonks was lost for words as she raised herself from the ground; grasping Moody's hand. Two men, one with flaming red hair and the other with fading brown, rushed out of the kitchen to the picture that was screeching. Together, each grabbing an end of the curtain that had ripped open yanked it back shut. Both of them retreated back into the kitchen.

"For God's sakes Nymphadora, can you go a day without tripping?"

"No, I can't, I try but I just can't, I'm really sorry. I just didn't see the, what did I trip over anyway?"

"An umbrella stand." Tonks bent down to pick up the umbrellas that she had knocked over and realized that the stand she had knocked over was a troll leg.

"Who uses a troll leg as an umbrella stand?"

"Hush Nymphadora."

"No, really, no wonder I tripped over it. It's ruddy huge and this hallway's so small."

"Silence! The members of the order are all in the kitchen waiting for you. The meeting is starting in a few minutes. You've already made a fool of yourself so try not to anymore." Tonks nodded.

"Come along then."

Tonks followed Moody into the kitchen where the members of the Order were all sitting around a long wooden table. She had never been so petrified in her life. All the sudden she was enveloped in a pair of motherly arms.

"Oh Nymphadora! The woman gushed! "Oh it's been so long since I've seen you!"

"Mrs. Weasley, it's so good to see you again!"

"Oh goodness Nymphadora, it's been so long! What has it been four years?"

"Yes about."

"Ok, Molly," Mr. Weasley said "let her breathe Dear."

"Oh of course," she chuckled to herself as she warmly smiled at Tonks. "Would you care for a spot of tea Deary?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Good evening Nymphadora," Albus Dumbledore said.

"Good evening professor."

"How are you this evening?"

"I'm doing well, and yourself?"

"Alas, Nymphadora I am doing as well as one can do in these times."

"Well, that is good to hear. Err, and sir,"

"Yes."

"It's Tonks."

"Of course, Tonks." He smiled at her and moved back toward the table.

"Here you are Deary," Mrs. Weasley came over hold a cup and saucer ", the meetings about to begin. You can take a seat over there." Mrs. Weasley ushered her over to the table and pointed to an empty chair at the opposite end. Dumbledore was speaking to the man that had closed the curtain on the picture. He was a thin man with fading brown hair; Tonks had never seen him before.

As Tonks sipped her tea she allowed her eyes to survey the room. There was a man with a violet top hat sitting next to another man with silver hair, like Dumbledore's. Across the table another man with straw colored hair was in deep conversation with a black haired woman. There was another man, who Tonks recognized as Kinsley Shaklebolt, sitting next to a woman who was staring down at her tea. She recognized the next witch as Minerva McGonagall. There were some others, but Tonks didn't have a chance to look at them because Dumbledore called order to room. Tonks quickly found her seat at the end of the table.

"Welcome all. I hope that everyone is doing well. Tonight, we welcome a possible new member who will join us in our journey to stop the Dark Lord. Many of you may know her, or recognize her, but I think it would be wise introduce ourselves.

"Dedalus Diggle," the man with the violet top hat.

"Elpias Doge, the silver bearded man.

"Mundungus Fletcher."

"Alastor Moody."

"Sturgis Podmore," the man with straw colored hair.

"Hestia Jones," the blacked haired witch.

"Kinsley Shaklebolt," he smiled at Tonks.

"Emmeline Vance," the woman staring at her tea.

"Minerva McGonagall."

"Molly Weasley."

"Arthur Weasley."

The final man at the table introduced himself, "Sirius Black." No! It couldn't be! Sitting right before her was Sirius Black; the mass murderer. How could he be there?

"Hello Nymphadora," he said coolly. "You look a little surprised to see me."

"You're….You're…"

"Yes, I know who I am; it is you that does not dearest cousin. Tonks never told anyone this, but she was related to Sirius Black. The mass murderer who killed innocent muggles. He was her mother Andromeda's cousin.

"Dumbledore," Tonks stuttered ", don't you know who that is?"  
"Yes I do. That is Sirius Black."

"But he's…he's."

"An innocent man that was wrongly accused. It is a shame that I cannot tell you the story today, but I am sure that he will be delighted to another time. I only have a short time to speak to all of you today." Tonks sat back down and shrank into her chair; that was the second time she had made a fool of herself.

She listened attentively while Dumbledore spoke and then Moody. Tonks watched all the members of the Order. They all looked so proud, so noble. They all sat together and listened to Dumbledore speak about plans for collecting Harry Potter from his relative's house.

The meeting ended after about fifty minutes. Dumbledore bid everyone goodbye and wished Tonks well. For a few minutes the Order members spoke among themselves.

"So Nymphadora," Hestia Jones began "do you think you would like to join the Order?"

"Oh yes. I would be honored o be a member."

After a few questions about her job and saying hello to professor McGonagall Tonks found her way to Moody again.

"Well, Tonks," he said "why don't you depart now so the order can discuss some things."

"Oh of course," Tonks said. She knew what he meant, he wanted her to leave so they could decide whether to induct her or not.

"Goodbye everyone," she said as she departed ", it was very nice to meet all of you. Good to see you again Mrs. Weasley!" With that she opened the door and left. As she walked down the street she turned back around, but Number 12 Grimmauld Place was gone.

OK so that was it. I hope you liked it. I know it was extremely long! Please review I worked so hard! :


	3. RJLupin

I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to update

I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I had a research project for school, and I wasn't to sure what I wanted to do with this chapter. I didn't want to write something pointless. Well it's all good I'm writing now; hopefully this one won't be as long as the last one, but you never know. Thanks again to ALL of my reviewers! Please read and review afterwards; you guys keep me writing. :

Ok, I wrote the above a long while ago, rather then erasing it I am just going to add to it. I am so completely sorry that it has taken me soooo long to update. I had a research paper and exams and then people came over my house and summer started. Now, I should be able to update more regularly since summer has arrived. I didn't exactly know how far I wanted to go with this chapter; I wasn't inspired to write it. I didn't want to write it without wanting to because then I would just be writing to finish and it wouldn't be as good. I'm done rambling; go on and read! Thanks so much for being patient and I am really sorry! I promise the next update will not take this long! Please review after reading!

Pottergirl

Disclaimer: J.K Rowling

**Chapter Three**

**R.J. Lupin**

It had been three days since Tonks's first meeting with the order, and she was twice as nervous as she had been. They still hadn't gotten back to her on whether they chose to induct her. She was sure Moody would show up the next day with the good, or possibly bad news, but when he hadn't come she let her nerves get the better of her. "What's taking so long? She asked herself as she filed paperwork. "They met me and they know I want to join. All they have to do is accept me or not. Ugh! All they have to do is tell me. Then I might actually be able to get some work done. What if they decide not induct me?" Her stomach dropped and she felt a sudden empty feeling. "What if they didn't like the way that I dressed or they think that I'm too clumsy. No, they wouldn't care about the way I dress, that doesn't matter when if I'm fighting evil wizards. Oh, but I am bloody clumsy, but I am a Metamorphmagus and they can definitely use that to their advantage. They have no reason not to induct me, why wouldn't they? She began to sense a slight cheery feeling within herself; a wave of confidence came over her. But what if they forget to get back to me, and I fall behind? What if they're having a meeting right now? Ugh this is so frustrating! I'm not going to get anything done until they tell me. I know I won't. Why can't they just tell me?"

Tonks's brain was fried and she hadn't even been at work for over three hours. This whole Order business was really getting to her. She kept thinking of every single possible reason that the Order had not gotten back to her yet; each one got twice as ridiculous as the previous. She just couldn't understand why they hadn't given her word. Certainly they understood how much she wanted to join. They had to recognize her enthusiasm; she was an auror for God sakes her job was, or should be, fighting dark wizards. She managed to push herself until one in the afternoon, but then she decided to go for a walk; she needed to stretch her legs.

After walking aimlessly around the ministry, trying to dodge anyone who might ask her for a favor, Tonks returned to her little wooden desk in the Auror department. When she arrived she was pleasantly surprised. On her desk sat a tawny owl with a letter attached to its leg. "I thought we weren't using owls anymore." She wondered to herself as she cautiously approached the bird; owls made her nervous ever since the incident when she was three. "Unless, no he wouldn't, they wouldn't; they wouldn't send it here." She moved a little faster toward the bird and detached the letter from his legs. "Thanks buddy," she quickly pet it. With that the tawny owl fluttered its wings and flew out the open window. She looked on the envelope; it was blank. "It has to be from Moody," she thought as she sat down in her swivel chair. "If it was anyone from the Ministry they would have signed the envelope. She tore open the off white envelope. There were only two sentences on the piece of parchment inside.

"_Nymphadora, meet me at Randy's pub at 4:15. Do not be late; burn this letter."_

_Alastor Moody_

Tonks made a mental note of Randy's. It was only a few streets over. "Figures he'd pick someplace I already know about." Tonks wasn't so good when it came to directions. She took Moody to Randy's after a very long day of auror training during her first year; it was shabby old pub that muggles came to after work. It rarely had more than fifteen people inside at a time, so it was a nice place to talk. Tonks's heart started pounding in her chest again; only this time it was worse. She had about two and half hours left. Merlin, she was nervous; her hands wouldn't stop shaking, but of course the day just had to get a tab bit worse. Only a few minutes after Tonks had opened the letter she saw Scrimgeour making his way over to her desk. "Just great," she thought. She had to think of something to do with the letter; obviously Scrimgeour had seen an owl fly in through the window. Quickly she shoved it into the back pocket of her jeans underneath of her robes.

"Hello Nymphadora," it was the same stern voice that she heard so many times before.

"It's Tonks sir."

"Of course. Now Nymphadora, I thought we weren't using owls anymore.

"So did I," she caught herself "; well what I mean is I didn't think we were anymore either, or at least that's what I was told."

"Well, you were told correctly, but I must ask why I just saw a tawny owl fly through your window, land on your desk, and then fly back out the window."

"Well, yes it did sir, but I didn't know that it came in until I came back to my desk."

"Well, if you know that we are no longer using owls then why are did one land on your desk?

"The letter I received was from someone outside of the ministry."

"Who was the letter from?"

"Alastor Moody."

"And what did he want?"

"Well, not to be rude in anyway, but I don't see how that's any of your business, sir."

"Well, it is my business because we are no longer using owls and one of them just flew through your window, you are working right now and you should not be receiving personal letters, and this is my department so I have every right to know what is distracting you from your job."

"Well, sir, it is not distracting me from my job. I looked at it and began working until you came over and stopped me. And if you must know I am going out to dinner with Moody this evening."

"Why is that?"

"I was his favorite student and I want to catch up with him. I've been begging for months, and he's finally agreed."

"Interesting, and where are you both going this evening?"

"Darleen's; it's that small café just two streets up."

"Well, may I see the letter?"

"Sir?"

"May I see the letter, Nymphadora?"

"I would say yes, but I already sent it back with the owl with my reply."

"Oh well that's fine then. Please get back to your job."

"Yes sir, oh and sir,"

"Yes, Nymphadora?"

"I know that my shift ends at four thirty today, but I have to leave early for dinner. I already am way ahead on my paperwork so that's not a problem."

"You've been leaving early a lot in these past few weeks, haven't you?"

"Well, yes, but the other time I wasn't feeling well sir, and I really have no control over that."

"Certainly, well I'm going to pay the minister a visit. Have a nice evening."

"You to sir." Tonks falsely smiled as he walked down the hall and out of site.

"I need to get rid of this letter," she thought to herself. "Incendio" the letter began to burn. Tonks tossed it into the trash bin without thinking and lit the whole thing on fire.

"OH bloody hell!" She whispered to herself. She took her cup of water off of her desk and dumped it into the trash bin; the flames ceased.

The hours had finally passed and it was time for Tonks to leave. "Merlin, I hope Scrimgeour doesn't bother me.

"Sir, I'm leaving."

"Have a nice evening Nymphadora."

"Thank you, and it's Tonks sir."

Ten minutes later Tonks was making her way up to Randy's. She pushed open the old broken door and peered around inside. It still wasn't crowded and still smelled like smoke and beer; just as Tonks remembered it. She looked around for Moody, but she didn't see him anywhere. She looked at the clock on the wall; 4:20. She was five minutes late. One thing that Moody constantly reminded her of, besides constant vigilance, was never be late! She had broken one of his most important rules. "So what?" She thought. "I'm not his student anymore. I don't have to worry about what he says or thinks. He'll say not to be late and I'll just tell him that I have my own things to worry about and I cannot be bothered by his attitude. While Tonks was having an argument with Moody in her head the real Moody appeared; well Tonks found him. She made her way over to where he was sitting in the corner.

"Hello Moody," she said cheerfully as she placed her bag on the dirty floor and grabbed a chair.

"Hello Nymphadora," he stared at her. Tonks's hand began to shake; her heart began to beat rapidly again; she felt sick.

"Well, I presume that you know what I want to speak with you."

"The Order sir?"

"Yes, the Order." He looked at Tonks and noticed her shaking hands. "Good Lord Nymphadora stop shaking!"

"I'm sorry Moody, but I can't help it, I'm too nervous."

"There's nothing to be nervous about. They have decided to induct you into the Order."

"Really?" Tonks was overwhelmed with excitement; words couldn't describe the feeling of relief that has just engulfed her.

"Yes, Nymphadora really. You'll be inducted this evening at seven thirty sharp. Do not be late! I must leave; I have important things to attend to."

"Wait Moody! How will I get Grimmauld place to show up. I had to read the parchment last time."

"You'll be fine Nymphadora. Dumbledore is the secret keeper and he allows you to get in. Just think about it when you arrive at Grimmauld Square."

"Oh Moody,"

"What is it Nymphadora?"

"I think Scrimgeour's suspicious. He's been up my arse all this week. He wanted to know about the letter you sent me."

"Did you burn it like I told you to?"

"Yes, but he still wanted to know."

"Know what?"

"Who it was from, where we were going, why were they sending it, why were we going."

"And what did you tell him?" He was silently praying the Nymphadora hadn't done anything stupid.

"I told him I'd been bugging you to catch up, you finally agreed, and that we were meeting for dinner at Darleen's."

"Well, thank goodness for that."

"Tonight, seven thirty, do not be late!

Tonks was so excited and incredibly relieved; tonight she was going to become a member of the Order of the Phoenix. She had to go back to her flat and find something to wear. She wanted to make a good impression on the Order members; she wanted them to know they had made a good decision. Tonks gathered up her bag and left a tip on the splintered wooden bar as she made her way out of the old, shabby pub. She hadn't actually drunk anything, but she did take up space in the pub and she figured it could use as much help as it could get. Once down the street and out of muggle sight Tonks apparated just down the road of her flat. The building in which she lived was mixed between muggles and wizards. She had protective charms on her flat; no one could apparate in or out.

After Tonks let herself into her flat she decided to make herself something to eat. This was the first time in a week that Tonks felt up to eating anything. To reward herself for this feeling, and being accepted by the Order, Tonks made herself three grilled cheese sandwiches; her favorite food. After eating her victory dinner Tonks thought it would be a good idea to find something to wear to the meeting; apparently her faded jeans and Weird Sisters T-Shirt wasn't the best apparel. After giving it some thought Tonks decided that she should wait to change. It was only five-thirty; she had a full two hours left before she was due to arrive at the meeting. She knew that she'd manage to stain whatever she chose to wear somehow, so she thought it best to wait for awhile.

She needed something to occupy her time; even though she'd been accepted she was still buzzing with excitement, and incredibly impatient for the meeting to come. She made herself a cup of hot tea and settled down on her couch with her quill and paperwork; she flipped on the radio. She was ahead on her paperwork, but she wasn't exactly as far ahead as she let Scrimgeour believe she was, so she figured she better get some of the done, before he made a big deal out of that. She tried to keep her focus on the pages in front of her, and began to hum to the song playing. For a minute she stopped to take a few sips of her tea. She sighed as she engulfed the wonderful aroma and heat of the cup in front of her. Her eyes began to drift shut; she lay her head against the back of her sofa and then fell asleep.

Tonks awoke groggily; she'd finally gotten some much needed sleep. She awoke with the cup and saucer still in her hands; half full with now cold tea. The radio was still playing; the quill was still laying on top a stack of paperwork next to Tonks on the sofa. She rubbed her eyes and she stood up and placed her cup in the sink; not even thinking of the time. "What time is it?" She thought to herself. Then it hit her! She rushed into her bedroom and looked at the clock; seven-twenty. She had to leave right then or she would be late. She looked down at herself; she had no time to change. "Oh well she thought" as she grabbed her wand and dashed out the door ", it'll have to do.

Within a few minutes time she found herself in Grimmauld Square. She remembered what Moody told her about thinking about number twelve. She did; she thought hard, and again, right before her eyes, number twelve appeared between numbers 11 and 13. She breathed a deep sigh, flatted down her hair and walked up to the door and knocked with the big brass knocker.

"Oh Nymphadora," Molly Weasley answered the door ", how wonderful to see you again. Well, quickly come in, the meeting's about to begin." Molly quickly ushered Tonks into the kitchen, not without Tonks tripping over the same stupid umbrella stand, but this time she didn't knock it over, or cause the mad woman in the portrait to start shrieking.

When Tonks arrived in the kitchen most of the Order members were seated. Author Weasley and Kingsley Shaklebolt were standing and speaking to her Professor Dumbledore.

"Ah Tonks," Dumbledore said turning around to face her, "you are here. Now we may begin the meeting." Arthur and Kingsley took their seats followed by Molly.

"Now," Dumbledore bean ", we are here this evening for a very special occasion; to induct a new member to the Order." Tonks smiled to herself. "As you all know our new member is Nymphadora Tonks. She is a young ambitious auror who is eager to join our cause. I know that most us introduced ourselves last meeting, but I think it would be wise to introduce ourselves again. So I will begin, Albus Dumbledore."

"Minerva McGonagall"

"Kinsley Shaklebolt" Tonks smiled at Kingsley's familiar face.

"Emmeline Vance"

"Aberforth Dumbledore"

"Sturgis Podmore"

"Alastor Moody"

"Hestia Jones"

"Dedalus Diggle"

"Sirius Black"

"Arthur Weasley"

"Molly Weasley," she smiled her motherly smile and Tonks.

"Mundungus Fletcher"

"Bill Weasley"

"Charlie Weasley" he smiled at his old school mate.

"Tonks," Dumbledore said "perhaps you would like to say a few words about yourself."

"Err," Tonks stuttered ", sure sir," she stood. "Well, err everyone I'm Nymphadora Tonks, but I prefer to go by Tonks. I'm an auror at the ministry and as I'm sure everyone has guessed I'm a metamorphmagus. Well, err I suppose that's all," she took her seat.

"Well that was very nice Tonks. Now you will take the oath. Repeat after me please. I Nymphadora Tonks,"

"I Nymphadora Tonks" she repeated

"Promise to use all that I have in my power to defeat the Dark Lord Voldemort"

"Promise to use all that I have in my power to defeat the Dark Lord Voldemort"

"I will stand by the members of the Order of the Phoenix in times of trouble and need"

"I will stand by the members of the Order of the Phoenix in times of trouble and need"

"I will fight for the equality of all wizard kind. I will protect the lives of the innocent"

"I will fight for the equality of all wizard kind. I will protect the lives of the innocent"

"I promise to be a loyal, trustworthy, member of the Order of the Phoenix"

"I promise to be a loyal, trustworthy, member of the Order of the Phoenix"

"I promise to keep all that I know about the Order a secret even under the threat of torture or death"

This part made Tonks flinch "; I promise to keep all that I know about the Order a secret even under the threat of torture or death."

"Above all I solemnly swear to fight for the goal of the Order of the Phoenix"

"Above all I solemnly swear to fight for the goal of the Order of the Phoenix"

"Do you Nymphadora Tonks accept your position as a member of the Order of the Phoenix?"

"I Nymphadora Tonks accept my position as a member of the Order of the Phoenix.'

"Congratulations, you are now a member of the Order." The table erupted in cheers.

"Now," Dumbledore began ", unfortunately I cannot stay passed the hour (it was 10 of eight) so we do not have a lot of time. At our next meeting we will discuss our plans for transporting Harry Potter here to Grimmauld Place. Alas, do not fret, your travels have not been wasted, I do believe that to celebrate our new member Molly has made a wonderful dinner for everyone." Molly flashed her motherly smile to everyone. "The meeting is adjourned."

Quickly Molly rose and began to speak to the Order Members ", everyone dinner will be ready momentarily." She moved from her seat and dashed over to the oven where something that smelled delicious was stirring itself in a pot. For a few moments there was silence, but then the Order members began to speak amongst themselves. Arthur and Kinsley stood up and continued their conversation with Dumbledore. Bill and Charlie made their way over to Tonks's seat.

"Hey Tonks!" Bill said reaching down and giving her a tight hug.

"Yeah," his brother Charlie chimed in giving her a hug as well ", what's it been four years?"

"Your mother said the same thing," Tonks began to laugh. She and Charlie had been very good friends back in Hogwarts. "So how's life treating the both of you?"

"Oh you know," Charlie began ", the usual, working with the dragons, same old, same old. I did nearly get my hand bitten off the other day though."

"Oh really," Tonks asked curiously ", and how did you manage that?"

"Long story; Hungarian Horntails aren't the nicest of dragons."

"Well, I thought Hungarian Horntails were from Hungary. What was one doing in Romania?"

"We brought him over for study."

"Well no wonder he was angry; all those strange weird looking people staring at you."

"I felt the same way once when my parents and I went to Paris to visit an old friend of my mum's. All the people kept staring and pointing at me because of my hair. I wanted to cast Tarantallegra on all of them, and see how they liked people staring, but my mum thought it would be inappropriate. How's it going for you Bill?"

"Just fine; still working at Gringott's. What about you. Did you actually pass your auror exam?"

"Yes, I did thank you very much," Tonks stated proudly. "I'm working at the auror department, but all I do is fill out ruddy paper work, and Scrimgeour, he's head of the office, has been up my arse all week about leaving early; but that's about it."

"Well everyone," Dumbledore said aloud ", I must be off. Our next meeting will be held next Tuesday. I hope you all will be able to attend. Good evening."

"Wow, eight o'clock already?" Charlie exclaimed. "I've got to get going. I'm leaving for Romania tomorrow. I've been off the passed two weeks for the meetings."

"Oh alright then, I'll see you next week," Tonks squeezed him gently.

"Actually you won't. I can't get any more time off. Next week we've got three more dragons coming in. I can't leave."

"I'm leaving as well," Bill said. "I've got work early tomorrow, and I can't get off next week so I'll see you around Tonks."

"See you," she gave him a gentle squeeze. With that both of the Weasley brothers made their way over to their mother and kissed her goodbye. As they exited the kitchen they bid the other Order members farewell and were gone.

Now that Charlie and Bill were gone Tonks felt very much alone. They, besides Moody, who was in a deep conversation with Hestia Jones, were the only people she really knew from the Order. Her worries soon had ended because Molly announced that dinner was ready and all of the Order members took seat at the kitchen table. Almost as soon as Molly set the plates on the table Hestia Jones began to speak to her."

"So Nymphadora," she began after taking a bite of her potatoes ", you're a metamorphmagus how interesting. Is your hair normally that lovely shade of purple?

"Well, the shade changes with my emotions. I'm not really sure what each color means, but I think purple means that I'm content. I know that pink means I'm happy."

"Can you also change your facial features?" Sturgis Podmore asked.

"Yes I can," Tonks said ", I can change it to anything." To demonstrate she changed her nose into a pig snout and her mouth into a duck bill.

"Fascinating," he replied. The conversation continued throughout dinner and flipped from work to family even Quidditch was brought up. Tonks began to feel more at home with the people seated around her.

About an hour or so later everyone had finished their dinner and Molly was cleaning. Tonks practically begged for Molly to let her help, but she flat out refused. Tonks couldn't tell if it was because she didn't want Tonks to have to do anything, or because Tonks was known for being clumsy.

Most of the Order members said their goodbyes and left, but a few remained. Arthur made tea for everyone and they all had retired to the living room. Tonks decided hesitantly to sit down on the dusty old couch toward the back of the room. A few minutes later Sirius sat down next to her.

"Hello, Nymphadora."

"Hello Sirius, and please call me Tonks."

"Right, Tonks. So what's new dear cousin."

"Nothing much other then this; how about you?"

"Just getting used to living life as a free man in my own house," he said gesturing around the living room to show it was his home."

"Oh so this is your house?"

"Yes, I offered it up to Dumbledore to use as headquarters."

"Well that was very nice of you. If you don't mind my asking, err how it that you err…are"

"That I'm here meeting with the Order of the Phoenix instead of dead like everyone thinks I should be. Well, I don't particularly feel like telling the whole long story, but I was wrongly accused of something that I did not do. I waited twelve years in Azkaban and finally managed to get free. I've been living life on the run mostly until I got back here."

"FILTHY MUDBLOODS IN MY HOUSE!" The painting began to scream; the curtains had been ripped open.

"Oh well, I see that you've met my mum; charming woman really, excuse me." He got up and ran over to the portrait slamming the curtains closed. "Kreacher!" he shouted ", where are you? I've told you not to open those curtains!" He began to walk up the stairs.

After Sirius had gone the slender man with fading brown hair sat down on the other end of the couch; his briefcase at his feet. He was talking to Moody and Arthur, but Tonks couldn't hear their conversation. He lifted his briefcase up onto the empty part of the couch and pulled out a picture of someone, but Tonks couldn't make it out. Arthur and Moody were whispering and nodding in reply. A few moments later when the man placed the picture back into his brief case Arthur announced that he was going to go help Molly in the kitchen, and Moody decided to leave.

The slender man was the only person in the Order who Tonks didn't know. He'd arrived late and didn't introduce himself. He stood his briefcase up and closed it shut, then turned his head to grab his cup of tea. There was gold lettering on the top of the briefcase, Tonks traced it with her finger and said the initials aloud.

"R.J. Lupin."

The man looked up at her as she looked back at him curiously.

"It stands for Remus John Lupin," he said. "Nice to meet you, sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier."

"It's alright," Tonks replied. She glanced at the briefcase again "Professor R. J. Lupin. You're a professor? Where you teach?"

"I used to be a professor," Remus stated.

"Where did you teach?"

"Hogwarts."

"Oh I went to Hogwarts."

"As did I."

"What subject did you teach?"

"Defense against the dark arts."

"Oh that was one of my favorite classes; well obviously because I'm an auror. Why'd you stop teaching?"

"I resigned."

"Oh. What do you do now?"  
"I work for Dumbledore now."

"Oh that's interesting. I love Dumbledore; he's such a wonderful headmaster." Tonks was disparately trying to get this conversation going, but Remus just didn't seem interested.  
"Yes, Dumbledore is a wonderful man."

"Well, err I think I'm going to be going."

"Oh so soon?" Sirius asked as he came down the stairs. "Sorry Kreacher needed a talking to."

"Kreacher?"

"My ruddy house elf."

"Well, yes I need to get going. Bye Sirius, nice to meet you Remus. Bye Arthur, bye Molly dinner was wonderful thank you."

She headed down the hall to the door when she heard Sirius talking to Remus.

"So what do you think of my dear cousin?"

"Well I don't really know enough about her to give an opinion."

"Oh stop being so logical, just tell me what you think of her so far."

"Well, I think she is a bit immature I supposed with those impressions she gave at dinner. She is a tad bit annoying with all the questions she asked. She seems to be very clumsy, but she seems to be a nice person."

Tonks was astounded. She thought she made a great impression, but she was wrong. She thought the other Order members liked her, but what if they thought the same thing and just didn't tell her.

"Forget getting to sleep tonight,' she thought ", I'm too bloody worried now."

Well that's it. This chapter is ridiculously long, and I apologize, but wanted to keep all of it in there. Thanks for reading if you made it down here. Please review. Thanks!

Pottergirl


	4. A Misunderstanding

Hello again everyone

Hello again everyone! I would like to apologize for how long it took me to write the last chapter. I know it had quite a few spelling and grammatical errors and I apologize. It was very late in the evening and I wanted to get the chapter out because it had already taken so long. I also know that the end of the story was a littler rushed and I apologize for that as well. I also want to apologize for the incredible long length of the last chapter. I didn't want to omit any of the things I wrote, and it just kept getting longer.

I am so sorry for the extreme wait on this chapter. I didn't know where I was going with the story so I wanted to wait until I figured it out. Here it is. And once again I apologize.

P.S. -I'm pretty sure that they Order wasn't going to transport Harry until the dementor attack, but I'm going a little off canon with this one.

Disclaimer: This belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Chapter Four-A misunderstanding **

Well, Tonks was almost right about not being able to sleep. For about three hours she found it quite impossible, but when the fourth hour hit she found it to be considerably easier. The next morning she woke up early, showered, and was able to eat a decent breakfast. It was the first time in months that she was organized in the morning and not rushing around. She was rather proud of herself, until she spilled her hot tea all over her shirt. "Well," she thought ", it was almost perfect." Tonks was still particularly puzzled over what Mr. R.J Lupin had said about her the night before. "I was just trying to be friendly," she thought as she closed the door to her flat and made her way down the hall. "He was the one who wasn't talking. He was being annoying if either of us was. And my morphing; I wasn't being immature; I was just showing my skill. They asked me about it, so I showed them.

"Stop worrying about it," a voice in her head spoke to her. "The rest of the Order liked you, and maybe this guy was just having an off day. Just forget about what he said." Tonks knew the voice was right, but she just couldn't help stressing over what he had said. She knew she was clumsy, everyone knew; there was no way to disagree with that. "Immature; I know my clothing may not be the most suitable, but I am most certainly not immature. I am young, but that does not mean I'm immature. I know I can be annoying, but I don't see how was being so when I was just trying to talk to him."

When Tonks arrived at the ministry it was business as usual - paperwork. Nothing was really different then any other boring day. Tonks couldn't wait for the next meeting. Work was just a blur; a boring blur. Tonks was utterly sick of the same thing every day. If she wanted to be doing the same thing every single day she wouldn't have chosen to become an auror. Being an auror was supposed to be exciting, and it wasn't. Tonks was getting sick of listening to herself complain about how incredibly boring her job was, but she wouldn't have to complain if it wasn't so boring.

Nothing particularly exciting happened between the day after the meeting and the next one. Tonks did paperwork, the weekend came, she did more paperwork, cleaned her flat (sort of), and did some more paperwork. Finally, Tuesday managed to arrive. When Tonks woke up she felt that same anxious feeling that she had the previous times when dealing with the Order. The feeling made her nervous, like she was dropping ten feet down. "You have to stop getting so nervous," she thought to herself as she was leaving for yet another boring blurry day of work. "You're a member now; an accepted, equal member." "Not accepted by everyone," a voice in her head intruded. "Stop worrying over that," she told herself. "He must have been having an off day, you did nothing to offend or annoy him," she reassured herself.

Once arriving at work Tonks began working on paperwork, as per usual. "How can there be this much to report about?" She thought. "And who's stopping all of this from going on while the aurors are sitting here reading and reporting about it?" Tonks pondered over that for awhile, but then eventually got frustrated and bored and went back to her paperwork.

Finally Tonks shift was over and it was time to head over to head quarters. She decided to stop and get some hot chocolate on her way. Something about hot chocolate just made her feel better. The way the heat warmed her up and the chocolaty liquid slightly burned her throat just made her feel peaceful. She sighed as she took a large sip from the cup she had just bought from the book store on her way to Grimmauld Place. As she walked along the road and happily drank her hot chocolate she gathered her thoughts. She drank deeply from her cup as she crossed street after street. By the end of her journey she decided that she would forgive Mr. R.J Lupin for his bad first impression (she wasn't actually going to say anything to him she was going to forgive him in her mind) she was also going to do all that she could to help out with the Order; no more bring shy and sitting in the back, she was going to give opinions. She was also not going to take any questions from Scrimgeour anymore. She hadn't really bothered her in a while, but she was pretty sure he was going to start up again once she was more involved in the Order.

After pondering and walking for a good distance Tonks remembered that she actually didn't know where Grimmauld Square was, she always apparated a short distance from there. She had had some time to kill so she decided to walk for a while, but because she had allowed herself to immerse herself in her many thoughts she was going to be late. Quickly she threw her empty cup in a trash can on the corner of the road and ran to the nearest alley way. She checked up and down the long narrow way three times before she decided it was safe. In a few short seconds she felt the same tightening feeling that was apparition. She slammed her eyes shut and held her breath.

After the tightening feeling had ceased Tonks opened her eyes and allowed herself to breathe again. She found herself standing in Grimmauld Square. As per usual number twelve was missing. She closed her eyes and thought about number twelve and when she opened them again the houses began to separate to reveal the dilapidated building. "Ten minutes early," Tonks said to herself. She was off to a good start. When she walked up to the big wooden door she mentally noted to be extra careful when passing the troll leg umbrella stand.

As soon as Tonks stepped into the room she was engulfed with a wonderful smell of a mixture of foods. She deeply breathed in the wonderful aroma. "Molly must be making dinner again," she thought. Tonks knew Molly was an excellent cook. She had only been over to the Burrow once during the summer before sixth year. She had gone down to spend a week with Charlie in the middle of July. She didn't remember much about the week, but she did remember Molly's cooking; it was the best she had ever tasted. She remembered the soup Molly made for them after they had been playing Quidditch for three hours. Tonks had always loved Quidditch, but because her lack of coordination she never even tried out for the Hufflepuff's team. Unfortunately for Tonks she was so entranced in the memory that she didn't notice that she had made her way down the hallway and was standing a few feet right in front of the troll leg umbrella stand. Suddenly Tonks thoughts were interrupted when she went crashing to the floor, once again over the stupid umbrella stand. "Bloody Hell," Tonks whispered to herself as she lifted herself off of the floor.

"Filthy Mudbloods In my home!" The portrait of Tonks great aunt once again began to shriek. Like clock work Arthur Weasley and R.J. Lupin came rushing in to close the curtains; Tonks cursed to herself while she picked up the umbrellas that were scattered all along the hall.

"Tonks are you alright dear?" Mrs. Weasley questioned as she turned away from the stove for a moment.

"Yes, Mrs.Weasley, I'm alright thanks. I just can't help tripping over that stupid umbrella stand. It's just so big."

"Yes, well it's quite alright dear. Everyone's in the sitting room waiting for Dumbledore to arrive."

"Thanks. And whatever you're cooking smells amazing." Mrs. Weasley smiled her motherly smile in return.

Tonks made her way into the living room where she recognized the faces of the Order members. She moved her gaze across the room and watched the members interact with one another. She felt so out of place. All of the members knew each other so well. They worked together, knew each other from school, and some were members of the original Order. She felt rather stupid standing there alone, but she had no idea where to go. Suddenly she noticed Sirius descending from the stairs and decided that she would go over and stand with him.

"Why hello there dearest cousin."

"Wotcher Sirius," Tonks replied.

"So how's the job treating you?" He asked in a casual tone.

"Err, well," Tonks stuttered ", it's rather boring. We don't do anything but ruddy paperwork."

"Ah well at least you get to have a job. I can't leave the house."

"Yeah, the must be horrible," Tonks said noticing the sadness in her cousin's eyes ", but I'm sure that one day soon you'll be free again."

"I surely hope so. It would be nice to walk around the streets on twos instead of fours."

"Hello Padfoot," Remus said as he joined the two.

"Hey Moony," Sirius responded.

"Nymphadora," Remus nodded his head.

"Wotcher," Tonks responded once again with her signature greeting. "And it's Tonks," she added politely.

"Oh right," he mentally corrected himself. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," Remus added.

"No, we were just talking about how nice it will be once Sirius is free again."

"Oh," was Remus's only response.

"Excuse me everyone," Arthur interrupted everyone's conversations.

"Professor Dumbledore and Mad-eye have arrived and we are going to begin the meeting." Everyone made their way into the kitchen and took their places at the long wooden table.

"Good evening all," Dumbledore said in is wise friendly tone. "Today we have come together to discuss how we will transport Mr. Potter from his current home at Privet Drive to Grimmauld Place. We would like to retrieve Mr. Potter before the beginning of August. Now, Alastor would like to discuss the plans for the transport of Mr. Potter."

"Ahem," Mad-eye said as he stood up from his seat on Dumbledore's right. "Well, we have decided that we will retrieve Potter at the beginning of August. A few of us will go to Privet Drive to accompany Harry back here to Grimmauld place. We have decided that once he has arrived he will not be permitted to go anywhere alone. The current situation is too dangerous for Potter to be traveling the streets without company."

"Thank you Alastor," Dumbledore said rising from his seat. "I know many of you have been wondering about some of the current problems with the ministry of magic. As of right now I cannot share anything with you, for I do not definitely know the answers myself. Once I have discovered the answers, I will share with you any information that I acquire. Now, I must unfortunately depart once again. Molly has once again cooked a lovely dinner for us all. Our next meeting will be Friday at seven. I hope to see you all here. The meeting has ended."

Molly immediately jumped up from her chair and ran over to the stove. "Dinner will be ready in a few moments," she said cheerily.

Tonks once again didn't know what to do. She was sitting in between Hestia Jones and Emmaline Vance. She didn't know either of them very well; this was where her shyness kicked in. She knew that she would have to get to know them, they were fellow members and she would be spending a lot of time with them. She desperately wished she was sitting with Sirius. She didn't really know him that well either, but he was easy to talk to and had a knack for starting up conversations.

Dinner was a tad awkward, but it got better as it went on. She talked to Kingsley as well as Emmaline and Hestia; they were both very friendly and incredibly gifted witches. Soon after dinner Tonks decided to leave, she had more paperwork to catch up on. She bid farewell to everyone and made her way out the large, heavy, wooden door. Once again she began to walk down the street and turned to face Number twelve before she apparated, and just like the last time it had disappeared.

After yet another few days of boring blurry work Friday had arrived. Tonks got herself up and once again her nervous feeling came again, but this time she merely brushed it off. She was really excited about this particular meeting. Dumbledore obviously had some secret information he was going to share with the Order and Tonks could not wait until they found out what it was.

Work that day was what Tonks had expected it to be; boring yet again. But as least it was the weekend and she had the meeting that night. Everything was going quite normally until Tonks decided to step outside for a lunch break. After walking down the road to the bakery on the corner, (Tonks couldn't remember the name) and snacking on a rather delicious chocolate doughnut, Tonks found herself standing in the ministry elevator crammed between seven people. It was exactly as the door opened when she arrived at her floor that a small piece of parchment shaped like a bird flew and hit her square on her forehead. "What the…?" Tonks whispered as she picked the piece of parchment out of the air. She realized almost immediately afterward that it was the new memos; the new "method" instead of owls. As Tonks was walking down the long twisted hallways of the ministry on the way to the auror office she unfolded and smoothed the piece of parchment. She stopped dead in her tracks when she read what was written on it. It read "Tonks - meeting has been changed to 6:00. Get there as soon as possible. Urgent. Arthur Weasley.

"What was wrong?" Tonks thought. Just a few days previous the Order had seemed calm and relaxed, and now they moved their meeting up and hour because something urgent had come up. Thousands of possibilities were running through Tonks's mind. What if someone was hurt or dead? What if Voldemort was on the move? Tonks had a few hours to go before the meeting was rescheduled, and honestly, once again she did not know how she was going to make it through the rest of the day.

On the exact second the minute had changed on the clock on Tonks's desk she jumped up from her seat ready to depart from the ministry. She dashed passed people, and darted passed everyone that could potentially try and stop her. Once outside of the building she sprinted to the nearest alley way and performed her normal two way three time check. Then she began to feel the same tightening feeling and before she knew it she was standing in Grimmauld Square. Routinely she closed her eyes and thought hard about number twelve, as she opened her eyes the houses were once again separating. Only this time everything seemed to be moving twice as slowly. She began tapping her foot in frustration. Finally she could see the huge wooden door with the aged brass knocker at the top of the steps. Quickly she made her way up to the door and quietly pushed it open. She wanted to make a mad dash for the kitchen and jump right in and discover what the problem was, but she knew if she tried something like that it would only end up badly. She was right. Even walking was giving her issues; she tripped over the umbrella stand yet again. However, this time she was able to catch herself before she hit the floor. The umbrella stand didn't even tip this time; she breathed a sigh of relief.

Once she entered the kitchen she entered a scene of chaos, well maybe that was an exaggeration, but the room was certainly buzzing. Dumbledore was standing in the corner talking to Moody and Arthur. Kingsley Sirius and Remus were all speaking together in the center of the room. Hestia Jones, Sturgis Podmore, and Emmaline Vance were all vigorously chatting. Molly was once again hanging over the stove making tea for everyone.

"Molly," Tonks said as she walked over to the stove ", what's wrong? What's going on?"

"Oh it's Harry," Molly gushed as the kettle started shrieking.

"What happened? Is he ok?"

"Ahem!" Dumbledore said as he walked to the front of the room ", could everyone please have a seat." Everyone in the room quickly made their way to their seats. Molly pointed her wand at the cups of tea and sent them flying across the room; each gracefully landed in front of a chair.

"Ahem. Thank you," Dumbledore said in his friendly tone. "Now as you all know our meeting this evening was scheduled for seven, but had to be changed because of an urgent situation. As some of you know already this situation concerns Harry Potter. Yesterday evening Harry and his cousin Dudley encountered dementors near there home." The gasps in the room were unified. "Both the boys were outside on their way back to Privet Drive when they encountered the attack."

"Albus, Professor McGonagall interrupted "is Potter alright?"

"Yes, Minerva, he is fine and so is his cousin. Luckily Harry knows how to produce a patronus charm, and was able to use it to escape the dementors. Arabella Figg found them and made sure they returned home safely. From what we understand his uncle and aunt were furious and ordered him to leave their home."

"Dumbledore," Sturgis interrupted "he can't leave the house though. It's the only place where he is safe for sure."

"Yes Sturgis," Dumbledore responded "that is the only place he's safe. But do not worry. I, along with Arthur have sent him numerous messages instructing him to not leave his house under any circumstances."

"So he's alright as of now?" Emmaline asked.

"Yes, he is fine."

"But we must act quickly, "Moody stated standing up as Dumbledore took his seat. "Firstly, we have to decide when to retrieve Potter. His hearing isn't until the twelfth of August."

"I say the sooner the better," Kingsley stated.

"I agree," McGonagall added "I've seen those people and they are the worst sort of muggles imaginable. I cannot imagine that Potter is having anything short of a horrible time.

"I say that we just go get him tomorrow, Sirius stated. "I don't want my godson living with those people."

"We cannot do that Sirius because we are almost certain that Harry's aunt and uncle will not be so welcoming to our arrival. We have to make sure that they are not present when we come to retrieve Potter."

"They told him to leave," Sirius almost yelled ", what would they care if he left?"

"We're just certain Sirius," Moody said sternly ",we can't take a chance."

"But how will we know for certain when his family is there?" Hestia questioned.

"That is precisely the problem," Moody replied.

"We'll need some sort of distraction," Remus began ", something that will get them out of the house for certain for a set amount of time."

"But none of us no them well enough to chose something that would definitely get them out of the house," Emmaline said.

"Someone needs to find out!" Moody demanded.

"I'll do it!" Tonks volunteered. The order members just stared at her curiously. "Well," she began ", I have obviously advantages. I could spy on them for awhile and see what they're like. Then we could decide what to do. I could go tomorrow."

"That is a splendid idea," Dumbledore said rising from his seat. "Thank you very much for volunteering Nymphadora." Tonks cringed at the sound of her name, but didn't say anything. Professor Dumbledore could call her whatever he pleased.

"Well, again I must depart. Cornelius would like to speak with me, and I fear that I am already late for our meeting. Our next meeting will be held tomorrow evening at six. Good evening to all. The meeting has ended."

"Well everyone," Molly said ",dinner's running a little late because of the change of time, but it'll only be a few minutes." She dashed over to the stove.

Tonks felt a strong tap on her shoulder "; Tonks come have a word with me in the hall."

"Err, sure," Tonks stuttered like Moody had asked her for a word rather than instructed her to come. Tonks followed Moody out into the narrow hallway.

"Nymphadora this is serious. You cannot mess this up."

"Moody I'll be fine. All I need to do is watch the Dusleys or Drusleys or whatever they're called, for a while and figure out what will get them out of the house.

"Nymphadora," Moody said sternly "everything having to do with the Order is serious and I want you to treat it as such."

"I will Moody, I promise."

Tonks awoke bright and early the next morning, showered, and got dressed. She had no idea what the muggles on Privet Drive dressed like, or how they acted so she tried her best to find a general outfit. After searching for about thirty minutes she finally decided on a pair of non ripped jeans (one of the two pairs she owned) and a plain black shirt. She turned on her radio as she sipped her morning tea. She had to think of some way to watch the Drusleys, or whatever they were called, without them knowing. After finishing her tea Tonks decided that she better get ready to leave. She promised Dumbledore and the rest of the Order that she would have information by the meeting that evening.

Once outside her flat Tonks apparated to Privet Drive. When she arrived she was nothing short of speechless. Everything looked the same, all the cars, the houses, the mailboxes, even the few people that were outside all looked the same. Tonks looked down at her outfit and silently prayed that it would work out alright. She took a deep breath and began strolling down Privet Drive. As she walked down the street she glanced at the house numbers until her eyes finally came across number four. No one was outside. It was still early so Tonks presumed that they were still sleeping. Tonks began to walk down the rest of the street. "What am I going to do?" Tonks questioned herself. "I guess I'll have to keep walking up and down the street until someone comes outside."

After the third walk up Tonks finally noticed some activity. A rather large man was closing the front door of number four. Tonks bent down to "tie" her shoes. He made his way to the end of the driveway and admired his lawn; Tonks made a mental note of that. He turned his head and gazed at Tonks sitting on the other side of the street tying her shoes. Quickly she turned her head, stood up and continued to move. About and hour later Tonks was sick of waiting so she decided that she would go sit for a little while and the small park that she saw down the road.

After about an hour of sitting on the hard wooden bench Tonks decided that it was time to go back to patrolling the street. She changed her hair to blonde and began making her way back to Privet Drive. This time she saw a thin woman with an abnormally long neck pruning weeds along the side of the fence. After walking back and forth a few more times Tonks realized that the woman, who must have been Harry's aunt, wasn't going to be doing anything different for awhile, so she decided to go for some lunch.

After enjoying a warm grilled cheese sandwich Tonks went back to patrolling yet again only to realize that the woman was still working on the lawn. At this point Tonks began to wish that she brought something to occupy her. She knew that spying on the Drusleys wasn't going to be terribly exciting, but she had expected a little more action. At around four Tonks strolled back down the street and discovered that the woman was gone. Tonks sought that as an opportunity to get a closer look at the house. As she got closer Tonks realized how much all of the houses looked alike; there was nothing different about them. "How do these people figure out which one's theirs?" She asked herself. She pretended once again to have untied laces and bent down to tie them right in front of the Dursley's front yard. As Tonks looked closely she realized how wonderful their lawn really did look. It was amazing, a little too perfect for Tonks's taste, but perfect none-the-less; not a blade was out of place.

Suddenly an idea struck Tonks and she knew what she was going to do to occupy her time until the meeting.

Later that evening Tonks found herself back in the kitchen of Number twelve Grimmauld Place. As usual Molly was preparing something amazing; the scent drifted through the entire house.

"Good evening," Dumbledore said as the members quieted themselves ", I am pleased to see all of you. Now let us get right down to business. Nymphadora how did your day go?"

"It was great," Tonks replied excitedly. "I think I found the perfect thing to get them out of the house." Everyone stared at Tonks anxiously. "Well, as I was observing today I noticed that the Drusleys,"  
"Dursley's" Arthur corrected her out loud.

"Dursley's," Tonks corrected herself "they really fancy their lawn. I swear the woman spent the entire afternoon weeding. So I thought that they certainly would leave the house if they were being awarded for their lawn." The Order members' faces looked confused, but Tonks had no problem explaining. "I drew up a letter to the Dursley's saying that they have been short-listed for the All-England Best-Kept Suburban Lawn. Ahem," she began to read the letter aloud. "_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Vernon Dursley we are please to inform you that you have been selected for the All-England Best-kept suburban Lawn. We request your presence at the prize giving on the 6__th__ of July at seven thirty p.m. at 102 Courtham Road, Surrey. Please bring your child (ren, as well as any other family members you wish along with you. We look forward to seeing you there. Once again congratulations!"_

"Quite impressive," Dumbledore said rising from his seat ", well done Nymphadora. I will be placing this in the muggle post tomorrow morning."

"Very good job indeed Tonks," Arthur said.

"Well," Dumbledore began "let us not deprive Molly of serving us her wonderful meal any longer. Our next meeting will be held Monday at six."

Later that evening all of the members were sitting in the living room chatting with each other. Tonks was in the kitchen talking to Molly when Dumbledore announced his departure. He once again thanked Tonks and praised her on the excellent job she had done. A few minutes later Tonks glanced at the clock and realized that it was quarter to ten; she decided it was time to go home. She walked into the living room and slipped passed the chatting Order members and bid farewell to Sirius and Remus. They followed Tonks to the hallway and waved goodbye as she made her way to the front door; then they retreated to the kitchen. As Tonks was walking down the hall she could hear their muffled voices.

"So Moony," Sirius began "What do you think of my dear cousin now that you have had the opportunity to form an opinion." Tonks held her breath as she waited for his reply. Unfortunately she couldn't hear every word because of the other Order members talking in the living room. She did hear "Well, she certainly is clumsy, immature, annoying."

"Uggh!" Tonks was infuriated "that git still thinks all those things about me after all I've done." Tonks flung open the door and slammed it shut on her way out.

Unfortunately, Tonks was unaware that she misunderstood what Remus has said; she only heard bits and pieces of it.

"So what do you think of my dear cousin now that you've had time to form an opinion?"

"Well, she certainly is clumsy. However, I don't find her immature, and I don't think she's annoying, just full of questions."

"See you were wrong about everything, except the clumsy part."

"I told you I didn't have enough time to form an opinion. Now that I do I realize that my first impression was incorrect. May I remind you that you are the one that forced me to say something.

"Whatever you say."

Well there you have it; it was long, but I thought it was good. Please review it makes me smile! Thanks again!


	5. The Advance Guard

So I hoped you all liked the last chapter of A Change of Heart

So I hoped you all liked the last chapter of **A Change of Heart. ** I know it was rather lengthy. I am hoping that as the story goes on and Tonks/Remus relationship becomes deeper the chapters will shorten a bit. Well, I am trying to write more frequently because it took me ages, far longer than it should have, for me to get the last two chapters out. As per usual I'm going on and on. I hope you enjoy the fifth chapter. Please review after you're done reading. It only takes a minute to give me your thoughts.

P.S. This is crucially important in the previous chapter I wrote that Dumbledore was going to put the letter in the post on Monday morning, but I meant to write the next morning. I changed it, but I'm not sure if it went through or not. Thanks!

Disclaimer: This all belongs to the brilliant Mrs. Rowling.

**Chapter Five**

**The Advance Guard**

Finally Monday had arrived; Tonks believed that the past weekend had been the longest of her life. Of course that wasn't entirely true. The longest weekend of her life had been the one before she went to the Quidditch Cup about five years ago. This weekend had come pretty close though. Se had been praying that Monday would arrive and finally it had. At the last meeting of the Order of the Phoenix she had shared her written letter, rather distraction, to the Dursley's to the rest of Order for their approval. Dumbledore praised her on the excellence of the job, Friday had been her best meeting yet; she was looking forward to more like that. Her long day at the office, as per usual seemed three times as long, but she made it through.

Work had ended an hour previously, but it was only five and Tonks had an hour to go before she was due to arrive at the meeting. She was attempting to busy herself with things around the house; she was extremely excited as per usual and found it considerably difficult to keep herself still while waiting. When she arrived home she made her bed, a rare occurrence, and cleaned up the kitchen, which had been littered with cups and plates that she hadn't had the chance to put away before. Now, she believed that there was no more work to be done around the house. She thought of her mother; she knew she would disagree. Tonks's mum, Andromeda always told her "there is never no work to be done." Tonks smiled, she wasn't like her mum. Her mum was graceful, focused, and she could cook very well. Tonks was dead clumsy, her mind strayed often, and her cooking wasn't terrible, but it certainly wasn't the best. Her mum would have frowned at Tonks idea of cleaning, for her own was so remarkably different. Andromeda's idea of clean was what most peoples' were, while Tonks was slightly short of that. At that moment Tonks decided it would be nice to send an owl to her parents, she hadn't spoken to them in a while and she knew it would become more difficult if the meetings became more frequent. She walked over to the cramped desk in the corner of her room; it had a thick layer of dust covering it. Tonks hated desks, she felt they trapped her. She despised the one she used at work and flat out refused to sit at one at home. She only kept it because it gave the room a more roomy feeling and her grandmother; her dad's mum of course, had bought it for her when she passed auror training. She opened the tiny drawer on the side and fiddled around for a few moments until she found a spare piece of parchment. On her way out she grabbed an unused quill that lay motionless on the desk; when she lifted it there was a spot which had no dust covering.

She took some ink that she had on the coffee table in the living room, dipped her quill in it, and began to write at the kitchen table. _Dear Mum and Dad, How are you? I hope everything is going well. I know I haven't spoken to either of you in a while so I thought I would write. I'm sorry I haven't sooner, but I've been really busy with work. I hope you both are having a nice summer and I promise I'll be over soon. All my love to you both, Love Dora. _Tonks always signed the letters she wrote to her parents with the name that Ted, Tonks' Dad, called her- Dora. When she was younger she despised her name, just as she did now, and for quite sometime refused to answer if anyone dare call her by it. Her father had always called her Dora for short so he had no problem, Andromeda on the other hand, who refused to call Tonks by any other name besides Nymphadora, had a much harder time trying to communicate with her. After Tonks read over her letter, folded it, and tied a small, lacey, red ribbon around it she called for her owl, Dotty; tied it around her leg, and sent her off.

About thirty minutes later Tonks found herself walking out of her front door preparing to go to Grimmauld Place for the next meeting. Once safely away from any muggles Tonks apparated to Grimmauld Square. Again she arrived early and rather proud of herself.

Once inside Tonks found that she was actually one of the last to arrive; the only person who was later than she was Emmaline Vance. As soon as she entered Dumbledore called the members together.

"Welcome to another meeting," Dumbledore said warmly. "As we all know Nymphadora wrote a rather fantastic letter to the Dursley family which I placed in the muggle post Saturday morning. We are fairly certain that the Dursley's will comply and be gone during the hours of Harry's retrieval. I have put together an advance guard to go and get Harry and accompany him back here to Grimmauld Place; several people volunteered earlier. Those people will need to be here tomorrow at six, those who don't will not need to be here until seven on Thursday. Of course, I'm sure Sirius will not have a problem with anyone stopping by to greet Harry and enjoy the wonderful dinner I am certain Molly is cooking. Now, we must discuss the members of the advance guard," Dumbledore said getting back to the subject.

"Alastor," Dumbledore began ", will be going and heading the execution. Remus you will be going as well. Harry will recognize you. Now, the rest; Dedalus, Elphias, Hestia, Sturgis, Kingsley, Emmaline, and Nymphadora. Thank you all for volunteering." Tonks hadn't volunteered, but she presumed Dumbledore knew she would want to go along.

"Dumbledore," Sirius chimed in ", Can't I go along. I can stay in my dog form and the muggles won't even be there."

"Of course you can't," Moody loudly declared ", what a fine idea that would be. A convicted murderer and escapee from Azkaban prison present during what is supposed to be a secret operation. What would happen if someone were to see you?"

"They'd think I was a dog."

"I meant what if a wizard saw you."

"I thought this was supposed to be a secret."

"It is."

"Then no one should know about it," he was beginning to raise his voice.

"He's one of the, if not the, most famous wizard in the world. You don't think there is a slight possibility that someone might be watching?"

"Sirius," Dumbledore chimed in peacefully "I do not think it best for you to accompany the guard. I know you are anxious to see your godson, but I assure you when he arrives you will be the first allowed to see him." Tonks mind stopped. Sirius was Harry Potter's god father?

"I fear that I must say goodbye yet again, but Alastor will be able to take over from here and explain the procedures for the advance guard.

"Thank you Dumbledore. Now, the members of the guard will be leaving tomorrow sharply at six. You must be there by six. Those muggles won't be gone for long and we must make sure that we have Harry and are long gone before they come back. When we make our way to the Dursley's house I'll take the lead; we're going to double back a few times just to make sure that no one is following us. Once we have gotten Harry we will fly in a closed formation. Should we be attacked by anyone Harry will be surrounded by protection. If anyone is killed on the way don't stop; keep flying.

"That's what I like about Mad-Eye he's always so gentle about these types of things," Sirius whispered to Remus.

"Remus," Moody called. "When we arrive at the house you will be the first to enter. We want Harry to see someone he can recognize so he knows that it will be ok to go along with us. Well, that' all I have to say. Remember we must all be here by six; it would be wise to be sooner-Nymphadora," he added. Tonks blushed furiously. The Order already knew that she was clumsy she didn't want them thinking that there was something else wrong with her.

"Well alright," Molly chimed in turning the room's attention away from Tonks. "Dinner will be ready shortly."

After dinner most of the Order members left wanting to get a good night's rest so they would be fully alert when going to retrieve Harry. Tonks stayed for a while, she wanted to ask Molly a question.

"Mrs. Weasley," she said walking to the stove where Molly was busy with boiling water ", may I ask you a question?"

"Certainly dear," Mrs. Weasley said cheerfully giving Tonks her motherly smile.

"Well," Tonks began "I was just wondering if it would be ok if I stayed the night here. I mean I already have to come anyway and a lot of the time I'm late when I come, so I thought it would be a good idea just to stay here."

"Don't you have work in the morning dear?"

"No, well I did," Tonks stammered "but I don't anymore. Right after dinner I sent an owl to Scrimgeour to tell him that I wouldn't be in tomorrow. I have enough trouble concentrating on the days we have meetings. It would be pointless for me to go to work; I just wouldn't be able to get anything done."

"Well, I certainly don't think there's a problem with that. But this isn't my house it's Sirius', so go on and ask him. I'm sure he won't have a problem with it."

"Err ok," Tonks said ", thanks."

Tonks walked slowly out of the room and made her way into the living room; she was now the only member of the Order, besides Molly, Arthur, and Remus, who hadn't gone yet. She was hoping that she wouldn't have to. When she walked into the room she saw that Sirius and Remus were deep in conversation. She wanted to back out of the room, but it was getting late and if she was staying she wanted to go get her things.

"Err, Sirius," she said interrupting their conversation. "Sorry to interrupt, but I just had a question." He just stared at her waiting for her to ask. "Well, err, seeing how I'm just going to come back tomorrow I thought that maybe I could just stay the night here. I understand if you don't want me to, but I was just wondering."

"Sure," he said. "I don't have a problem with it, do you Remus?" Tonks wondered why Sirius was consulting Remus when Remus wasn't even staying.

"No I don't see any problem with it, and it is your home you may do whatever you like."

"Alright then," Sirius said ", sure you can stay."

"Err thanks. Well, I'm just going to go get some of my things."

Tonks quickly apparated back to her flat and grabbed everything that she thought she'd need. "Hmm, I should just change into my night clothes," she thought to herself. "It's getting late and we won't be leaving the house. I'll just bring some other clothes to change into tomorrow. It was almost nine now and Tonks wanted to get back to Grimmauld Square. She quickly grabbed a bag out of the closet in her bedroom, grabbed a ripped pair of jeans, (no surprise) a Weird Sisters T-shirt, and shoved them into her bag. As she neared the door she glanced around the flat making sure all of the lights were off as well as the stove. She had forgotten about the stove once and nearly set her flat on fire. As she was pulling the front door closed she remembered that she hadn't packed any night clothes. Quickly she pushed the door back open and dashed into her bedroom. She pulled off her normal clothes, ripped jeans and a T-shirt, and replaced them with flannel pants and another T-shirt. "Now I'm ready," she said to herself.

Almost minutes later Tonks found herself quietly or as quietly as possible for her, entering number 12 Grimmauld Place. Everyone had gone, or so Tonks thought. As she made her way to the sitting area she heard Sirius's and Remus's voices, but she also heard the voices of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley; they hadn't gone yet. She made her way into the kitchen where she found both of them sitting at the table ready to depart.

"Oh good Tonks," Mrs. Weasley said standing up and walking over ", you're back. I wanted to wait until you came until we left."

"Well, than you for waiting," Tonks said kindly. "It was very nice of you. Have a nice evening."

"You too dear."

"Good night Tonks," Mr. Weasley said as he followed Mrs. Weasley down the hall and out the door.

Tonks was a little nervous; she liked Sirius and Remus, (even thought Remus obviously thought she was annoying) but she had never been alone with them, she had always been in the company of the Order. She knew that Sirius was very nice, but she didn't know what he was like when no one was around. And Remus, well, Tonks really wasn't all the fond of him that the moment since he didn't care for her all that much.

"Suck it up Tonks," she said sternly to herself. "You need to go in there. He was nice enough to let you stay at his house, and you know he's nice to talk to, so just go in there." She took a deep breath and walked into the sitting room, her night bag slung over her shoulder. "Err, hello," Tonks said interrupting Sirius and Remus's conversation. "I'm back."

"Hello dear cousin," Sirius said playfully. "Welcome again to my humble abode. Want to join us?"

"Sure," Tonks answered quickly. She came up and stood next to Sirius, both the men were sitting in chairs and there wasn't anything for Tonks to sit on near enough for her to join in their conversation. "Well, don't just stand there," Sirius said "pull up a chair." But before Tonks could do so Remus flicked his wand and an armchair zipped across the room and landed right behind Tonks.

"Thanks," she said to Remus.

"You're welcome Nymphadora.

"It's Tonks!" She stated immediately.

"Oh I'm sorry Tonks."

The two men began their conversation once again; they were discussing Hogwarts. It took a while, but eventually Tonks inserted herself into the conversation. The hours dwindled away as the three chatted like old friends, two of them were. Finally when the clock dinged to say it was one o'clock Sirius stood up.

"Well he said," I suppose we'll be turning in. Excuse me for a minute I've got to go make sure Kreacher's put away for the evening; no telling what he'd do. Tonks thought for a moment, perhaps Kreacher was a dog. "Kreacher's my house elf," Sirius stated seeing Tonks's puzzled face. "He doesn't care for me very much, and I don't want him doing anything to anyone while they are sleeping." He walked into the kitchen.

"Well," said Remus raising himself from his chair ", I suppose I'll turn in for the evening." He began to make his way up the stairs.

"He lives here?" Tonks thought to herself. That was odd, but at least she knew why he was always the last one remaining; he never left. "So," she stated a little angrily, but just a tad ", do you still think I'm immature and annoying"

"What?" Remus said turning around to face her.

"I heard you and Sirius talking the first night I met you," she stated matter-of-factly. "He asked you what you thought of me and you said that I was annoying, and immature, and clumsy."

"Oh, yes," he said. "I was having a bad night and I shouldn't have judged you that way, but as I told Sirius that night I did not know enough about you to form an opinion. And when I did get to know you a little better I did change my opinion."

"You said all those things about me twice. You said the same thing at the last meeting." Remus looked puzzled. Tonks continued ", you said 'well she certainly is clumsy, immature and annoying."

Remus chuckled when she said this. "Nymphadora," she shot him a glare ", sorry, Tonks, you misunderstood what I said. I told Sirius that you were not immature or annoying. I'm sorry, but you are a bit clumsy."

"Oh. Well I'm sorry I misunderstood you. It's nice to know you no longer think those things of me. And it's ok, I know I'm dead clumsy."

"What are we still doing up?" Sirius said as he walked into the room. "I thought we were all turning in." Before Tonks had a chance to tell Sirius she didn't know where she would be sleeping the thought seemed to have occurred to him. "Oh right," he said "well then follow me." Tonks followed him and Remus up the decrepit looking staircase. "Well then," he said once they reached the top. "I stay in my old bedroom, Moony stays in my parents' old room god bless him, and you can sleep in one of the guest bedrooms. The first one is right there," he pointed a few feet in front of him at a door covered in cobwebs. "Excuse the appearance," he apologized ", trust me I made Kreacher clean it earlier so it should be ok. If he didn't do his job you just let me know."

"Thanks," Tonks said. "Thanks for letting me stay. Goodnight." She cautiously opened the door with a loud creak and closed it behind her. Sirius was right, the room had been cleaned quite nicely. The covers on the bed were maroon and the curtains matched. It looked very comfortable, and no sooner than Tonks jumped on it and pulled the warm covers over herself did she fall fast asleep.

Tonks awoke the next morning and nearly fell off the bed when she realized it was ten. She was half way through violently throwing on her clothes when she realized she took the day off. She breathed a sigh of relief as she finished putting on her clothes and combing her hair, today she decided it was going to have some purple mixed in.

Quietly she made her way down the stairs, she wasn't sure if anyone was awake yet. When she arrived in the kitchen she was met be Remus who was near the stove pouring tea.

"Good morning," she said in a cheery tone, she felt bad about her misunderstanding.

"Good morning, Nym….Tonks" he said as he turned around with a hot cup of tea in his hand. "Would you care for some tea?"

"Sure," Tonks said. "Is Sirius still sleeping?"

"Yes, normally he's awake by now, but he's anxious about Harry and he couldn't get to sleep last night. I could still hear him pacing in his room at three in the morning when I came to get a glass of water."

"Oh," Tonks said excepting the cup of tea from Remus ", thank you."

Tonks couldn't believe it! It was nearly six and the members of the advanced guard were all arriving at Grimmauld Place.

"Alright," Moody began as he ushered the members of the guard into the hall way. Is everyone prepared? Brooms? Cloaks?"

"Oh!" Tonks shouted "I left my traveling cloak up in my room." Moody gave her a very stern and annoyed look. "It'll only take a moment "she reassured him. She took off running up the stairs. Quickly she flung the bedroom door open and pulled the cloak off her bed. Before leaving she stopped and glanced at herself in front of the mirror on the vanity; her hair was deep purple, she figured she try something new.

Before Tonks knew it the guard, Moody in the lead, was standing right outside the Dursley's house.

"Are we ready?" Moody growled ", we must move quickly, but we cannot leave before the signal. The rest nodded in reply. They cautiously made their way inside the Dursley's home.

**Author's Note: The following Text is taken directly from J.K. Rowling's novel Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The text is taken from Chapter Three- The Advance Guard and can be found on pages 46-53. The book is copyrighted 2003 by scholastic press. (The text is not taken word for word)**

**This is in no way shape or form attempts on plagiarism.**

"Lower your wand boy before you take someone's eye out," growled Moody.

"Professor Moody?" Harry said uncertainly.

"I don't know much about 'Professor'", growled Moody, "never got around to much teaching, did I? Get down here; we want to see you properly."

Harry lowered his wand slightly, but did not relax his grip on it, nor did he move. But before he could make a decision about what to do next Remus spoke up.

"It's all right Harry. We've come to take you away." Harry knew that voice.

"P-Professor Lupin?" he said disbelievingly. "Is that you?" Suddenly a thought occurred to Tonks, "Why are we all standing in the dark?" She said. "Lumos." Tonks's wand tip flared, illuminating the hall with magical light. Harry blinked. Remus was smiling broadly at Harry.

"Oooh, he looks just like I thought he would," Tonks said. "Wotcher Harry!"

"Yeah, I see what you mean Remus," said Kingsley. "He looks exactly like James."

"Are you quite sure it's him Remus?" Moody growled. Tonks rolled her eyes, why couldn't Moody loosen up a bit. "It'd be a nice lookout if we bring back some Death Eater impersonating him. We ought to ask him something only the real Potter would know. Unless anyone bought any Veritaserum?"

"Harry, what form does your patronus take?" said Remus.

"A stag," said Harry nervously.

"That's him, Mad-Eye," said Remus.

Harry descended the stairs, very conscious of everybody still staring at him, stowing his wand into the back pocket of his jeans as he came.

"Don't put your wand there boy!" roared Moody. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"

"Who d'you know who's lost a buttock?" Tonks asked interestedly.

"Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!" growled Moody. "Elementary wand safety, nobody bothers about it anymore…." He stumped off toward the kitchen. "And I saw that," he added irritably as Tonks rolled her eyes towards the ceiling.

Lupin held out his hand and shook Harry's.

"How are you?" He asked looking at Harry closely.

"F-fine… I'm-you're really lucky the Dursley's are out…" he mumbled.

"Lucky, ha!" said Tonks. "It was me that lured them out of the way. Sent them a letter by Muggle post telling them that they'd been short listed for the All-England Best-Kept Suburban Lawn Competition. They're heading off to the prize-giving right now….Or they think they are."

"We are leaving aren't we?" he asked. "Soon?"

"Almost at once," said Lupin "we're just waiting for the all-clear."

"Where are we going? The Burrow?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Not the Burrow, no," said Lupin, motioning Harry toward the kitchen. "Too risky. We've set up headquarters somewhere undetectable. It's taken a while…"

"This is Alastor Moody, Harry," Lupin continued, pointing toward Moody.

"Yeah I know," said Harry uncomfortably.

"And this is Nymphadora-"

"Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus," said Tonks with a shudder. "It's Tonks."

"-Nymphadora Tonks, who prefers to be known by her surname only," Lupin finished.

"So would you if your fool of a mother had called you 'Nymphadora'," muttered Tonks.

"And this is Kingsley Shaklebolt, Elphias Doge, Dedalus Diggle,"

"We've met before," squeaked Diggle, dropping his top hat.

"-Emmaline Vance, Sturgis Podmore, and Hestia Jones. A surprising number of people volunteered to come and get you," said Lupin.

"Yeah, well, the more the better," said Moody darkly. "We're your guard Potter.

"We're just waiting for the signal to tell us it's safe to set off," said Lupin glancing out the window ", we've got about fifteen minutes."

"Very clean aren't _they_, these muggles?" said Tonks looking around the kitchen. "My dad's a muggle born and he's a right old slob. I suppose it varies, just like with wizards?"

"Er-yeah," said Harry. "Look"-he turned back to Remus- "what's going on, I haven't heard anything from anyone, what's vol-?"

Moody growled, "Shut up!"

"What?" said Harry.

"We're not discussing anything here, it's too risky," said Moody turning his normal eye on Harry; his magical eye remained pointing up at the ceiling. "Damn it!," he added angrily, putting a hand up to his magical eye, "it keeps sticking- ever since that scum wore it-" And with a nasty squelching sound much like a plunger being pulled from a sink, he popped out his eye.

"Mad-Eye, you do know that's disgusting, don't you?" said Tonks conversationally.

"Get me a glass of water, would you Harry?" said Moody. "Cheers," he said when Harry handed him the glass. He dropped the magical eyeball into the water. "I want three-hundred-and-sixty degrees visibility on the return journey."

"How're we getting-wherever we're going?" Harry asked.

"Brooms," said Remus. "Only way. You're too young to Apparate, they'll be watching the Floo Network, and it's more than our life's worth to set up an unauthorized Portkey."

"Remus says you're a good flier," said Kinsley in his deep voice.

"He's excellent," said Remus who was checking his watch. "Anyway, you'd better go and get packed, Harry, we want to be ready to go when the signal comes."

"I'll come and help you," said Tonks brightly. She followed Harry into the hall and up the stairs, looking around with much curiosity and interest. "Funny place," she said, "it's a bit _too_ clean, d'you know what I mean? Bit unnatural. Oh, this is better," she added as they entered Harry's bedroom and turned on the light. Tonks paused at Harry's open wardrobe to look critically at her reflection in the mirror on the inside of the door. "You know, I don't think purple's really my color," she said pensively tugging at a lock of purple hair. "D'you think it makes me look a bit peaky?"

"Er," said Harry.

"Yes it does," said Tonks decisively. She screwed up her eyes and her hair changed to pink.

"How did you do that?" Harry said, gaping at her as she opened her eyes again.

"I'm a metamorphmagus," she said looking at her reflection turning her head so she could see her hair from all directions. "It means I change my appearance at will. I was born one. I got top marks in Concealment and Disguise during Auror training without any study at all, it was great."

"You're an auror?" said Harry impressed.

"Yeah," said Tonks, looking proud. "Kingsley is as well; he's a bit higher up than I am, though. I only qualified a year ago. Nearly failed on stealth and tracking; I'm dead clumsy, did you hear me break that plate downstairs?"

"Can you learn to be a Metamorphmagus?" Harry asked

Tonks chuckled, "bet you wouldn't mind hiding that scar sometimes, eh?'

"No, I wouldn't mind," said Harry turning away.

"Well you'll have to learn the hard way, I'm afraid," said Tonks.

"Metamorphagi are really rare, they're born, not made. Most wizards need to use a wand or potion to change their appearance… but we've got to get going, Harry, we're supposed to be packing," she added guiltily.

"Oh-yeah," said Harry grabbing a few more books.

"Don't be stupid, it'll be much quicker if I-pack," Tonks cried waving her wand. "It's not very neat," Tonks said staring at the jumble inside. "My mum's got a knack of getting stuff to fit itself in neatly-she even gets socks to fold themselves-but I've never mastered how she does it-it's kind of flick-" she flicked her wand hopefully; one of Harry's socks gave a feeble sort of wiggle and flopped back on top the mess within. "Ah well," said Tonks, "and that could use with a bit of cleaning too. Scourgify!" She pointed her wand at Hedwig's cage. "Well, that's a bit better-I've never quite got the hang of these sort of householdy spells. Right, got everything? Cauldron? Broom? Wow! A _Firebolt!_ And I'm still riding a Comet Two Sixty," said Tonks enviously. "Ah well…wand still in your jeans. Both buttocks still on? Okay let's go. _Locomotor trunk!"_

So Tonks and Harry met the other Order members at the bottom of the stairs and then, after Moody cast a Disillusionment Charm on Harry, they set off into the night.

Hey, ok that's it. I'm so that it was sooo Long. I know it took long. It's three in the morning and I've just finished. I was on vacation for a week with no internet for the week. The next chapter will be shorter, I really promise this time. Please Please review it really gets me going! 'Til next time! Cheers!


	6. The Department of Mysteries

Ok, so let's get going with my apologies. First of all, I am so sorry that it took me so long to update this last chapter. I had half of it done and tried to get it finished before I went on vacation, but I couldn't. I did stay up until three o'clock in the morning on Saturday writing it though. I just updated because it was saved on my laptop and I needed to put the internet back in it. Secondly, I am sorry that the last chapter was so long. It was not my intention to make it that long.

Now that I am done with apologies I am making a promise. I am going to write like the wind and finish this chapter as quickly as I possibly can. I am hoping to finish by tomorrow(ok so it took me an extra day) Please, please review this chapter. I am so much more driven to write when I know that people are reading. It only takes a moment and it means so much.

Lastly I would like to thank my readers. I am extremely grateful that you all have stuck with the story and continue to read even though sometimes it takes me ages to update. I would also like to give a very special and heartfelt thanks to my reviewers. You reviews mean everything to me. They really let me know how you feel about my story and I am so thankful that you have taken the time to review!

Note about the story: At this point I believe there will be about two more generic chapters, and then the story will become more about Tonks and Remus. This chapter is split into two parts I just have to Harry off to Hogwarts first. : Sorry about all the notes. Oh and I noticed as I was looking in the book that Tonks calls Moody Mad-Eye, so I will be changing that in future chapters.

P.S. I know that the layout of the house is not exactly what it is in canon, but I am too far in to change it now. I know some of the times might be off, but I'm doing the best I can. Thanks!

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling wrote this.

**Chapter Six**

**Part One**

**The Department of Mysteries**

Finally, after what felt like hours the frozen guard and Harry touched ground in Grimmauld Square and lifted themselves off of their brooms. Almost immediately Moody pulled out the putter-outer that Dumbledore had lent him and quickly stole the lights from the posts of the neighborhood. He then rummaged in the pockets of his cloak to find a torn piece of parchment. After finding it he handed it to Harry. Tonks watched Harry amusedly; he bore the same look of confusion that she had when Moody had given her the parchment. As soon as Moody took the piece of paper from Harry the houses began to separate. By now Tonks was used to this, but she quite enjoyed watching Harry's amazed face as number 12 appeared before their eyes.

"Quickly!" Moody barked to the group. Tonks and Remus brought up the rear carrying Harry's trunk and Hedwig's cage in between them.

"Oh God," she said as she felt her knees bending and then hitting the stone cold step, the trunk toppling over. Hedwig began to screech as her cage hit the pavement. "Damn it," she muttered to herself attempting to get up.

"Are you alright Nymph…Tonks?" Remus asked as he bent down in front of her.

"Err, Yes I'm fine," said Tonks lifting her face to look at his. He was young, but his face was prematurely lined. Now looking at him she could really see the deep cuts across his face. He had a particularly deep one just at the base of his neck. "I'm dead clumsy."

"Not to be rude, but I have noticed," he said smiling. He had a nice smile; it was warm and inviting. He rose from his stooping position and then offered his hand to Tonks. She gratefully accepted blushing; that was the third time she made a fool of herself.

"For God's sakes Tonks," Moody growled, he was still standing waiting for them by the door.

"Sorry," Tonks mumbled as she gripped the trunk once again, grabbed the cage, and proceeded to carry them through the front door. When she walked in the hall and set both things down she saw a sight that almost brought tears to her eyes. It was Sirius and Harry. They were embracing like father and son. Sirius looked so happy, happier than Tonks had ever seen him.

"How you Harry?" Sirius asked, some of the happiness leaving his face.

"I'm ok," Harry said. "How are you?"

"As best as I can be unfortunately."

"Oh Harry Dear!" Mrs. Weasley gushed rushing into the hall. "Oh Harry how are you? You look very thin." Tonks smiled. It was just like Molly to fuss over someone's weight. "Now everyone, the meetings already started so…"

"What meeting?" Tonks interrupted. "The meeting's not until Thursday."

"No one told you dear?" Mrs. Weasley said still fussing over Harry. "The meeting's has been rescheduled to today. Mad-Eye alerted everyone last evening."

"Well he didn't alert me," Tonks stated.

"Well, it's alright because you're here now," Remus said smiling and walking off toward the kitchen. Tonks quickly followed.

A few minutes after entering the kitchen Tonks noticed that she was still wearing her traveling cloak. She quietly excused herself and proceeded upstairs to put it away in her room; she also wanted to put on a warmer shirt; it was rather cold in the damp gloomy old house. On her way back down the stairs Tonks discovered Ginny looming by the staircase near the kitchen.

"Wotcher Ginny," Tonks said brightly.

"Oh, oh Tonks you startled me," Ginny said.

"What are you doing?"

Ginny offered just a weak smile. "Just trying to find out if mum's put an Im…"

"An Imperturbable charm," Tonks finished. "Just chuck some stuff at the door. If they don't make contact then it's been charmed." She began to make her way passed Ginny and toward the bottom of the staircase.

"Err thanks," Ginny said gratefully. Tonks turned her head and winked with a smile.

Tonks walked into the middle of a rather serious discussion about the Department of Mysteries.

"Tonks!" Moody barked. "Where have you been?"

"Just putting away my cloak and changing my shirt, I was chilly."

"You missed a good portion of the meeting," he growled and then resumed speaking.

"Sorry," muttered Tonks angrily. Would he never stop embarrassing her in front of anyone?

"Tonks," Moody growled.

"Yes," Tonks said spitefully.

"You're on guard duty tonight."

"Alright."

Later that evening Tonks found herself bidding everyone goodbye, it was her turn to be on guard duty. She didn't mind, she was actually very glad that she was entrusted with the job. She just wished that someone would have told her about it before so she could have rested herself.

Arriving at the ministry of magic this late was rather eerie. Not a lot of employees stuck around this late, the corridors seemed almost deserted. To make matters worse Tonks had to stay in one of the creepiest areas of the whole Ministry building. The floor which held the department of Mysteries was dark and cold. Once arriving at her post Tonks found Kinsley waiting to switch.

"Wotcher Kingsley,' Tonks said.

"Hello Tonks," Kingsley said in his deep voice.

"Ready to leave?"

"Yes, I need some sleep. See you tomorrow."

Tonks stood there alone. She conjured a chair for herself, settled in a corner and then began filling out some over due paperwork. Hours and hours began to pass and Tonks was becoming drowsier with each passing minute. Her eyes began to droop; she was fighting a losing battle.

"Morning Tonks," Arthur Weasley said cheerily. "How'd duty go?"

"Oh just fine," Tonks said rubbing her eyes and gathering up her things. "Well, I'm going to go try and grab a cup of hot chocolate before I have to go to the office," she began to make her way through the dimly lit corridor to the lift at the end.

Many hours later Tonks found herself once again traveling down the dark creepy hallway leading to the Department of Mysteries; she had guard duty for the entire week.

"This is horrible," Tonks complained to herself. "I've worked all day and now I'm stuck here." Almost exactly as that thought came to mind Tonks felt a pang of guilt. She really shouldn't be complaining; she thought of Arthur Weasley. Arthur Weasley worked for the ministry, all day almost everyday, he worked in the Order, was a husband, a father of seven meaning that he had a huge number of people to support, and still came to guard duty every time without complaining, Tonks didn't have half that weight on her shoulders and she still managed to complain; that thought kept her awake the entire time.

It was Friday afternoon, August 12th, and Tonks could barely keep her eyes open. She tried desperately to stop them from shutting every few seconds, but it wasn't working. She was very glad that she had decided to take the second half of the day off. She was anxious to get to Grimmauld place and eat something that Molly had cooked. She was sure the site of the food alone would be enough to wake her; she hadn't had a proper meal for days; she'd been on duty for the entire week.

At the second her shift ended Tonks raised herself from her chair and proceeded outside of the ministry to apparate to Grimmauld Square. She had heard the outcome of Harry's trial and was pleased to hear it was in his favor. She frowned to herself as she reached an alley way; a safe place to apparate. Tonks knew that she had to concentrate to apparate; if she didn't she might end up splinching herself. She jerked her eyes wide opened and concentrated hard on the food she was going to be eating as soon as she arrived at Grimmauld Place. Within seconds she found herself standing in the middle of Grimmauld Square and quickly made her way into the old and now seeming incredibly welcoming, house.

When Tonks arrived she realized that there was party of some sorts going on. After making her way to the kitchen she realized it was for Ron and Hermione, new Hogwarts prefects. Walking in and seeing that a toast was about to be made she quickly grabbed a glass and stood around the kitchen next to Sirius.

**Contains direct text from 169-170 in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix chapter 9 The Woes of Mrs. Weasley. The passage is in bold brackets**

"Well I think a toast is in Order," said Mr. Weasley after everyone had had a drink. He raised his goblet. "To Ron and Hermione, the new Gryffindor prefects!" Ron and Hermione beamed as everyone drank to them and then applauded.

"I was never a prefect myself," said Tonks from behind Harry as everybody toward the table to help themselves to food. Her hair was tomato-red and waist length hair today; she looked Ginny's older sister. "My head of house said I lacked certain necessary qualities."

"Like what?" said Ginny who was choosing a baked potato.

"Like the ability to behave myself," said Tonks. Ginny laughed; Hermione looked as though she did not know whether to smile or not and compromised by taking an extra large gulp of butterbeer and choking on it.

"What about you Sirius?" Ginny asked, thumping Hermione on the back. Sirius, who was right beside Harry, let out his usual bark-like laugh.

"No one would have made me prefect, I spent too much time in detention with James. Lupin was the good boy, he got the badge."

"I think Dumbledore might have hoped that I would be able to exercise some control over my best friends," said Remus. "I need scarcely say that I failed dismally."

After happily eating and talking for a while Tonks made her way to the living room and thankfully found a seat on the couch next to Remus.

"Uggh," she sighed dropping her head on the back of the couch ", I'm going to have to tell Mad-Eye that I can't be on duty tonight," she yawned. "I'm t-t-too –t-ired," she tried to stifle her yawn, but was unsuccessful. "I w-w-on't be any good."

"I'll go," Arthur Weasley chimed in. "I've got a big report to finish anyhow."

"Oh thank you Arthur," Tonks gushed. "You're a lifesaver!"

The morning of September 1st was the most hectic Tonks had in a good while. She had gotten up early in the morning and took careful precautions on dressing herself. She changed her hair from its normal spiky pink to tightly curled gray. She gave herself a once over in the mirror and decided she was pleased with herself and set off for Grimmauld Square.

After waiting for quite sometime Tonks soon saw Molly followed by her children, Harry, and Hermione making their way over toward her. She saw the puzzled look on Harry's face.

"Wotcher Harry," she said with a wink.

Ok so that's it. Next chapter I think it's time for Tonks to learn why Sirius calls Lupin Moony. We'll see how she takes it, and ever more importantly how he takes it when she accidentally discovers it.

Ok so please review! Hope you enjoyed! : I think this may well be the first time I've finished something on time. I'm rather proud of myself! :


	7. A New Light

Okie dokie, here we go. I am so truly and deeply sorry that it has taken me so long to write. School has been crazy; the first two weeks I literally didn't have a spare minute. I know it's been over a month, and I'm terribly sorry. This chapter's really long, but it's an important chapter. I hope you enjoy! Please review I worked very hard on this one.

Disclaimer: J.K. wrote this.

**Chapter Seven**

**A New Light**

After all the chaos and confusion of transporting the kids to Kings Cross Tonks found herself once again standing the front hallway of the ever shabby and dim looking Grimmauld Place. Next to her stood Remus, looking a tad shabbier than usual and next to him sat a shaggy black dog. That shaggy black dog just happened to be Sirius and as Remus made his way up the hall Sirius followed at his heels and transformed back into a human. Tonks followed them up the hall, but rather than entering the kitchen she continued to walk and made her way up the rickety staircase to one of the spare bedrooms. As she entered the bedroom that she had stayed in the night before they retrieved Harry she made her way over to the large vanity. She jumped a little as she looked at her reflection in the mirror; she forgot that she was dressed as an elderly woman; her hair was gray. Quickly, she screwed up her face in the same expression as she always did and transformed her tight curled gray hair into long flowing blue. As she double checked her reflection in the mirror she pulled a top out of the bag she had left there from a few weeks before.

When Tonks made her way back down the stairs she found Remus making a pot of tea and Sirius, looking rather sullen, sitting at the kitchen table. As Tonks walked in Sirius didn't even look up.

"Padfoot you did the right thing," Remus began ", oh hello Nym…Tonks. I didn't hear you come in. Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Er, yes, thank you," Tonks said taking a seat across from Sirius. He looked very sad; that's the only word Tonks could think of to fit Sirius-sad. He looked thinner, his face looked paler, and his eyes looked more sunken in.

"He must hate it here," Tonks thought to herself. She allowed her eyes to survey the kitchen. It was a dreary looking place; the whole house was that way. It must be horrible to live here at all, and he has to stay here himself; it must be very depressing.

"Here you are," Remus snapped Tonks out of her thoughts as he set a hot cup or tea in front of her. "Padfoot," he said placing a cup in front of Sirius.

For a few minutes no one spoke. They all silently and sipped their hot tea.

"You know what I don't understand," Sirius said suddenly. "I'm his godfather, his godfather. I should have some say in what happens to him. Do I? No. Molly thinks it's her job and she's got all the rights. She has no right to tell him what to do. James left me to take care of him, not her. I should have taken him fifteen years ago like I was going to. I shouldn't have let Hagrid take him.

"Padfoot," Remus began ", you don't mean that. We all know Harry's life has been hard, but every decision made has been for his benefit. Molly just cares about him. She just wants to look out for him.

"She's got her own children to look out for. Harry's my responsibility."

"I know Padfoot. James left him in your care, but Dumbledore knew he would be safer with his aunt and uncle. You know he's been safe there."

"Yeah, well, what would you call what happened two months ago with the dementors?"

"The times are getting more dangerous now. We all knew it was coming. I know you're upset, but don't pretend that you think he could have been any safer with you."

"You know what else?" Sirius continued ," this house. I have to stay in this house all day, every day. You all get to be out there working for the Order while sit in here and do nothing."

"Well, Sirius," Tonks chimed in timidly ", it's not like we're out fighting death eaters every day. All I do is paperwork, all day."

"I know Tonks, but you get to leave the house. You can leave without worrying that someone will catch you. If you wanted to you could write to Harry and use your real name."

"I know it must be horrible, Sirius," Tonks said.

"I don't know why I listened. It's not like anyone would know if I left. No one would catch me."

"Don't you dare leave this house," Remus said assertively. "You can't get caught. You need to be here."

"For what?"

"For Harry. You may not be able to write using your own name, but at least he is still able to talk to you. Times are getting harder and more dangerous, he needs you; now more than ever. You are the closest thing he has to a father. If you go out and get caught you know Harry will find some way to blame himself. He'll be miserable without you."

"I know, I know," Sirius said. He seemed a little better. Maybe he just needed someone to remind him how much Harry really did need him.

"Well," Tonks said finishing up her tea. "I guess I'll be off then. I'm dead tired; I want to get some sleep."

The next day Tonks trudged back to the office. She could hardly take the boring atmosphere of work, and what made it worse was the pouring rain outside; Tonks couldn't even get distracted by the beauty of the day. Around noon Tonks could no longer concentrate on her work so she decided she would go out for lunch.

After she had enjoyed a rather delicious grilled cheese sandwich Tonks made her way back through the ministry. She couldn't wait until her shift ended. There was no Order meeting to look forward to, but she was looking forward to having a nice quiet evening at home. For once she was actually on schedule with the paperwork. As she began to stare aimlessly out the window; watching the rain roll down, something hit her shoulder. She turned around to find a small piece of parchment laying on her desk- an interdepartmental memo. She quickly opened it and spread it out onto her lap.

_Tonks-meeting tomorrow at seven-thirty._

Quickly Tonks crumpled the paper again and placed it in her back pocket; she wasn't taking any chances with fire again. A few hours later Tonks gathered up her things and made her way out of the office.

Late that evening Tonks sat down on her couch with a warm cup of hot chocolate and a stack of papers, she was intent on keeping the pace. However, not long after finishing her hot cocoa Tonks lay her head on the back of the sofa and fell asleep.

Tonks groggily awoke in the very early hours of the morning. She rubbed her eyes as she stumbled into the kitchen to check the time.

"Three-thirty," she said very confused with herself. "I guess I fell asleep on the sofa." Half asleep she groggily walked into her bedroom. She grabbed the pink fuzzy blanket off the end of her bed and walked back into the living room. She lowered herself onto the sofa, tossed the blanket over herself and fell back asleep within seconds. What possessed her to go back into the living room after waking up was beyond her, but she did sleep very well.

The next day went by fairly quickly, which most definitely was a surprise. Tonks just kept her mind on the meeting that day, and the fact that she had taken off for the rest of the week.

"Maybe I'll ask Sirius if I can stay with him," she thought to herself.

That night Tonks arrived at Grimmauld Place at seven; the earliest she had ever gotten to a meeting. She decided to take advantage of the lack of people and go over and ask Sirius if she could stay with him for the rest of the week.

"Hey Sirius!" she called as she made her way through the damp house. "Sirius!"

"I'm right here," he called from the kitchen. Tonks quickly made her way into the kitchen to find Sirius sitting at the kitchen table.

"Wotcher," she said sliding into a chair next to him.

"Hey Tonks. What brings you here so early? Normally you come stumbling in at the last minute."

"Hey," Tonks said offended ", I'm getting better about that. Anyway, I just wanted to ask you if I could stay the week here, well the rest of the week."

"Yeah sure, I'll appreciate the company."

"Well, er, thank you. I'll er just go get my things then."

"See you in a bit."

Twenty minutes later Tonks found herself sitting around the kitchen with the rest of the Order. Mad-Eye was talking animatedly to Kingsley in the corner, Sirius was speaking in hushed tones with Arthur across the room, and Molly was, as always, standing over the stove. As soon as the front door creaked open the entire room silenced.

"Good evening everyone," Dumbledore said kindly as he took his seat at the head of the table. "As you may have guessed our meetings will be forced to become more scattered now that school has begun yet again. I know Minerva and Severus will not be able to join us for the greater portion of our meetings, however; rest assured I will keep them informed. Before we press on further into our discussion I would like to thank all of you for your continued patience with me and my conflicting schedules. I know that it will only become more bothersome because school has begun, but I promise that I will strive to keep our meetings as routine and timely as possible.

The meeting went on for almost an hour. First, Dumbledore talked about the prophecy in the Department of Mysteries. Then Kingsley spoke about an encounter he had witnessed between Lucius Malfoy and an unspeakable near the Department of Mysteries. After that Moody spoke about safety procedures, and "constant vigilance". The evening ended with Dumbledore assigning everyone to their upcoming shifts.

Once the meeting was over Molly found her way to her post over the stove and began serving dinner; as usual it was delicious. Tonks had a difficult time keeping up with the conversation over dinner. She wanted everyone to leave so she and Sirius and Remus could talk. They had talked last time for hours; it was like they were old friends.

Finally, Molly and Arthur were bidding Tonks and Sirius goodbye. After the door creaked shut behind them, a sudden thought struck Tonks.

"Where's Remus?" She thought. He had not been there the entire time. She remembered noticing his absence when she first arrived, but afterward she just forgot that he wasn't there. "I wonder where he is. Is he out doing something for the Order? He is back at his own flat? Is he…"

"Tonks," Sirius called to her from the kitchen. "Do you want some tea?"

"Er sure," Tonks yelled back taking a seat on the sofa. As she sat on the old lumpy, yet elegant couch she allowed her eyes to survey the room. It had a certain emptiness that Tonks felt was always present no matter how many people were inside. The furniture was old and dusty, but elegant; Sirius's mother had good taste is furnishings.

"Well," Sirius said as he came walking into the living room with a cup of tea in each hand ", I don't make it as well as Remus does, but it'll have to do."

"It's fine," Tonks reassured him. "Thank you."

For a few moments Tonks and Sirius said nothing, they just sipped their tea.

"So how's life?" Tonks asked. She didn't know what else to ask. He didn't have a job and he couldn't leave the house; those factors restricted her from using a range of topics.

"It's alright I suppose. Kreacher's been missing for a few days; maybe he's dead; that would be a pleasant surprise."

"Sirius!" Tonks gasped. "You shouldn't say such things."

"Oh c'mon Tonks you met him. I can't stand that stupid elf."

"Oh I know, but you shouldn't wish him death."

"Why not? He wishes it on himself. He'd be grateful. So, how is work going?"

"Oh it's slow and boring; same old same old. I just sit at my desk all day. I can't even really talk to Kingsley, because we not "supposed" to know each other all that well. Have you written to Harry?"

"No. I don't have an owl. I'm going to wait for him to write to me; if he writes to me."

"I'm sure he will. Remus was right. You are the closet thing Harry has to a father; I know he looks up to you. Even though he hasn't known you that long, he still loves you very much, and you're still very good to him. I mean, you're not even blood related to him and you still offered for him to come live with you. Neither of my aunts would let me in there house if I was starving and homeless on the street."

"Well, you are right about Bellatrix and Narcissa, but I haven't been that great of a role model for Harry. What have I really done? I can't be there for him. I can't go anywhere with him. I can't even write to him using my own name. Remus just wants to make me feel better; he knows I can't do anything."

"No, Remus is right," Tonks insisted. "He knows that you're a great role model for Harry. He just doesn't want you to do anything stupid that would put you in danger. You are each other's best friends." A few minutes of silence passed again. "Speaking of Remus where is he tonight?"

"Well," Sirius said ", taking his last sip to tea. I'm tired so I'm off to bed. I'll see you in the morning Tonks."

"Goodnight Sirius."

For a few minutes Tonks sat on the couch and sipped the rest of her tea wondering why Sirius didn't tell her where Remus was. After she placed her empty tea cup in the sink she made her way upstairs to her bedroom. Just as she opened the door Sirius peeked his head outside of his bedroom door.

"I found Kreacher. He wasn't dead-shame. He was cowering in a cupboard somewhere. I just wanted to let you know to not worry about him bothering you tonight. I ordered him to stay away from you."

"Oh, well thank you. Goodnight."

The next morning Tonks awoke bright and early, much to her dismay. "It's my day off," she mentally yelled to herself ", and I can't even keep myself asleep passed eight." Tonks really didn't understand it. For some reason whenever Tonks had the day off she had a horrible time staying asleep late, but whenever she had work she always had problems waking up. Tonks slammed her eyes shut and pulled the warm burgundy covers around her.

She awoke and fluttered her eyes sleepily; it was nine-thirty.

"Well, at least it's better than eight," she said to herself climbing out of bed. She dressed herself and sat down at the vanity. She decided that today her hair would be brown with tainted purple. She thought it made her look peaky, but it just felt like a purple day. After giving herself a couple checks in the mirror she headed down stairs.

As she made her way down the stairs she spotted Remus sitting on the sofa reading. Sirius was probably still sleeping.

"Good morning," Tonks said cheerily.

"Oh, good morning Nym…Tonks," he said closing his book. There is some toast on the table and some water on the stove for tea."

"Oh thank you, you didn't have to do that."

"It's fine. I figured you'd be up soon, I know Sirius won't be for awhile. He had a rather sleepless night."

"Oh, er well, I wouldn't know. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow."

"I could hear him pacing in his room." He opened his book again and began reading.

Tonks walked into the kitchen and buttered some toast for herself. The tea kettle began to wail as soon as she sat down. Tonks quickly got up and grabbed a mug from the cupboard. She wasn't too keen on drinking out of anything in that house that hadn't been washed first, but she didn't have a choice that stupid kettle would not stop wailing.

"OW!" She screamed as the boiling water dumped over her hands. She had tried to hold the mug in one hand while pouring the tea with the other, and her clumsiness got the better of her. She tripped on a crack in the tile and poured the tea straight onto her hands.

"Nymphadora, are you ok?" Remus said as he came rushing.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I er, I just spilled a bit of tea." Remus eyed the wet floor around Tonks's feet.

"Oh I see, well go run your hands under some cold water." With a flick of his wand the water evaporated. "Reparo," he said and the broken mug was fixed. Tonks sat down on a chair and began to eat her toast; she would just drink milk from now on. That was the third time she had embarrassed herself in front of an Order member.

"Here you are," Remus said a little while longer. He handed her the mug of hot tea. "I took the liberty of pouring it for you."

"Thank you," Tonks blushed.

Tonks hadn't fully recovered from the incident of the morning. After breakfast she went up stairs to her room and stayed there for most of the time. Around four or so she ventured downstairs when she heard Molly come through the door.

"What brings you here Molly?" Tonks asked.

"Well, I just thought I'd stop by and make sure everything was alright here. I made chicken and potatoes for dinner and I had some extra so I thought I'd bring it over."

"Oh thank you Molly, that was very nice of you. I really appreciate it. It looks delicious. I don't know where Sirius and Remus have gone, but I'm sure they'll be happy to get some good food. Would you like to stay for awhile?"

"Oh no thank you Deary. I told Arthur I'd only be a little while, I don't want him to worry."

"Alright then, thanks again!"

Around five Tonks decided that she could no longer wait to eat. She was starving; she'd skipped lunch in order to avoid further embarrassment. Just as she was about to call for Sirius he came walking down the staircase in the living room.

"Where's Remus?" Tonks asked as she handed Sirius his helping of potatoes.

"Out," Sirius answered.

"Oh, well, should I save him some or is he eating wherever he is?"

"Save him some."

After dinner Tonks successfully made herself a cup of tea, Sirius retired to his room. Tea wasn't Tonks drink of choice, but Sirius didn't have any cocoa mix, and she was becoming rather fond of tea. While the steaming cup cooled she retrieved her paperwork from her room and set down on the old lumpy sofa to fill it out.

After awhile Tonks made herself another cup of tea. She knew all the caffeine was probably not good for her.

"Oh well," she thought as she poured steaming water into her mug "at least I'll sleep later tomorrow."

Around eight or so Tonks was still sipping her tea as she finished her last piece of paperwork; she was rather excited. She had never finished her paperwork before it was due. She looked around the gloomy room and was overcome with loneliness. The house was so empty and dark; she didn't know how Sirius stood living in a place like that. As her eyes were surveying the room she realized that Remus had left his book on the coffee table. Eager to stretch her legs Tonks decided she would return it to his room.

Tonks began to knock on his bedroom door before she remembered that Remus was out for the evening. She pushed open the door and cautiously made her way in. The room was cold except for the emerald comforter; Slytherin's color; the room used to belong to Sirius's parents. She hadn't even made it passed the threshold when she discovered she wasn't alone. There, underneath the desk by the window was huge horrid looking dog; it was a werewolf!

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!" Tonks screamed dropping her teacup on the floor as she fumbled for her wand in her back pocket. She lifted it, ready to attack. Werewolves were foul evil creatures; Tonks was scared to death.

She raised her wand and opened her mouth to cast, but it wasn't her voice the filled the room.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" Sirius shouted bursting into the room. Tonks wand flew into his hand. "Reparo!" The shattered teacup was in one piece again. "I'm sorry," he said, but he wasn't speaking to Tonks. "C'mon Tonks!" But she wouldn't move. "C'mon Tonks move!" He shouted.

"What… What the… what the hell is that? What is that doing in here?"

"C'mon!" He seized her wrist and yanked her back into the hallway slamming the door shut.

"Sirius what are you doing? Don't you know what that was? That was a werewolf! They're on HIS side! What was one doing in this house?"

"Tonks be quiet!" Sirius exclaimed as he pushed her into her bedroom slamming the door behind him.

"No, I will not be quiet…"

"If you don't shut up I'll force you!" He said raising his wand straight at her face. Tonks shut her mouth. "Tonks, I'm going to tell you something now, but you have to promise to listen and not to interrupt me." At first Tonks didn't answer she just stared at Sirius hard in the face. He stared back.

"Fine," she muttered.

"Well, first off that werewolf in there, that was Remus."

"Oh Sirius, come off it. I may be clumsy, but I'm not stupid. That was no animagus that was a real werewolf."

"I know, and I told you not to interrupt me, now listen! Do you know who the werewolf Fenir Greyback is?"

"Yes, he's that horrible werewolf who attacks children. Is that him in there? Did we take him hostage? What if he would have gotten out because of me!"

"Tonks, I swear if you say one more thing I will hex your mouth shut!"

"A long time ago Remus's father offended Greyback. To get revenge Greyback attacked Remus when he was a little boy." Tonks eyes literally widened she was so stunned. "At that point Remus had no future. No school would accept him with that condition, and he couldn't keep it a secret because he wasn't able to control it and he couldn't risk the safety of the other students."

"But I thought you said he went to school with you?"

"Tonks!" He scolded. "I swear one more time!"

"Well, thanks to Dumbledore Remus did have a chance. Dumbledore saw no reason that Remus couldn't attend school as long as he was kept away from the other children during the time he was transformed. When he came to Hogwarts and met Peter, James and, me he didn't tell us. But eventually we figured it out, some time in second year. We always wondered where he went for those few days out of the month; he always had some excuse. One night we decided to follow him. Every time he transformed Madam Pomfrey would take him down to the Womping Willow. It had just been planted the year we began school, but what we didn't know was they had planted it because of Remus. Behind the tree there was a passageway to the shrieking shack. When Remus transformed he would use the passage to go to the shack and stay until his transformation was over. They put the tree there so no one could get into the passageway and discover his secret. Well, we followed him using James's invisibility cloak, figured out how to get passed the tree, and made our way to the shack. When we found out we didn't know what to make of it. James finally confronted Remus and asked him where he actually went every month. He told us then. He said he didn't ever tell us because he didn't want to lose us as friends; he was afraid we'd desert him."

"Tonks, do you know why I'm an animagus?" She shook her head.

"Well, I didn't just decide one day that I'd like to be. We felt so sorry for Remus. We saw how much he dreaded the time where he'd have to leave. We felt so bad that he had to be alone. Well, James, Peter and I did some reading, I know it's a shock, but we found out that werewolves could interact with other animals without hurting them the way they would humans. So, we decided to become animagi. It took us until fifth year to get it right, but it was worth every minute. I was a dog, James was a stag, and Peter was a rat. Ever wonder why I call Remus Moony and he calls me Padfoot?" She shook her head yes. "Those were the nicknames we made for ourselves. Remus was Moony because he transformed during the full moon, I was Padfoot because I was a dog, James Prongs because of his antlers, and Peter was wormtail because of his tail. Every time Remus left for the shack we'd wait a few minutes and follow him. We'd spend the whole night out there together." Sirius began to smile reminiscently. "He actually began to look forward to his transformation. "

"Thankfully a potion called Wolfsbane has been invented. It allows Remus to keep his human mind when he transforms; it takes away some of the pain of his transformation. Every month when the moon is full Remus transforms into a werewolf."

"Haven't you noticed that a few times during the summer Remus was gone, or he came to meetings late? Before transformations he gets very tired and the same goes for after. He told you he works for Dumbledore. When he transforms he goes and lives among the werewolves to try and get information about Voldemort; it's very dangerous, but Remus will do anything for Dumbledore; he gave Remus a chance."

"Well that's it then. That's what I needed to tell you." Tonks was speechless; she couldn't think of anything to say.

"Although, I doubt I'll be able to get him to come out of that bedroom anymore. The way you screamed…." Sirius said putting his hand to his head as if it was physically painful for him to think about it.

"Wha…what…why…why won't he come out of the room?"

"The way you reacted."

"Well, I didn't know," said Tonks rediscovering her voice. "What was I suppose to say? What was I supposed to do? No one bothered to tell me!"

"Tonks, Remus didn't want you to know."

"Why? Doesn't the entire order know?"

"No, they don't. Only a few members do."

"I still don't get it. Why won't he come out of the room after I reacted when other people know too?"

"I told you, the way you screamed. When we were in sixth year, at the first full moon, we made our way to the shack like we always did. Well, Evans, James's wife, Lily, Harry's mum, she decided to follow us. She was such a know-it-all in school. She noticed that we left all the time, and she wanted to know why. She managed to get passed the tree and get to the shack. When she saw Remus, as a werewolf, she shrieked like I have never heard before; she was so terrified. I distracted Remus while James got her out. We made her swear not to tell anyone, and she never did. She was very kind and understanding to Remus, but he didn't get over that day for a very long time. He wouldn't come down to the common room for about a month; he was so ashamed."

"Why is he ashamed? It's not his fault!" Tonks stated.

"I don't know, it's just the way he is. I'd probably be the same way if it was me." Silence followed these words. All that could be heard was the ticking of a distant clock.

"He won't hurt you I promise," Sirius said. "He's taken his potion, so it's still him on the inside."

"I know," Tonks said compassionately.

"Well, I'll be off for bed now. I'll see you in the morning." He made his way toward the door. "Oh and Tonks, don't go back there tonight. The best thing is too leave him alone."

"I won't."

Tonks quickly changed and clambered underneath the cold sheets. She knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. She had far too much on her mind.


	8. The Tale of a Toad

Ok, I shall begin with my sincere apology for the extremely long wait for the update. School has been crazy (I'm sure most of you can identify) and I just finished up with the school play, so now that that is over I should have more time to write. I know this has been the longest wait and I really do apologize. I am extremely thankful for you guys. Well, enough of my rambling- onto the story. Please remember to leave a review before you go. :] Thanks I hope you enjoy!

Just to recap: In the last chapter Tonks discovered that Remus was a werewolf.

**Chapter Eight**

**The Tale of a Toad**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Tonks fluttered here eyes open at the very moment the tiniest amount of light snuck through the opening in her curtain. She had hardly gotten any sleep; she felt too horrible about the events of the night before. She sighed as she pulled the covers tightly around her. She tried as hard as she could to fall back asleep, but she just could not do it. Every time she closed her eyes all she saw was the wolf- Remus curled in the corner. The scene replayed over and over again in her mind, and every time she felt a little more horrid. It had occurred so fast that it was difficult for her to recall every detail of it- of him. But now that she really thought about it the figure curled in the corner did not seem frightening as it stared up at her rigid figure. He looked more afraid. She clasped her hands over her eyes and shook her head as she mentally scolded herself for her actions. She reacted too quickly, she knew it. Her auror training and paranoia of living in the times that she did had gotten the better of her. She did not think things through.

After a few more futile attempts of trying to fall asleep Tonks realized there was no point in even trying anymore. As quietly as it was possible for her she lifted the covers, swung her legs over the edge of the bed, and allowed her feet to hit the cold wooden floor. She walked across and opened the curtain allowing the light to spill into the room. She grabbed her robe and slippers and headed for the kitchen.

The house was quiet. It always was, but it seemed more overwhelming than normal, especially in the kitchen. Everyday Tonks had stayed at Grimmauld Place Remus had greeted her in the kitchen in the very early morning; he was not there. Tonks made her way over to the stove and placed a kettle on it.

"Good morning." Tonks jumped at the voice. She whipped around to find Sirius looking back at her.

"Good morning," Tonks responded dully. Something was definitely wrong; Sirius was never awake this early. "What brings you down here this early in the morning? Normally you're not up until much later."

"I couldn't sleep."

"Have too much on your mind?" He nodded in response. "Well, I suppose that's my fault. I'm terribly sorry about last night. I really had no idea. I never would have reacted the way I did would I ha…"

"Tonks it's fine. I know you didn't know. Just let it go for now." She nodded sadly as she turned her attention to pouring the tea.

"Want a cup?"

"Yes, I'd actually love some." After Tonks poured two cups and brought them over to the kitchen table the two of them sat there for a very long time in silence just sipping from their cups.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After her tea Tonks went back to her room to change. Normally she would have taken the time to experiment with her hair because she didn't have to rush to work, but she decided against it; it just wasn't a good day. Her hair remained purple with tints of brown throughout it. For most of the day she sat in the living room and did paperwork. Sirius only came into the living room a few times. Most of the day he was wandering about the house trying to get rid of anything harmful; on Molly's orders of course. Around one or so Tonks had fixed lunch and Sirius had attempted to, at first, get Remus to leave his room to come eat, but he refused. Then he tried to take some up to him, but a few minutes later he came down the stairs with a full tray and a dull look on his face.

Tonks went to bed early that night. She desperately needed the sleep, although she had a feeling she wasn't going to get it. This week had not turned out the way she had been hoping to say the least. She was supposed to be de-stressing during her time off, but she was more stressed than ever.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning Tonks awoke early, the same as she always did. Sirius was again downstairs making tea as she entered the kitchen. Remus was no where to be see, so Tonks presumed conditions were the same as they had been the day before.

"Good morning," she said gloomily as she sat at the kitchen table.

"Morning," Sirius grumbled in response.

"Has he er, has he come out of his room yet?" Tonks asked cautiously.

"No," he stated flatly as he sat across from her and placed a cup of tea in front of her. They sat their in silence, again and sipped their tea.

After finishing her tea in utter silence Tonks decided Sirius obviously didn't want to speak to her, and she did not blame him one bit. It was all her fault after all. Remus wouldn't leave his room and face her; if only she hadn't acted the way she had.

"Well, I'm going to go upstairs and change." Sirius just nodded in response.

Tonks didn't pay any attention to what she was wearing- the same jeans as the day before, a t-shirt, and two mismatched socks. She didn't even bother messing with her hair; she left it its purplish brown color. Grabbing a stack of paperwork she made her way downstairs. As she reached the top of the stairs, she glanced over toward the closed door nearest her. She was overwhelmed with sadness. Inside was Remus upset and alone, and it was all her fault. For a moment she contemplated knocking, but then decided against it.

Around lunch Sirius came into the living room where Tonks had been sitting for hours distracting herself with paperwork.

"Hello," he said trying to sound cheery.

"Wotcher," Tonks replied looking up from the stack on her lap.

"Look Sirius, I feel awful. I just don't know what to do. Should I go say something or may…"

"Tonks,"

"Yes."

"Has anyone ever told you that you talked way too much?"

"As astounding as it may seem, yes," she responded smiling for the first time in two days.

"Tonks, I know you didn't mean to upset him, but you've got to understand that this is very difficult for him. This is a part of his life that he has always tried to keep secret. He'll come out on his own time."

"Well," Tonks said lifting the stack of papers off of her lap.

"I fancy a walk; I'll be back in a bit.

Tonks cautiously made her way out onto the front step of Grimmauld Place, closed the door, and then quickly made her way down the stairs and out of Grimmauld Square. As she looked back, the old house that was number twelve had disappeared.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tonks walked for hours just thinking. She thought about her life: her job, the Order, Sirius, and Remus. She still felt awful. That was her real motive for leaving the house. She thought that maybe if Sirius told Remus she was gone he would come out and at least eat something if nothing else, she smiled and rolled her eyes at herself, she sounded like her mum. Along one of the roads she passed a café and got herself some hot chocolate to warm her throat. Hot chocolate always made her feel better, no matter what the case. It couldn't always fix things, but it could assist in mending them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Passing by a restaurant Tonks noticed that it was almost five, and she decided it was time to get back to Grimmauld Place. She stopped at her flat first though, just to check on things and grab some new clothes. She was happy to discover that nothing had burned down or blown up. After grabbing a new bag full of clothes she apparated to Grimmauld Square. She thought hard, as she always did, about number twelve, and as always it appeared.

As Tonks closed the front door of number twelve and made her way up the hall she turned into the kitchen by abruptly stopped herself as she noticed that someone was pouring tea over the stove; it wasn't Sirius.

She tiptoed out of the room, and actually made it out and up the stairs into her room without making any noise. She was slightly confused on what to do, but her long walk had gotten her thinking. She wasn't going to stay shut up in her room. She was going to go downstairs and sit in the living room and work on her paperwork.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tonks took a deep breath as she made her way down the stairs. Remus was sitting on a chair opposite the couch reading. Tonks took a seat on the sofa opposite him. He didn't say a word and neither did she. Where was Sirius when you really needed him? After a few minutes of working on paperwork and continuously glancing up at Remus to see if he was still there, Tonks began to become quite frustrated. For a few minutes she contemplated her thoughts, but after a while she couldn't take it anymore. She placed her quill down on her lap and looked up at Remus.

"You know," she began "I don't think you're being very fair to me."

"Excuse me?" He asked lowering the book not sure if he heard her correctly.

"This whole situation was a complete misunderstanding and I don't think you're bring very fair to me or giving me much credit."

"I beg your pardon, but I am confused as to what you mean."

"I mean, I didn't mean to act the way that I did. I was just startled. If someone had had the decency to tell me…"

"The decency to tell you?" He questioned disbelieving of what he was hearing.

"Yes. You're not giving me much credit as a person. There is no way I would have reacted that way if I would have known. No one told me, what was I supposed to do? Think about it. What would you have done if you opened the door and found a..a werewolf that you didn't know staring back at you. Wouldn't you be just a bit startled? I assure you that if someone would have told me beforehand I never would have reacted that way. I would have just gone about my business. You've got to understand that I didn't mean anything by my actions I was just startled."

"I don't share that portion of my life with people, and it was never my intention for you to find out."

"Well I realize that now. I was only going into your room to return a book, and then I saw…you. Remus, I feel just awful. I really meant no harm and I…"

"Nymphadora," she flinched but she didn't correct him "you've got to understand that that part of my life has really affected every aspect of my life, and I try to keep that part of it private. But don't worry; I have had far worse experiences then what happened two days ago. The only thing I ask of you is that you tell no one. I'm sure Sirius has already told you about my work for Dumbledore, and the Order cannot risk that secret getting out."

"Of course I won't say a word to anyone." He smiled his half crooked smile at her. She shyly smiled back.

"Nymphadora," he said.

"Yes,"

"You're ink's spilling every where."

"Wha…" she stuttered ", damn!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After cleaning up the spilled ink and going upstairs to change her jeans Tonks had dinner with Sirius and Remus. She didn't know how she managed it, but she always ended up embarrassing herself in worst situations. The dinner, although a little uncomfortable and slightly overcooked, was decent all the same, and it was nice to have Remus back again. That night as Tonks lay down to sleep she smiled to herself; finally she might be able to get a decent rest.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That morning Tonks woke to a full sun shining brightly in the sky-she'd slept in for the first time in what seemed like forever. She changed her clothes and took the time to change her hair a few times before deciding on brown with a pinkish tint. As Tonks made her way down the stairs she heard two voices. She must have really slept late to have Sirius beat her down stairs.

"Morning Tonks," Sirius said cheerily as Tonks entered the kitchen.

"Morning Sirius," she said slightly confused.

"Breakfast?" He offered her slightly blackened toast.

"Sure. Where's Remus I thought I heard him a minute ago?"

"Went to get the paper; his owl was tapping at the front window." The two of them sat down to breakfast just as Remus walked, outraged into the kitchen.

"THAT BITCH!" He yelled as he slammed his hands down on the table, the paper still firmly intact in his clutches. Tonks nearly joked on her pumpkin juice.

"Remus, I never thought you'd be one to use that type of language," Tonks said in utter amazement.

"Who?" Sirius asked.

"Delores Umbridge."

"That miserable old toad?"

"You must understand," he responded ignoring Sirius trying to calm himself down. "This woman is horrible; just simple and straight horrible. She made it nearly impossible for me to get a job. If it weren't for Dumbledore being the type of man that he is I'd be living on the street."

"I don't understand," Tonks said. "Why was it so hard for you to get a job? Why does she hate you so…" she stopped herself; she knew why.

"She hates everything that is not pureblood; she hates pe…things like me." Tonks was outraged that he dared to call himself a thing she opened her mouth the protest, but Sirius, full well knowing what was about to happen, butted in.

"What's it she's done this time Moony?"

"She wormed her way right to the top First she gets a job right under the minister and now she's gotten herself into Hogwarts."

"Hogwarts?" Sirius questioned in disbelief grabbing the paper from Remus's hands before he got a chance to hand it to him.

After a few minutes of Remus silently shaking his head and looking mournfully at his tea, and Tonks just sitting there feeling incredibly uncomfortable Sirius slammed the paper down on the table.

"That evil, evil woman! That horrible miserable old toad! I can't believe she's done this. How can Dumbledore allow this? Is he off his rocker? Doesn't he know what's going to become of this? The teachers are all going to be sacked; well at least we know McGonagall won't stand for it." He got up and left still muttering about a miserable old toad. Tonks reached for the paper as she took another bite of toast.

**Delores Umbridge takes position at Hogwarts**

_Delores J. Umbridge currently senior undersecretary to the minister of Magic will no longer be found sitting behind her desk at the Ministry of Magic in London, but rather taking up her post at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Due to recent events the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, decided that it would be "in the school's bets interest" to have ministry personnel located inside the castle itself. When asked for comment yesterday afternoon after leaving an emergency meeting with the Bulgarian Minister of Magic, Fudge said "due to current events and outstanding issues we think it best to have a ministry official located inside Hogwarts to keep an eye out and work with the staff to ensure that the well being and education of the student is always the top priority." After several meetings and letter exchanges with Hogwarts's headmaster Albus Dumbledore it was decided that Umbridge will fill the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Yesterday, when I caught up with Umbridge as she was leaving the ministry she said "that was she was anxious to begin this new experience." She also said that "although the students' previous education in this subject has been ridiculously unstable I will see to it that their future education will be put as a top priority."_

_Some people question the ministry's motive for the incursion of Hogwarts, most seem to believe that there is something that we, the public are not being told. Others believe that Umbridge is being used as a spy. When asked for comment the minister said "I assure you we are not keeping anything from the public. We are keeping all of you informed." When asked if we would see any change in Hogwarts he said "there could be some changes in the curriculum and the staffing at Hogwarts School. We are sending Delores in to make sure that every aspect of the school is in tip top shape. I assure you that our main concern is the safety and education of your children. With Delores Umbridge there this will be made a top priority. Delores Umbridge will make an excellent addition to the staff and make certain that Hogwarts School is kept up to the high standards to which we hold it."_

That was it, in black and white- the ministry was beginning to interfere with Hogwarts, the only untouchable place left in the Wizarding World. She knew what recent events they were talking about- the Diggory boy's death. Fudge believed it was an accident and now he was going to brainwash everyone else into believing that as well. Tonks didn't know what this meant for Hogwarts, but it certainly was not going to be good. Harry was in danger, and Tonks knew that's what Sirius and Remus feared the most. Harry was always managing to get himself into some form of trouble, most of the time for the good of someone else, but with Umbridge there he had no chance. He wouldn't be able to get away with anything. That had to be Fudge's plan; he wanted Harry gone. He wanted everyone silenced. Tonks didn't know if she was right, or if she was overreacting, but she knew whatever was coming, it was going to be difficult.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

OK so, this is the end of chapter eight. I know I already apologized for how long it took me to update, but let me say again I am really truly and heartily sorry. I have had a lot going on in my life and I know all of you can relate. I really do promise that will try my very best to get the next chapter out as soon as possible. I really want to thank all of my dedicated readers. Thank you so much for your support; especially me reviewers!

I hope everyone has a very Merry and Blessed Christmas and a wonderful Happy New Year!

~Pottergirl


	9. Maybe It's Not So Bad

So, the last time I updated this story was December 23, 2008; almost 2 years ago. I am back to continue writing my story. I am so sorry that it took me almost two years to get back to it. I've had a lot going on with high school and all and never found the time to continue writing. I really admire all those students who still find time to write despite all the stress. This story has always had a special place in my mind and it being summer now, I've finally decided to get back to writing. To all of my reviewers I whole heartedly thank you for all of your kind words, to you and to the people on my alert list, I hope you will reread the story. Thank you all so much for everything, and now I'll begin **A Change of Heart** after almost two years.

_To recap, the last chapter ended with Remus, Sirius, and Tonks discovering that Delores Umbridge would be taking up the position of Defense against the Dark Arts Teacher at Hogwarts._

**Maybe it's not so bad**

The morning paper had brought quite a dreary feeling that remained at Number 12 throughout the day. Tonks had settled into the living room with more paperwork, Remus has retreated to his room, while Sirius stomped around the kitchen supposedly "cleaning" it. After about the ninth crash Tonks evacuated her seat on the old lumpy couch and walked into the kitchen where she found Sirius shouting "Reparo!" at a grey mug that had spread pieces all over the counter and floor. "Sirius," Tonks asked shyly, "are you going to be alright?"

"Oh yes, I'll be just fine," he answered quite sarcastically. "I'm stuck here in this ruddy house all day everyday and the only chance of communication with my godson is now completely gone. With the ministry at Hogwarts there's no way I'll be able to talk to him. They'll be watching the floo network and intercepting his mail."

"Well, it's not completely gone," Tonks began, trying to be sensitive to her cousin's feelings. "You'll still get to see him at Christmas and then…" Tonks stopped herself as she watched Sirius eyes drop to form an expression of pure sadness. She realized how ridiculous she sounded. _You'll still get to see him at Christmas and then when he comes home for the summer. And what does he do for the rest of the time?_ "You can still talk to him," she began, determined. "You can still talk to him. We'll use my name, or write to Ron and Hermione and make it out as one of their parents."

"They'll never let me," Sirius said speaking of the Order.

"And since when have you concerned yourself with what other people will let you do?" Tonks knew at some point this would probably get her or Sirius in trouble, but she just wanted to bring Sirius some kind of comfort, some kind of hope.

"Don't encourage him," Remus stated as he entered the kitchen going straight to the stove to put on a pot of tea. "He was quite the schemer back in school. No doubt he'll have a plan by midnight, and with you on his side it might be in danger of actually working."

"Calm yourself Remus," Sirius said defensively. "I'm not going to do anything that would put Harry in danger. Where's Kreacher? I saw him stealing from one of the bedrooms this morning." He almost seemed to be talking to himself as he left the room in search of the horrid little house elf.

"You really shouldn't encourage him, you know," Remus said matter-of-factly. "He's too risky sometimes, he's always been that way."

"I'm just trying to make him feel better. I can't stand to see him so upset. He's been depressed since I've joined the Order, but it seems so much worse now. I can't imagine living here all the time. Even with the three of us, it's still so…awful."

"It is, but unfortunately there's nothing we can do about it; just try to keep his spirits up as much as we can and at least the Order meets here."

It was Monday morning and Tonks was not looking forward to another dreary day at the office. She threw on her robes and planted herself on her swivel chair behind a giant stack of paperwork that had accumulated while she was off. She pushed herself through report after report. Around noon she heard some commotion and realized that Fudge was walking through the cubicles, cheerily, with Scrimgeour at his side. Fudge had a rather smug look on his face. "Good morning everyone" he said stopping near the center of the room. "As I'm sure you're all aware we've placed Delores Umbridge in position at Hogwarts. Rest assured that Hogwarts will be safe and well protected and you all will not have to worry about it at all." Tonks snorted to herself. They weren't working on anything Hogwarts related. No one had been assigned to protect it or anything of the sort. This was just Fudge's way of letting everyone know he'd won, he'd beaten Dumbledore and gotten a ministry official inside. "Well, we have an interview with the Daily Prophet in a few minutes, so must be off. Have a wonderful day." With that he strutted out of the office.

"Good to see you're back, Nymphadora," said Scrimgeour. Tonks clenched her fist around her quill. _If he calls me Nymphadora one more time I will jump over this desk and kill him. _"Thank you sir," Tonks said smiling. "It's good to be back."

"Well, I'm certain since you've had such a long time off you'll be working twice as hard to get all of your paperwork done."

"Oh yes sir," Tonks agreed. Under normal circumstances she would have defended herself and told him that she had been doing paperwork for a good portion of the time she was off, but she knew she'd need to leave on occasion for meetings and she didn't want Scrimgeour angry with her. He nodded as approval and began to walk away. "And sir," Tonks said, "it's Tonks, please."

That night Tonks went back to her flat. It seemed so empty without Sirius and Remus. She'd only been staying with them for a few days, but it was nice to have company. All of sudden Tonks heard a tap at her window. It was Dotty, with two letters attached to her tiny foot. "Thanks Dotty," Tonks said petting her. She then fluttered her wings and flew back out into the chilly night air. Tonks recognized the swirly print on the first envelope; her mother had written her back.

_Dear Nymphadora,_

_ I'm dreadfully sorry it took so long for us to respond. I left the letter on the desk as soon as I got it. I was going to respond after dinner, but your father decided to clean the living room and lost it. I just found it under a pile of old Daily Prophets sitting in the corner of the kitchen. We are doing very well; had a lovely summer. I hope work isn't too terrible. I worry so much about your being an auror. Of course I'm happy that you're doing what you love, but with the times it's so dangerous. Things have to be getting worse if their allowing the ministry in Hogwarts. Respond as soon as you can._

_ All my love,_

_ Mum_

_Dora,_

_ It's dad. Don't listen to your mother. I didn't lose the letter; I put it somewhere for safe keeping. I hope work's going well. I know things have to be going badly for them to allow interference at Hogwarts. Stay out of trouble. _

_ Love you,_

_ Dad_

Tonks smiled at the letter from her parents as she wrote back to them.

_Dear mum&dad,_

_Don't worry about misplacing the letter, I'm just glad to hear from you both. I'm doing really well. The flat's surprisingly clean-still standing and nothing's burnt. Don't worry mum, I haven't been out doing anything for work in ages. I sit behind a desk all day and fill out paper work, it's dreadfully boring, but rather time consuming. I don't know much about the Hogwart's business. They don't really let on too much in the office, but I'm presuming it's bad. I'm glad your summer went nicely. I'll talk to you soon._

_ All my love,_

_ Dora_

P.S. Mum, please, it's TONKS!

Tonks sealed the envelope and sat it on the counter. She'd give it to Dotty the next morning when she brought the paper. She looked toward the second letter. She recognized this handwriting too-Mad-eye. It read: _Meeting tomorrow seven-thirty sharp. Don't be late._ "Honestly," Tonks thought to herself as she ripped the letter into pieces and threw it in the wastebasket, "he's still telling me not to be late. I think I've proven myself. I can be on time."

The next day dragged as per usual, but Tonks managed to make it through. She'd stopped at her flat before heading off to Grimmauld Place and discovered Dotty by the window, a letter attached to her foot.

_Dear Nymphadora,_

_We're so glad to hear that you are well. I'm sorry that work is so boring, but at least you're safe. Things are just getting so dangerous now. It's frightful to leave the house at times. You'll have to come for dinner sometime soon. Let me know whenever you can come. _

_ All my love,_

_ Mum_

_P.S. I am not going to call you Tonks. Your name is Nymphadora and that is precisely what I'm going to call you, no matter how much you detest it._

Tonks quickly scribbled something back. _I'll let you know. Work is nuts and my hours are crazy. I have to get back to it right now actually. Talk to you soon._

_ My love,_

_ Tonks_

Tonks entered the kitchen of Number 12 where most of the members were already seated. After Tonks found an open chair next to Hestia, Mad-Eye stood and began the meeting. "Professor Dumbledore cannot make it tonight. Business at Hogwarts. We're skeptical of letting him leave with Umbridge there. No telling what she'd do. Tonight we need to discuss guard duty. Kingsley has some information for us." Mad-Eye nodded to Kingsley who was seated three seats down on his right. He stood, "Thank you Mad-Eye," he nodded. "I have been on duty for the past three days and I've noticed Lucius Malfoy talking to the same unspeakable that he was seen speaking to before. I couldn't get close enough to hear their conversation, but I think we really need to keep an eye on him. We really need to find out what he's up to."

"What do you mean what he's up to?" Sirius chimed in. "Don't we already know? He's getting whatever Voldemort wants, or at least trying to."

"We don't know that," Mad-Eye shouted back authoritatively. "He maybe trying to figure out the same thing we are. What the Dark Lord wants and why it's so important."

"Malfoy's a Death Eater, we all know it. Harry saw him at the graveyard. He's been with Voldemort from the beginning, what's the question? Voldemort can't come to the ministry and get whatever he wants himself so he's using that weasel to do it."

"We can't be sure of that," Remus said calmly. "The Malfoys were one of the first to plead innocence when Voldemort lost power. It would be unlikely that he would trust Lucius with such information."

"We just have to keep a close eye on him at all times," Emmaline Vance chimed in. "We have to find out what he and the unspeakable are talking about."

"Yes, but we can't let on that we're watching him," Remus stated. "If they know that we're watching they'll make sure we can't find them."

"What are we going on about then?" Sirius stated. "We just have to keep things going as we have been."  
"We need to find a way to figure out more about the unspeakable, more about what's in the Department of Mysteries," Remus stated.

"Do we know anyone in the Department who could help? Anyone we can trust?" Sturgis asked.

"We can't trust anyone," Mad-Eye responded.

"Well then what are we going to do?" Emmaline Vance asked.

"We've hit a dead end haven't we? We can't speak to anyone, can't let Malfoy know we've been watching." Hestia questioned defeated.  
"This isn't doing anything," Sirius stated. "Why don't we just break in there and find out what they're hiding."

"Don't be ridiculous, Sirius," Mad-Eye stated. "We can't risk that. The entire Order would be in danger.

"Not if we all keep to our promise and keep out mouths closed. Send one person. I'll go. If I get caught then that's that."

"Explain how you, a convicted murderer is going to get into one of the most secure Departments of the Ministry of Magic. Are you just going to walk in and expect them to smile and let you pass?"  
"I'll figure it out somehow."  
"We need preciseness. We don't need guessing."

"Well, at least I'm thinking of something rather than just sitting here stating things we already know!"

"Enough!" Arthur said throwing his glance back and forth from Sirius, to Mad-Eye, to the rest of the table. "Now that Kingsley has spotted Malfoy and the Unspeakable talking on more than one occasion we know that their meetings aren't by chance. Malfoy is trying to figure out what's in that room or he already knows and has to get it. Either way, as long as Malfoy's not in there whatever it is is still safe. Whoever is on guard duty has to be especially alert for Malfoy. Don't let him go anywhere near that room. Keep him away at all costs. We don't know how much longer we have until he gets inside."

"Arthur's right," Remus agreed. "We can't do anything until we get inside that room, but we can keep Malfoy from getting inside. That's all we can do for now."

"Thank you, Remus, "Mr. Weasley nodded. "We're going to conclude this meeting now. Kingsley you're still on guard duty tonight. Tonks you are tomorrow until Friday night. We'll have a brief meeting then to keep everyone up to speed."

Tonks was dead tired. This was her third night on guard duty. She had gotten around ten hours of sleep in the past four days and she didn't know how much longer she could take it. She tried to work on her reports, but her eyelids got heavier and heavier each time. "Just a few more hours, only a few more," Tonks encouraged herself. "A few more until you're headed straight back to the office for eight hours." The mere thought made Tonks feel uneasy. She desperately hoped Molly was making dinner that evening, Tonks hadn't eaten properly, or as close to properly as she normally came, in days.

She continued to patrol hearing nothing, as usual, but suddenly Tonks heard a voice that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She clutched her wand instinctively inside her robes.

"Good morning Nymphadora," Lucius Malfoy said as Tonks turned to face him. Her heart began to race. _ What's he doing here? The unspeakable isn't here. He's trying to break in. What are you going to do? Hex him! No stop! Act normal. Don't give away anything._

"Good morning Lucius," Tonks said with the same disdain she always used when she seldom talked to her uncle.

"You're here a bit early aren't you?"  
"I'd say you're a bit early too."

"What, may I ask are you doing here? You work, as I recall, in the auror department."

"I do. I had paperwork to drop off here. I've been behind; I had to come in early."

"What paperwork is this?"  
"Ministry business," Tonks sneered at him. "Now what are you doing here so early?"

"I have a meeting this morning."

"With whom?"  
"Personal business, I'm afraid." They just stared at each other. "Shouldn't you be getting back to your office, Nymphadora?" Lucius questioned. "You did say you were behind on your work."

"I should, but I'm afraid you'll have to join me. These aren't ministry hours and no one's allowed in the building unless they work here. You'll have to wait by the visitors' entrance until hours. And it's Tonks."

"Well, I don't need your accompaniment. I think I am quite capable of getting to the visitor's entrance myself."

"Oh I don't doubt your capabilities, Lucius, but I'm afraid if someone finds out I let you go alone it'll cost me my job. And goodness knows you're nowhere near worth that. After you."

Tonks entered the office that morning two hours later, still energized and rather proud of herself for handling Lucius the way she had. She'd gone back to her post after and waited until her shift started. She couldn't wait to tell the order what she had seen, what she had done. Finally she would really have something to contribute, that thought kept her going in a relatively good mood through the day. Around one Tonks was interrupted when Scrimgeour came over to her desk.

"Nymphadora," he stated.

"It's Tonks," She automatically shot back as she continued writing furiously with her quill.

"Nymphadora," he stated again a little more authoritatively. Tonks looked up. "We have to discuss your work performance."

"My performance?" She questioned.

"Yes, your performance. How would say your work performance is?"

"Well, sir, err, I don't really do much, just paperwork so I'd say it's really good."

"You would?"  
"Yes sir, I would," Tonks stated a little more proudly. It was getting ridiculous.

"Well, I would have to differ with that."

"Why is that?" Tonks asked becoming a tad annoyed. "Sir," she added quickly.

"Look at these reports," he thrust a handful of parchment into her hands.

"They're reports I wrote. I don't understand what the proble…" but Scrimgeour cut her off.

"Your handwriting is awful. I can barely make out what you wrote. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement already has enough to deal with. They don't have extra time to spend trying to read your writing. All of these need to be rewritten by Monday." Tonks looked at her writing. It wasn't her best, but it certainly wasn't as bad as Scrimgeour was making it out to be. She'd written these reports the past two days during patrol duty. She was sleepy and her writing suffered because of it.

Even though Scrimgeour was right about her handwriting, Tonks felt a pang of anger. She didn't sign up to write reports all day. She was supposed to be an auror; fighting and protecting. Her writing wouldn't matter if she were out in the world doing what she was supposed to be. Scrimgeour interrupted her thoughts. "That won't be a problem, will it, Nymphadora?"

"No, sir it will not," she stated coldly returning to her work.

"Good. Please make sure that your future work is done better. I would really hate to fire you over such a petty thing as penmanship." FIRE HER? Was he kidding? Tonks might have been clumsy, but she'd never done anything _that _wrong when it came to her job; nothing that could get her fired at least.

"It would be, Sir. Now if you don't mind. I have to get back to my work."  
"Of course, Nymphadora. Make sure you have those reports on my desk tomorrow morning as soon as your shift starts.

"Of course sir, and it's Tonks."

Tonks was so furious that her hands were shaking and she messed up on a handful of reports. She smudged the words and pressed so hard she put a whole through the parchment. _Great more I have to redo. _Finally her shift ended. She grabbed her things and determinedly left the office. As she was leaving, angrily, without pay attention, she walked right into Scrimgeour. "I'm so sorry," she said quickly until she looked up to see who it was. "Sir," she added coldly.

"It's quite alright, Nymphadora. Just try and pay more attention. You're losing focus. That's not good for an auror. Have good evening."  
"You too, Sir." Tonks was shaking with anger. _That git! That stupid git! Keeps calling me Nymphadora, he practically emphasizes it. I've practically begged him…well naturally he's only doing to make me angry. Tells me how to do my job? I'm already an auror! I passed training and I don't need any of his input._

Tonks stomped into the kitchen of number 12 and waited quietly at the table for the meeting to begin.

"Evening," Mad-eye began. "Going to be brief. Just want to keep everyone informed. Arthur."

"Yes, good evening everyone," Arthur began. "I just wanted to keep everyone up to speed with some of the goings on in the ministry and my department. Fudge had an interview today with the Daily Prohpet, supposed to be in tomorrow morning's edition, we'll have to see how that went. We got three reports today, peculiar, three muggle homes were completely ransacked, spells laid out all over the place. They had no idea, but someone was the magic reversal quad showed up with the police and discovered it all. "

"Is that abnormal?" Hestia questioned. "I thought things of that nature happened all the time."

"Well, they do, but not normally to that scale. Normally it's just one thing, a teapot that bites, a shrinking key, or a necklace that causes rashes. I've never heard of such blatant use of magic. We don't have any idea if it has to do with you-know-who, but it's just something to keep an eye on." He paused and then clapped his hands together. "Tonks, I believe you were on guard duty this week." Tonks nodded. "Anything to report?" Tonks took a deep breath.

"Yes, actually I had a run in with our friend, Lucius," she said. Everyone stared, their eyes asking her to explain. "I was patrolling and he came behind me and just started talking to me, asked what I was doing there so early. So, I just made up something about paperwork and asked him. He told me he was there for a meeting, wouldn't tell me with whom though."

"Obviously," Mad-Eye interrupted, "he wasn't there for a meeting at all."

"So," Tonks continued eyeing Mad-Eye, "he was really anxious for me to leave, but I told him he couldn't stay because it was before hours and he'd have to wait at the visitors' entrance. He told me he'd go there, but I didn't trust him. I followed him up and waited for a few minutes. He ended up leaving."

"You left your post!" Mad-eye shouted.

"Only to take Lucius to the visitors' entrance. I went straight back right after."

"You left your post unattended," he continued angrily. "What if that was a trick, Nymphadora?" He scolded. "What if while you were gone somebody else snuck in?"

"They didn't!" Tonks responded quite loudly. Today had not been a good day. First she'd been scolded for not doing her actual job correctly and now Mad-Eye was yelling at her for doing what she was supposed to do, and calling her Nymphadora! "Everything was just as I left it."

"You have to think!" He continued to shout. "You left your post unattended anyone could have walked right in. Use your common sense Nymphadora! Constant Vigilance!"

"I was using my common sense, Mad-Eye," Tonks shot back. "I was following Malfoy because I don't trust him. He's a death eater, he could have gone anywhere or done anything if I hadn't followed him."  
"Anywhere besides where you were patrolling which is the only place we care about!" It was taking all of Tonks's power not to jump up from her chair and start screaming.

"Okay then," Arthur said getting to his feet. "Tonks, thank you. It's good that you kept an eye on him, no telling what he would have done. Now, we're not sure about the next meeting. We'll make sure everyone gets notice though. Molly's made a light dinner for everyone." People slightly stirred, but everyone seemed afraid to talk. Tonks could feel her anger boiling inside her. How dare he! How dare Mad-Eye make a fool of her in front of everyone, again. She did her job. _Use you common sense Nymphadora! Constant Vigilance! _She did use her common sense and that's precisely why she followed Lucius.

Despite her anger, something was nagging at her as she chewed her potato. She thought about what could have happened. In her mind she saw someone slip into the room while she walked away with Lucius and slip right back out before she returned. She was just trying to do her job. What else could she have done? It was all over now. Mad-Eye had made a fool of her again and everyone in the order saw her lose her temper.

Members gradually began to leave as dinner finished, Mad-Eye was the first. He looked angry and left in a rush muttering about constant vigilance and common sense. A few people, Tonks, Mr.& Mrs. Weasley, Hestia, Remus, and Sirius remained at Number 12. Molly was making tea for everyone. Tonks, visibly defeated, remained in the kitchen with her while the others proceeded to the living room. "Need any help, Mrs. Weasley?" She asked.

"Oh no thank you, Nym…Tonks," she corrected herself. She looked up and must have noticed Tonks's face. "Don't worry dear," she reassured her. "You did your best, a very good job. Mad-Eye's just a little…impatient sometimes."

"Thanks Mrs. Weasley." Tonks left the kitchen and found a spot on the end of the lumpy couch. _You did your best._ That's not what Tonks wanted to hear. She wanted people to agree that Mad-Eye was wrong and out of line. The way he scolded her, like one of his pupils, rather than one of his peers.

"You're a sight for sore eyes," Sirius joked pulling Tonks away from her thoughts. Tonks didn't answer him, she was too angry. She didn't trust what she might say, and she didn't want the remaining order members to see her lose her temper again. Sirius; however, used her silence as an open invitation to keep going. "What's wrong Nmyph-a-dor-a?" He emphasized. "In a bit of a bad mood are we?" She couldn't stand it anymore.

"If one more person calls me Nymphadora I will hex them into oblivion!" She shouted holding her wand in the air for emphasis.

"Calm yourself, dear cousin, only trying to raise your broken spirits."

"I…" she looked around at everyone. Hestia had gotten up and was making her way into the kitchen to help Mrs. Weasley. Mr. Weasley just stared at her. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I've just been having an awful day. I have to redo these reports and Scrimgeour won't leave me alone and he keeps calling me Nymphadora even though I've begged him not to and…I'm just sorry." She closed her eyes.

"Well," Sirius said, "I think I'll head into the kitchen for some of that tea." Arthur followed. Tonks out her head in her hands.

"You know," Remus said as he looked up from the book he was reading, "you shouldn't be so upset about your name."

"And why shouldn't I be?" Tonks questioned. "It's a wretched name and my mum's off her rocker for choosing it."

"Nymphs really are very fascinating creatures. I read a book about them once. Very popular in Greek mythology, very powerful."

"Oh, err…I mean, I suppose that's nice," Tonks said. She's never really thought about that. "But I know my mum didn't name me it because of Nymphs being powerful. She just liked it and decided to stick me with it."

"Yes, but all the same. You shouldn't be ashamed of it. It's a rather nice name and as I said Nymphs are quite the wondrous little creatures."

"I suppose." She stated. Remus slightly smiled and went back to reading. "Do you think Sirius would mind if I err…if I just stayed the night here. I'm dead tired."

"No, I don't think he should mind."  
"Well then, I guess I'll be going up to bed. Err…thank you again." Tonks made her way up the stairs and into the bedroom where she had stayed last time. She hadn't brought any night clothes, but she was content to sleep in her t-shirt and jeans. She couldn't bear the thought of going home to her empty flat being forced to look at all the reports she had to rewrite. As she pulled the sheets around her tightly she thought of what Remus said about her name. Maybe her name wasn't too awful, if Nymphs were as "wondrous" as Remus said they were.

So, that was extremely long, but I wanted to get things on a roll again. I hope you guys read this and I really hope you still like it if you already read it. Please leave a review. I'd really appreciate it. :]


	10. My Home is Your Home

I'm so sorry it's taken so long. I've been working on summer work and was on vacation. I'm back now to stay and to write this story; hopefully it won't take as long as it has been taking. Hopefully the story will start picking up speed. I hope you enjoy it and please leave a review. :]

Chapter 10

My Home is Your Home

The autumn weather had really begun to set in; especially in the old drafty house that was home to the Order of the Phoenix. Tonks wrapped her sweater tightly around her arms as she sipped her tea waiting for the meeting to begin. Dumbledore was supposed to be joining the Order that evening, but he was running late, an extremely rare occurrence. Just as Tonks began to allow herself to worry, she heard Dumbledore's swift footsteps making their way into the kitchen.

"Good evening everyone," he said as he took his place at the head of the long wooden table. "I apologize for my tardiness. I was detained at Hogwarts longer than I expected. I called you here today because I have some information that I wish to share with all of you. For some time I have had suspicions of what is hidden in the Department of Mysteries. I have said few things about it, not wanting to assume too much. I have discovered that I was correct in my thinking. Lord Voldemort is after a prophesy in the Department of mysteries. The prophesy is about Harry. I was there when Sybill Trelawney made the prophesy. It has been hidden in the Department of Mysteries for many years, and Harry knows nothing about it. Prophesies can only be retrieved by the person about whom they are made, so for now, it is safe. We cannot, however; underestimate the power of Lord Voldemort. We need to protect the Department of Mysteries and keep anyone affiliated with Voldemort away. Guard duty must continue and it is of the gravest importance that we are all alert of who is entering the ministry and why." Silence engulfed the room as Dumbledore took a breath. "Unfortunately, I must return to Hogwarts. Recent events demand my presence there a great deal more than before. Arthur and Mad-Eye will see to it that everyone remains informed of the next meeting." He moved away from his chair and toward the door way with Mad-Eye and Kingsley at his heels. "Good evening, to all."

The door closed and Kingsley and Mad-Eye returned to the table, Mad-Eye taking Dumbledore's place at the head. "You heard Dumbledore," he growled. "We know what Voldemort's after. We have to be alert, constant vigilance. Elphias, you're on guard duty for the week." He abruptly took his seat. Mr. Weasley stood almost immediately. "Right, well…we'll let everyone know when the next meeting is going to be held, most likely sometime next week, unless anything urgent is to occur. Molly's made dinner for everyone, so help yourselves." Molly stood up rapidly and made her way over to the stove where various and assorted things were boiling.

Dinner was delicious as usual; Mrs. Weasley certainly did have a talent for cooking. Most of the Order had gone within an hour after being served, but Tonks was still there, along with Mad-Eye, Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley, Kingsley, and of course Remus and Sirius. Tonks was sipping tea in the living room listening to the others, save Mrs. Weasley, talk about Fudge and his news reports with the Daily Prophet proclaiming Umbridge's grand success with Hogwarts. After a few minutes the group broke apart and Kingsley and Mad-Eye bid their goodbyes. Mr. Weasley made his way into the kitchen where Mrs. Weasley was cleaning. Tonks had offered to help, but Mrs. Weasley had assured she could handle it and Tonks could go into the living room with the others. As Tonks continued to sip she decided she would ask Sirius is she could stay the night. It had been two weeks since she'd stayed with Sirius and she missed the company. It was the weekend and she couldn't bear to go home and face an empty flat and a huge stack of paper work that had somehow accumulated in the past two days.

Even though she knew Sirius well now, Tonks still got nervous when she asked if she could stay the night. "Err…Sirius," she said shyly walking up to him and Remus. "Would you mind if I stayed the night tonight? I don't feel like sitting at home."

"It's quite alright," Sirius said. "My home is your home."

"Well, er…great. I'll just run home and grab my things then."

That night Tonks returned bag in hand filled with overnight clothes and new jeans and a sweater for the next day and half of the stack of paper work she was supposed to finish over the weekend, it was better to work on it in a house with some company rather than sitting in her flat, alone. As she made her way through the living room to put her things in the bedroom upstairs she walked past Remus and Sirius talking near the fireplace. She only caught bits and pieces of their conversation, but from what she heard it seemed like they were talking about Hogwarts; she couldn't wait to join them. She loved listening to their stories, they seemed like just entertaining teenagers.

Tonks made her way back down stairs and found Remus and Sirius in the same places near the fire place. She walked over, flicked her wand, and pulled up a chair for herself.

"Tonks," Sirius said as she sat down. "When did you get in?"

"Just a few minutes ago," she replied. "I walked right past you."

"You did not," he protested almost astounded with himself.

"Yes, she did," Remus responded. "She came in and walked right up the stairs."

"You didn't see me?" Tonks asked.

"No," Sirius responded. "Too involved in the conversation I suppose."

"Well, don't stop on my account," Tonks stated leaning back into chair.

The two men started their conversation again jumping from Hogsmeade, to Quidditch, to teachers, and back to Quidditch again.

"Did either of you boys ever play Quidditch?" Tonks asked.

"Oh no," Remus said. "I liked watching, but never had a knack for it. I can fly fairly well, but I never really had an interest in playing the game."

"I didn't play either. James was Quidditch player out of the group. I could fly well enough, play well too, but I don't think any of the captains would have allowed me to play if I was the last available person. I wasn't really what you would call "a team player."

"So James played?" Tonks asked. "What position?"

"Chaser," Sirius responded. "Although he'd steal the snitch all the time and mess around with it, especially in front of Evans."

"Did you ever play, Ny…Tonks?" Remus asked.

"No," Tonks shook her head. "I love Quidditch, went to the World Cup with my dad once. I never tried out for my house team though, never would have made it. I'm dead clumsy," she blushed when she said this; obviously both of them knew how clumsy she was. "I liked to watch and I played with friends, I was always a chaser."

The conversation progressed on with anecdotes of days at Hogwarts—potions lessons gone wrong, Hogsmeade trips, and pranks the Marauders played."

"Remember what William Curtail did when we set off those Dungbombs in the hallway."

Remus couldn't keep himself from laughing, "He tried to run after James, but, "Remus kept laughing "He tripped over his robes and slid right into McGonagall," Remus said still laughing seeming slightly embarrassed for the poor boy.

"Well, "Sirius said between laughs, "he was a Hufflepuff."  
"Hey!" Tonks interjected, "What's wrong with Hufflepuffs?"

"C'mon Tonks," Sirius said, "it's Hufflepuff; the house takes everyone."

"I was a Hufflepuff," she stated proudly. "Not everyone's allowed. We're kind, and just, and unafraid, and loyal."

"And dead clumsy," Sirius added. Remus couldn't stifle his laughter, although he tried as he looked up at Tonks. Tonks stared back at them, trying to be angry, but she couldn't help it, their laughter was infectious. Amidst their laughter Tonks really had a chance to look at Remus' smile. It was the first time he had really smiled since she met him. He had a crooked smile, but it was warm and his blue eyes lit up when it showed. Tonks could have spent the whole night listening to the two of them talk. Three hours later, the three decided it would be best to head off to bed. Still laughing over the anecdotes of the evening, Tonks slid under the covers and pulled them over her shoulders. As she closed her eyes all she could hear was Sirius' uproarious laughter and all she could see was that warm crooked smile.

So, this one was really short, but I'm trying to adjust from being very day-to-day detailed to moving more rapidly. Since I waited so long to post, I will be posting another one very shortly to compensate. Please leave a review, I'd really appreciate it.


	11. Like an Auror Again

Hey everyone! I said I would be posting quickly, so here it is as promised. :] Please leave a review for me. :]

Chapter 11

Like an Auror Again

October was rapidly coming to a close and winter weather was already sending threatening messages that its arrival was drawing near. The Order was meeting again a week after the previous meeting as promised. At 7 o'clock sharp, the meeting began. Dumbledore was absent, so Mad-Eye started. "Evening everyone," he growled. "Nothing much has changed since the last meeting. Elphias has been on guard duty all week. Anything you'd like to say?" He stared down the table toward Elphias Dodge.

"Nothing really," the man began. "No one's come who wasn't supposed to be there."

"I've had a thought," Hestia began, "What if the Dark Lord's working with someone in the Department of Mysteries. We already know Lucius has been talking to an Unspeakable. What if it goes further than that? What if someone is actually working with the Dark Lord?"

"Excellent thought, Hestia," Arthur said approvingly. "That's why we have to keep such a close watch on the department. We're trying to find a way to enter it without being detected. It'll be easier to guard the prophesy if we're actually in the same room. In the mean time we just have to keep an eye on everyone who works there, especially those who have ever been presumed to be connected to the Dark Lord. Kingsley and I will work on finding out information the Department's employees to see if any of them have a history." After Arthur spoke Kingsley stood and everyone's attention refocused on him. "Right then. We all know that our sole mission is to stop the Dark Lord, but in order to do that we need to keep an eye on his followers too. Death Eaters are at large. There have been many more outright acts of dark magic, particularly toward muggles, that we believe are linked to them. The more outright they are with their attacks the easier it will be to track them, but we have to be alert at all times. "He nodded to Mad-Eye as he sat down.

"Alright then," Mad-Eye standing as he took over the conversation. "Voldemort cannot do anything on his own. The ministry may be blind, but he's not so stupid as to go out and do things by himself. He needs his followers. If we stop them then Voldemort must stop, or at the very least slow down his efforts. If we track them we have a greater chance of discovering who is on their side, where they're meeting, what they're doing." He took a breath; he still had the room's complete attention. "So," he began again, "We've compiled a list of known death eaters and will be doing what we can to track them." He shoved a handful of parchment in the air with pictures on each one. Arthur stood again quickly. "So," he began. "We've decided to start tracking them just to see if they're meeting with each other. We're going to start tomorrow. Remus has already volunteered to track tomorrow. We're wondering if anyone would be able to go on such short notice, hate for him to go alone." Everyone remained quiet. The members of the Order had jobs. They had to work the next day or wanted a break from working. A few seconds into the silence Tonks shouted, "I'll do it," almost obediently. Arthur looked a little startled at Tonks sudden outburst, but he nodded approvingly. "Thank you Tonks. I think you and Remus will be heading out around nine tomorrow morning. Right Remus?"

"Yes, Arthur," Remus answered nodding his head. "We'll leave at nine and hopefully be at Diagon Alley around nine thirty." Tonks was puzzled. Diagon Alley? Why on earth would they go there? Surely the death eaters wouldn't be walking down the middle of Diagon Alley plotting their schemes for all to see. She didn't question anything though. She was so excited to finally be doing something. She would feel like a real auror for the first time in her life.

Tonks could barely sleep that night she was so excited. She stayed up late into the evening practicing spells, well movements, she didn't want to use words and destroy her flat. The next morning came incredibly slowly and even though she'd only slept for a few hours Tonks was wide awake running on pure adrenaline; she even arrived ten minutes early at Grimmauld Place. Remus was already set to go, but she still felt quite accomplished arriving early. Mad-eye was there too. Was he making sure Tonks could walk out the front door correctly?

"Tonks," he growled, "change your hair. The point is to not be discovered." Tonks quickly changed her purple hair to brown. Almost immediately after she and Remus set off. They walked down a few streets in pure silence before Remus finally said something. "We're going to apparate from that alley up there," he said pointing toward the alley two streets away.

"Where are we going?"

"A few streets up from The Leaky Cauldron. It's the only safe place off of the main street. I've checked several times; no one's ever there and there's several cartons lying about. No one will see us." The silence took over again as they reached the alley.

"Remus," Tonks asked. "How I am going to apparate into this alley? I don't know what it is or what it's called." They walked into the center of the alley next to a dumpster.

"Take my arm," he said. "You'll just side along for now. Next time you'll know where it is."

"Right." He held out his arm. Tonks couldn't even explain to herself why she could feel her cheeks slightly burn.

Tonks hated the tight feeling of apparition, but thankfully it was over quickly. They landed behind a bunch of empty orange crates. Well, Remus landed, Tonks tried to put her second foot down and slammed into a crate causing herself to almost fall on top of it, but luckily, Remus caught her by the arm and pulled her back onto both feet.

"Thanks," Tonks blushed. She really was the clumsiest person on the planet. "Where to?"

"The Leaky Cauldron." The two made their way into the pub and nodded at the bartender, Tom, as they passed. Remus pulled out his wand and tapped the bricks on the wall causing it to disappear right before their eyes. Remus' eyes seemed to survey the alley, bunches of witches and wizards shuffling about in and out of shops; a good crowd for a Saturday morning at the end of October. Remus motioned for Tonks to follow him into the Apothecary. He walked to the front corner and pretended to be very interested in a cartoon full of green and purple herbs.

"Remus," Tonks whispered, "What are we doing in here?"

"Shh…" he said quickly, "these are all hand harvested in the countryside; the best quality." He held up a bright purple herb.

"Err, right, that's great," Tonks replied completely befuddled. Remus dropped the herb and quickly looked around the shop. Only three other people were browsing on the other side of the store.

"Tonks," he said. "We have to be very careful about what we say," he pointed to the herbs. "We're supposed to be following Jugson. We've gotten word he's been here every day for the past week; always coming through the Leaky Cauldron. I thought he might have been in there. We'll just have to wait until he arrives and follow from there. Not too closely, though, and we can't talk about him either. We can't afford for him or anyone else to notice."

"Right," Tonks stated. "Can't saying being discreet is my strong point, but I'll be able to handle it."

"There!" Remus stated under his breath. Tonks looked up, there was Jugson, the face from one of the photos last night, walking down the alley. Remus briskly left the shop and Tonks followed at his heels. As they were walking quickly, Jugson in sight, Remus began whispering to Tonks under his breath. "We need to keep at least three shops behind, stop occasionally, and slow our pace. We can't risk his find out we're following him.

The two followed him for a few minutes before he walked into Quality Quidditch Supplies. They walked briskly into Flourish & Blotts and waited by one of the shelves, pretending to look at a book about a set of new potions to cure dragon bites. Remus glanced up every few seconds, ready to move. "There he goes," he said quickly planting the book back on the shelf. They followed him down the alley all the way to the exit that led to Knockturn Alley. Tonks continued walking to the exit when Remus grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "You can't follow him Tonks."

"What?" She asked. They'd been tracking for less than an hour and now they were finished?

"We can't follow him down there; someone will notice us too easily. We've done all we can do. We know that he doesn't want anyone to know he's in Knockturn Alley, he checked at least five times as he was walking down here."

"Yeah, but we don't know why."

"It's all we can do. Someone will notice us in there."  
"They may notice you, but they won't notice me," Tonks changed her hair rapidly to black and switched her facial features."

"Tonks don't it's too dangerous."

"I'm an auror, Remus, it's my job. I'm just going to see where he went. I promise I won't follow him in any shops. I'll be back in a jiffy."

"Fine," Remus said as he knew there was no point in arguing. "Be back in five minutes or I'm coming in after you and if we get caught Mad-Eye will have both are heads."

"Only if the death eaters don't kill us first," Tonks winked and rushed down the alley.

Almost five minutes later Tonks returned to Diagon Alley to a rather nervous looking Remus. As she stopped in front of him she switched her hair to a brownish purple and changed her features back. "Told you I'd be fine," Tonks said as the two started walking back up the alley. "It took me a few minutes, but I found him. Walked past Borgin & Burkes and saw him through the window. There were a few others, couldn't make them out though, looked as though they were headed to the back."

"Good work," Remus approved. "At least we know where they're meeting."

"What I don't get is why they'd bother walking through Diagon Alley."

"Throw people off the track. Jugson's not really the most well known death eater, he's only been suspected recently, but he doesn't want anyone to think he has any connections. Probably afraid the ministry is staking out Knockturn Alley, best if he comes through Diagon Alley rather than apparating on his own or coming through the other entrance way. If weren't following him we never would have noticed he went through the exit to Knockturn Alley."

"Good point." They arrived at the brick wall that led into the Leaky Cauldron. "Want to grab a drink before we head off?" Tonks asked as Remus tapped the bricks and they moved into the pub.

"Err…I didn't bring any money with me today, perhaps some other time."

"Well, it's on me, don't worry about it."

"I could never ask you to pay for me, Tonks."

"Well, you're not asking, I'm offering, so I'll take that as a yes." Tonks plopped down at the nearest table and called to Tom for butterbeers. Remus sat down across from her. "Alright," he said giving up his argument, "but I'll be paying next time."

"Deal," Tonks responded trying to suppress the smile forming on her face when he said "next time."

"So, "Tonks began sipping her butterbeer. "You and Sirius are really close. Must have been weird for you to find him at the Order."

"Actually, no," Remus began.

"Really? You weren't surprised at all that he was innocent?"

"What I meant was I didn't meet him through the order."

"No?"

"No. I met him, well found him, two years ago when I was teaching at Hogwarts." Remus went on to explain how he saw Peter Pettigrew on the map, found Sirius in the shrieking shack, and then realized it really had been Peter all along who was working with the Dark Lord.

"Merlin that must've been awful!" Tonks exclaimed. "I mean good for Sirius being innocent and all, but awful for thinking Peter was innocent all those years, being your best friend, and his betraying you like that."

"Well, the people he really betrayed were Lily and James. He stole their lives from them. Sirius still hasn't forgiven himself."

"What's Sirius have to do with it? Peter was the one who gave them up to the Dark Lord."

"Yes, but Sirius was the one who convinced them to make Peter their secret keeper."  
"But he was just trying to protect them. He knew Voldemort would know James would trust him with it."  
"Yes, but he still blames himself. He knows even if Voldemort tortured him he never would have given in; he loved James and Lily too much. James and he were like brothers. He's never been the same without him."

"Must be horrible for the both of you."

"Life must go on," he said taking a deep breath. "We both have to be strong for Harry, especially Sirius." Both sat in silence taking sips of their butterbeers and staring around the room.

"So, err... what was your favorite class at Hogwarts?" Tonks asked trying to make conversation.

"I always liked Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Oh…right. I suppose that was a stupid question since you taught Defense Against the Dark Arts there."

"That really didn't have much to do with my liking the subject as much it did with Dumbledore being desperate for a teacher and my needing a job."

"Well, from what I've heard from Harry, Ron, and Hermione, you were the best one they've had."

"I enjoyed it," Remus smiled reminiscently.

"Must have been hard to resign."

"It was disappointing, but I knew once the parents found out the owls would start pouring in. I didn't want to cause Dumbledore any more trouble. He contacted me a little while after I left to ask for my help."

"Speaking of your help," Tonks said cautiously, "when's the next time you err…"

"The next full moon is in a week from now." Tonks didn't know how she respond so she just sipped her butterbeer. "So," Remus said breaking the silence, "what was your favorite subject? Defense Against the Darks as well I'm guessing? "

"Yes, Defense was one of my favorites, but Charms was also a favorite of mine too. Transfiguration always bored me. I had to waste my time learning spells and maneuvers to transform things when I could transform myself to look like almost anyone."

"I could see how that would be boring for you. Well," Remus said taking his last sip of butterbeer, "I suppose we ought to be heading back. Mad-Eye's waiting for us."

"I swear that man doesn't think I can take two steps without screwing up something."

"I don't think it's the fact that you're here. He just wants to know what we find out."

"He'd wait if it were anyone else," Tonks complained as they left the pub. "He just knows I'm clumsy and thinks I mess up everything. AHH!" Tonks gasped quickly as Remus grabbed her arm for the third time that day. She tripped over a crack in the sidewalk.

So, that was it. I hope you enjoyed it. I am going to update as often as I can. School starts Monday so it might be a bit difficult. Thanks for reading! Please leave me a review! :]


	12. Muggle Attire

So, I haven't updated this story for a little under a year. I have been working on this since my freshman year of high school, I believe, and although I stopped writing, I've always had this story in my mind, and can't shake it. So, I've decided to continue on with this story. I saw "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2," and seeing Remus and Tonks made me want to finish my story, to do them justice in my own form. Anyway, I hope that anyone who used to read this picks it up again, and some more people come and read from the beginning. I hope my writing continuously improves, so please review.

Chapter 12

Muggle Attire

The chill of November was setting in around Number 12 Grimmauld Place. The sky was consistently misty and damp, and the atmosphere inside of number 12 wasn't much of a relief. The house was so dreary, dark, and cold it was a wonder Sirius didn't drive himself mad. "First he's locked up in Azkaban for 12 years and now this," Tonks thought to herself as she walked through the long hallway to the kitchen, "not much of an improvement." Tonks quietly made her way through the kitchen door, and took her place at the long wooden table where the Order members were already seated. Although Tonks was certain she was not late, she didn't want to give Mad-Eye any reason to reprimand her; he hadn't scolded her for anything in almost two weeks, and Tonks was in no hurry to break this streak. She took her seat silently and waited for the meeting to begin. A few minutes later, after surveying the room, Mad-Eye rose from the table, his wooden leg creaking on the floor. "Good evening, all," he barked. "Dumbledore's not here, can't leave Hogwarts at the moment, not with that Umbridge woman around, so I'll be conducting the meeting today. We all know that aside from taking turns on guard duty, we've all been taking turns tailing Death Eaters that have been cited. We've had Remus and Nymphadora on Jugson," Tonks flinched at the sound of her name. "Hestia and Emmaline on Gibbon, and Arthur and Kingsley on Avery," Arthur and Kingsley nodded in unison. "Nothing much has turned up from these trackings. We know the Jugson's afraid of being tailed by the Ministry, so he's going through Diagon Alley to get to Knockturn Alley, Avery apparates to and from the same place each morning, but we can't pinpoint where he's going, and nothing's turned up on Gibbon. Besides this, we do have some more information from Emmaline," Mad-Eye nodded to her. "She's going to explain." Emmaline stood up, wrapping her crimson shawl more tightly around her shoulders. "Right," she began. I was doing some shopping by my flat, near Downing Street, and I noticed someone that I thought looked familiar and I realized that it was Avery; I guess we know where he's been apparating to. He walked into a muggle diner, and he met Crabbe and Goyle, and Nott. I didn't go inside, I only saw them through the window, so I couldn't hear them, but I did go to the same place for three days and saw them there every day. What worries me is that Downing Street is where the muggle Prime Minister is. I'm afraid I don't think it's coincidental that they are meeting so close."

"Thanks Emmaline," Mad-Eye said, as he stood up again. "Obviously this isn't a coincidence; I doubt our death Eaters are just meeting for breakfast. We need to find out what they are discussing. We need to find out where they are going after. We can't have them that close to the Prime Minister!"

Remus spoke up, "The last time Voldemort was in power he executed mass muggle killings. If he gets a hold of the Minister, tons of muggles will be in danger." Arthur then added, "They'd have no way of knowing anything was wrong. None of them know anything about You-Know-Who" Arthur still didn't want to used Voldemort's name, "they may suspect something's wrong, but they'll never figure it out."

"Right," Mad-Eye stated. "We need to follow them. Saturday morning. We'll be traveling in large group, we can't look suspicious. So dress is muggle attire, and make sure you have some place to store your wand. Emmaline has given me the coordinates of the diner, and we'll be able to walk there." All of the Order members nodded, ready for the next part of the directions. Right," Mad-Eye continued. The team will be myself, Arthur, Remus, Kingsley, and Tonks", Tonks was delighted he had remembered to use her surname. "Emmaline, you can't come because if something goes wrong we still need you to be able to tail them without getting noticed."

"Of course, Mad-Eye," Emmaline responded complacently.

"Be here Saturday morning at 6:30, we're leaving at 7:00 sharp, and we're not waiting for anyone," he glared at Tonks. Now, remember dress in muggle clothes. We can't stand out." Tonks wondered how exactly a group comprised of a tall black man, a man with flaming red hair, a man with scars on his face, a lone girl with changing hair colors, and a man with a magical eye and wooden leg had any hope of blending in. "So that means, no cloaks and no wands," he barked. "And remember about your wand…a secure place to put it, none of this back pocket business, no one remembers elementary wand safety," he glared at Tonks again. "And Nymphadora," he shouted down to her, "make sure your hair cooperates, none of this blue business," he was obviously referring to the blue streaks mixed into her dark brown hair. The meeting's over for tonight. Remember be here by 6:30 on Saturday," he turned to leave the table.

"Hey Mad-Eye," Tonks called, she had enough with his scolding her, "does your magical eye count as muggle attire? Don't think that's going to attract any attention do you?" Mad-Eye didn't even bother to give Tonks an answer. He muttered something about disrespect, and headed straight out the door. This was one of the only times that Molly hadn't made dinner after a meeting, and Tonks was rather gloomy about it. She enjoyed having dinner with the Order. She enjoyed the conversation, especially the one that often followed dinner with Remus and Sirius, and Molly's cooking was far superior to her own. As all the order members stood up and spoke to each other, Tonks watched Sirius head into the living room. He had a rather sullen look about him; Tonks knew it had to be the discussion of following the death Eaters. She knew how badly Sirius wanted to go, but it was far too dangerous. She followed him into the living room and caught him just as he was headed up the stairs to his room. "Heading in early?" She called.

"I need to feed Buckbeak," he replied gloomily.

"Well, I just thought I'd say goodbye."

"Goodnight," he gave a small wave.

"I suppose I'll see you Saturday morning, if you're awake when we leave." As soon as she spoke, Tonks realized what she said had been a mistake. Sirius was so sensitive about not being able to help the order more.

"Yeah," he responded coldly, "I'll be awake to watch you all leave." He turned to leave.

"Sirius," Tonks called again, walking toward him, "It's not going to be anything. It's not like we're fighting them. Honestly, I don't even think we're going to find out much. How are they not going to notice a ruddy group like us? I've got enough problems with muggles staring because of my hair, and now I've got a guy with a wooden leg and a magical eye walking around with me." This brought a slight smile to Sirius' face. "I don't know," he said, "Mad-Eye will probably have a whole story behind his eye. Always on his toes," he joked.

"Constant vigilance," Tonks responded as she headed out of the living room to the front door.

Saturday had come dreadfully slowly for Tonks, as Order things always did when she had to trudge through work. The only positive thing was that Scrimgeour and Fudge were so brainwashed into thinking that Voldemort wasn't back, that they were trying to avoid all confrontations that could point otherwise; they didn't want to have any arguments going on in the auror office since they should be the ones dealing with Voldemort's return. Tonks ran through the front door of Number 12 at 6:29. She had slept right through her alarm, and didn't wake up until her clock was blaring loudly enough to burst her eardrums. She stumbled through the hallway and was met with three pairs of eyes staring at her. She breathed a sigh of relief. Arthur hadn't arrived yet, she wasn't the last one. Her hopes were quickly dashed as Arthur entered the hallway through the kitchen closely followed by Mrs. Weasley.

"Good luck dear, and be careful," Mrs. Weasley said to her husband as she pulled his jacket closed and kissed him quickly.

"Well, since we're all here," Mad-Eye glared at Tonks, "we'll be setting off."

"I thought we weren't leaving until 7:00?" Tonks questioned.

"Being early isn't going to hurt Nymphadora, not that you would know." Tonks felt a twinge of anger. She composed herself quickly as she saw Sirius walking down the hallway. "Well," he stated glancing over all of them, "you lot have gotten on well with dressing like muggles, although," he started at Mad-Eye, "I'm not sure that eye of yours fits in too well."

"I've got that figured out, never you mind," Mad-Eye scolded.

Tonks hadn't even noticed what the others were wearing; she'd been too busy hoping they weren't angry with her for being the last one there. Arthur was wearing a very bright orange t-shirt that clashed horribly with his hair, with a light brown wool jacket over top, jeans, and large boots. Kingsley was dressed in a black pullover jacket and jeans with dress shoes; Remus was by far the most convincing, dressed in a light black sweater with a worn brown jacket over top, slacks, and dress shoes. Even Mad-Eye managed to make himself resemble a muggle, his wooden leg was cleverly hidden underneath black slacks, his large jacket definitely held room for his wand (and for lots of other non-muggle things Tonks was sure), his scarred face shadowed by a hat, and his magical eye covered with an eye patch, which Tonks knew perfectly well it could see right through. Tonks herself donned her normal t-shirt and ripped jeans. She did, however; opt for a plain purple t-shirt rather than her normal weird Sisters one; her hair was dark brown. They all looked suitable separately, but Tonks was unsure that they would look alright together.

Tonks's thoughts were interrupted by Mad-Eye's announcing their departure. She followed the four men outside where she met the freezing November air. As she stood there trembling, a thought struck her—she'd forgotten a jacket. She was going to have to traipse through London on a frigid November morning, which was only going to get colder as the day went on, in just her t-shirt. How could she have been so stupid? She was in such a rush that she ran out the door without one. She apparated to Grimmauld Square, so she didn't even notice how cold it was. Tonks knew that she would have to brave the cold. Mad-Eye would never allow her to return to her flat to get a jacket, and she was sure Sirius didn't have any in the house. She just told herself to hold it together and she would get scolding hot chocolate when she got home.

Mad-Eye led the group as they began their walk through London. The four men were talking, switching from the weather, to the muggle government, to a popular football team, and back to the weather again, all on Mad-Eye's orders, while Tonks walked slightly behind them. She tried to keep focused, but the cold was very inhibiting. She didn't know how much longer she could take it when Mad-Eye stopped to enter a convenience store; he wanted to make sure that they weren't being tailed. He encouraged that they all split off and wait a bit. Tonks wanted to go inside, but Mad-Eye didn't want them all in the same place. He and Kingsley walked in, Arthur was very interested in an electronics store two doors down with various sized TVs glowing in the windows. Tonks made her way to the curb and sat gloomily hugging her shoulders. She prayed to herself that the diner was close, but doubted it since Mad-Eye was going to so much trouble to check for people following them. He would never wait to check close to a destination. Tonks looked up as she saw a shadow on the ground looming over her.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Tonks chattered, as she tried to rub the goose bumps off or her arms.

"You look frozen," he remarked.

"No, I'm fine," Tonks stated.

"Ridiculous," he responded, "Look at your teeth chattering. Here take my jacket," he began to pull his worn jacket off of his shoulders.

"No, no," Tonks stuttered, "I'm fine."

"Tonks, don't be ridiculous, take it."

"No, really I'm er…I'm fine."

"Tonks, Molly will have our heads if we bring you back the house frozen, now please take it." He handed the old brown jacket over to her.

"I er… I really don't need it, you'll freeze!" She demanded.

"Ready to go." Mad-Eye stated rather than asked, as he and Kingsley exited the store. Tonks stood, and tried to hand the jacket back to Remus.

"I'll be fine, I don't get cold easily," he assured her. "It's almost like I have fur," he smiled and turned to walk behind Mad-Eye. Tonks smiled in return. She was glad the Remus could almost joke about his condition, it hadn't been that long ago when Tonks had discovered Remus' secret, and it had gone very badly.

Around twenty more minutes had passed and the group had finally reached the top of the street where the diner was located. Mad-Eye walked quickly down the street, passed the diner, and around the next street back to where the group was standing, looking through the diner's window with his magical eye, concealed by the patch. He reported that the Death Eaters were already seated a table inside the diner. "We have to go in," he reported. The group moved forward. "Stop," he yelled. "We can't all go in together. They'll notice. We don't exactly blend in together. No. Tonks you need to go in. You're too young for them to remember you. And," he scanned the group, "Remus you go in with her. None of them are aware of your…false allegiances," obviously he was referring to Remus' interacting with werewolves when he transformed to spy for the Order. "Are you sure you don't want to come, Mad-Eye?" Tonks questioned. She'd rather have Mad-Eye with her than scolding her for messing up later. "Of course not," Mad-Eye declared. "I've tracked them, and sent Avery to trial. They'd notice me in a second. Kingsley and Arthur are too well known in the ministry. You both go in. Keep a safe distance, and try your best to listen. And Remus" he added, "sit with your back facing them. They'd be more likely to recognize you than Tonks."

"Right," Tonks agreed starting toward the door, Remus behind her.

Tonks and Remus sat together at the bar near to the table where the Death Eaters were sitting in a corner. Tonks heart began to pound as she walked past them. She longed to just stun them all right then and there, to put an end to it, but she knew that wasn't an option. A stout, grumpy waitress with frizzy dirty blonde hair greeted them dismally and took their orders, blueberry pancakes for both of them. Tonks and Remus were too far away to hear anything the group was saying, and they couldn't risk moving any closer. "I don't know what to do," Tonks stated. "We can't move any closer, but we can't hear them. I'd like to just get them all right now. Maybe I could…er," she thought, "maybe I could walk past, pretend to lose my way to the bathroom."

"Here, we can try this," Remus said, pulling a flesh colored string out from him pocket. Tonks looked at it questioningly. "It's one of Fred and George's extendable ears," he responded to her puzzled expression. "They left a few lying about in their room at headquarters. Judging by some things they found out about the Order, I'd say if there's no protective magic, we should be able to hear." Remus carefully threaded the string down, and as close to the Death Eater's table as she could make it. Tonks leaned in to listen; she could only make out bits of the conversation. "How come we can only hear some of it?" She asked, moving her head away from the string, coming dangerously close to smacking Remus in the chin.

"I'd say it's a poorly performed imperturbable charm," he responded. "It's supposed to block out everything, but it's not fully functioning, performed by Crabbe or Goyle I'd expect." When their pancakes arrived they took turns eating and listening to what bits they could hear of the conversation.

Around a half hour later, the group of Death Eaters was leaving. Tonks and Remus had managed to understand that they were working on-ways to further torment muggles. They were also trying to figure out whom to get a hold of, but Tonks couldn't make out the name. Remus simply stated that the Order would have to keep a special watch on the muggle Prime Minister and his employees in case any of them were put under the imperius curse.

"We need to wait here," Remus stated, taking a sip of his orange juice. "I can't see how far down the street they've gone, and we can't let them see us following them. I expect Mad-Eye is hidden somewhere, along with Arthur and Kingsley."

"Right," Tonks stated, taking the last bite of her pancakes. "Well, at least we have some information to share with the Order. I just wish we could have heard the name."

"Well, like Emmaline said, it's no accident they're meeting this close to the Prime Minister. My bet is they are going to try and get someone in his office. He'd be able to find out everything about the muggles, but he wouldn't be directly in the spotlight."

"It's just going to be difficult to watch out for it without being caught," Tonks said. "I suppose we should keep up with the muggle news. If Fudge would just listen we could get a ministry official on the inside, maybe someone in the muggle relations office."

"It certainly would make things a lot easier, but unfortunately, for right now we're going to have to keep it to ourselves. If Fudge finds out what we think, he's going to end up accusing Dumbledore of conspiring with the muggles."

"That's mad, makes no sense at all. Dumbledore would never endanger the muggles."

"Fudge is going mad…with fear," Remus said. He knows Dumbledore's the better wizard, and he can't stand the thought of losing his position to him. If people find out You-Know-Who's," Remus whispered this as he glanced around the diner, "back, they'll want Dumbledore in office straight away. He's the only one You-Know-Who has ever feared." Tonks nodded in agreement. She knew Fudge was desperate to keep his position, but she couldn't believe that people were trusting someone who was putting his own desire for power ahead of their safety.

"Well," Remus said, "I suppose it's alright to leave now. It's been about ten minutes, they should have gone." Tonks leaned forward to pick up the check, but Remus pulled it away from her. "No," he said, "I'll get it. Remember, you got it last time?"

"Oh yeah," Tonks said, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, it's fine." He handed the money to waitress, and they headed out the door to meet Mad-Eye, Arthur, and Kingsley.

"We need to split up," Mad-Eye barked as Tonks and Remus came out of the diner. "Tonks, Remus, Arthur, you head down this street and back the way we came. Kingsley and I will go the opposite way and cross back over a few streets down from here. If anyone gets attacked, keep moving!"

On the way back to Grimmauld Square Tonks, Remus, and Arthur talked about Quidditch. Arthur was telling Tonks all about the Quidditch world cup the previous summer. She hadn't been able to get tickets. After Quidditch, their discussion went to Hogwarts. "Well, my favorite class was muggle studies," Arthur continued, "but I also had a knack for charms. I used er…I used to help Molly study before our charms tests," he smiled as he reminisced. "Remus, I fancy Defense Against the Dark Arts was a favorite of yours."

"Yes," Remus responded. "I did have a knack for Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"A knack?" Arthur replied. "From what I've heard from the boys and Ginny, you were the best Defense teacher they've had."

"Well thank you," Remus tried to suppress his crooked smile as his cheeks gained the slightest tinge of red.

The group had finally reach Grimmauld Square. They were ushered into the kitchen of Number 12 for hot chocolate by Molly as soon as they entered the front door. Arthur left a few minutes afterward, he had to head to the office to check in on some regurgitating toilets. "Tonks," Molly asked as she handed her a mug of hot chocolate, "were you wearing that the whole time?"

"No," Sirius responded stepping into the kitchen with a bowl in his hands. "It's Remus'. I think he's had it since before we left school." He walked to the sink, "I'm just getting some water for Buckbeak," he walked back out of the kitchen with the filled bowl in his hands.

"Remus!" Molly screamed. "You've been outside in this weather without a jacket! I'll have to make sure yours is extra hot," she waved her wand over his mug. Tonks and Remus forcibly sat at the kitchen table drinking their hot chocolate. "So," Tonks said between sips, "what sort of creatures did you teach about at Hogwarts?"

"Well, with Harry's class we began with a boggart and we also worked on grindylows and red caps. And then of course I was absent one day and Severus took it upon himself to have them study werewolves. Amazingly only one of the students, Hermione Granger, Harry's friend, figured it out."

"From what I've heard, she's the smartest in her year," Tonks said.

"I would say so, although with all the information Severus gave to them, I'm quite shocked she was the only one." The was silence as the two sipped their hot chocolate.

"Why…why did you resign?"

"The night I found Sirius, I was rushing to the Shrieking Shack. I had the Marauder's Map, and I saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione were there with him. I knew I had to find them before someone got hurt, and in my haste I forgot to take my Wolfsbane potion. I transformed, and it was only a matter of time before the owls started pouring in for my resignation. I couldn't do that to Dumbledore. He'd done so much for me."

"I'm sure Dumbledore would have spoken to them, convinced them you were alright."

"Oh, there is no doubt to me that he would have, but I couldn't put him through all that. He helped me, and gave me a job; I couldn't put him through more trouble."

"Well, I'm sorry you had to stop teaching. You seemed to be a wonderful teacher."

"Well, thank you. I did rather enjoy it." Remus had a slight sadness to his face. "I never thought much about a career path. When I finished school Voldemort was rising to power, and people were ostracizing creatures like me." Tonks couldn't believe that he called himself a creature. She wanted to argue with him, but she didn't want to upset him. She knew it must have been very difficult for him to discuss.

"Well," she said, "maybe when Fudge decides to listen to the truth, and they realize that they need a teacher who knows what he's doing, they'll come back to you."

"I very much doubt that with the High Inquisitor present," he laughed. "I have heard she is the best thing that has happened to Hogwarts." Tonks didn't really know how to respond. She knew that the chance of Remus ever getting a job teaching again was very slim, but she wanted to give him some hope. After taking a final sip of his tea, Remus stood and took his cup to the sink. "Well," he said. "I think I'll be heading upstairs. I have some things to look over for Dumbledore."

"See you later," Tonks responded.

A few minutes later, Tonks realized that she was still wearing Remus' jacket. She pulled it off and she walked upstairs to his room. She stopped short of his room because she heard him and Remus talking.

"So, how'd you make it all that way without your jacket, Moony?" Sirius questioned.

"I wasn't that cold."

"Wasn't that cold. Moony, you're cold during the summer. I don't think I've ever seen you without long sleeves."

"Well, I hardly think that telling her I would freeze without it would have persuaded her to take it, Padfoot."

"Oh Moony, forever the golden boy. The nice little gentleman."

"Knock, knock," Tonks interrupted, knocking on Remus' door and letting herself inside. "I forgot to give this back to you, thanks so much for letting me use it," as she handed Remus his jacket her hand brushed his. It was frozen.

Well, that was it. I'm getting back into the swing of the story, trying to get Remus and Tonks' relationship in full swing. Please review, thanks! :]


	13. The Ministry of Magic Christmas Ball

So, since I've started up with my story again, I am trying to update as often as possible because that was my downfall last time. I know the story is getting long, and trust me, there are many chapters to come, but I hope you'll stick with me. :]

Events in this chapter are very off canon, but I really wanted this chapter and have been planning for it since I came up with the idea for this story.

Disclaimer: All of this belongs to JK Rowling. I'm just giving my take on her characters' stories.

The First Annual Ministry of Magic Christmas Ball

December had crept its way into view, and the days only became colder with the prospect of snow growing higher each day. The member s of the Order of the Phoenix were seated around the kitchen table at number 12 Grimmauld Place, with building plans spread out along the table, wands pointing in several directions.

"The problem is," Mad-Eye growled, "that the department of mysteries contains so many things. It's not only getting inside the department itself. It's finding out where it is within."

"Well that's we we've got the plans isn't it?" Tonks said. "Hopefully, we'll be able to figure out exactly where it's located."

"It's not that simple," Remus stated looking down at the plans. "Supposedly things don't stay in one place for very long."

"Remus is right," Emmaline commented. "I used to be very good friends with an unspeakable. I needed her to get time turners for me, I needed to draft legislation on their use, she mentioned how tough it was to get them; the doors within change very often. It's very difficult to keep track."

"Well, we're not going to get anywhere staring at this tonight," Mad-Eye barked standing up from the table. We'll end the meeting for now. We'll be in touch with the next one."

The rest of the Order members followed Mad-Eye, and moved away from the table. Mrs. Weasley flicked her wand and the rolls of building plans rolled themselves up and zoomed into a cupboard in the corner of the kitchen.

"I know we started the meeting a little late tonight," Mrs. Weasley told everyone, "so most of us have already eaten, but I'll make some tea for anyone that would like some."

A few people piped up saying that they would like some tea. "I'd like some, Molly," Tonks said.  
"Sure, deary."

"Would you like any help?" Tonks asked. Some of the Order members had left, and the ones remaining we're conversing among themselves.

"Oh no thank you, dear," Mrs. Weasley gushed rather quickly, turning the china away from Tonks. "I've got it."

"Are you sure, Molly? You always do all the cooking, I'd love to help."

"No, no, it's really no trouble at all."

"Tonks," Sirius called from the entrance to the hall. "Would you like to join me for a game of chess? I've just found my dad's old set in a closet upstairs."  
"Er…sure," Tonks said following Sirius. "I'm not very good though."

Tonks and Sirius sat down in the empty living room; all the order members were still in the kitchen. Tonks seated herself on the lumpy sofa as Sirius placed the chess set on the coffee table and pulled up a chair for himself.

"White moves first," he pointed to her.

Several minutes, and down quite a few white chessmen, Tonks was commanding her lone castle to move forward three spaces to take out one of Sirius knights.

"You don't want to do that," Remus said matter-of-factly as he came into room from the kitchen with two tea cups in his hand, and one following behind him in midair. He took a seat, placing one teacup next to Tonks; the flying one zoomed next to Sirius, and took a sip of his own. "No, if you move your castle there, his other knight is going to get your queen." Tonks looked at the board. Sure enough, Remus was right.

"What should I move then?" Tonks had very few pieces left on the board.

"I would move your pawn, it's not going to get you anything, but it'll force Sirius to move something which will help you."

"Well, thank you Remus," Tonks said instructing her pawn to move.

"No helping, Remus," Sirius said now concentrating on which piece to move. He chose to move his bishop, which didn't taking anything from Tonks. Tonks followed his move by picking up her own bishop.

"You don't want to do that either," Remus stated. "Your queen will be open for his castle."

"Which one should I move?" Tonks asked looking up at Remus. He bent closer to the board, slightly frowning.

"Move your queen." Tonks did as she was told.

"Quiet yourself, Remus," Sirius shot at him. He was now concentrating again.

The game had ended shortly after. With Remus silenced Tonks didn't stand a chance, Sirius had destroyed her.

"Well played, Sirius."

"Thank you, Tonks."

"Why not play a game against Remus? I'd like to watch people who actually know what they're doing."  
"Oh, I'm going to pass on that," Sirius said dismissively. "We'd be here all night." Tonks was very puzzled at his statement. "Remus takes too long to think about things."

"I am just very logical, and I like to think about the moves that I make," Remus defended himself.

"We used to play in the common room over Christmas, I never wanted to go home," Sirius added. "It would take ages to play Remus."  
"May I remind you, Padfoot," Remus said, "who won all of those games."

"Oh yes, Remus, the chess champion. At least we had you to teach Wormtail," Sirius tried not to grimace.

"Peter wasn't a very good chess player?" Tonks asked trying to keep the conversation light.

"Peter was awful. Didn't have a clue what any of the pieces were called," Sirius stated. "James and I didn't have the patience for him. We made Remus teach him."

"Yes," Remus agreed. "During break I stayed in and taught Peter chess, while Sirius and James went outside and flew."

"I thought you weren't on the Quidditch team?"  
"I wasn't, but James needed someone to try and block the quaffle when Evans was around."

"James quite enjoyed showing off whenever Lily was around. I think he considered playing Quidditch in blizzard conditions to be quite the spectacle for her to witness," Remus smiled his crooked smile warmly at Tonks as he remembered.

The week had been long for Tonks as it always was when she was working, and she was looking forward the Order meeting that night. Although, it would obviously be better for the Order not to be reformed and Voldemort not to be at large again, Tonks enjoyed being a part of something that was going to try and stop him. When Tonks arrived in her flat, she noticed her owl, Dottie, waiting on her windowsill.

"Wotcher, Dottie," she said as she threw open the window and let the owl hop inside. "Hold still," she said struggling to remove the envelope from the squirmy owl. Once Tonks retrieved the envelope, she handed Dottie a treat, which the owl happily took to her cage. Tonks sat down at her small kitchen table and tore open the thick yellow envelope, she could tell by that and by the hunter green ink, that it was from the Ministry of Magic. Half expecting a letter from Scrimgeour firing her, Tonks felt relieved and slightly confused when she read the first line of what appeared to be an invitation.

_The Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, _

_Requests your presence at the first annual _

_Ministry of Magic Christmas Ball._

_The ball will be held on Saturday evening,_

_December 12, 1995 at 7 o'clock p.m_

_In the atrium at the Ministry of Magic _

_Headquarters in London._

_You may bring along with you one guest, and must _

_Provide his or her name in advance._

_Formal dresses and dress robes are to be worn._

_Kindly, R.S.V.P no later than_

_Tuesday, December 8__th__, 1995._

Tonks was dumbfounded as she read the invitation through again. A Ministry of Magic Ball? What was Fudge playing at? There were much more important things to worry about. Without giving it another thought, Tonks shouted goodbye to Dottie, flung the front door open, and headed to Grimmauld Square two hours before the meeting was scheduled to begin.

Tonks stomped into the kitchen of number 12 where she found that she was not the only one who had decided to come to meeting early. Half the order was gathered in the kitchen.

"What the bloody hell is this?" Tonks said as she slammed the invitation down on the kitchen table.

"You got yours too?" Arthur said.

"Yes!" Tonks replied. "Is Fudge mad? Why in Merlin's name would he do something like this?"  
"This is exactly the type of thing that we should have been expecting Fudge to do," Remus said seated at the other end of the table.

"Remus is right," Arthur added. "We should have known this was coming."

"It just seems so…frivolous. There're so many other things going on" said Emmaline hesitantly.

"It is," growled Mad-Eye who had just turned up in the kitchen.

"But Fudge doesn't want people to know that anything else is going on," Remus added. "He wants people to believe that he has the time to be planning something like this because there's nothing else to worry about."

"He can't honestly think that people are that thick," Tonks said exasperatedly. "People aren't really going to believe that he's chosen this year on a whim."

"Perhaps, not," Remus answered, "but some people are following Fudge and the prophet very closely. They're going to believe what they want to believe."

"I just don't see how he can justify this. I mean, what's the point of it anyway?"  
"It's actually a rather clever plan," Remus responded. "He's invited everyone from the Ministry and their spouses, or at least that's what the prophet reported this morning. That's hundreds of wizards. He's going to have them all together, all under his control. He's trying to get as many people on his side as possible."

"Well, it's not as if anyone in the Ministry has a choice. We're not allowed to support anything other than what Fudge says."  
"Yes, but he's trying to lull everyone into a false sense of security," Kingsley, who had been standing quietly in the corner, added.

There were several moments of heavy breaths, especially from Tonks.

"So Tonks," Sirius asked making his way toward her, "will you be attending this delightful affair?"

"I most certainly will not!"

"Oh yes you will!" Mad-Eye shouted back.

"No I won't, Mad-Eye. I've got no reason to go. I won't believe Fudge no matter what he does, and I'm not allowed to talk with the only people I like in the ministry because they're in the Order and we can't evoke suspicion," she quoted the last two words.

"You are going, Nymphadora!"  
"Don't call me that."

"Fudge is going to be viewing every person that responds. He's going to be suspicious of anyone that doesn't go."

"We all have to go, Tonks," Arthur said. "If we all don't show up he's going to question and watch us even closer, especially those of us who are openly close to Dumbledore."

"Fine," Tonks responded defeated.

After many hours of traipsing through Diagon Alley Wednesday morning, Tonks finally found a dress to wear to the ministry's ball. It was a long satin emerald green with very thin straps at the top. Tonks knew she shouldn't have put off buying one for so long, but she'd hoped the somehow she wouldn't need it. She ended up having to take half the day off work to find one. She had sent her R.S.V.P. in the day before, and was regretting it. She desperately wished that she could have found some way to get out of it, but Mad-Eye was not budging. And, if the other Order members had to suffer, why shouldn't she?

The Order was meeting again that night, and Molly had promised a fantastic dinner to anyone who decided to stay. However, Tonks wasn't prepared for the topic of conversation at the table that evening.

When Mad-Eye began the meeting, because once again Dumbledore was unable to come, he informed the members that they would be discussing the ministry's Christmas ball. Tonks knew since it had to do with the Ministry, they would have to talk about it, but she detested the idea of it. She didn't like balls, dances, or anything of the sort. First off, she wasn't much for dressing up, and second off she was dead clumsy. Tonks had problems walking; she was no good at dancing.

"As we know Friday is the Ministry's Christmas ball," Mad-Eye said. He was met with assorted "humphs" through the table. "We will need to be on our toes, constant vigilance. This would be the perfect time for anyone who's been waiting to strike. Everyone in the ministry will be in the atrium, and no one will be paying attention to anything going on in the Department of Mysteries. It won't take much for someone to slip away, especially someone like Lucius Malfoy."

"Malfoy doesn't work for the ministry though," Hestia added.

"Yes, but he's made too many generous contributions and is friends with too many people to not be there."  
"That will certainly be our advantage though," Tonks added. She was met with puzzled stares.

"Well if Malfoy's there, people will be expecting to see him at all times. If he's not there people will wonder."

"That's true, Tonks," Arthur added.

"Which means," Mad-Eye said, "that they might be using somebody, anybody else, to try and break in. We all saw what happened to Sturgis."

"So, Arthur, Molly, Hestia, Emmaline, and Kingsley," Mad-Eye said. You will all be attending the ball." They all nodded. "You will all need to take turns keeping an eye on any exits. If you see anything suspicious don't hesitate to follow, but don't get seen. Arthur, I'll be giving you one of my invisibility cloaks, Kingsley I'll give you the other. Hestia or Emmaline, if you see anything get in touch with one of them, so you can take the cloak. Remember; don't be too chummy with each other. You're all not supposed to be very good friends. Molly and Arthur will be together obviously, Hestia you stay with your crowd in international relations, and Emmaline you stay with yours in law enforcement. Kingsley and Tonks keep with the aurors, but don't talk much to each other," Mad-Eye growled, "Kingsley has a higher position than you, Tonks. All other Order members," he continued looking at everyone else. You are to come here that evening, unless otherwise detained. We'll all be waiting here in case anything catastrophic should occur. To those at the ball, communicate with us by patronus should you need any assistance."

"Well," Arthur piped up, "that'll end the meeting today. Everyone remember to be here on Friday, and Molly's made dinner for anyone who'd like to stay."

"And," Sirius added standing up, "anyone who wishes to come and stay after the ball, or who wishes to stay the night for patrol is welcome. They'll be plenty of room."

Tonks was so delighted at the prospect of staying at Grimmauld Place after the ball that it almost shook off the horrible feeling still lingering in her stomach at the idea of going. Mad-Eye interrupted Tonks's thoughts when he asked her to come into the hallway with him.

"Nymphadora," he began sternly, but Tonks cut him off, "Mad-Eye if you call me that one more time I will hex right here in front of everyone and have no regret."

"Hush, Tonks," he added her surname. "I need to talk to you about the ball because you have a particularly important role to play." Tonks looked at him blankly. "We are going to use your obvious skills for blending in to our advantage. You can push yourself around the ball without being noticed too much. We need you to go down to the Department of Mysteries on occasion and check to make sure no one is there. "

"Me?"

"Yes, you. We can't have everyone going because people will get suspicious. You can blend in easier. You're not taking anyone are you?"

"No, I didn't have time to really think about anyone to take." Tonks replied mournfully. She would have liked to share the horrid evening with someone else who could share her pain.

"Good, don't change that. You need to be on your toes and we don't need someone following you around the whole time, and Order members are out of the question. Tonks," he looked at her seriously. "You were my best protégé," Tonks smiled at Mad-Eye. "Thank you, M…," Tonks began, but he silenced her with his hand. "You're excellent at concealment and disguise, best I've seen. You need to blend in, I can't stress that enough. Do not draw attention to yourself in any way. Be on your toes; use your common sense, constant vigilance."

"I will Mad-Eye, I promise."

"Right, well back in for dinner," he gestured her back into the kitchen.

Luckily for Tonks, the idea of the ball didn't come up much throughout dinner. All of the Order members decided to stay for dinner, which as usual was fantastic, and a few stayed around for coffee and tea afterwards. Tonks had made her way to the lumpy couch in the living room and planted herself on it. She sat forward and placed her face in the palms of her hands. She was glad that Mad-Eye had trusted her, but the stress if her job, the Order, and this stupid ball was really getting to her. She was very sleepy, and now very anxious as a thought hit her. Tonks couldn't dance, she'd never really tried, but she knew she'd be just awful. She didn't know the first thing about it. She heard Molly saying goodbye to Hestia when Sirius sat down next to her.

"Alright there, Tonks?" He questioned placing his hand on her back.

"No, not really," said Tonks wearily.

"What's the problem?"

"I'm just worried over this stupid ball." She decided to tell Sirius what Mad-Eye had told her. "He just kept saying how much I needed to blend in…"

"Well, you've got obvious advantages," he brushed his hand over her hair.

"But I'm not good at things like this. Sirius you know how I dress, and I'm dead clumsy. I haven't got the first clue about dancing.

"Well, I can't help you much with dressing, never had a liking for women's clothing myself" Sirius said, "but I think I might be able to help you with dancing."

"Sirius, you can teach me!"

"What are you mad? Sirius asked laughing. "No, I can't, but Remus probably can. Remus," he called to Remus as he was walking up the stairs. "We need your assistance." Remus made his way back down and over to Sirius and Tonks.

"Remus knows how to dance?"  
"Yes, Remus, the golden boy, knows how to dance," Sirius joked.

"Can you help me Remus?" Tonks practically pleaded. "I'd have a right awful time blending in if I'm falling all over the place.

"Certainly," he said. "Padfoot, can I move the table?"

"Certainly," Sirius said flicking his wand which pushed the table toward the wall. He took a seat on the couch. "I'll be watching of course," he added crossing his arms. "To make sure you're in form." He cracked a smile, which Remus and Tonks returned.

"Alright Tonks," Remus said positioning himself in front of her. "Place your left hand on my shoulder," Tonks did as she was told. Remus told hold of her waist in his right hand. "Now place you right hand in my left," he held out his hand. Tonks couldn't quite explain the feeling she got when placing her hand in his, or why he cheeks suddenly became flushed. She needed to focus on the dance.

"Now," he said kindly, "I will lead and you will follow me. So, I will put my left for forward, and you will put your right foot back, that's right," he nodded at Tonks encouragingly. "Next, I will step to the right, and you will step to the left. Very good. Now I will step together and you will step together. Excellent. Now let's see if you can put them together." It turned out, she couldn't. She clunked around in her boots, but couldn't seem to get her feet to move in the right way. "It's alright, you're getting it," Remus encouraged. Just at that moment, when Tonks thought perhaps she was getting better, she felt Remus foot underneath her own, she has stepped right on top of it. He let out a small, undistinguishable noise.

"I'm so sorry!" Tonks gushed stopping abruptly, which forced Remus to grip her more tightly so she wouldn't topple backward. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Remus answered laughing; he really did have a very nice laugh.

"Of course he's not alright," Sirius said playfully, "You stomped clean on his foot." Tonks shot him a dirty look.

"Let's pick up again," Remus said. "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two three, very good." Tonks actually thought she might be getting the hang of it.

"Don't look at your feet," Remus said. "You'll make yourself dizzy." Tonks obeyed and pulled her head to face Remus. "One, two, three, one two, three," he continued. Tonks couldn't help but start to laugh, and Remus joined in with her. His crooked smile opened slightly as his throaty laugh escaped. Tonks really liked his smile. Looking this closely at him, Tonks could really see the scars on his face, especially the deep one near his neck. However, she was drawn to his eyes; they were a warm, inviting blue. He really was rather handsome. She knew that her cheeks were very warm and was praying that her hair hadn't changed its shade.

"I think you've got it," Remus said stopping moving his feet.

"Huh?" Tonks hadn't been paying attention. She'd been focusing on making sure her hair stayed the same shade. She tripped forward, but since Remus was still holding her hand, so she was able to replant her feet on the ground.

"I think you'll be fine," Remus said smiling at her.

"Thanks so much for teaching, Remus," Tonks said. "It'll be really useful to not, well to not trip all over myself at the ball." She smiled back at him, rather stupidly she admitted, but at least he was still smiling back.

Tonks barreled through the front door of number twelve and rushed up the stairs without speaking to anyone. She could hear Molly and Arthur in the kitchen, and saw a flash of Sirius in the living room, but she hadn't stopped to speak a word to anyone. She had taken a nap late in the day because she couldn't fall asleep the night before. She had again, overslept her alarm and realized she didn't have any time to get ready. She grabbed all of her things and dashed to Grimmauld Place where she had planned to get ready. Of course, she didn't have to deal with fixing her like most women, but she still wanted to dress nicely and look presentable. The last thing she needed was Mad-Eye scolding her for not looking lady-like enough.

Downstairs Sirius was waiting in the living room with Mad-Eye when Remus walked in the front door. "Everyone's still here?" He asked glancing at his watch as he took off his traveling cloak. "I thought everyone would have gone by now."

"Well, they would have, but you know Tonks is involved," Sirius added.

"She hasn't arrived yet?" he asked

"She came in, ran straight up the stairs, haven't seen her since," Sirius answered.

A few moments after, Tonks emerged on the stairs. She was walking very slowly, trying desperately not to trip the heeled shoes she decided to wear. She'd changed her hair to brown and given it long loose curls that fell below her shoulders. Her emerald green dress was a tad too long (she hadn't had time to get it tailored), but she managed in her heels. She noticed that Sirius, Remus, and a newly arrived Mad-Eye were watching her descend; she did not like having them watch her. It only increased the likelihood that she would fall.

"You look lovely, Tonks," Sirius said.

"Thanks Sirius," Tonks said as she made it to the bottom of the stairs.

"You look beautiful, Tonks," Remus added as Tonks made her way across the living room.

"Thank you, Remus," Tonks said, feeling her cheeks flush again. "Hopefully I won't trip over my dress and put all your hard work teaching me to waste."

"Who will be escorting you this evening?" Sirius asked.

"No one," Tonks responded flatly. "I would have loved to have taken you, Sirius."  
"Oh yeah, what a sight that would be, me walking into the Ministry."

"I think it would been rather fun to see Fudge's reaction. The invitation said I could bring someone. Said nothing about leaving our escaped convicts at home." Tonks smiled cheekily.

"You could have taken Remus."

"Sirius, I highly doubt that the ministry would approve of Tonks's showing up with something like me. Not very fond of us really."

"I wasn't allowed to being anyone from the Order, Mad-Eye's orders." Tonks was taken aback that Remus had just referred to himself as "something," but she didn't have time to respond because Mrs. Weasley came rushing in followed by Mr. Weasley, Hestia, and Emmaline.

"Oh Tonks!" Mrs. Weasley gushed. "You look lovely!"

"Thanks, Molly," Tonks responded giving Mrs. Weasley a hug. "You look beautiful."  
"Oh thank you," she blushed slightly. Mrs. Weasley was wearing a light pink dress with short sleeves and gold specs shining all over it. Her ginger hair was sleek and done up very nicely, Tonks suspected some sort of potion. She wouldn't know anything about it, she never bothered with such things. "It's very old, but it has to do. We didn't really have the money to go out and buy anything new," she blushed again.

"It looks stunning Molly," Tonks said sincerely taking Mrs. Weasley's hands in hers. "And Hestia and Emmaline, you look beautiful as well." Hestia was wearing a long black dress with long sleeves, and Emmaline was wearing a long crimson dress with thick straps and a matching shawl draped over her shoulders.

"Yes, yes," we all look stunning," said Mad-Eye as he came forward. "You need to start leaving now. Five minute intervals, all separately. Molly and Arthur, you first." Mrs. and Mrs. Weasley waved goodbye as they went out the front door.

"Tonks!" Mad-Eyed called and pulled her to the side. "Remember what I told you. On your toes, blend in. Here," he thrust a cloak in her hand—one of his invisibility cloaks. "Use this when you go down to the Department of Mysteries."

"Of right, Mad-Eye," Tonks said half laughing, "I'll just shove this down the front of my dress."  
"I've always told you wear accommodating…" but this time Tonks cut him off. "Oh, calm down Mad-Eye. I'll put it in my bag." Carefully she placed the invisibility cloak inside her handbag which she had charmed to allow more room. Tonks was the last one to leave. Sirius had gone upstairs to feed Buckbeak and Mad-Eye, Elphias, and Dedalus had seated themselves in the living room. Remus walked behind Tonks to ensure the door was properly secure.

"Tonks," he said as she was leaving, "you really do look beautiful." Tonks knew for certain then her cheeks were bright red. "Just remember, back, side, together."

"I will."

"Have a wonderful time." With that Tonks walked out onto Grimmauld Square and apparated to the visitor's entrance at the ministry they were required to use.

When Tonks arrived in the atrium she was met with a scene of colors completely surrounding her. Under other circumstances she would have enjoyed looking at all the couples talking and dancing, but she knew she had other things to do. She caught sight of Lucius Malfoy and his wife Narcissa, who was wearing a long elegant golden dress. She stayed a few paces behind them as they twisted through the crowd. However, she felt safe to stop when they met with Fudge at the front of the atrium and sat at the head table with him. Tonks really had no clue where to go. She was supposed to stay with the aurors, and blend in, but aside from Kingsley, she didn't really know that many aurors. They were never able to work together, so Tonks never got a chance to meet many of them.

"Tonks!" Kingsley called as she walked by.

"Wotcher, Kingsley," she replied.

"You look lovely."

"Thanks, you look rather handsome yourself."

"Care to dance?"

"Er…sure," she said hesitantly as Kingsley led her to the floor. She mentally pictured the steps that Remus had taught her as Kingsley led her to the dance floor. When Kingsley took her hand, she counted one, two, three, one, two, three as they moved along the floor. Surprisingly, she only tripped once. She tried her best not to look at her feet because, as promised, she felt dizzy. Luckily, Kingsley was very easy to talk to, and he had a lot of interesting stories to tell about being an auror when they still were catching dark wizards. Even though Tonks was having a nice time dancing with Kingsley, she felt slightly disappointed when she'd force her head up, away from her feet, and Remus' smile wasn't waiting there.

After several dances with Kingsley, and successfully remaining standing the whole time, Tonks excused herself. She scanned the crowd in search for other members of the Order, and after spotting all of them; she decided it was her turn to head downstairs. As she walked past a group of people, she knew for a fact were friendly with Lucius Malfoy, she changed her appearance very quickly. Her hair shortened itself a little and turned jet black, and her face became much paler. She tried to listen to snippets of their conversation as she passed, but they weren't saying anything interesting. Finally, she reached one of the lifts. Quickly she reached into her bag and pulled out Mad-Eye's invisibility cloak. She stepped into the shadows and flung it over herself. Tonks dashed into the lift, and made her way down to the Department of Mysteries.

After arriving, Tonks made a couple of checks and determined that for now everything was safe, and she returned upstairs. Just as she slipped back into the atrium, Fudge had gotten up at the front, standing at the head of his table, and magnified his voice.

"I hope you all are enjoying the ball this evening," he was greeted with applause. Tonks reluctantly joined. "I assure you it is most wonderful to see you all having such a lovely time. It is so important to our community that during this time we all stand together. Your support of the Ministry of Magic is most appreciated. I won't hold you up any longer. I hope that you enjoy the rest of the evening." Applause erupted again, and Fudge took his seat at the head table.

The dancing continued well into the night. Tonks periodically slipped out of the atrium down to the Department of Mysteries, each time seeing that everything was in order. After her final trip, Tonks noticed that the couples had started to dwindle and decided soon she should would be able to leave too. Looking out onto the center of the dance floor, Tonks saw Molly and Arthur—Molly's head on Arthur's chest, and their arms wrapped around each other. Seeing Molly and Arthur made Tonks smile. It was so wonderful to see that even through all that was happening love still existed in the world. It did more than merely exist. It kept people together. After one final dance with Kingsley, Tonks deduced that it was safe to leave. Kingsley was headed down to the Department of Mysteries, where he was on guard duty for the rest of the night. Molly and Arthur had already gone home.

At quarter past one, Tonks stumbled into Number 12. She couldn't wait to go upstairs and fall asleep under the warm burgundy sheets. As she walked through the living room on the way up the stairs, she noticed that most of the Order had gone.

"Did you have a nice time," said a voice that startled Tonks.

"Oh…err, yeah," Tonks said turning to see Remus sitting on a chair in the corner sipping tea. "Has everyone gone off to bed already?" She asked.

"Molly and Arthur stopped in, but they went back home. Elphias is staying, but found a number of jinxes in his room that Sirius is upstairs trying to fix. Mad-Eye also went home. He wanted to check the anti-entrance jinxes he put around it. Dedalus went up to bed, Hestia came home around an hour ago and went right up to bed, Emmaline went straight home, and Kingsley sent word by patronus a few minutes ago that you were leaving and would be home shortly, so I volunteered to wait up.

"Well, thank you." Remus smiled in return.

Tonks headed up to bed, unable to get that crooked smile out of her head as she drifted off to sleep.

So, that was it for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed. I know it's not canon, but I really wanted to add it, and hopefully I did a decent job with it. :] The next chapter should be coming out fairly soon. :}


	14. A Silver Intruder?

So, I'm back again. I hope you all enjoyed the last two chapters. I know it had been a really long time since I updated, and if any old readers returned, and even better went back and reread, I thank you so much. :]

I'm trying to keep this as canon as possible, but I am taking creative licensing on some things, especially if I'm not sure about them because they weren't focused on or really mentioned in the books.

Enough of my jibber jabber, on to the next chapter!

Chapter 14

A Silver Intruder?

Thankfully, the ball had gone off without a hitch. No one had tried to make his way into the Department of Mysteries, the prophecy was still safe, and Tonks had managed to stay on her feet the entire evening.

Work had been almost unbearable the Monday afterward. All people seemed to talk about was the stupid ball, how nice everyone looked, how great it was to see so and so's husband, and how it was so wonderful to have everyone together. Tonks couldn't stand it, but luckily she was so immersed in paperwork, she really didn't have to pay that much attention.

If work was unbearable, the prophet was ten times worse. They made the ball out to be such a spectacular evening. There must have been ten or eleven articles about it. Tonks couldn't understand how something this insignificant was causing such a stir among the wizarding community. She supposed Fudge got his wish. Even more people were eating out of the palm of his hand. Tonks shoved her head inches away from her reports any time he came anywhere close to her desk. She couldn't stand to look at his smug expression.

Despite all the news and conversation about the ball, work went along as normal, dull as ever. Tonks lived for the Order meetings when she got to feel useful. She longed for the evenings that she spend in the Order's company, the dinners Molly made, and the conversations she had with Sirius and Remus afterward, even if they, well Sirius, made fun of her for being a Hufflepuff. She remembered a conversation they just had a few nights previously.

"You all really did get into a lot of trouble at Hogwarts," Tonks acknowledged after hearing another story about the Marauders. "Makes what I did seem just fine."

"Oh Tonks," Sirius said, "don't tell me you were a trouble maker too."

"On occasion," Tonks responded as she sipped her tea. "I wasn't too bad. I did get a note sent home once though."

"What warranted that?" Remus asked.

"Well, this girl, she always bothered me. Made fun of me for my hair, and my clumsiness," she added. "So, when she was coming out of transfiguration I decided to jump out from behind a suit of armor kind of resembling a teacher, and well, she got so frightened that she slipped backward and ended up in the hospital wing with a broken arm. " She sipped her tea again. "I felt awful afterward. I mean she wasn't supposed to get hurt, just a little… jolted is all. I got a howler from my mum the next day. I never tried to use 'my being a metamorphmagus to hurt others,'" she quoted. But, she never tried to mess with again," Tonks smiled.

"Sounds like something we did," Sirius added.

"You got someone into the hospital wing?"  
"No, but we almost hurt someone, almost killed really," Tonks looked shocked. "Shame James wouldn't go through with it."

"Padfoot," Remus glared at him. "That's not funny. Severus really could have died and you, James, and Peter could have been expelled." Tonks could tell that Remus looked pained by this.

"What happened?" Tonks asked.

"Remus was transformed and James and I thought it would rather funny if Snivellus met him in the shrieking shack. He was so nosy, always trying to figure out where Remus was. If he found out and happened to die in the process, well that was his own fault," Sirius stated. Remus looked almost sick. Tonks was sorry she asked about it.

"But," Sirius continued, "James chickened out and saved Snivellus before he met Remus. Snivellus found out about Remus' furry little problem, but Dumbledore made him swear not to tell."

"Well," Tonks said trying to change the subject and the mood of the room, "I've never done anything that…extravagant," she added after some thought. "A lot of the things I got in trouble for were because I'm so clumsy. I'd hit into things, be out of bed after hours and smash into something and filch would find me, drop pots in Herbology. You know the black lake?" She asked them. They both nodded in return. "I fell in it first week at school. I was playing with a fanged Frisbee, and I reached up to grab it and tripped over my robes. McGonagall had to pull me out." They were both laughing.

"Well, that's a Hufflepuff for you," Sirius stated.

"C'mon Sirius," Tonks said, irritated. "Enough about my house."

Christmas was rapidly approaching, and Tonks had put off shopping even later than usual. She knew she'd hit the holiday rush, but she'd honestly just forgotten about shopping all together. A few days before Christmas, Tonks walked out of the Ministry building for the last time that year. She'd taken off of work until the New Year. Tonks was so excited at the prospect of sleeping in, and not doing any paperwork( she'd actually finished everything before she left), and spending time at Grimmauld Place with the Order—she just had to get through the rush at Diagon Alley first.

Tonks made her way through the Leaky Cauldron, and tapped the bricks in the back as she tried to think of all the people for whom she needed to get gifts. She hoped that as she browsed through the shops, ideas would just come to her. Upon entering Diagon Alley she met the chaos she knew she should expect a few days before Christmas. There were people everywhere looking over lists, running in and out of shops, and struggling with mountains of packages. The lines in most of the shops stretched out into the street. Tonks was so happy she'd finished with work until after the holidays. She knew it was going to be a long day and couldn't wait to return home and get herself some hot chocolate and a grilled cheese sandwich.

After shopping for several hours, Tonks miraculously was finished for Christmas. She stopped in the Leaky Cauldron and got a small fire whiskey while she looked over her purchases. She bought her mom, Andromeda, a cook book, she was always cooking, much like Mrs. Weasley. She bought her father, Ted, a book on the England National Quidditch team. Tonks and her father shared a love for Quidditch, although older, he could still fly very well and always played with Tonks whenever she came to visit. She bought Mrs. Weasley a biography of Celestina Warbeck, her favorite singer, and Mr. Weasley a book about muggles called "Magicless Muggles: How Muggles are Making it through the 20th Century without Magic." She bought Ginny a book on the Holyhead Harpies, and Fred and George a book of spells used for concealment and disguise; she knew they had a knack for creating products. She heard the Ron had become keeper for Gryffindor and bought him a book on Keeping techniques, Hermione a folder enchanted to fit all one's papers without getting any larger, and Harry a working model of a Firebolt. She bought Mad-Eye special cleaner for his eye that was supposed to stop it from sticking so much, cream to stop his wooden leg from creaking so much, and a book about Aurors' tactics from the most famous Aurors of the 18th and 19th centuries. She bought Remus his own chess set and Sirius a book of special household enchantments (to give him something to do while stuck in the house) and a book called "Helga's Hufflepuffs, where are they now: A Look at Famous Hufflepuffs and Their Contributions to Society. She couldn't wait to see his face when he opened that on Christmas morning.

Christmas was knocking at the door, and Tonks still hadn't wrapped any of her gifts. She promised herself she would do them the next day as she headed off into bed, the new Weird Sisters song playing in her head.

Tonks awoke in the middle of the night to a rapping at her door. At first, she brushed it off, but as it continued she grew more uneasy. After a few moments, she shot straight up in bed and instinctively reached for her wand, which lay on the night stand. She wasn't sure what to do. She knew that she had charms and enchantments surrounding her flat, no one could possibly get in, but the rapping persisted and was getting louder and more determined. She felt her stomach drop as she thought that perhaps it was some type of emergency with the Order. Tonks realized that she had to at least go and find out who was at her door. Maybe it was an Order member, and if it wasn't she could call for help.

Tonks tiptoed quietly though the hallway and into her kitchen, wand lit ahead of her. She didn't want whoever was outside to see the lights. She moved slowly to the front door, careful to not hit into anything, and peered through the hole. There wasn't a person there, but rather a silvery form of light that resembled a dog—a patronus. Tonks knew that the only reason she would get a patronus is if there was some kind of emergency. This idea was furthered by the persistence of the patronus standing on the other side of the door. It couldn't move past her enchantments, but it continued to try. Slowly Tonks opened the door to face the silvery patronus. Immediately, Tonks heard a familiar voice.

"Arthur has been injured on duty. Still alive. Do not go to Headquarters. You will be updated." It was unmistakably the calm voice of Remus Lupin. The silvery dog-like creature disappeared. Tonks's heart began to race. How had Arthur been hurt? Did a security wizard find him? Did someone try to break in and they dueled? Why couldn't she go to headquarters?

She couldn't stand the thought of waiting around for an update. How could she find out? She couldn't go the headquarters. She didn't dare go to the Burrow; Molly had enough on her mind. She could ask Remus, but she wasn't sure she could muster a patronus at the moment, and she had no clue where to apparate to find him. She couldn't get in touch with Dumbledore. Then a thought struck her—Mad-Eye. Mad-Eye would have to know what was going on, and Tonks knew where he lived. Without giving it a second thought, Tonks ran back to room, grabbed her traveling cloak and pulled it tightly around herself, locked the door to her flat and ran into the hallway. She disapparated within seconds and found herself standing in front of Mad-Eye's home.

Tonks rapped harshly at the door for about ten minutes, becoming more irritated with each rap. It was freezing outside. She was standing in her pajamas and a traveling cloak on Mad-Eye's front steps in the dead of night, and he was taking his time to answer. She knew he must have had tons of protective charms on the place, but honestly he could have been quicker once he saw it was her outside. A few more minutes passed before Tonks heard a clanking behind the door, undoubtedly Mad-Eyes wooden leg.

"Nymphadora!" He barked after cautiously opening the door. "What are you doing here?" He lowered his wand slowly. Without answering, she tried to walk past him, but he pulled his wand back on her, causing to her stop abruptly. "What form does your patronus take?" He asked, wand raised dangerously close to her face.

"A chameleon," she answered. She tried to move forward, but Mad-Eye still wouldn't move.

"Mad-Eye, are you mad?" She questioned, very aggravated. Mad-Eye still wouldn't budge.

"You could be under the imperius curse," he stated. Tonks changed her hair color rapidly to pink, blue, and then back to its current shade of brown.

"There," she answered trying to push forward, but Mad-Eye still wouldn't move. If she thought she could duel him, Tonks would have taken out her wand. She knew if she so much as moved her wand arm Mad-Eye would hex her. He had always been paranoid, and it was getting worse.

"Mad-Eye this is ridiculous," Tonks started to plead. "It's Tonks. My patronus is a chameleon, I'm a metamorphmagus, I was a Hufflepuff, I work in the auror department at the ministry, I'm an awful klutz, I'll hex anyone who calls me by my first name, and my favorite band is the Weird Sisters—it's me."

"What was the second lesson I taught you in January, the first year I was your mentor at the ministry?"

"You really are Mad!" Tonks yelled. "How could I possibly remember that?"

"Here Mad-Eye," a voice from within the house said, "I'll tell you if it's really her." Remus Lupin came to the door, looking shabbier than he had the last time Tonks had seen him.

"Who were we following in Diagon Alley, and what color did you change your hair to when you followed him alone?"

"We were following Jugson, and I changed my hair to," she thought back to that day for a moment, "black."

"It's her, Mad-Eye," he said. Mad-Eye begrudgingly stepped aside to allow Tonks into the room. Although she was unsure why Remus was with Mad-Eye, she was certainly glad he was there, and very impressed that he remembered she changed her hair to black when they were tracking Jugson.

Tonks had only actually been inside Mad-Eye's house once, but everything looked pretty much the same. The furniture was ancient, there was a large rug in the center of the floor at which Mad-Eye cursed every time he got is wooden leg caught, and there were two gigantic book shelves on the wall filled with books and newspapers about death eaters, protective charms, and defensive spells.

"Tonks," Mad-Eye growled. "Why did you come here? You should have gotten Remus' patronus. We said we'd send word."

"Mad-Eye," Tonks retorted, "you can't honestly believe that I would sit around in my flat and wait after hearing that something happened to Arthur. The Weasley's are like my family, Molly and Arthur have been like parents since I've joined the Order, and I've known them since I went to school with Charlie." She wondered if Remus had been scolded the same way when he arrived. "I'm not the only one here," she said.

"Remus wasn't at home when we were contacted by Dumbledore. He came here to send out his patronus." Tonks suddenly realized why Remus looked so horrible; the moon had been full the night before.

"What happened?" Tonks began. "Did someone attack him? Did a Death eater find him? Do they know if he's going to be alright?"

"Silence, Tonks," Mad-Eye said. "Stop your blabbering." Tonks was very taken aback by Mad-Eye; she just wanted to know if Arthur was ok.

"He's alive," Remus sighed stepping forward. "Kingsley was staying late at the auror office. He got the message from Dumbledore and was heading down when a security wizard found Arthur. He was in very bad shape, but they've taken him straight to St. Mungo's." Tonks knew her terror showed on her face.

"Do…do they think he'll make it?"

"There's been no word yet," Remus answered stiffly. Tonks could tell he was very worried as well. "But he's in the best hands at St. Mungo's; we'll just have to wait it out." Remus must have still been able to discern the fear and worry in Tonks's face. He stepped forward and rubbed her shoulder gently, "why don't you sit, Tonks and I'll get some tea." Tonks took Remus' suggestion and sat down on Mad-Eye's old weathered couch. She could feel a slight burning sensation where Remus had placed his hand on her shoulder. Mad-Eye took a seat next to her.

"Mad-Eye," Tonks began after a few moments of silence, "why aren't we supposed to go headquarters? I was certain they'd want someone else to guard the area, and for us to try and find out what happened."

"Dumbledore doesn't want anyone at headquarters because the Weasley children are arriving by portkey there, along with Potter. They're worried enough, doesn't want everyone bustling about making things worse." Tonks understood. If something happened to either or her parents, she wouldn't want a bunch of people milling around making it worse.

Remus arrived a few minutes later with the tea, which eased the silence a bit. Finally, Tonks decided to speak up.

"How did they find him?" She asked. "The only people who knew he was there were members of the Order.

"Harry found him," Remus answered.

"Harry?" Tonks asked quite shocked. How could Harry have found him when he was at Hogwarts?"

Remus responded to Tonks's stunned appearance, "Harry envisioned it while sleeping. Minerva took him to Dumbledore and he sent one of the portraits to the ministry."

"How did Harry know? Is he a seer?"

"Of course he's not a seer, Tonks," Mad-Eye barked. "Somehow Potter can see into Voldemort's mind." Tonks had no reply.

"We're not sure of anything else. Although, I suppose Dumbledore will have Harry learn Occlumency. He needs to close his mind to anything having to do with Voldemort."

"Do they have any idea what happened to Arthur based on his injury? Tonks asked

"He was attacked by a snake," Remus responded.

"A snake?" Tonks asked, unsure of what to make of it.

"Yes," Remus answered. "Harry woke up tonight somehow knowing that Arthur had been attacked by a snake, woke up the other boys in his dormitory. One of them woke Minerva and she took him straight to Dumbledore, and he was able to send word to make sure Arthur was found."

"Why was there a snake near the Department of Mysteries?"

"We don't know," Mad-Eye answered. "We do know; however, that Voldemort failed to get the prophecy."

"How do we know for sure?" Tonks asked.

"One of the old headmasters at Hogwarts was able to figure it out," Remus answered.

"They've got portraits everywhere. It's easy for them to travel through and find out things," Mad-Eye said.

All three went back to drinking their tea in silence. Almost an hour had past and they hadn't heard anything about Arthur. Sitting with Remus and Mad-Eye was making Tonks incredibly uneasy. Remus looked completely worn; his eyes were red from lack of sleep, his grayed hair out of place, and his robes shabbier than ever before. Mad-Eye kept staring intently at the table. Tonks hated the fact that she knew Mad-Eye was worried too. He was always the strong one.

Tonks thought about Arthur's children, how horrible it must to have to wait for news like that. Arthur couldn't die, he just couldn't. He had too much to live for; his wife, his children, the Order. Tonks thought about Harry. How was he dealing with something like this? He had seen the attack happen. He must be terribly frightened. Tonks knew the Weasleys were like his family too. She knew how Mrs. Weasley doted on Harry, how they had always stepped up to care for him. They still hadn't heard anything about Arthur, and Tonks was beginning to doubt they would until the next morning. Molly was up to eyes in fright and worry. Even if Arthur was alright she wouldn't have time to send word yet. Remus seemed to read Tonks' thoughts.

"Well," he said standing up tiredly, sending his tea cup into the kitchen sink, "I think it's very unlikely that we'll hear anything more tonight. I suppose no news is good news. I think I'll head back to my flat and try to get some rest. I'll let you both know if I hear anything." Mad-Eye stood and nodded as Remus walked toward the door.

"I'll do the same, Remus," he said. "Be on the lookout. Check everywhere near your home. We don't need anything else happening to any other Order members."

"I'll be sure to, Mad-Eye. Goodbye, Tonks," Remus added nodding to Tonks. Tonks feebly smiled in return.

"Bye Remus, be careful," she cautioned. He walked onto the step, hastily moved to the front of the lawn, and disapparated into the air.

Mad-Eye was fumbling about with books near the bookcase while Tonks took the tea cups into the sink. She could see Mad-Eye out of the corner of her eye. He looked tired. She knew he was even more paranoid then ever had been, and he must not be getting a lot of sleep. He would never force her to leave, not during a time like this, but she wanted him to try and get some sleep.

"Don't think we'll get any word tonight, do you?" Tonks asked preparing to leave.

No," he answered matter-of-factly. "Molly's got enough to worry about."

"Well," Tonks answered. "I'm going to head home and try to get some sleep, in case the Order needs me for anything tomorrow."

"Be on the lookout Tonks. Watch anything out of the ordinary."

"I know Mad-Eye," she said grasping the door handle. "Please try and get some sleep yourself," Tonks answered. "If the Order needs you tomorrow, you have to best rest. Constant vigilance, remember," and with that she walked to the lawn and disapparated back near her flat.

So, that was it. I needed this chapter to help move along the story. It was supposed to be a part of the next chapter, but it would have been too long. I'm sorry this took so long. I was on vacation, then I was babysitting, and then I had overnight Orientation for college.


	15. Christmas Concerns

A Change of Heart Chapter 15

So, I'm back. I'm trying to get these out before I head to the beach again for a few days. I hope you enjoyed the last chapter, and you enjoy this one as well.

**Oh, sorry I just remembered, this chapter contains direct text from ****Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix****. This is in no way an attempt at any sort or plagiarism. The text is taken from chapter 23 Christmas on the Closed Ward. It will be bolded.**

Christmas Concerns

The next morning Tonks was awoken by her owl, Dottie, tapping lightly on her window. Tonks quickly flung open the window and allowed the small owl to climb through. Dottie had two letters tied tightly to her foot. After tossing Dottie a few treats, Tonks opened the first envelope which was from her mother.

It read,

_Dear Nymphadora,_

_We haven't heard from you in a while, so I wanted to make sure everything is alright. I hope that work is going well. I wanted to make sure that you are coming for Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow and staying for Christmas this year. I can't imagine you'd change your plans after all these years, but I thought I'd just check._

Tonks grabbed a quill and quickly scribbled a note of reply on the back

_Dear mum,_

_Of course I'll be there tomorrow for Christmas Eve dinner and for Christmas. I wouldn't miss it!_ Thinking about the Order she wrote. _I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stay on Christmas though. Arthur Weasley is in St. Mungo's and I've promised that I'd help in any way I could._

_Love, Dora._

_P.S. And for Merlin's sake mum, it's TONKS!_

Tonks knew that many people had already discovered that Arthur was in St. Mungo's, but no one knew what exactly happened. Tonks knew her mother would probably press her about it, but her father would force her to let it go when Tonks declined to talk about it. She didn't want to call Arthur and Molly by their first names because, as far as her mother knew, Tonks only knew them as Charlie's parents. She wasn't sure if the Order would need her, but she wanted to make herself available just in case. Tonks then opened the next letter written in quick slanted scrawl she recognized as Mad-Eyes.

_Tonks, we're going with them to visit today. Come with us as a guard. Dress like a muggle_

Tonks knew he must mean that the Weasleys were going to visit Arthur. She quickly got herself together- t-shirt and jeans, hair her favorite shade of bright pink-and handed her mum's letter back to Dottie. "Take this to my mum" she told the owl. "And stay there ok? We're going to be there for the holiday." She didn't bother sending a letter back to Mad-Eye. He wasn't asking her if she'd like to come, he was telling her to be there.

A few minutes later she arrived in Grimmauld Square to escort the group across London. She tried to suppress her laughter as the kids laughed at Mad-Eye's bowler hat.

**Tonks was very interested in Harry's vision of the attack on Mr. Weasley, something Harry was not remotely interested in discussing.**

As she walked with the group, Tonks started to talk to Harry. **"There isn't any Seer blood in your family, is there?" she inquired curiously, as they sat side by side on a train rattling towards the heart of the city.  
"No," said Harry.  
"No," said Tonks musingly, "no, I suppose it's not really prophecy you're doing, is it? I mean, you're not seeing the future, you're seeing the present ... it's odd, isn't it? Useful, though ..."**

Harry didn't really have time to respond because they arrived at the train station, and there was far too much commotion to carry on a conversation. Once getting off the train, and exiting the underground, Tonks led the way. She had been to St. Mungo's quite a few times and knew exactly where it was. Tonks stopped in front of an old department building called Purge &Dowse Ltd.

"**Right," said Tonks, beckoning them towards a window displaying nothing but a particularly ugly female dummy. Its false eyelashes were hanging off and it was modeling a green nylon pinafore dress. "Everybody ready?" They nodded, clustering around her. Mad-Eye gave Harry another shove between the shoulder blades to urge him forward and Tonks leaned close to the glass, looking up at the very ugly dummy, her breath steaming up the glass. "Wotcher,"she said, "we're here to see Arthur Weasley."  
** A few moments later,** Tonks had seized Ginny and Mrs. Weasley by the elbows, stepped right through the glass and vanished.**

The group made their way to the guide witch sitting at her desk. She sent them to the Dai Llewellyn Ward on the second floor.

**They climbed a flight of stairs and entered the Creature-Induced Injuries corridor, where the second door on the right bore the words: "Dangerous" Dai Llewellyn Ward: Serious Bites. Underneath this was a card in a brass holder on which had been handwritten: Healer-in-Charge: Hippocrates Smethwyck. Trainee Healer: Augustus Pye.  
"We'll wait outside, Molly," Tonks said. "Arthur won't want too many visitors at once ... it ought to be just the family first."**

Mad-Eye agreed with Tonks and leaned against the corridor wall to wait while the Weasley's and Harry went in to visit Mr. Weasley. She desperately wanted to ask Mad-Eye if Dumbledore had discovered anything else, but she knew better than to ask him in a public place. A little while later the Weasleys came out of Arthur's room. Mad-Eye stood up and headed into the room and Tonks quickly followed him. Mrs. Weasley was still inside.

"Wotcher Arthur," Tonks said.

"Hello, Tonks, Mad-Eye," Arthur responded. Thanks for bringing Molly and the kids here."

"No problem. How are you feeling?"

"Oh I'm fine," Mr. Weasley. "They can't seem to figure out why it won't stop bleeding, but I'll be just fine." Tonks admired Mr. Weasley's optimism.

"Er," Mr. Weasley slightly hesitated, "Any word about the er…attacker?"

** "They searched the whole area but couldn't find the snake anywhere. It just seems to have vanished after it attacked you, Arthur...but You-Know-Who can't have expected a snake to get in, can he?"  
"I reckon he sent it as a lookout," growled Mad-Eye, "cause he's not had any luck so far, has he? No, I reckon he's trying to get a clearer picture of what he's facing and if Arthur hadn't been there the beast would've had a lot more time to look around. So, Potter says he saw it all happen?"  
"Yes," said Mrs. Weasley. She sounded rather uneasy. "You know, Dumbledore seems almost to have been waiting for Harry to see something like this."  
"Yeah, well," said Moody, "there's something funny about the Potter kid, we all know that."  
"Dumbledore seemed worried about Harry when I spoke to him this morning," whispered Mrs. Weasley.  
"Course he's worried," growled Moody. "The boy's seeing things from inside You-Know-Who's snake. Obviously, Potter doesn't realize what that means, but if You-Know-Who's possessing him, **we've got to act quickly. He needs to learn to block his mind."

"Possessing him?" Tonks questioned. "You-know-who," she decided to use the familiar term inside the hospital, "has figured out how to possess Harry?"

"Not sure," said Mad-Eye, "Dumbledore seems to think that he hasn't figured out the connection yet. But we don't have time to guess. I supposed Dumbledore's going to have him start Occlumency with Severus."

"Snape?" Tonks asked, she had never been fond of him.

"He's brilliant at Occlumency," Arthur added. "He's the best to teach Harry."

"Well," Mrs. Weasley said, "why don't we get the kids back to Grimmauld Place. We're staying there Arthur, for Christmas. It's easier to get here."

"Alright Molly," Arthur said. "I'll see you then. I love you."

"I love you too Arthur," Molly said as she leaned over to kiss him. Tonks saw tears quickly starting to fall down her face. "Oh I just don't know what we would have done without you. I…" but Arthur cut her off.

"I'm fine, Molly. I promise," he took her hands. "Go home with the kids, and try and enjoy the holidays. I'll see you all tomorrow."

Tonks decided to stop by Grimmauld Place to see Sirius before she headed to her parents house. She had gone home after visiting Mr. Weasley and managed to get all of her presents wrapped. She came with an armful of gifts to put under the tree.

"Wotcher Sirius," Tonks said as she stumbled through the hallway. "I've got gifts for everyone, and I wanted to drop them off. I'll be at my parents' for Christmas." She stopped near the tree, and dropped all the presents underneath. "Wow, Sirius," she said, astounded. "You did a great job with the place." Sirius had decorated the house. She supposed that he had done all the extras because the Weasley's and Harry were staying there for Christmas. "The place looks downright cheerful."

"Thanks," he answered. "I thought I'd spruce it up a bit since I have company."

"Well, it looks great," she said holding two gifts in her hands.

"This one's for you," she said placing it in the corner under the tree. "Don't open it until tomorrow morning." She didn't mention she had another real gift for him; she wanted him to believe that she'd only gotten him a book on Hufflepuffs. "And this one's for Remus. Is he staying here for Christmas too?"

"No. Remus is spending Christmas at home."

"Oh, got family to attend to as well."

"No actually. Remus doesn't have any family," Sirius said. "I invited him, but he said he doesn't want to intrude on the Weasley's."

"Well, that's awful," Tonks said. "I can't imagine spending Christmas alone. I'm sure the Weasleys would love to have him.

"I've tried to convince him, but he won't listen, but Molly might be able to get him to come around tomorrow for dinner."

"Well," Tonks said clutching Remus' gift. "I have this gift for him. Any chance you know where he lives, so I can send it to him."

"Certainly," Sirius said. "Do you have an owl? I'll write the address down for you."

"Thanks Sirius." After getting the address Tonks wished Sirius a Merry Christmas and headed out for her parents' house.

Tonks always enjoyed Christmas Eve dinner with her parents and was looking forward to breakfast tomorrow, but her mind kept drifting to Remus. She felt so awful that he was spending Christmas alone. Why wouldn't he join Sirius, Harry, and the Weasleys? Certainly he knew that they wouldn't mind. She was sure Molly would love to have him. He had no family? None at all? That must have been horrible. She presumed his parents had died, and she never heard him mention any brothers or sisters. She couldn't imagine spending Christmas alone, and wondered why anyone would chose that over spending Christmas with the Weasleys. It wasn't a full moon, he wouldn't be transformed, so what was keeping him?

Half way through the second course Tonks decided that she wouldn't have Dottie take the present to Remus after all. She has planned to send her out after dinner since Dottie was staying at her parents' house too. However, she decided that since he had his address, she would visit Remus herself and deliver it. At least he would be able to see someone on Christmas. Maybe she could convince him to go to Grimmauld Place.

"You said in your letter that Arthur Weasley's in the hospital." Her mom, Andromeda, said over dessert. "What happened to him?"

"I'm not sure," Tonks answered feeling her face getting warm. She prayed that her mother wouldn't press her about it.

"Did something happen on the job, or did something go wrong at home with all those contraptions he fools with?"

"Mum, I really don't know. I'm presuming it might have been something with the job. He deals with strange magic all the time. Something easily could have happened."

"So," Tonks's dad, Ted, began noticing Tonks' uneasiness, "Fancy a game of Quidditch tomorrow, Dora?"

"Of course, Dad," Tonks responded. She loved playing Quidditch with her father. He was a very skilled player despite his age, and he never made fun of Tonks for her clumsiness.

The next morning Tonks awoke to find presents sitting underneath the tree in the sitting room. Her parents were already awake, sitting in the kitchen drinking tea.

"Shall we open gifts then?" Ted asked.

Tonks's parents had been delighted with their gifts. Andromeda was already talking of trying a new recipe that evening, and Ted had been entranced in his book since he'd opened it. Tonks had received a new traveling cloak, a book on useful household spells (from her mother), her favorite chocolate from Honeydukes, a new set of spell checking quills, and changing colored ink and a new Weird Sisters poster (from her father).

Presents were followed by breakfast that Tonks's mother made. Andromeda was a fantastic cook, almost as good as Mrs. Weasley. She fixed up every breakfast food imaginable for the occasion, just as she always did.

"Ready for that game of Quidditch, Dora?" Ted asked.

"Sure!"

Tonks bundled herself up as much as she could while still being able to perch herself on a broomstick. Ted looked pretty much the same as she did, only slightly larger.

"I still think you both are fools!" Andromeda shouted out at them from the kitchen window. "It's freezing out there!"

"Just a little cold," Ted answered back. "Nothing your hot chocolate won't cure."

Tonks and her dad went on with their game for a half hour. Tonks and her dad played with just the Quaffle, each acting as both a keeper and chaser. There was only one hoop on each side of the makeshift field in the back yard, but Tonks wasn't very good at catching the quaffle, so one hoop was quite enough. While her dad zoomed away trying to chase the quaffle smacked away from the hoop with the end of Tonks' broom, she began to think about Remus again and how lonely he must feel. She hated to think that while she was here, enjoying time with her parents, Remus was sitting at home, alone. Tonks was lost in thought until she heard her father's voice as he pulled his broom right up next to hers.

"Are you alright, Dora?" He questioned. "You've missed three quaffles in a row and you haven't even tried to throw them toward my end."

"Yeah, dad," she answered, "I'm alright. I'm just thinking."

"What's on your mind, dear?"

"Just a friend," she sighed. "Who's alone on Christmas."

"Which friend is this?" He asked. "Someone from the ministry?"

"Yeah, someone I know from work," Tonks lied.

"He has no family?"

"No, I don't think so. He was invited elsewhere, but he didn't want to burden anyone. I just…I just can't imagine spending Christmas alone. I have such a wonderful time here with you and Mum. It just seems awful."

"Are you planning to go visit?"

"Well, yeah. I thought maybe I'd drop by later on and give him the Christmas gift I got him."

"Well, I think that's a great idea. You can leave whenever you like."

"Are you sure, Dad?" She asked. "I don't want to leave you and mum."

"We'll be fine, Dora," he put his hand on her shoulder. "Your mum and I have had you for Christmas every year. We can spare you for today so you can visit your friend." Tonks hugged her father, almost falling off her broom. He instinctively grabbed the collar of her new traveling cloak. He was used to Tonks's clumsiness.

About an hour later, Tonks found herself standing in the hallway of what appeared to be an ordinary muggle apartment building. Perhaps it was mix of wizards and muggles like her own? She followed the numbers to the very end of the long thin hallway to an old cracked door. She was rather nervous standing in front of Remus' flat, clutching his gift in her hand. What if Remus wanted to be alone of Christmas and she was ruining it for him? What if he got angry with her for showing up, or angry at Sirius for giving her his address? Tonks allowed herself to fret over these ideas for a few moments before reminding herself that this was calm and kind Remus who would probably be just fine, and very appreciate of her stopping by to bring his gift. Gathering courage, she rapped quickly on the door. No one appeared. She rapped a little harder, and still no one came. After rapping once more and waiting for a few minutes, Tonks decided that Remus had to be out. She couldn't shield herself from her disappointment, though she tried. She had been looking forward to bringing Remus his gift. She liked talking to him, and was eager for him to be happy. He looked quite disheveled at Mad-Eye's what with Arthur being injured and the full moon having just ended. Perhaps Remus had changed his mind and gone to Grimmauld Place to spend Christmas there. She figured she'd stop by with his gift, and Sirius' real gift. She was dying to hear Sirius' opinion on the book she'd given him about Hufflepuffs.

Tonks walked into number 12 rather astonished at the silence. She was even more stunned at the lack of food in the kitchen. She was sure she'd see Mrs. Weasley bustling about in there, whipping up everything imaginable.

"Hello?" Tonks called into the seemingly empty house as she walked into the sitting room. Where was Sirius? He certainly couldn't have gone. Maybe he and Remus were off somewhere? Or Sirius had run off and Remus went after him? Tonks's worries were put to rest when Sirius came strutting down the stairs, holly draped over his neck and fire whiskey in his hand.

"Merry Christmas Tonks!" Sirius said cheerfully. "What brings you here? I thought you were with your parents for the holidays?"

"I am, er, I was," Tonks said. "I came to drop of Remus' gift."

"I thought you'd sent it to him yesterday with your owl."

"Well, er, I thought I'd send it, but er…I didn't know if Dottie would be able to make the trip, she's a rather small owl, and I, er had the address, so I went to drop it off myself, but Remus wasn't home, so I figured he probably came here."

"Wish you would have come earlier, you just missed him," Sirius answered taking a swig of his fire whiskey. "He came this morning after breakfast. He and Mad-Eye came to escort everyone to visit Arthur." Of course the Weasley's would go to see Arthur. Why hadn't Tonks thought of that before?

"Is he coming back later?" She asked.

"Not sure. He was pretty determined about not intruding, but I'm sure Molly will convince him to come back for dinner."

"Well," Tonks said, "then I think I'll just leave it here for him."

"Here, I'll just put it under the tree," Sirius offered, taking it from Tonks. As Sirius walked toward the tree Tonks noticed the yellow and black book that she had gotten him for Christmas resting in the corner underneath the branches.

"Enjoy your Christmas present?" She asked jokingly.

"Oh yes," Sirius responded laughing. "I imagine I'll get a real laugh out of it."

"Here," Tonks said handing over Sirius' real present. "I just wanted to see your reaction, and you should read it, but this is your real gift." Sirius unwrapped the book and looked at it curiously. "It's a book of household charms, enchantments, and stuff," Tonks said, "I thought it could help make things more cheerful. There's stuff in there about changing paint color and enchanting lights and things. I thought maybe you could work on some stuff while you're here, and that way when Harry comes to live here with you permanently, the house will be proper." Sirius looked down at the book with visible appreciation.

"Thank you so much, Tonks," he said placing the book carefully down on the table, as though it were made of glass. "Let me get your gift." He ran upstairs and returned with a small object poorly covered in paper.

"Since I can't leave, and I can't get gold from my vault at Gringotts, I've had to make due. I borrowed some spare wrappings from Molly." Tonks tore open the paper, and found a beautiful silver hand mirror. It was an oval surrounded by a silver frame, engraved with designs and sapphires around the edges, with a short silver handle with engraved designs.

"Sirius, it's beautiful," Tonks said holding it up to her short pink hair.

"I know you're always changing your hair, so I figured it might be nice."

"Er...Sirius," Tonks said holding the mirror a little far from her face, a thought having just struck her. "Did you er, find this…here?"

"I did, but I've checked it in and out for curses," he added. "There's nothing there. I think it might have been my mum's or maybe one of her sister's."

"Well, thank you, it's lovely," Tonks placed the mirror delicately in the pocket of her new traveling cloak.

"You're welcome," he began to eye his new book laying on the table.

"Well," Tonks said. "I think I'm going to head to St. Mungo's to visit Arthur and wish the Weasley's Merry Christmas. I'll see you soon."

"Merry Christmas Tonks!" Sirius called sitting down to read his new book.

Tonks hated being in the hospital during the holidays. It was so depressing to think about all those people not being able to spend proper time with their families. She only hoped that most of them got visitors, the corridors did seem a little more crowded.

As Tonks walked to Mr. Weasley's door, she thought she heard Molly yelling. What in Merlin's name would she be yelling at Mr. Weasley about on Christmas while he was in the hospital? Tonks pushed the door open slowly, but stopped abruptly when she saw Remus standing near the bed closest to the door, the one where a young man who'd been bitten by a werewolf lay. Remus was talking to him calmly and quietly. Tonks thought she heard something like "almost normal life." Tonks decided it would be indecent to walk into a conversation such as that, so she chose to wait outside of the room for the others to leave, or for Mrs. Weasley's yelling to subside.

After a few minutes, Ron, Ginny, Harry, and Hermione emerged from the room. Tonks wished them all Merry Christmas and moved toward the door, but was quickly warned by Ginny. "I wouldn't go in there just yet Tonks. Dad's been messing around with muggle remedies and Mum's not too happy about it." Tonks nodded in agreement and backed away from the door.

"I'll give them a few minutes then."

Right after the kids left, Remus exited the room as well; Tonks could still faintly hear Mrs. Weasley's irritated voice. "I've heard," she told Remus as he opened his mouth to explain Molly's anger. "Merry Christmas, Remus."

"Thank you," he responded. "Merry Christmas to you as well, Tonks." Mad-Eye came walking down the hallway clutching a cup of tea, his wooden leg making much less noise than it usually did.

"Wotcher Mad-Eye," Tonks said. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas Tonks," he responded. "So Remus, saw you talking to the boy next to Arthur. Is he a werewolf as well?" Tonks was astounded at Mad-Eye's lack of tact.

"Yes, but he hasn't transformed yet," Remus stated. "He's in for a lot, quite depressed, and rightfully so. I've just been talking to him about what it's like." It pained Tonks to see Remus look the way he did.

"No better adviser," Mad-Eye said.

"I daresay not," Remus responded. Tonks's heart dropped at the feeble smile Remus managed to give. "I think the healers have been trying to explain things to him, but I think it's better to here from something like me, a creature who's gone through the same thing." Mad-Eye nodded in agreement. "Something?" "Creature?" Tonks couldn't believe what she was hearing, and she especially couldn't believe that Mad-Eye wasn't saying anything.

"It's just better to talk to something that's knows what you're going through. He seemed a little better. Said he couldn't even tell looking at me. Of course I told him only close friends know what I am…"but Remus was cut off abruptly by Tonks. She did not know where the rage came from, but it welled up inside of her, and she lost control of her mouth.

"Oh would you stop it!" Tonks practically screamed. Remus looked like she'd hit him straight in the face. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off again, "Please just stop it!"  
"Tonks," Mad-Eye said angrily.

"Don't tell me to be quiet Mad-Eye," Tonks answered. He seemed to realize that it was best to stay out of this seemingly unprovoked outburst. Since Mad-Eye had not interjected, Tonks lowered her voice.

"You're just like them!" Tonks continued. Remus looked positively stunned and completely confused.

"I don't know wh…" he began, but Tonks wasn't letting him get a word in.

"People like you are the reason that werewolves feel inferior!"

"I beg your pardon," Remus said slowly and angrily. Tonks didn't like the tone he'd suddenly adopted. She knew she touched a nerve.

"Going around calling yourself 'something' and 'a creature' saying only friends know 'what you are.' That's why werewolves feel inferior because people like you say things like that!"

"Tonks, I think I have the right…"

"So, is that what you told the boy in there?" She asked flinging her hand toward the door, becoming slightly furious that Remus didn't seem to understand what she was saying. "Is it? Did you tell him, you're a creature now? A second class person? Did you telling he's got refer to himself as a 'what' and 'something?' She was greeted with silence. "Well is that what you said? Because according to you that's the truth now!"

"Tonks…"  
"For Merlin's sake Remus you are a person!" Mad-Eye had moved far down the end of the hall now, determined to keep away from the argument. "A person, just like me and Mad-Eye and Arthur and Harry, just like anybody. Just because something bad happened to you doesn't make you any less of a person, and I just can't stand to hear you call yourself such things. Just because some people do, doesn't mean you have to! I mean the way you talk about Umbridge and how hard she's made things for people like you; you wouldn't think you'd believe the same thing she does!" Remus' look of shock was dwindling, and Tonks wanted to finish before he had time to respond. "I just can't stand it Remus, to hear you to call yourself 'something' and 'creature.' You're a wizard just like anyone else. The way you talk makes you just as bad as the others who oppress people with conditions like yours!"

She was finished. She stood in front of Remus breathing heavily. She couldn't believe a healer hadn't come to yell at her for her outburst. Tonks was shocked at what she had just done. She felt foolish for screaming because it was Remus' business, but she really couldn't take it. Tears began to form on the edges of her eyes. She stormed away from the men, Mad-Eye had moved back towards her and Remus when she stopped yelling, and down the hall to a waiting room.

Tonks was glad to see that it was rather empty as she flung herself on the red and gold striped lumpy couch. She placed her face in her hands as she leaned her elbows on her knees. She couldn't believe what she had just done. Why had she had such an outburst? Remus' face was stuck in her mind. She'd never seen him look so shocked, and she couldn't get his voice out of her head, "_I beg your pardon."_ It was cold and angry. She didn't want Remus to be angry on Christmas or angry with her, but she was right. He was just as bad as those who publically oppressed werewolves if he was acting that way. She still felt awful for yelling at him, especially in front of Mad-Eye. It was like she was scolding him. She'd had enough of that to know it was very unpleasant and embarrassing. But she felt so horrible that he thought so lowly of himself, and she just got so angry that he couldn't see what a great and talented wizard he was despite his affliction. Tonks was too buried in her thoughts to notice that someone had come into the waiting room and prepared two cups of tea.

"Here Tonks," said a calm voice. The hair on Tonks's neck prickled, it was Remus. She felt him sit down next to her on the lumpy couch. She didn't want to lift her head and face him, but she thought that would be childish. She lifted her face out of her hands, and fingers trembling, took a teacup from Remus' hands. She sipped the hot tea, hoping that somehow this was all a dream and she hadn't just lost her temper and had an outburst in the middle of the hospital. Despite her wishing, Tonks knew it was perfectly real, and she had to say something.

"Remus," she began, "I'm sorry, but I just…" this time Remus held his hand up to silence her.

"It's quite alright," Remus began. "You were right." Tonks choked on her tea at this statement. Remus stopped speaking for a moment as Tonks tried to silence her own coughing. "I am just as bad as others who oppress werewolves if I use the terms they do." Tonks couldn't believe what she was hearing. She yelled at Remus in front of Mad-Eye and he was the only apologizing to her? She felt ten times as awful now.

"Remus, I'm sorry," she said, placing the dainty tea cup on the table. "I'm sorry I lost my temper. I just…I can't stand it when you talk about yourself that way. I know it's your business and I don't know anything about it, but to the Order and to me you're the same as any other wizard, certainly more talented than a great number of them, and I just wish you would see it."

"It's quite alright, Tonks. I'm sorry that I upset you so much. You must understand though. It's an attitude I have dealt with my whole life, and one I've adopted over quite some time."

"I know and I'm sorry, I just…"

"You remind me of my friends from school," he said smiling at her. "James, Sirius, and Peter, they always got angry when I got down on myself. Well, really James and Sirius, Peter just followed whatever they did." Tonks picked her tea cup back up from the table and sipped some more. She was very pleased that she reminded Remus of James and Sirius, they were his best friends, and he thought the absolute best of them.

Once they were finished with their tea, Remus sent the cups zooming back over to sink area where they cleaned themselves. "Well, I should be getting back. I have to escort Molly and the kids back to Grimmauld Place, and I'm sure Molly will coax me into having dinner." Remus said. Tonks smiled, she was certain Molly would force Remus to eat with her family. "You haven't seen Arthur yet have you?"  
"No," Tonks answered. "I was going to, but I heard Molly yelling, and you were talking to the boy, and then…" she stopped herself as she felt her cheeks flush. Then she went completely mad and lost control of herself. She was sure Mad-Eye was furious with her behavior.

"Well, why don't you go back and see him quickly? I'm sure they'll probably be ready to go now. Arthur will need some rest." He stood up and reached out his hand to Tonks to help her off the couch. Tonks still couldn't explain while her cheeks flushed so badly when she placed her hand in his, or why she got the same warm sensation in her hand as she did when Remus rubbed her shoulder the other day. She just hoped her hair wasn't matching.

Tonks arrived home a little while later to find two owls perched on her windowsill, holding up a package together. Tonks quickly threw open the window, letting the frigid air rush in. She untied the package from the birds and gave them a few of Dottie's (who was still at Tonks's parents' house) treats before they flew off out the window. Tonks looked at the plain brown wrappings, perplexed; she had no idea who could be sending her a gift. Tearing open the wrappings, she found the present to be a book entitled _Nymphs: Mythological Beauties_. She opened the cover and a small note fell out to the floor. It was written in small, neat writing,

_I just thought that perhaps this would give you a new perspective on your name. Merry Christmas!_

_ Remus_

So it was Remus' Christmas gift to her. She flipped through the pages where she found vivid pictures of the delicate, beautiful creatures and chapters about their powers and appearances throughout mythology. As she continued to flip, she heard a light tapping on the window. It was another owl. Tonks duplicated her previous motions of throwing open the window, detaching the letter, and giving the owl a treat. This small note was written in the same hand.

_Tonks, I just received your present. It was so nice of you, you really shouldn't have. It's such a wonderful set. I suppose I'm going to force Sirius to play against me this evening. Thank you!_

_ Remus_

Tonks grabbed a quill and quickly scribbled a note on a spare piece of parchment.

_Remus, I'm glad you like it. I'd like to watch you both play some time. Of course I should have! Thank you so much for my book, it really is lovely. Have a good rest of the holiday! _

_ Tonks_

Tonks attached the letter to the bird. "Take this to Remus, please," she said, lightly stroking the little brown owl's head before it flew off.

Tonks settled down that evening in her sitting room with a large mug of hot chocolate and the books Remus had given her. It did look rather interesting, and Tonks was excited to learn about Nymphs. However, she doubted very much that anything written in this book would cause her to warm up to her name. Nymphadora, really her mother must have been mad.

Hope you liked it, please review. I know that some things are not canon, but I think that's part of what makes Fanfiction so nice, one doesn't always have to keep to the books. :]

I'm leaving for vacation for a few days, so it might be a bit before the next chapter.


	16. A Dinner Invitation

So, I'm back. I hope people are still reading the story, and liking it. I know it's getting up there in chapters, so I hope everyone will continue with me.

Oh, and I just realized that the last chapter contained direct quotes from both chapters 22 and 23, I forgot to mention 22.

This chapter contains direct quotes from chapter 24 Occlumency-they will be bolded.

Chapter 16

**A Dinner Invitation**

The holidays were going along rather nicely. Christmas had been lovely and the New Year was vastly approaching. Tonks had been enjoying her time off from the Ministry, free from paperwork, Fudge, and Scrimgeour. Arthur was out of the hospital and had returned to Grimmauld Place to stay with the family until the kids returned to school. Tonks was going back to work in just two days time, and to say she wasn't looking forward to it, was quite the understatement. She planned on enjoying her last two days of vacation as much as possible.

Late that evening as Tonks was dozing on the couch in her sitting room, she heard Dottie's light tapping on the window. Groggily moving toward the window, she flung it open, untied the letter from Dottie, and tossed her her usual treats. Tonks didn't recognize the handwriting.

_Dear Tonks, please come to headquarters. Nothing urgent, we just need a word._

_Love,_

_Molly_

Tonks was certainly glad Molly had made sure to tell her there was no emergency because that was exactly what Tonks would have thought. Deciding that she would prefer to spend one of her last evenings at Grimmauld Place in the company of Sirius and the Weasleys than at home, Tonks packed a knapsack with clothes for the next morning and the book Remus got her for Christmas. She hastily fastened her traveling cloak as she let Dottie out again for her nightly meanderings.

A few minutes later Tonks was walking down the hallway of Grimmauld Place looking for Molly. "Oh Tonks!" Molly called from the sitting room as Tonks peered into the kitchen.

"Wotcher, Molly," Tonks responded walking out of the kitchen and into the sitting room where, in addition to Molly, she found Mr. Weasley seated on the couch, leg raised on pillows, still healing from the attack, and Mad-Eye. "Anything wrong?"

"Oh goodness, no," Molly answered. "We just need your help tomorrow is all, deary."

"Oh, well what do you need help with?" Tonks asked. She silently hoped Molly wasn't going to ask for help cleaning out anything in Grimmauld Place. She'd heard stories from Sirius and the kids, none of which were very pleasant. She didn't care for Grimmauld Place itself, you could tell there had been a lot of dark magic performed within its walls. She didn't really want to have any part in trying to rid it of the many dark creatures and curses.

"We need you to escort the kids to Hogwarts with Remus tomorrow," Mad-Eye answered.

"Oh," Tonks said, slightly taken aback by the easiness of the request. "Sure. How are we getting there? Taking the underground to station?"

"No," Mad-Eye said. "You'll be taking the Knight Bus. And you're not going to the station."

"What?" Tonks asked.

"We're not taking any more chances, Tonks," Mad-Eye continued. "Potter needs to be protected. We need people with him at all times."

"Do we really think that a Death Eater will show up and try to grab him?"

"We're not sure, Tonks," Arthur answered. "We have no idea whether You-know-Who has discovered this connection, but if he has we don't know what measures he will use to stop it or control it."

"Dumbledore's very worried about Harry," Mrs. Weasley added. "He's to start Occlumency with Severus when he returns to school. We need people with him as much as possible, just in case something happens like it did the other time," she sympathetically looked at her husband.

"Although that time, I found it to be very useful, "Arthur added cheerfully.

The next morning Tonks awoke early to get ready to take the kids back to Hogwarts.

"Tonks?" Molly called.

"Morning Molly," Tonks said pulling open the door.

"Do come down for breakfast when you're ready, Remus is already here."

After changing into the clothes she brought, and experimenting with her hair (deciding on iron grey), Tonks made her way downstairs to the kitchen, taking extra precaution not to trip. She knew it was very early and all the kids were still sleeping. Tonks walked into the kitchen and saw Molly making breakfast and Remus, reading the Daily Prophet and drinking tea.

"Good morning, Tonks," he said as he took a sip from his mug.

"Wotcher, Remus," she responded.

"Oh Tonks!" Mrs. Weasley shouted almost dropping the plate of toast she was carrying to the table. "I didn't even recognize you!"

"Sorry, Molly," Tonks apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just thought I'd go with something different for the occasion.

"It's quite alright dear," Molly said placing the toast on the table and returning to the counter.

"Well, your disguise is certainly holding up if Molly didn't recognize you," Remus said.

"Yes, I suppose so," Tonks responded.

A few minutes later Tonks heard Arthur making his was slowly and cautiously down the stairs followed by Sirius.

"Morning," Sirius said to the room, pulling out a chair for Arthur.

"Wotcher, Sirius, Arthur," Tonks answered. She could hear the kids moving about upstairs.

"So," Sirius asked. "What's the plan?"

"We're going to take the knight bus right from here," Remus said. "We'll drop the kids off right in front of the Hogwarts gate, and then we'll ride the knight bus back."

"Why can't we just apparate back?" Tonks asked. "We'll be outside of the grounds right?"

"Avoid suspicion," Arthur answered. "People will wonder why Harry has two people traveling with him by knight bus that leave right after, instead of going back with the rest of the kids. We don't want any word to get back to Fudge that people are looking out for Harry, especially people that work in the ministry," he looked at Tonks.

"Mad-Eye's idea, no doubt," Sirius said.

"So, any word on the prophecy?" Tonks whispered changing the subject.

"It's still in the Department," Arthur said. "Whatever had a go at me didn't manage to steal it."

"Are we continuing guard duty?" Tonks asked.

"We have to," Remus answered. "It's the only way to ensure that it's safe. We are going to have to take extra precaution though. We don't want anyone else to get hurt."

"Well," Mrs. Weasley whispered to the group (the kids were packing their things upstairs and she didn't want them to hear), "I think that the only thing we're going to be able to do is double up. I certainly don't want Arthur to ever be there alone. I don't want anyone to be there alone."

"Well, Dumbledore will certainly get in contact at the next meeting at let us know how to proceed," Remus answered. Mrs. Weasley opened her mouth to speak, but stopped abruptly when Harry, Hermione, and Ron arrived in the kitchen.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred, and George all joined the breakfast table and ate rather quickly at Molly's ushering. As they were leaving the table and beginning to get their jackets on, Remus decided it was time to move their luggage to the pavement. Tonks quickly bundled herself up, preparing to face the cold winter air, and Remus fastened his jacket. As the kids were rushing around grabbing last minute things and beginning to say their goodbyes, Tonks and Remus began to move their luggage to the pavement. Remus cast a disillusionment charm over the whole lot of it to keep it hidden on the pavement while they called for the knight bus.

Remus took Harry's trunk and proceeded down the front steps, Tonks right behind him carrying Hermione's. On her last trip down the steps in front of Number Twelve, carrying George's trunk, Tonks broke her streak of not falling. One step from the bottom, Tonks lost grip on the trunk and sent it toppling into all the others, her falling behind. As she was bracing herself to hit the pavement, Remus caught her arm and pulled her back upright. Harry's owl Hedwig, hooted in disapproval at Tonks's clumsiness, since she had caused George's trunk to rattle her cage.

"Thank you, Remus," Tonks said blushing. She felt the warmth that she had become accustomed to when Remus' hand touched her.

"My pleasure, Tonks," he said smiling at her. He really did have a wonderful smile. It was so warm and inviting, it shined through the premature lines and scars on his face. It took Tonks a few seconds to realize that she was staring at Remus before she yanked her away and fumbled up the stairs again.

As soon as everyone was finished saying their goodbyes, Tonks and Remus led the kids out of Number Twelve, Tonks hurrying Harry down the steps. Just as soon as they made it past the front steps, the house disappeared into the others.

** "Come on, the quicker we get on the bus the better," said Tonks, there was nervousness in the glance she threw around the square. Lupin flung out his right arm.  
BANG.** **A violently purple, triple-decker bus had appeared out of thin air in front of them, narrowly avoiding the nearest lamppost, which jumped backwards out of its way.**

**Stan Shunpike exited the bus and said, "Welcome to the—"  
"Yes, yes, we know, thank you," said Tonks swiftly. "On, on, get on—" And she shoved Harry forwards towards the steps, past the conductor, who goggled at Harry as he passed.  
" 'Ere-it's 'Arry-!"  
"If you shout his name I will curse you into oblivion," muttered Tonks menacingly, now shunting Ginny and Hermione forwards.  
"I've always wanted to go on this thing," said Ron happily, joining Harry on board and looking around.**  
The knight bus was **crammed with an assortment of mismatched chairs grouped haphazardly around windows. Some of these appeared to have fallen over when the bus stopped abruptly in Grimmauld Place; a few witches and wizards were still getting to their feet, grumbling, and somebody's shopping bag had slid the length of the bus: an unpleasant mixture of frogspawn, cockroaches and custard creams was scattered all over the floor.  
"Looks like we'll have to split up," said Tonks briskly, looking around for empty chairs. "Fred, George and Ginny, if you just take those seats at the back ... Remus can stay with you."**

The bumpy ride on the knight bus did not sit well with Tonks. She could barely keep herself seated as it thundered along the streets. She saw the Hermione was having quite a time with it as well. Tonks looked around at all the other passengers. With the number of people on the bus it would take at least an hour, even for the knight bus, to get them to Hogwarts.

Standing up slowly, holding on to the back of the nearest chair, "I'm going to go see if we can't hurry this along." Hermione nodded slowly in return, Pigwidgeon swaying on her shoulder.

**"Listen, it's 'Ogwarts stop after this," **Tonks heard Stan say to Harry and Ron as he walked toward their seats in the back.** "That bossy woman up front 'oo got on with you, she's given us a little tip to move you up the queue. We're just gonna let Madam Marsh off first, though-there was a retching sound from downstairs, followed by a horrible spattering noise- she's not feeling 'er best." **Tonks wanted to argue Stan calling her "bossy." She wasn't being bossy; she just wanted them moved up in line. The kids needed to get to the safety of the school, especially Harry.

After dropping off Madam Marsh, there was another loud crack sending Tonks flying backwards, and the bus appeared right outside of the Hogwarts gates. Remus and Tonks helped the kids get their luggage off the bus, and then said their goodbyes. Remus was talking to Harry as Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Fred, and George were saying their goodbyes to Tonks.

"Thank you so much for taking us, Tonks," Hermione said sweetly.

"No problem, Hermione. Take care of yourselves," she said to all of them hugging each one. "And stay out of trouble," she looked particularly at Fred and George.

"You sound like our mum, Tonks," Fred said.

"Indeed," added George. "But of course we'll keep out of trouble. Wouldn't dream of stepping out of line." Tonks laughed with the rest of them.

"Seriously though," she added. "You need to watch out for that," she lowered her voice to a whisper almost as if the winged boars in front of the gates could hear her, "that Umbridge woman. She's no good."

"We'll be careful, Tonks," said Ginny.

"Yeah," Ron added. "Bye Tonks!"

Remus and Tonks watched the six kids trudge up the snow covered pathway to the castle and then boarded the knight bus again. Tonks noticed that all of the witches and wizards on the bus had been staring at Harry and now had broken into whispers about him. It took all of her strength not to silence them all. She didn't even want to know what they were saying about him.

"After you, Tonks," Remus said gesturing to the two seats that Tonks and Hermione previously filled.

"Oh, er, thank you, Remus," Tonks replied taking her seat and holding the sides of her chair to brace herself. A loud crack came immediately and the knight bus was speeding down a muggle street in the heart of London.

"You know," Tonks said after readjusting her seat. "I think we're going to get stuck being the last ones off here. Stan wasn't too happy that I wanted the kids to jump the queue. I don't really see what the problem was," she raised her voice slightly, hoping that Stan might hear her. "We just wanted to get them back to school safely." She crossed her arms in defiance.

"So," Remus began shifting his armchair on the bus to face Tonks. "Have you started to read the book?"

"Yes, I have," Tonks said turning her chair away from the window to face Remus.

"Any change on the feelings about your name?"

"Well, I've really enjoyed reading it, and I have learned a lot about Nymphs, but I don't think I'm going to let anyone call me by my first name any time soon." Remus laughed in response. "You'd think that my mum would have stopped with the long names," Tonks said.

"Pardon?" Remus asked.

"Well, I'm sure Sirius has told you about my family, well my mum's side anyway."

"Yes, he has."

"Well, that's just it. My mum's name is Andromeda, but my dad's name is Ted. I would think my mum would give a simpler name like my dad's."

"Well, Nymphadora," Tonks cringed at the name, Remus began, "is a beautiful name and after all, you've read all the wonderful qualities that Nymphs possess."

"Yeah," Tonks began, "I suppose I wouldn't mind it as much if my mum had read the book and named my because of that. But like I've said, I think she was just off her rocker."

"Have you ever asked what the purpose was behind your name?"

"Not really. I think my mum would have mentioned it by now the way I complain about it. I've gone so far as not to answer when she calls me, but my dad always keeps the peace. He calls me Dora, you see."

"That's a rather pretty name as well."

"Thanks, I like it. My dad's always called me it since I was little, but my mum never caught on."

"Ah."

"Yeah, she refuses to call me anything but my name. That's fine for her because she gave it to me, and she doesn't have to be called by it." Remus nodded in response. Tonks didn't say anything else, but merely stared out the window again.

"So," she started, turning back towards Remus, "do you think he's going to be ok?"

"Who?" Remus asked.

"Harry," Tonks whispered. "I mean with…everything."

"Yes, I do think he'll be ok. He's a strong boy, stronger than anyone I've ever met. He's seen and been through so much, but he keeps going. He's very driven. You saw how much he wanted to be a part of the Order."

"I know, er, Padfoot worries about him," she didn't want to talk about Sirius by name.

"I think we all do, especially Padfoot."

"I suppose he feels bad he can't help him more, but really when he's in Hogwarts there's nothing any of us can do now with that nasty Umbridge woman there."

"I know that Padfoot deeply regrets that he couldn't be there for Harry all these years. He made a promise to James, and he wasn't able to fulfill that because of his…situation."

"I mean that wasn't his fault," Tonks voice began to raise, but she lowered it again, upon seeing Remus' face; his kind eyes reminded her she needed to keep calm while in view of all the other passengers. "That wasn't his fault," she whispered leaning toward him, "it was that rat Pettigrew. He's the reason Sirius, sorry Padfoot," she quickly recovered, "never got a chance to be there for Harry." Remus began to laugh quietly. Tonks thought over what she said, "No pun intended," she added laughing along with Remus. She really did enjoy his laugh. It was warm and throaty, and his smile made it all the better.

Suddenly, the violent purple bus jerked and halted, which sent Tonks flying forward straight out of her chair. She yelped and cursed as she tried to stand up after the bus had dropped off one of its passengers and started moving again. Remus came forward, cautiously holding onto chairs as he made his way to her. He held his hand out her as she lay in a heap on the floor. She felt herself smiling at him as she took his hand. The familiar warm sensation she felt returned, as he pulled her to her feet. She desperately hoped her hair hadn't changed colors. She felt herself still stupidly smiling at him as they walked back to their seats, Remus' hand on her shoulder to steady her, and sat. It took her a moment to realize she wasn't the only one smiling. Remus too was smiling right at her, his kind eyes looking right at hers.

Just as quickly as she noticed his smiling, Remus turned away, his eyes nonchalantly roaming the bus.

"We can't be far from our stop now," he said. "So many people have gotten off already." Within five minutes, the bus stopped at Grimmauld place and Remus and Tonks descended the steps and walked into Number Tweleve. The bus disappeared into the morning air.

Tonks joined Remus and Sirius in the living room after making some hot chocolate for the three of them, quite successfully with no spills.

"Thanks Tonks," Sirius said taking his cup from her.

"Yes, thank you Tonks," Remus added taking his own.

"You're welcome. I love hot chocolate," she said sitting down next to Sirius on the couch. "I drink it all year round, especially in the evening, probably because I'm so bloody cold all the time."

After talking for several hours as they always did when they were together, Sirius went upstairs to feed Buckbeak, and Remus was making his way into the kitchen to find something to make for dinner.

"Will you be staying for dinner, Tonks?" He called to her from the kitchen.

"No, I don't think so," Tonks answered. She wanted to, but it was rather later and she had to get up for work the next for the first time in a while. "I go back to work tomorrow. I'm going to try and head in early."

"Alright then. Goodnight Tonks," he said peering out of the kitchen doorway as Tonks made her way down the hall. "It was nice working with you today."

"Goodnight Remus. It was er, nice working with you too," Tonks found herself fumbling over her words. "''Night Sirius!" She called loudly so he would hear her upstairs. "I'll see you at the next meeting!"

A sort of revelation came to Tonks as she was fastening her traveling coat and saw Remus walking back into the living room to get the cups of hot chocolate to put them away in the kitchen. Throughout the whole day, and a few others she realized, all she pictured in her mind was that throaty laugh and warm smile. She rather fancied Remus Lupin. It had been so long since she liked anyone, probably since school. She couldn't stand anyone she worked with in the Ministry, and hadn't known many other people in her adult life. He was older, but not by too much, and they got along well enough. She certainly embarrassed herself enough in front of him.

Tonks was walking through the dim hallways of the ministry on her way back from lunch when she ran into Arthur. He was going to the Auror Department as well to speak with Kingsley about some muggle artifacts being hexed in Yorkshire.

"Afternoon, Tonks," he said happily.

"Wotcher, Arthur," she said.

"Enjoying your first day back at work?"

"Oh, it's thrilling," she responded sarcastically. "And you?"

"Well, frankly, I'm right glad I'm able to still walk around here," he said. Tonks suddenly felt very guilty. Arthur had been through much and he still came to work with a smile on his face. "Although, it has been rather hard dodging people's questions."

"Right, well we're all glad to have you back," Tonks said as they were going to part ways inside the auror department.

"Oh Tonks," he called as she was walking toward her desk, "Molly told me to tell you she's having dinner for everyone on Friday. Nothing to do with…you know, no business, just a nice dinner for everyone, nothing fancy, she told me to invite you."

"Oh, thanks Arthur," Tonks said, suddenly her week looked a lot brighter.

"Friday at 7 at er, the usual place," he added carefully.

"I'll definitely be there," Tonks added.

As usual work dragged on that week, but Tonks finally made it to Friday. She came home from work, changed, and let Dottie outside before heading to Grimmauld Place.

When she arrived Number Twelve was missing as usual, but slowly began to take form as she walked toward the front door. Upon entering, Tonks was greeted with a multitude of mouthwatering smells. She could guess that Molly had been cooking for hours.

"Good evening, Tonks," Remus said, arriving right behind her, with two cases of fire whiskey and wine in bags, one in each hand.

She smiled at him, "Wotcher, Remus. Do you need any help?"

"Er, no, no thank you, I've got it." He went to move forward as Tonks went to place her traveling cloak on the hook, they were stuck facing each other.

"I'm sorry," she added quickly staring at him.

"It's quite alright," he added smiling. "I should have let you go past me," he stepped aside, but still had his eyes on her.

"Well, er…" Tonks said unable to find anything to say. "I'll er, just hang…I'll just hang up my coat then."

"Er, right, and I'll…I'll take this then. I'm sure Molly will have some place for me to put it." He smiled and walked toward the kitchen. Tonks was quite shocked. She had never heard Remus stutter before.

After hanging her coat and coming into the kitchen, Tonks saw a few people scattered around the table waiting for dinner. She heard a few more voices from the sitting room, and supposed a few more people were coming.

At exactly seven, as promised, Molly called for everyone to sit, the whole Order, apart from the Hogwarts staff, had turned up. Tonks walked to the far end of the table and took a seat across from Sirius and next to Remus.

"Well everyone," Molly began from the head of the table where she sat, Arthur to her right, "I'm glad you all could join us tonight," she smiled her loving motherly smile at all of them. "I just thought it would be nice to get together without any Order business to discuss, just a nice dinner for all of us to enjoy. I hope that there's something everyone will like," she added almost self consciously.

"Mum, everyone enjoys anything you cook," Bill Weasley added.

"Yeah," said the deep voice of Kinglsey a few seats from Arthur, "you could make cardboard taste good, Molly."

"Oh well thank you," Molly said blushing.

"Ahem, dear," Arthur said.

"Oh right, well go on and eat everyone."

Immediately forks and spoons began to clank and people began to pass their plates. Tonks looked around the table; there was food from the end near her all the way to the other end in front of Molly. She had to have cooked everything imaginable. There was chicken, all types of vegetables, salads, casseroles, and several different kinds of potatoes. Tonks could hear everyone happily chattering between bites as she decided on what she was going to put on her plate.

She reached for the mashed potatoes in front of her, unknowingly, at the same moment Remus did. As they each reached for the long wooden spoon dipped into the potatoes, their hands hit into each other. Immediately Tonks felt a tingly jolt of heat in her hand. She and Remus yanked their hands backward simultaneously, which caused the large spoon that Tonks almost had her grip on fly through the air, flinging mashed potatoes everywhere. Her arm flung back into her silverware, knocking them to the ground in a loud clank. The wine glass next to her was smashed to the floor, sending wine spilling onto her lap, when her elbow hit it in an attempt to catch the falling silverware. She quickly glanced up at Remus, embarrassedly, from the falling silverware. He shot her an equally embarrassed panicky look. Tonks quickly flung her head away and took in the scene around her. The room had gone silent and everyone was staring at her, quite awestruck. Everyone, except for Molly, whose eyes were shifting quickly from Remus to Tonks. Tonks placed her elbows on the table and slammed her head into her hands. How could she have made such a huge spectacle of herself at Molly's dinner? Everyone in the order was there, everyone! And there were all staring at her. What had caused her to jump back like that? Remus did the same thing. Why was everyone staring at her and not him? Well, that was easy, she was the klutz and everyone just assumed it was only her fault.

"I'm so sorry," she said lifting her head slowly and painfully out of her hands. "So, sorry. I don't…I don't know what came over me, just got a little jittery at the moment."

"That's quite alright, Tonks," Mrs. Weasley said whipping her wand out, sending the spoon back into the bowl and the strewn potatoes into the trash bin at the other end of the kitchen.

"Reparo," Remus said fixing the wine glass that had smashed. Another flick of his wand cleaned the spilt wine off of her lap.

"Well, the weather's been bloody frigid the past couple of weeks," Arthur said breaking the silence. There were a few murmurs of "yeses" and nods of agreement until the conversation broke out again. Tonks wanted nothing more than to sink beneath the table and disappear entirely.

"Here, Tonks," Bill said kindly. "I'll pour you some more wine," he motioned to the bottle in the center of the table in front of him.

"Thanks Bill," Tonks said handing her drink to him, hands slightly shaking. She knew she needed to get herself together.

Everyone had gone back to happily chatting away; seemingly forgetting that Tonks had just halted the dinner completely and embarrassed herself in front of everyone yet again.

"Merlin Tonks," Sirius whispered to her, "you get clumsier every day," he laughed.

"Thanks Sirius," Tonks answered defeated, taking a sip of her wine.

"I'm only joking, Tonks," he added taking a bit of his chicken. "Trying to liven you up a bit."

"Well, thanks, but I think I've been lively enough for one evening."

"Oh Tonks, everyone knows you're a bit clumsy sometimes, no one's shocked. It's fine. No harm done, try to enjoy yourself."

Tonks attempted to take Sirius' advice. She tried to forget about the episode that started the dinner and chatted with everyone else over various topics. Once everyone was finished with dinner, having had several helpings and promising they were full, Molly brought out desserts she had made. Once again, Molly had outdone herself, desserts covered the table. Even though everyone had proclaimed they were full, they all somehow found a way to make some more room.

After dessert everyone gathered in the sitting room, extra chairs provided from the rest of the house by Sirius, to drink tea and coffee. Sirius brought in mugs, the sugar bowl, and cream as Arthur lit a fire.

Tonks sat in an old dusty armchair, brought down from one of the bedrooms upstairs sipping tea. She was listening to Arthur and Kingsley talking about bewitched kettles, something to do with Arthur's department in the Ministry. Hestia, Emmaline, and Molly were sitting on the couch talking about new recipes they'd just read in the new addition of "Witch Weekly." Remus, Mundungus, Sirius, and Bill were all seated in the corner of the room, near the fire, talking about Gringotts, and Mad-Eye and Charlie were standing hear the stairs talking about Charlie's work in Romania with dragons. Tonks threw her legs casually over the arm of the chair. She quite enjoyed being with all the members of the Order without discussing business for a change. It was a welcome break for everyone.

Since Tonks wasn't speaking with anyone, it gave her mind time to wander. She didn't know what had caused the episode at the beginning of dinner, or the meaning of Remus' uncharacteristic brief stuttering when they'd met in the hallway. One thing was sure though, Remus hadn't met her gaze the entire evening.

Well, that was it. Sorry it took so long. I was on vacation for a bit and then had some other things going on. Hopefully, the next chapter will be out really soon. :]  
Please Review! :]


	17. The Breakout

So, I'm back. I'm trying to continue as quickly as I can while keeping up the quality of the story. School starts soon and I know it'll be difficult to write, so I'm trying to get as much finished as I can.

**Chapter 17-The Breakout**

_Tonks-meeting tonight at 7:00, _read an interdepartmental memo from Arthur.

Tonks didn't even wonder what the meeting was going to be about that night. It had been going around the office all day, and she had seen the papers. There had been a mass breakout from Azkaban. Ten prisoners had escaped in the night, including Antonin Dolohov, Algernon Rookwood, and Bellatrix Lestrange. Tonks filled with hated as she read over Bellatrix's name in the prophet. She was a murderous evil woman who brutally terrorized Frank and Alice Longbottom after Voldemort had fallen from power. Tonks hated that she was related to someone like that. She thought of her mum. Bellatrix was Andromeda's sister. They hadn't spoken years before Bellatrix had been taken to Azkaban because Andromeda had been exiled from the family. She'd never fit into their life of pureblood superiority and dark magic, but her engagement to the muggle-born Ted Tonks had sealed the deal on her exile. Tonks was glad that she and her mum had nothing to do with her mum's family, but she worried slightly. She wondered if Bellatrix hated her family enough to come after them. She had to put the thought from her mind because Fudge was striding up the office, a mixed look of anxiety and agitation on his face. Scrimgeour was following closely behind him.

"Everyone," Scrimgeour called from the center of the room, his voice magnified. "The Minister of Magic has to speak to us."

"Morning," Fudge said rather forcefully. He received several mutterings of "morning" from the group of aurors seated in their cubicles around the office.

"I'm sure all of you have heard about the mass breakout from Azkaban prison." The group of Aurors around the office nodded. "We believe that this breakout was initiated by Sirius Black." There were several gasps around the office. "A breakout of this magnitude warrants outside help, and Black is the ideal person to do that since he has escaped before. We believe that Black is acting as the leader of the group."

"Sir," a woman in the corner of the room asked, "What about the dementors?"

"What about them?"

"Well, are we using them to help find the escaped prisoners?"

"No. This will be a purely wizard effort."

"But why sir?"

"It doesn't matter," Fudge appeared to be getting flustered. Tonks knew why Fudge didn't want the dementors helping. They'd changed sides just as Dumbledore predicted. That's why they didn't stop the breakout.

"Sir," a man seated next to Fudge called, "why didn't the dementors sense the breakout and stop it? It's not the like prisoners have their wands."

"It's been done before," Fudge said coldly. "We're not sure how they're doing it."

"But before there was only one escapee. Now there are ten. Surely they could have sensed all those people."

"With Black's help they were able to escape the same way he did."  
"But Sir, how could Black get near enough to help them. It just doesn't make any sense does it?"

"We're looking into it," Fudge was getting very uncomfortable.

"Are we looking for them, Sir?" Someone from the other end of the room asked.

"We have set a task force already to start looking. We can't have everyone go. We need some people to stay here in case there is an attack. We believe that they are all together, rallying around Black." Tonks was so angry it took everything in power not to say anything. Blaming Sirius for his own mistakes, how low could Fudge sink? He knew Dumbledore had been right all along, and he was putting the whole world, both magic and muggle, in danger because he didn't want to admit his mistake.

"Minister," the auror across from Tonks asked, "Didn't we have someone tailing Black? Trying to track his movements?"

"Yes, Kingsley was leading that investigation, last we checked with thought Black was hiding out somewhere near Singapore."

"Well, how could Black have made that much movement without his knowing, without even some idea? How would black have traveled at all without someone seeing him?" Tonks began to get very nervous. Kingsley knew exactly where Sirius was, he'd been leading the investigation awry for months.

"Black's been traveling without anyone seeing him since he escaped, but we are going to speak to Kingsley about what has happened these past few days," Fudge said seemingly delighted to have the conversation focused on someone else. "We'll all need to be in tip top shape. Any one of you could be called out at any moment to help, so be prepared." Tonks tried her best not to be excited because she loathed Fudge so much, but the prospect of finally going after Death Eaters was very exciting.

That night Tonks was seated around the kitchen table with the rest of the Order. Mad-Eye stood to begin the meeting.

"Evening, everyone," he growled.

"Evening," the Order members grumbled back.

"I'm sure you all know why we're here. The breakout from Azkaban. This is far worse than we hoped, but it's not unanticipated. Dumbledore knew something like this was going to happen. We've been slacking with guard duty up until now because of recent events," he looked toward Mr. Weasley. "But, we don't really have that option anymore. With all these people out there's no telling what they're up to. They could know where Voldemort is, or they might be looking. No doubt they've all gotten a hold of wands already, though some probably don't even need them anymore. If they're with Voldemort, there's no doubt that he could try and use them to get into the Department. We can't take any more chances; we know what we signed up for." Mrs. Weasley shot him a dark glare. Tonks didn't blame her, she almost lost her husband and Mad-Eye was making it seem like nothing had happened. "No one's doing guard duty without an invisibility cloak," he said. "I have a few that we can use. However, you still have to watch your back. A powerful enough wizard could see through that."

Suddenly Kingsley walked into the room and took his seat at the top of the table near Arthur. "Sorry I'm late everyone," he said. "Fudge and Scrimgeour just finished interrogating me."

"What happened, Kingsley?" Arthur asked. "I was worried they might try to pin this on you."

"Well, I've been leading the investigation on our dear friend Sirius here," he pointed to Sirius who was seated at the other end of the table. He gave a casual wave and smile.

"The last I reported he was sighted somewhere in Singapore. Well, some aurors and Fudge were wondering how Black managed to get from there to Azkaban without my knowledge. They think he's responsible for the mass breakout."

"What did they ask you?" Molly asked.

"They just wanted to know where I was getting my information and how long it'd been since I followed any leads. I think they're rather angry; they didn't get anything from me. I suppose Fudge was looking for someone to fire to show the prophet."

"Good work, Kingsley," Mad-Eye said.

"Now, our friends working in the ministry," Mad-Eyes eyes swept the table, "Tonks, Kingsley, Hestia, Emmaline, and Arthur, you need to be very careful—constant vigilance! Fudge is going to be watching all of you closely. He's going to be looking for an excuse to fire anyone, he needs to make a show for the prophet, and he's not exactly fans of any of you."

"Also," Arthur began, "we really need watch our backs. Try not to go anywhere alone, don't enter your house if it looks like someone's tampered with it, and if you think someone's under the imperius curse notify one of us immediately. We'll decide whether to take it to the ministry. The Death Eaters are going to find out who's on Dumbledore's side and come after them, and we're first on the list."

"Anyone else got anything to say?" Mad-Eye growled. Remus raised his hand slightly in response.

"I have news from underground," he said casually. The full moon had just passed, and Remus looked tired and worn as usual. "They didn't know anything about the breakout, so I doubt they were involved, but they are waiting for Him to come to them. Last time he promised them better treatment, and they're not going to give up that chance. I have no doubt that he will soon have them on his side. If you see anyone known to be a werewolf do not approach them. They are dangerous and out for blood." Tonks felt horrible for Remus. It must be awful for him to talk about people who shared his affliction as dangerous.

"We need to make sure everyone is aware of how to fight off dementors," Emmaline said.

"A quick reminder would be nice I think," Arthur said.

"Well," began Emmaline. "Dementors are countered by a patronus, and I know everyone here can produce them. We believe that the dementors have changed sides, so we have to be very cautious. Where ever there is one there will no doubt be others. You have to make sure that your patronus is strong and is able to last. It will only last as long as you can think of whatever happy memory you've chosen, so concentration is very important, as well as the level of happiness the memory brings you. I would suggest that everyone start thinking of happy memories, so they are easily accessible if ever corned by a dementor."

Mad-Eye ended the meeting, Molly started tea, and the Order members began to chat among themselves.

"Tonks," Sirius called from the kitchen doorway. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure," Tonks answered unsure of what Sirius wanted to tell her. Tonks followed Sirius into the sitting room, where they could talk in private.

"Tonks, you know who escaped from Azkaban right?"

"Of course, ten high security prisoners."

"But, you do know who one of those prisoners was," he asked a little nervously. Tonks suddenly realized what he wanted to tell her.

"Yeah, Bellatrix," she answered.

"Yes. Tonks I just want to tell you to be careful. Bellatrix is completely mad."

"Thank you, Sirius, but I think Bellatrix has bigger worries at the moment than coming after me." She tried to appear brave. She had worried slightly about Bellatrix possible coming after her mum, but honestly she never worried about herself.

"Don't underestimate her Tonks. You don't know her like I do, like your mum does. She's obsessed with keeping the wizarding world pure, and nothing's going to get in her way. She's a really powerful witch. She disowned your mum after she married Ted, Andromeda disgraced the family. Bellatrix can't stand that anyone in her family associates with muggles or muggle borns or blood traitors. She's already hurt so many people, and she's not going to pass up the chance to kill the people who soiled her family tree. You need to watch out for yourself, and you need to tell your mum to watch out too. You mum gave up her pureblood family for a muggle born and Bellatrix is never going to forgive her for that. You need to tell your mum to increase whatever protection she's got around the house. Make sure she and Ted don't go anywhere alone if they can help it." Tonks nodded in agreement. "Tonks, these people, our whole family ruined my whole life. Living with them was the worst experience I've ever had. Bellatrix is even worse than they were. She tortured Frank and Alice Longbottom after Voldemort fell. She was so desperate to find him again that she destroyed two people's lives, and even when they didn't have anything to tell her she continued just because she could. We lost two members of the Order, and I'm not losing you to her too."

"Thank you, Sirius, I'll write to my mum and tell her to increase her protective charms, but you don't need to worry about me. I'm an auror and I've got loads of charms around my flat."

"He's right, Tonks," Remus said. "I'm sorry for interrupting. I didn't know who were talking privately in here. But Sirius is right, Tonks. Bellatrix is an evil woman and she has no value for human life. She can't get to Sirius, but she can get to you and your family. You need to be careful."

She looked at the two men, they were both perfectly serious.

"I promise, I'll be careful," she said.

That night when Tonks went home she wrote a letter to her mum and dad. What Sirius said about Bellatrix really worried her. She knew her mum and her family didn't get along, she was exiled for marrying her dad. She knew that Bellatrix hated muggle borns and anything to do with them; she wanted to make sure her parents were safe.

_ Dear mum,_

_ I'm sure you've seen in the papers about the breakout from Azkaban. I'm sure you recognized at least one of names. Mum, I'm worried about you and dad. Bellatrix is mad and I know that she despises that you married dad. I don't want her coming after you. Please increase the protective charms around the house and try not to go out alone or in the dark, and if you think anyone's under the imperius curse get away from them and tell someone in the ministry or me. ~Dora_

The next morning, Dottie was waiting on the window sill with a reply.

_ Dear Nymphadora,_

_ Yes, I've seen the papers, and it does worry me too. We set more charms around the house the minute we found out. We don't go anywhere alone if we can help it, and there's no way your father would let me go anywhere after dark alone anyway. Nymphadora, I want you to be careful too, I'm worried about her, especially because you're going after her. _If only her mum knew that Tonks wasn't involved in that at all. _I know you've never known my family, but you have to understand that they are evil people, especially Bellatrix. She was furious when I married your father because I disgraced the family. She nearly tried to kill him the first time she found out. Trust me, the fact that you had nothing to do with our marriage or my family will not bother her. I'm sure she'll consider it a personal victory if she can bring you down. Please, be very careful. Update your protection and don't go places after dark. I love you, and dad sends his love too! ~mum_

Tonks was sitting at her desk when she received an interdepartmental memo, _Tonks, your turn this week._ It was from Arthur, they had to be as vague as possible when communicating about Order business. Without even thinking about it, Tonks knew what it meant. It had been almost three weeks since the last meeting, and people had been rotating shifts. Mad-Eye had met her outside of her flat unexpectedly a few days before and given her one of his invisibility cloaks.

Tonks was less than enthusiastic to start her turn. She liked helping the Order, but hated having to stay up all night. She didn't have any days off this week; all auror vacations had been temporarily stopped while they dealt with the breakout. Tonks wasn't sure why everyone's vacation got taken away; Scrimgeour had only allowed a few people on the task force to look for the Death Eaters. He was making all the other aurors stay in the ministry and continue with their paper work, waiting in case something happened close to the ministry. Tonks didn't understand Fudge. He refused to believe Dumbledore and didn't give him any credit for figuring out that the dementors would escape months ago. What did it matter now that Dumbledore was right when everyone was in danger? Surely the smartest thing to do would be to have every auror out trying to catch the Death Eaters. She wondered why the public didn't worry about this, but she supposed the Prophet was giving a Fudge-approved version of the story which stated he was doing all that he could. Tonks knew the truth. Fudge had no idea where these Death Eaters were and he wanted aurors near him and the wizards in London in case they decided to turn up, what a coward.

That night Tonks began her guard duty. She walked around by the Department of Mysteries, finally settling into a corner around midnight. It was nice to have to cloak around her, she didn't have to worry as much about being attacked. She sat with paper work on her lap and began to write. Around three, she felt herself becoming sleepy, and she knocked her ink bottle over. She quickly she cleaned it up, and the adrenaline from the rush of it woke her back up.

The next morning, as the first of ministry workers were arriving, Tonks gathered up her things and headed up to the auror department. She walked extra carefully to be sure she didn't drop anything. If anyone found her in the cloak she could be fired, and even worse the Order's patrol could be compromised.

Almost two weeks had passed, and Tonks was exhausted. She wasn't getting any sleep. She still couldn't take off from work, and she'd had guard duty every night. She'd been to her flat about five times for a total of about thirty minutes. She'd only gone home to make sure the place hadn't burned down and to change. She also sent Dottie to stay with her parents for a while. The poor thing hadn't been able to get back in the flat during the rain one night when Tonks wasn't home. Tonks attached a small package of owl treats and a letter to Dottie's foot.

_Mum and dad,_

_ I've been working like crazy for the past few weeks, what with all this going on with the breakout. Please watch Dottie for me. She's stays out most of the time, but she needs a place to stay sometimes during the day and when it's raining. The package has her owl treats in it. I'll talk to you soon! Thanks!_

_~Dora_

Tonks was dragging herself through work the next day. She couldn't take it anymore. She hadn't slept or eaten properly in days. She knew she signed up for this when she joined the Order, but she'd be no good if she was this tired. She would just have to tell Mad-Eye, and they would have to figure out who else could take guard duty that night.

Tonks decided to sneak out of work a little early and head to Grimmauld Place. She thought perhaps she'd be lucky and Mad-Eye would be there, or she could ask Sirius who she could ask to take her place.

Tonks practically dragged herself through the front door and into the sitting room of Grimmauld Place, where she plopped herself onto the couch. To her surprise, Tonks found Molly and Arthur there as well.

"Hello, Tonks dear!" Molly said walking into the living room. "What brings you here?"  
"Hello, Molly, I just stopped, er, I just stopped in from work before guard duty. You?"

"Well, I wanted to make sure that Sirius and Remus had something to eat. You look exhausted dear, would you like a cup of tea?"

"No thank you, Molly," I think I'll just lie here.

"Alright, dear."

Tonks lay on the couch, trying her best not to fall asleep. She just wanted to rest her eyes.

"Hello, Tonks," Remus said as he was walking down the stairs.

"Wotcher, Remus," Tonks responded, eyes still closed. She opened her eyes reluctantly and sat up. "Do you know where Sirius is?"

"He' sleeping."

"Already?"

"He's been very worried about Harry recently. From what we've heard Umbridge is getting even worse. He hasn't been sleeping at all. I tried to convince him to take a sleeping potion, but he wouldn't hear of it. I went upstairs get a book, and I saw him passed out in his room. Do you need him for something?"

"Well no, it's just, I wanted to ask him something." Arthur walked into the living room at that moment, looking for some papers he left on the table.

"Evening, Tonks," he said cheerily stacking the papers.

"Wotcher, Arthur." She returned to speaking to Remus.

"It's nothing it's just, I'm dead tired, exhausted, I haven't slept in more than a week. I'll be no good on guard duty tonight. I just wanted to know if he knew who I should ask to switch with me.

Right then Arthur walked over to her, and grabbed the invisibility cloak out of her hand. "Not to worry, Tonks," he said. "I know they've been cracking down on you lot at the ministry, you get some rest, and I'll go on guard duty tonight." Tonks didn't have time to object, Arthur was in the hallway saying goodbye to Molly before she had time to open her mouth. She saw Molly tell Arthur to be careful and kiss him on the forehead. He kissed her on the cheek and gave her a smile, a genuine and cheery one, and headed out the door.

Tonks felt an immense wave of guilt wash over her, what had she just done? She didn't want Arthur to go; he'd been through enough already. Now Molly was going to have to worry about him for another night. How could Tonks have been so selfish? Now Arthur was in danger again. Why was she so weak and such a baby about it? She was an auror for Merlin's sake, and she pawned her job off onto someone else. Arthur worked every day just like Tonks, and he had a lot more on his mind, and he was willing to do her job for her. She was a horrible person. She couldn't take the guilt; she felt the tears start falling down her cheeks. She put her face into her hands, and let the tears continue.

"Tonks, Tonks are you crying?" Remus asked, sounding worried. Tonks just continued to cry, she couldn't muster an answer.

"Tonks, it's alright," he said moving to sit next to her on the couch. "Tonks, what's wrong?"

Tonks sniffled trying to pull herself together, so she could talk. "How…how could I have done that?"

"Done what?" Remus seemed thoroughly confused.

"Let Arthur go on guard duty for me. That was such a selfish thing to do."

"No, no, Tonks. It wasn't selfish. You're too exhausted to be of any use to the Order, and it's better to have someone there who'll be alert. Arthur didn't mind it; he hasn't hard guard duty for a while."

"Molly's going to hate me. I just made her husband go back to where he was attacked last time."

"Tonks, Molly is not going to hate you, and you did not make Arthur do it."

"I just, I can't believe I did that. Arthur's got so much more to worry about than I do, and now he's out there again. I should have just sucked it up and gone."

"Tonks, stop beating yourself up. You're exhausted, and you would have been no good. You did the right thing."

"No I didn't. Arthur works just the same as me, everyone in the Order does, and none of them have complained."

"Tonks, please stop. Arthur hasn't had guard duty in a while, and he was happy to do it for you. It's hard to work all day and then stay awake all night for it. You would have helped someone else. We all help each other."

"No one else complains, or gets tired. No one else gets too exhausted."

"Tonks, you've been working nonstop and have had no break; you're under a lot of pressure. It's ok."

"No it's not. Kingsley's under the same pressure."

"I know, but he hasn't been on guard duty the past few weeks."

"Everyone does, everyone works all day and does guard duty at night when it's their turn. Everyone does their job but me."

"Tonks, that's not true."

"Yes, it is, Remus. You do your job for the Order. You go underground even when your miserable and you come back and report what you've seen, you never complain."

"The circumstances are very different, Tonks."

"No they aren't," she began to sob again. What was wrong with her, she was blubbering like a fool.

"Tonks, please, enough of this. Look at yourself, you're exhausted and you're making yourself sick over it. You need to rest." Tonks tried to object, but Remus kept going. "Arthur did not mind going on guard duty. He hasn't had it for a few weeks, and he was fine with it. Molly's not going to be angry with you, no one is. Of course, she's worried about Arthur, but he's a lot safer now with the cloak." Tonks had finally stopped sobbing. Maybe Remus was right. She did need rest, she would never have cried like this in front of someone, especially someone from the Order, especially him.

"Now," he said. Why don't you go upstairs for a bit and get some sleep. Sirius will be glad to have your company when he gets up."

"Thank you Remus," Tonks said weakly, tears still fresh on her face.

"Now now," he said smiling raising his thumb to her eyes. "You're much to pretty to cry," he wiped the tears from under her eyes. He was smiling right at her, and she managed to smile in return. Quickly, there smiles faded into stares. She knew she was staring right in his eyes, and he hers. For some reason, Tonks felt that she couldn't look away. Neither of them had said anything. Tonks just became aware of how closely they were sitting. Although, it was only a few seconds, it felt like hours. They were both still, still staring into each other's eyes.

Remus broke the trance they seemed to share. He turned his head away rapidly.  
"I'm er; I'm going to head into the kitchen. You should go upstairs and rest." He stood up and left immediately. Tonks didn't know what was going on, maybe she was going mad?

She did intend on heading upstairs, but once she closed her eyes, and lay back on the couch, she immediately fell asleep.

Tonks fluttered her eyes groggily. She had no idea what time it was. Where was she? She looked around, and after thinking for a second, remembered she was in the sitting room at Grimmauld Place. She was on the couch with an old blanket draped over her.

"Oh, Tonks," she heard someone say, "You're awake." Remus had walked into the room. Tonks tried to grumble something in response.

"I hope you aren't too warm, but I thought you might be cold. I found it in a cupboard upstairs. I checked it and there didn't seem to be anything wrong with it, no creatures living in it, or spells put on it to strangle you." Tonks lazily laughed in reply.

Remus left the room and returned a moment, with a mug and grilled cheese sandwich.

"Here you are," he said sitting them on the table in front of her.

"Hot chocolate instead of tea? And grilled cheese!" Tonks couldn't hide her excitement if she tried.

"I know you prefer hot chocolate to tea and Molly told me you enjoyed grilled cheese."

"Thank you, Remus. That was so nice of you."

"You're welcome, Tonks."

"Where's Sirius?"

"He still hasn't woken up; I suppose he'll sleep through the night. He needs it."

"How long was I asleep?"

"About 4 hours, it's almost eight thirty." Tonks was amazed at how much better she felt after having gotten such a little amount of sleep. She couldn't wait to find out how she would feel after sleeping in her bed for a while. The grilled cheese was delicious, and Tonks was touched that Remus remembered that she liked hot chocolate.

After she was finished eating, and offered many thanks to Remus, Tonks decided to head home. She still had to work the next morning, and she wanted to get as much sleep as possible.

That night, as Tonks lay in bed on the verge of sleep, she had the same image in her head that had become more prominent over the past few weeks. It was Remus. His laugh and his smile, and his warm eyes. She was still dwelling on what had happened earlier that day. She couldn't explain the moment they had, there was something more between them, but it was unspoken and she wasn't sure what it was.


	18. Falling Apart

So, here's the next chapter. I'm anticipating not getting them out very fast because of school and all, although college does give one more freedom. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. If you could leave a review on your way out that would just make me so so happy. :] Thank you and hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 18**

**Falling Apart**

It had been a few weeks since Tonks was on guard duty. During that time, the Order had two meetings, but nothing new was surfacing. Remus had gone underground once the moon was full again to be with the werewolves and did his best to get information about them, Kingsley was still giving false information to the task force set up to capture Sirius and the death eaters, and Sirius was going mad being stuck inside the house with Kreacher. Tonks could tell that not being able to contact Harry was really getting to him. Things were getting progressively worse at Hogwarts, Umbridge was getting more power, and they all knew it had to be miserable for Harry. Plus, Harry was taking Occlumency with Snape, and Sirius was very worried that he would treat Harry unfairly.

One evening after work Tonks decided to stop at Grimmauld Place to check on Sirius. Mad-Eye discouraged the members from going there too often when there wasn't a meeting because it caused suspicion, but Tonks couldn't bear the thought of Sirius being alone. The moon had been full the night before, and she knew that meant that Remus hadn't been in the house for a few days.

When Tonks arrived she made her way into the kitchen hoping to see Sirius there. She didn't want to call out to him in case he was sleeping. She knew he hadn't been recently and didn't want to disrupt whatever sleep he did get. She decided she'd make some hot chocolate for herself and Sirius and they could sit and chat for awhile.

"Oh," Tonks said stumbling into the kitchen. She was surprised by the person she saw sitting at the table. It wasn't Sirius, but Remus sitting alone at the table with a cup of some pink looking ointment in front of him and a cloth held up to his face.

"Hello Tonks," he said calmly, keeping his hand still.

"Wotcher, Remus. Are you alright?" She asked moving forward and placing her things on the table.

"Yes, I'm quite alright," he said removing the cloth from his face and dipping it back into the cup of pink liquid. Remus' face was revealed to Tonks. She gasped instinctively, and covered her mouth with her hand. There were two deep gashes down the right side of his face, reaching from under his eyes almost all the way down to his chin, and they were still bleeding.

"You've been hurt!" Tonks gushed.

"It's not that bad, just a part of what I have to do," he said still calmly, placing the cloth back on his face.

"Well, what happened?" Tonks asked taking a seat next to him.

"I had a disagreement with one of the other werewolves. He didn't agree with my stance on matters, and he was very…aggressive about it."

"What did you disagree about?" Tonks asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"He thought it would be best to start by attacking children, start them off young away from their families," Tonks could see the pain in Remus' eyes as he said those words. "I disagreed. I would do anything for the Order and for Dumbledore, but I cannot pretend to support that." Instinctively Tonks reached her hand over to Remus', the one resting on the table, and placed it over his. She wondered if she should have done it, but she knew that it had to be killing Remus to face that. Remus didn't move his hand; he merely remained still holding the cloth on to the gashes on his face.

"Was it…was it Greyback?" Tonks asked tentatively.

"Oh Merlin, no," he answered. "I dare say if it would have been him, I'd be in much worse shape if I even made it at all." That thought made Tonks sick to her stomach.

Tonks didn't want to seem insensitive because she certainly was not, but she was worried about Remus' safety as well as the Order's. "So…so your position hasn't been compromised?"

"No, no," he responded. "I think I covered myself quite well. Once Greyback came to break it up, I told him I thought it would be better to go for the officials first, put a real scare into the public. They'll never get near enough to anyone in the ministry, they know every werewolf and they have too much protection, but children, they don't have anyone." All Tonks could do was sit there, with her hand on top of his, she wanted him to know she was there for him and he could talk to her. She tried not to cringe as he dipped the cloth in the pink liquid once more.

"What are you putting on it?"

"It's an ointment, special for werewolf scratches; it should stop the bleeding soon."

"Evening Remus, glad to see you back, and Tonks I didn't know you were here" Sirius said strolling into the kitchen. Simultaneously Remus and Tonks slid their hands away from each other.

"I came over to give you some company and I found Remus in the kitchen. As you can see he's been hurt a bit," Tonks said.

"A bit?" Sirius said looking at Remus' gashes. "Merlin, Tonks, I'd hate to see your definition of a lot." Tonks felt herself blush.

"No really, Sirius," Remus said. "I'm fine; the bleeding should stop very soon."

"Shall I make some tea?" Tonks asked suddenly feeling very warm. She made her way over to the counter and put a pot on the stove.

That night Sirius, Remus, and Tonks sat around the table and talked like they used to, the way Tonks enjoyed so much. It was getting late, and Tonks knew she had to be getting to work. Sirius bid her and Remus goodnight and headed upstairs to feed Buckbeack.

"Well," Remus said standing up. "I'm feeling rather exhausted, I'm going to turn in for the evening." Of course, how could Tonks have not realized Remus would be tired? She knew he was always very weak after he transformed. How could she have kept him up all this time?

"Yes, I'll be heading home too," Tonks said. "I've got work in the morning."

"Thank you for your concern today, Tonks," Remus said, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. "I appreciate it." He sounded genuinely grateful.

"No problem," Tonks said as calmly as she could. Remus smiled his crooked smile as he turned to head up the stairs.

As Tonks walked into the cold night air, she thought about the day. She always knew that what Remus did was dangerous, but it had never seemed real to her until that night. Remus was living with cruel beings who wanted to hurt children just for the sake of hurting them. He was in serious danger every time he was with them. Tonks didn't understand why it seemed so much more real now than it ever had before. Perhaps it was the fresh deep gashes down the side of his face, or maybe the pain in his eyes when he spoke about Werewolves wanting to harm children.

Another Order meeting had come and passed, and nothing much had changed. The members were still taking turns on guard duty, but luckily nothing had happened. All the ministry employees, including Tonks, were on the lookout for any sign that someone within the ministry might know anything about the Death Eaters. Any lead, any suspicious comment, and snippet of information, they were instructed to follow, but nothing had turned up. Remus hadn't been underground since he'd fought with another werewolf, the gashes healed slightly, but were still very apparent. He knew the werewolves didn't know anything about Voldemort's whereabouts yet, but was convinced it was only a matter of time before he reached out to them. Bill had been keeping an eye open in Gringotts, looking out for any suspicious withdraws from the vaults. Mad-Eye had been in contact with Dumbledore as much as possible, but their communication was becoming much slimmer. Sirius was becoming increasingly irritated because he couldn't get in touch with Harry, and the Weasley's were feeling the same about their children. It was too dangerous to send owls asking about how Hogwarts was because so many were being intercepted.

After the meeting was over, and Tonks had gotten some tea, she went into the sitting room to talk with Bill and Charlie Weasley.

"So, are you just here for the meeting?" Tonks asked, taking a seat on an armchair seated across from the couch where Bill and Charlie sat.

"I took off from work for a few days, and came for a visit. Afraid I can't do much to help the Order with my job, but I figured I'd come and hear what was going on," Charlie said.

"I'm here for good," Bill said matter-of-factly.

"What?" Tonks asked. "But I thought you were curse breaking in Egypt for Gringotts?"

"I was," he answered, "but I took a desk job here in London. With everything going on, and with dad's getting hurt, I wanted to be closer to the family, and to the Order."

"Are you staying at home?"

"No, no, I've got my own flat in Diagon Alley."

"Well, how is it going? I expect it's a lot different than what you're used to."

"Well, it is a desk job, so it couldn't be any more different. The hours are mad; there are not a lot of employees because no one wants to work with the goblins. They don't like wizards, don't trust us, and they're not polite about it. Aside from that though it's going well."

"Just well, Bill?" Charlie asked playfully. "I would say that things should be going much more than "well" for you what with your new girlfriend."

"What?" Tonks asked. "Bill, you've got a girlfriend now?"

"Yeah, he does," Charlie answered for him. "Beautiful too. Do you remember the TriWizard Cup last year?"

"Yeah," Tonks answered.

"She's one of the champions, the French one from Beauxbatons, Fleur Delacour."

"She just recently moved to London and took a desk job at Gringotts as well," Bill said.

"Yeah," Charlie continued, "she wanted to 'eemprove 'er Eenglish. Bill's been giving her a lot of private lessons," he playfully slapped his brother on his back.

"Well, that's great to here Bill, she sounds lovely, and she certainly is beautiful, I've seen pictures in the Prophet."

"Yeah, she is," Bill said hardly able to hide his boyish smile. "She's great; it's nice to have someone else to talk to since the goblins don't like us much."

"How'd you two meet, work in the same area? Gringotts is huge."

"Well, I saw her at the tournament last year, mum and I went to support Harry, obviously thought she was stunning, but I didn't see her for several months after that. I met her one evening at work; the goblins were really being hard on her because she can't speak English very well. She was a ruddy mess about it when I went to go check on her. We talked for a bit, she said she remembered me from the tournament, and how she thought I was very 'andsome, and then I offered to help her work on her English, and that's how it all started."

"Is it pretty serious between you two then?" Tonks asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Bill said slyly smiling. It gave Tonks such a warm feeling to see Bill so happy. She wasn't as close to Bill as she was with Charlie, but they were friends and she was ecstatic that despite everything going on he was still happy. "What about you Charlie?" Tonks asked, taking another long sip of her tea, "any young lady friend for you?"

"No, not right now. I've got too much going on with work."

"Sticking with the dragons for now," Tonks said.

"For now," Charlie answered. "What about you, Tonks?"

"Oh, no," Tonks answered quickly. "Not right now, I don't exactly have a huge selection at the ministry."

"Even with our glorious brother," Bill whispered, " the junior assistant to the minister working there?"

"Yes, even with wonderfully charming people like him working there." She took another sip of tea before talking to Bill again. "So, do you see marriage plans in your future?" She asked.

"Maybe," Bill answered trying to suppress the grin on his face.

"That's wonderful," Tonks gushed.

"Merlin," Charlie whispered, "don't let mum hear you talking about that, weddings and such, you'll never get out of here."

About an hour or so later, Charlie and Bill said their goodbyes. Charlie headed back to the Burrow with Arthur and Molly, and Bill headed back to his flat. Shortly after, Tonks decided it was time for her to leave as well. She needed to get up early for work the next day.

Settling down into bed that night, Tonks thoughts drifted to weddings. Bill's talking about Fleur got Tonks thinking about her own wedding, the one she hoped would come eventually. Tonks wasn't much for the frills and lace, but like every other girl, she dreamt of her wedding since she was small, really since the first time she saw her parents' wedding photos. Their wedding was small, Andromeda's family did not come, but it was still beautiful. Andromeda told Tonks it was the best day of her life, besides the day Tonks was born of course. Ever since then Tonks had thought about her wedding. She wanted all of her family and friends there. She wanted there to be dancing, and lots of food. She wanted it to be outside, and she wanted her hair to be favorite color pink. Up until then Tonks had never imagined the groom. It was always just her standing at the altar, dancing with guests, walking down the aisle with her dad. The groom was just a shadow in the distance. All of the sudden, the groom in her mind suddenly had a face; warm eyes and a crooked smile. She tried to push it out of her mind, she had other things to focus on, but that image ended up being the last one she saw that evening.

Tonks had just gone, and the house was empty except for Sirius and himself. Sirius headed upstairs to try and get some sleep. He hadn't been getting a lot lately because of worrying about Harry. Remus was drinking one last cup of tea before heading in for the night himself.

Remus thought back to that evening, he'd been listening to Bill talk about Fleur. It was so nice to see that love still existed in the world despite the horrid times. They reminded him of Lily and James; a shining example of real love in the face of danger and hatred and cruelty.

Remus had never thought about his own wedding, not even when he was boy. From about the time he was eleven, Remus fully understood what it meant to have his affliction. He would never be accepted by society. He would certainly never get married or have a family. He hadn't allowed himself to feel anything for anyone much less imagine getting married. For some reason, for the first time, he had the image of a wedding in his mind. There wasn't much to the picture; just him is his dress robes waiting at the altar. There was lovely woman with pink hair and heart shaped face making her way down the aisle. He obsessively tried to push this thought out of his mind. This wasn't allowed. He wasn't—he never—allowed himself to feel anything for anyone, and now he had an image of a wedding in his mind. It wasn't right.

As he headed into bed that evening he tried to pinpoint why he felt such a sick feeling in his stomach, almost liked he lost something. He didn't want think so, and tried not to, but he supposed it was because he shut down the image of that wedding, and forced it completely out of his mind. He couldn't figure out why it bothered him so much now, it never had before. He'd always known he was going to grow old alone. Of course as a younger man he thought he'd share in his best friends' happiness, but that prospect had been snatched away and was growing even slimmer by the day since Sirius was a wanted man. Why did it get to him so much now? He should be used to it after all these years. A final thought came to his mind as he drifted off to sleep, still seeing that heart shaped face in the back corner of his thoughts, maybe it hurt so much that time because he'd never felt that way about anyone else.

_Tonks emergency. Come as quickly as you can!_

Tonks heart beat faster and faster as she destroyed the interdepartmental memo. She knew it was from Arthur, but she had no clue why he sent it. Something awful must have happened. A thought flashed through her mind. It had just been the full moon, hadn't it? What if something happened to Remus? What if he got attacked, what if he was killed? What about Sirius? What if somehow someone had found him and he was dead. Tonks could feel her heart pounding, and if it weren't impossible, she would be sure it would beat right out of her chest. She couldn't sit around work for three more hours without knowing what was wrong. But she couldn't leave. She couldn't look for Arthur, and she couldn't talk to Kingsley about it, too many people were around. Scrimgeour would never let her leave, not without an explanation, and she couldn't give the real one. She tried to calm herself down as she moved on with her paperwork. Her hand was shaking and she couldn't concentrate. Surely no one was dead. If someone had died they would have made her come immediately. Wouldn't they? It couldn't be Sirius, it just couldn't be. If it were Fudge would be parading around the office taking the credit for everything. At least that thought brought her some peace about Sirius, but it was Remus she was still worried about. He lived with the werewolves, what if something went wrong and they found out what he was doing, or what if he had a disagreement with another werewolf and the same thing as last time happened? No, no it couldn't be. Someone would have told her, Arthur or Kingsley or someone. Not if Mad-Eye was in charge. He wouldn't want anyone to say anything.

After sitting for three more hours forcing herself through paper after paper, Tonks finally was able to leave. She felt sick, she couldn't stand not knowing anymore. She got out of the Ministry as quickly as she could without attracting attention to herself and rushed off to an alley where it would be safe to apparate.

Tonks flung the door open of Grimmauld Place and rushed down the hall. She wasn't paying attention and rammed right into the troll leg umbrella stand. She didn't fall this time, but the crash sent Sirius' mother into hysterics once again.

"Dammit!" She yelled to herself, not bothering to pick the stand. She could have fallen over from joy when she saw the two people rush in to close the curtains over the portrait. Remus and Sirius ran into the room and thrust the curtains over the shrieking picture.

"For Merlin's sake, Tonks!" Mad-Eye said. "Stop being so clumsy."

"I'm sorry, Mad-Eye," Tonks said rather hotly. "I wasn't paying attention, I was worried."

"We all are, Mad-Eye," Molly said. "What is going on?" Tonks realized that most of the rest of the Order was already seated in the kitchen, anxiously awaiting the news.

"Dumbledore's gone," he said. A burst of "whats" and gasps filled the room.

"What do you mean Dumbledore is gone?" Remus asked.

"He's gone, he's left Hogwarts."

"Has that old toad gotten him kicked out," Sirius asked.

"No, no," Mad-Eye said. "It seems the kids didn't like the idea that they weren't being taught how to defend themselves in their classes, so they decided to form a secret group called Dumbledore's Army. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were at the forefront," he added. Molly sighed and covered her face with her hands.

"Anyway, someone told Umbridge and she discovered them. Dumbledore took the blame for starting the group, and when they tried to take him away he managed to stop them all and escape."

"Leave it to Dumbledore to pull something like that," Arthur said almost in awe.

"Dumbledore contacted me immediately. He's not going to be in touch for a while. He has other things he's attending to, now that he's not at Hogwarts anymore. He's going to stay in touch to the best of his ability. Kingsley was with him when it all happened. He's still with the minister now, but he should be here soon with new information."

Right then Tonks heard the front door open. Kingsley bustled into the room.

"Sorry everyone," he said walking over to stand next to Mad-Eye. "I just left the office; Fudge is in a right state."

"What happened Kingsley," Arthur asked.

"Well, Umbridge discovered that the kids were meeting, so she called Fudge up to Hogwarts. She was ready to expel them all right then and there." Molly gasped.

"Are the kids alright?" Hestia asked.

"Yes, they're fine," Kingsley reassured her. "One of the members had a change of heart and told Umbridge about the group. Her mum works for the ministry, and she was frightened. They tried to get her to tell them everything, but I modified her memory, so she didn't know anything. Dumbledore took the blame for everything, said he instructed Harry to round up recruits for the DA, and managed to get the kids off."

"Then what happened?" Sirius asked.

"Well, Dumbledore told Fudge and Umbridge what they wanted to hear. He said he'd been raising an army against them in attempts to get Fudge's position. Fudge was so thrilled I'd venture to say he forgot all about the kids."

"Then what?" Remus asked rather impatiently.

"Well, Fudge was ready to take Dumbledore in to Azkaban, but he got past all of them, even hit me. Wouldn't look right if I were the only one he didn't get. That's all I got really. He was gone and Minerva couldn't tell me anything with Fudge standing there."

"Where has he gone?" Remus asked.

"We don't know," Mad-Eye said. "We just have to keep going as usual without him, until he contacts us again."

"I can't imagine where he would have gone without having anyone seeing him," Emmaline said.

"He's not going into hiding," Mad-Eye said. "He has other things to do that have to do with the resistance. He's not worried about it, and we shouldn't be either. Dumbledore doesn't need any looking after."

Tonks sat down with Remus and Sirius for tea before heading out for the night. Sirius was very chatty.

"Can you believe it? He asked excitedly, trying to be as quiet as possible, so he wouldn't get anyone else's attention. "Just like James, he is; more and more like him every day."

"So I take it your proud of the DA, as they called it?" Tonks asked.

"I couldn't be more proud. That's exactly the type of thing that we," he pointed to Remus and himself, "would have done." Tonks was glad to see Sirius so happy. She supposed it was nice for him to see so much of his best friend in his godson. Even though Sirius was radiating pride, Remus seemed very quiet.

"Remus," Tonks asked. "Is everything ok?"

"Oh yes, yes, I'm fine," Remus said quickly. Tonks could tell he was hiding something, but she didn't want to press it, he clearly didn't want to say.

A few minutes later, when they had finished their tea, Remus told Sirius he was heading back to his flat to get a few things. Sirius, dazed in pride, wasn't paying that much attention, and headed upstairs to feed Buckbeak. Tonks said her goodnights and decided to head back home. Work was only going to get worse now that Dumbledore was missing.

Tonks caught up with Remus at the coat rack next to the door.

"Remus," Tonks said, still hesitantly. "Are you sure everything's alright? You just don't seem yourself."

"Yes, everything is fine Tonks, I'm just worried is all."

"What are you worried about," Tonks asked.

He sighed deeply, "I'm worried about Dumbledore being gone. It just doesn't seem good to me. He's the driving force behind all of this. With his being gone it puts him and a lot of other people in more danger. The ministry is going to be looking a lot more closely at anyone who is connected with him."

"It'll be ok, Remus," Tonks said. "Dumbledore's brilliant. He knows what he's doing. He's probably had this planned out for months. "Although, I suppose life at Hogwarts is going to get tougher, since Umbridge is going to be the new headmistress."

"Harry needs to be careful. I know Sirius is proud that he's so much like James, but he needs to tread carefully. He can't keep putting himself in the spotlight, none of them can. Umbridge already has this; she's going to use anything she can so get them out."

"Remus, it's going to be alright," Tonks said, although she completely agreed with him. "Harry's smart. He's going to watch himself." Tonks could see the distress in Remus' face. She completely understood, Harry was his best friend's son. He didn't want anything to happen to him.

In an instinctive act Tonks put her arms around Remus, hugging him to her. He seemed to be a little taken aback. It took him a few moments to put his arms around her too.

"It's going to be ok, Remus," she said looking straight at the front door since Remus' face was no longer in view. "I know you're worried, we all are, but Dumbledore's brilliant and he's not going to let anything happen to anyone else in the Order at his expense. And I know you're worried about Harry, but he's strong, you know that. He' strong and he's smart. He's not going to put himself or anyone else in danger."

Tonks knew that the conversation was finished, but she didn't quite want to let go. Remus didn't pull away either. Tonks wasn't sure what she should do. Neither one of them was saying anything; they just stood there embracing each other. Something about this just felt right, Tonks would have been perfectly content to stand there for the rest of the evening. However, Tonks knew she couldn't stay there; Sirius would be coming back down any moment. Almost as if Remus had read her mind, he pulled away quickly.

"Well, er, goodnight Tonks," he said quite embarrassedly as he headed out the door.

Tonks was met with sobs as she walked into the kitchen at 12 Grimmauld Place. Molly was seated at the table, a few letters sprawled out in front of her; her face was buried in her hands. Tonks was very anxious, what had happened? No one at the Order had told her it was an emergency to be there, just an ordinary meeting as usual. Did someone in the Weasley family die? Arthur was over the stove making tea, while Bill and Charlie were whispering to each other in the corner of the room.

"Bill, Charlie, what's wrong?" Tonks asked as she walked over to them. She didn't want to upset Molly even more by asking her.

"Fred and George left school," Charlie answered.

"What?" Tonks practically shouted.

"Yeah," Bill said. "They got sick of Umbridge, so they left. Apparently made quite the show of it too."

"Good for them," Tonks said. She was genuinely proud of them for standing up to Umbridge.

"I'm glad you feel that way," Charlie said, "mum certainly doesn't. She's been crying for nearly an hour. First it's Percy's being a prat, and then all of this. She's distraught that they won't be able to finish their education, doesn't think they'll get anywhere."

"Well, they're smart boys," Tonks said. "I'm sure they'll be fine. What about all that joke stuff they've been doing?"

"Don't let mum hear you say that," Charlie said. "We tried that already."

"Well, has she tried to talk to them?" Tonks asked. "Why didn't they come tonight?"

"That's just it," Charlie said. "We don't know where they are. McGonagall sent the official letter saying that they left school, and they sent another letter to mum and dad explaining what happened and saying that they were alright."

"They didn't say where they were going?"

"No," Charlie answered. "I guess they didn't want mum to find out where they were and force them to go back to school."

"No chance of that," Bill said. "They wouldn't let them back into Hogwarts now if they begged."

"True." Charlie agreed. "I just wish they would have told dad or you or me where they were. Dad's starting to worry too." A few moments passed in silence before Bill spoke.

"They're with me in my flat," Bill whispered even lower than they had been before.

"What?" Tonks and Charlie asked simultaneously.

"They showed up yesterday and told me what happened. They said they had a line on something for the business, but they needed some time. They didn't want to go home because they knew mum would be all over them and would try and force them back into school. When the meeting's over I'm going to tell Dad. If he knows for sure that they're safe, he might be able to calm down mum a little more. "

"Mum's going to get it out of dad," Charlie said.

"Yeah, I know," Bill replied, "But I can't have them both worrying like this, not after all this mess with Percy. I bet he's loving this fiasco."

A few minutes later the meeting started and it was business as usual. The prophecy still remained safe and untouched. Guard duty was still in full swing, and nothing suspicious had occurred so far. Although, it was good to know that nothing had happened, it was also slightly unnerving. The Order didn't know what was going on, what Voldemort or the Death Eaters were doing. They didn't know why it was taking so long for them to act, to go and look for the prophecy, whether it be by using one of the Death Eaters to sneak in and take the fall, or putting the imperius curse on someone else. Remus had gone underground once again and lived among the werewolves. They had still not been in contact with Voldemort, and according to Remus, they were becoming anxious and hungry for blood. Their hatred of wizards was too strong to try and convince them to fight Voldemort, and Remus couldn't try and persuade them because it might ruin his position among them. Tonks found herself very nervous when she knew that Remus was with the werewolves. She felt her heart beat increase as she scanned the Daily Prophet, expecting to see his name in the obituary section, and she jumped whenever an owl or interdepartmental memo came around her.

After the meeting had ended, most of the Order decided to leave. Mad-Eye, Kingsley, and Tonks stuck around with the Weasleys, Remus, and Sirius. Molly hadn't made dinner because of her being so distraught over Fred and George, so Remus put some tea on the stove for everyone.

"I just don't understand," Molly sobbed into her hands as Arthur rubbed her back with his hand, soothingly, "why they can't tell us where they are. They could be anywhere! They could be hurt! Where in Merlin's name could they have gone?"

"I'm sure they're alright, Molly. They told us in the letter that they were fine," Arthur said trying desperately to calm his wife.

"Oh yes, and they have always been completely truthful with us," Molly said angrily. Tonks saw Charlie and Bill glance at each other quickly.

"Mum, dad," Bill said walking towards them, "Fred and George are fine."

"How do you know that?" Molly spat back at him.

"Because," he paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to prepare himself for the consequences of sharing this information. "They're staying with me in my flat." The looks on Molly's and Arthur's faces couldn't be fully described. Arthur's was filled with shock and surprise, while Molly's had more of an anger about it.

"They're with you?" Arthur asked, clearly confused.

"Yeah, they're with me. They came to my flat yesterday."

"And why didn't you tell us?"

"They told me not to. They told me they were going to talk to you. I figured they're old enough to take care of themselves."

"How could you?" Molly yelled, fury dripping from her voice. "How could you sit there, watch us worry, and not tell us? And you," Molly pointed her finger at Charlie. "I'm sure you know about this! How could you not tell me?"

"Don't bring me into this," Charlie said, taking a seat at the table with his parents. Bill followed suit.

"Mum, dad," Bill began, "Fred and George are old enough to take care of themselves. A few more months and they would have been out of Hogwarts and on their own anyway," this sent Molly into a fresh wave of sobs. Fred and George had left only a few months before school would be completely finished for them. "They didn't tell you where they were because they didn't want you coming for them. They're finished, mum. They're finished with school and with being told what to do with their lives."

"They still should have told us, Bill," Mr. Weasley said calmly. "We've been out of our minds with worry."

"What do they plan to do on their own?" Mrs. Weasley piped up angrily. "They'll never be able to get a job without a full education." Tonks saw this as a family matter and decided to excuse herself quietly from the kitchen.

Mad-Eye and Kingsley were both standing near the entrance to the sitting room, discussing something to do with Dumbledore. Tonks made her way to the couch and chair where Sirius and Remus were sitting.

"I know Molly's worried about them," Tonks said after listening to Sirius and Remus chat about Fred and George's actions for a few minutes, "but I'd be proud of them if they were my sons. They have guts that no one else seems to have. What do you think Sirius?"

"I wouldn't expect any less if I had sons. I would be ecstatic."

"I doubt you would be very ecstatic if Harry decided to leave," Remus said coolly.

"That's different, Harry has to stay there. He needs to keep learning Occlumency with Snivellus. I can't say that I would be angry if he did though."

"I don't know," Tonks said. "I mean they're smart boys and seem to have things figured out. I think they did what was right. I know they both got kicked off the Quidditch team, and we all know Umbridge is making Hogwarts unbearable, I think it's great what they did."

"Molly's just worried about them," Remus said. "They're never going to get a job in the ministry without a full education."

"Well don't some wizarding families choose to teach their children at home? Couldn't they just finish their education that way?"

"This is different," Remus said. They didn't start off being educated at home. The entire ministry is going to know about this."

"I doubt anyone's going to find out about this anytime soon," Sirius said.

"Why do you say that?" Asked Tonks.

"Two school-age wizards, escaping right under Umbridge's nose, and practically destroying the place without her stopping them, how would that look to everyone at the ministry?"

"True."

After they finished their tea, and Kingsley had gone home, Tonks, Remus, Sirius, and Mad-Eye rejoined the Weasleys in the kitchen. Things had seemed to calm down a bit. Molly was still visibly upset, but the anger had disappeared mostly from her face. Tonks sat across from her.

"It's going to be ok, Molly," she said. "Mind if I take a look at the letters?" Molly nodded in return. The first letter was written in formal writing on thick yellowed parchment.

_Mr. and Mrs. Weasley,_

_ I have the duty to inform you that earlier today at 2:15pm your sons, Fred Weasley and George Weasley withdrew from their Hogwarts education on their own accords. They left the grounds willingly while causing a considerable amount of damage. Please be aware they have been formally withdrawn from the school and will not be allowed to return to complete their seventh year of education. Although they did inflict damage during their departure_, _Hogwarts will not be holding them responsible. _

_ Sincerely,_

_ M. McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress_

The next letter was written in very untidy scrawl on a scrunched piece of white parchment.

_Mum, dad,_

_ No doubt you've gotten the letter from Hogwarts that we "withdrew" today. We just couldn't take it anymore, Hogwarts isn't Hogwarts anymore. Don't worry; we did the Weasley name proud when we left. We're not standing for it anymore. We know that we're not going for jobs in the ministry, so it's not going to affect anything for us. We've got plans made, and our own place lined up. We will update you soon. We're both fine and safe. Please don't worry, and don't try and come looking for us. All our love,_

_ Fred and George_

Tonks put down the letters and reached across the table to hold Molly's hands in hers. "Molly," she said soothingly, "They're going to be alright, they're smart boys. You should be proud of them." Molly looked at Tonks like she belonged in a ward at St. Mungo's. "Listen Molly, you've got wonderful children. Each of them is talented in his own way. Look at Bill, he's brilliant with all those OWLs, and Charlie one the best Quidditch seekers Hogwarts has ever had, and Ron has probably faced more dark magic than most aurors I know including myself, and look at Ginny she keeps up with all her brothers and is a great Quidditch player too, and don't forget she survived possession from Voldemort. Fred and George may not be heading for the ministry, but they've got it figured out."

"Molly, Arthur," Sirius chimed in, "Fred and George have a mind for business, I've seen them. They're going to be just fine. You should be proud of them. They stood up for what is right, they put Umbridge in her place. They are two fine boys you have."

"Look at what Umbridge has done to creatures like centaurs," Tonks said, "or people like Remus," she glanced over at him sympathetically. "She treats them as inferior. She doesn't deserve to sit in Dumbledore's chair as headmistress. You're sons were the only ones who stood up for what is right. That is so brave. I would be glad to have sons like that."

"Sirius and Tonks are right," Remus said. "I understand why you both are worried, it's only natural, but the boys do have bright futures ahead of them. By leaving they stood up for everyone, they showed Umbridge that she cannot keep oppressing people. I'm proud to know them."

"Fred and George have got guts no one else has," Mad-Eye said. "Don't worry about them. They're fine, smart boys you've got."

"Yeah, mum," Bill said, "and they'll be staying with me until they get their feet on the ground. I'll watch over them."

After speaking with everyone, Molly seemed to cheer up a bit, Arthur seemed fully cured of his worry. They both had come to realize how brave their sons had been for standing up to Umbridge and leaving, and how proud they should be.

Tonks didn't quite know what to make of the events that had happened over the past few months. First Remus was seriously hurt, than Dumbledore left Hogwarts, and then Fred and George left. Nothing seemed right anymore, everything was falling apart.


	19. First Memories and Final Goodbyes

Hey everyone! I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I've had a ton of stuff going on with school and work. I'm quite the busy bee. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter. I know it was very choppy, but I wanted to include all of those things and didn't want to make them separate chapters. I hope that you all enjoy this chapter. Please review when you are finished reading; I would appreciate it so much. Many thanks! :]

This chapter contains verbatim quotes from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix." These quotes have been bolded. Also, even though I included quotes, this chapter is a little off canon for the ministry of magic scene, just a tad. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 19

First Memories and Final Goodbyes

It had been almost a month since the last Order meeting, and Tonks was very glad to be back in the presence of the members. Work had gotten slightly better, but Tonks still despised it.

As the Order was gathered around the old wooden table in the kitchen, Mad-Eye began the meeting as usual. Everything was very much the same, and the members were becoming restless. No one understood why it was taking so long for Voldemort to make his move. Did he know they were waiting? He had to know something because something of his had to be behind the attack on Arthur.

At the end of the meeting, Mad-Eye had some new information with the Order.

"We're going to have to cut back on guard duty," he stated.

"Why would we do that?" Hestia asked from the opposite end of the table.

"Some ministry members are getting suspicious," Mad-Eye continued. "Kingsley's been hearing some things around the ministry, people have been noticing. Not enough to figure out what we're up to," he answered their silent questions, "But we have to be more cautious."

"Why in Merlin's name would be back off now?" Sirius asked rather angrily. "We've been waiting all this bloody time, and now we're going to slack off."

"We're not slacking off, Sirius," Kingsley said calmly, but Sirius interrupted him before he could finish.

"Well that's what it sounds like to me," he stated. "We've been waiting for months and now when the Death Eaters have escaped, and no one knows where Dumbledore is we're just going to stop. We need to keep that prophecy safe. Harry's wasting away in school with Snivellus and that horrible toad, Umbridge, the least we can do is keep his prophecy safe."

"Sirius, calm down," Remus said.

"Sirius," Kingsley stated a little louder. "We're all anxious about this and we don't want to do it, but we have to. People have started to notice, and if we get discovered we won't be able to guard it at all."

"How have people been noticing?" Sirius asked, trying to keep his voice calm. "We're all supposed to be wearing invisibility cloaks while we're doing this right? Who's slipping up?"

"Sirius, no one is slipping up," Arthur said, trying to keep the situation calm. "People notice things, even with all the precautions. We know there are people in the ministry who are working both sides. They are watching for things like this."

"Enough," Mad-Eye said. "We're not stopping all together. We're still going to be patrolling, but only after ministry hours are completely over. We've been having people stick around the whole day, but we're going to wait for everyone to be gone, even most of the security wizards. Unfortunately, this is going to be a time where we have to trust the ministry to keep things safe."

"Sirius," Molly said, "I know how worried you are about Harry, believe me we all are. We're not going to let anyone get anywhere near the prophecy. We just have to be cautious because if anything is discovered it puts everyone in danger, you know if anything happens, Harry's going to try his best to get back here, especially if something happens to you." Molly's care seemed to alter Sirius' mood slightly.

That evening Tonks and Remus were sipping tea in the sitting room, Sirius had gone upstairs. Most of the Order, aside from Mad-Eye, Molly, and Arthur had gone home. As Tonks and Remus were discussing something about Gringotts, Sirius came striding down the stairs quite excitedly.

"What have you got there, Sirius?" Tonks asked, pointing to the half hidden object Sirius was holding.

"It's a camera," Sirius said. "I found it the other day when I was cleaning." Remus and Tonks did not quite understand why this excited Sirius so much, anything he found in the house was assumed to be untouchable. "I checked it for curses, and there's nothing wrong with it, quite shocking. There's still film in it too, would have thought Kreacher would have been sleeping with it if it had a picture of my mum on it."

"That's all great Sirius," Tonks said, "But I don't understand what's so exciting about the camera besides that you found it in the houses and it isn't deadly."

"Well, I figured, "Sirius began lifting the camera to his face, "when Harry comes to live here eventually the place should be a little brighter. I can get rid of whatever pictures aren't permanently stuck on these walls, and put up some of my own."

"That's very optimistic of you, Sirius," Tonks said cheerfully. She hadn't heard him speak that way in months.

"Well, "he began. "I realized that either the all of this is going to end, and we'll be together as a proper family like I promised, or we'll all be dead and it won't matter. Since nothing matters for the latter, I might as well prepare for the former, now get together," he motioned for Remus and Tonks to move closer, so he could get their picture together. They did as instructed and moved closer together. Upon Sirius' telling that he couldn't fit them both in the frame, Remus put his arm around Tonks to move her closer.

"Now that's lovely," Sirius said here, a smile on his face. "Now…Molly!" He called to Molly as she was walking out of the kitchen. "Molly, would you take a picture of us please?"

"Oh certainly, Sirius," Molly said walking over, taking the camera from Sirius.

"Now, now," Sirius said sauntering over the couch, "there's no need to argue, you can both sit next to me," he smiled and plopped himself in between Tonks and Remus.

The three friends laughed and Molly snapped their picture. Tonks stood up so that Remus and Sirius could have one taken together, two old school friends. Immediately after, Sirius called Tonks to sit back down for another photo, this time she took the empty seat next to Remus. Unwillingly, Mad-Eye had his picture taken, once alone and once with Tonks. Then Sirius took a few of Molly and Arthur.

Tonks couldn't remember laughing so hard and having so much fun in a long time. Sirius was so genuinely happy to be preparing for his new life with Harry, Tonks only hoped that everything worked out; she refused herself to think otherwise.

Tonks left that evening completely cheerful. She was so happy that Sirius found that camera. It was so nice to make new memories, to be able to document the times she had with Remus and Sirius and the Order. She couldn't wait for more memories to come, hopefully in happier times.

Tonks had taken off for the day, for the first time in weeks. She was so delighted to finally be able to spend a day away from the ministry. Although she knew she had housework to catch up on, and she had half the mind to lay in bed all day, Tonks decided to go to Grimmauld Place to visit Remus and Sirius. She hadn't seen them in a while, and thought perhaps they would like the company, she knew she would.

Upon arriving at headquarters early that evening, Tonks found Sirius, Remus, and Mad-Eye talking in the kitchen.

"Evening everyone," Tonks said.

"Good evening, Tonks," Remus was the first to respond.

"Didn't expect you to be here," Sirius followed.

"I finally got a day off," Tonks answered taking a seat at the table.

"Fancy seeing you here, Mad-Eye." Mad-Eye was always going on about not coming to headquarters when there wasn't a meeting because of drawing suspicion. Perhaps he was lonely at home, after all that's why Tonks had come. She felt bad for being sarcastic immediately after.

"We're discussing business, Tonks," Mad-Eye said.

"Oh?" Tonks questioned. "Without the rest of the Order?"

"It's nothing they don't know," Sirius said. "Just trying to figure out what Voldemort's next move is going to be."

Tonks joined in the conversation for a bit before the group dispersed. Sirius went upstairs to feed Buckbeak, Remus was putting the tea pots away in the kitchen, and Mad-Eye and Tonks were heading toward the sitting room.

At that moment, Kingsley came through the front door of Grimmauld Place.

"Wotcher Kingsley," Tonks said as Kingsley made his way into the sitting room.

"Evening, Tonks."

"What brings you here, Kingsley," Mad-Eye asked.

"I just thought I'd stay here for a little while before I head back to the ministry for guard duty."

"Oh, well can I get you something to eat then," Tonks asked. "Something to drink? Tea?"  
"No, thanks, Tonks," Kingsley said. "I'm fine for now."

"So, how are things at the Ministry? Still looking for Sirius?" Mad-Eye asked.

"They're not worried about it as much as they are leading everyone to believe, but they are still searching. I think Fudge is more preoccupied with finding Dumbledore."

"He shouldn't waste his time," Mad-Eye said, "They'll never find him." Right then, Sirius came down the stairs, rather slowly, almost like his mind was somewhere else.

"Sirius," Tonks asked, concerned, "what's wrong?"

"I've just gotten a message from Snivellus," he said still sounding off.

"Is something wrong?" Remus asked joining the group.

"He said that he wanted to contact me. It seems that Harry thought that I was in some sort of trouble, and he just wanted to ensure I was here."

"That's odd," Tonks said. "How would he know what Harry was thinking? They don't talk to each other."

"Well, Snape is very skilled at legilimency," Remus remarked. "He probably saw what Harry was thinking."

"Yes, and if he can, then so can Voldemort," Mad-Eye said, "which means Potter isn't doing very well."

"Mad-Eye stop it," Tonks said, seeing the pain in Sirius' eyes.

"No Tonks, he's right," Remus said. "If Snape can see that Harry thinks Sirius is in danger, then Harry must be seeing it. It's possible that Voldemort is making him see these images."

Almost as if responding to Remus, a silver figure in the form of a doe formed in front of the group. They all stood in silence, worried expressions on their faces.

Snape's voice emerged from the silvery figure, "I believe the Potter and the others have gone to the Ministry. They went into the forest and never returned to the castle. Sirius, stay back at headquarters in case he decides to contact." No one moved as the doe disappeared.

"We need to go, now!" Mad-Eye shouted as they rushed for the door.

Kingsley, Remus, Tonks, and Sirius followed at Mad-Eye's heels.

"Sirius," Mad-Eye barked as they group rushed down the street to an alley where they could apparate, "you heard Snape. You're to stay here in case Potter decides to make contact."

"If you think that I'm going to stay behind here while my godson is in danger, you must really be mad," Sirius shot back angrily. "I'm not sitting around here."

Tonks could see that Mad-Eye was about to shoot something back. "Stop," she said. "Mad-Eye, Sirius isn't going to wait behind if Harry could be in trouble. But Sirius," she said cautiously, "what will happen if Harry tries to contact headquarters?"

"If I know Harry, I know he's not going to worry about that if he's already left for the ministry, but if he does, Kreacher will be there, and he can tell him."

When the group reached the alley, Remus conjured a patronus, "Severus, we received your message, Mad-Eye, Sirius, Kingsley, Tonks, and I are headed to the ministry now."

"Apparate right outside of the visitor's entrance to the ministry," Mad-Eye commanded. "We won't be able to enter through the employee's. Immediately, Mad-Eye disappeared followed by Remus, then Tonks.

The group reconvened outside of the red telephone box. They quickly jammed themselves inside, first Kingsley next to the receiver, then Mad-Eye and Sirius, then Remus and Tonks. Kingsley quickly dialed 62442. They heard the female voice asking to state their names and business at the ministry. "Kingsley Shaklebolt, Auror Department," he looked at Tonks who also had to state her name to the receiver. Tonks had to squeeze between Sirius and Mad-Eye to reach the phone, Remus placed his hand on her shoulders to push her through. "Nymphadora Tonks," she cringed saying her name, "Auror Department," she handed the phone back to Kingsley; Remus pulled her back through Sirius and Mad-Eye.

"We're here with three visitors for a meeting." The voice instructed the visitors to attach the badges to the front of their robes and present their wands for registration at the security desk.

"Merlin," Tonks yelled impatiently, "come on! We know!" The telephone box began shaking as it began moving down.

"Moony," Sirius said, as the telephone box continued to sink. "There's something I need you to promise me."

"Yes, Padfoot," Remus answered coolly.

"If anything happens to me tonight, you'll look out for Harry."

"Oh Sirius," Tonks interrupted, "don't say that, you'll be fine!"

"Tonks, please," Sirius begged, "this is important. Promise me, Remus," that was the first time Tonks had ever heard Sirius called Remus by his actual name rather than Moony. "You'll look out for him, make sure he keeps going, and stays out of trouble?"

"Of course, Sirius," Remus answered rather solemnly. "I promise." Tonks didn't want to listen to this. She couldn't bear to think of anything happening to Sirius. She put the thought out of her mind when they reached the floor. The group rushed off through the hall to a lift and piled inside.

The lift left them off at the Department of Mysteries, and the group rushed out.

"Straight ahead," Mad-Eye barked as the group ran for the door down the hall.

"We know, Mad-Eye," Tonks answered, "we've all been here." She immediately wished she wouldn't have said that. Sirius had never been there before, he'd never been allowed to go on guard duty.

Once entering the Department, the group found themselves facing several doors.

Their worst fears had been confirmed true. "They're here," Remus said staring at the doors branded with red Xs.

"That'll help," Mad-Eye said. "We know they're not in any marked ones."

"Which one then?" Tonks asked.

"Best just take a guess and hope we're right," Sirius said. The group rushed forward to the double doors in front of them.

"If anything happens to anyone," Mad-Eye began, though hardly necessary, "keep going. We have to get Harry and the rest of them out."

Kingsley, Sirius, Remus, and Tonks didn't need to give a response; they all knew what they had to do.

Sirius burst open the door. Beneath them were stone tiers leading to a sunken floor. In the middle of floor stood Harry, clutching the prophecy, and Lucius Malfoy, hand outstretched ready to take it. Tonks immediately sent a stunning curse straight towards Malfoy, hitting full on in the chest.

The rest of the Death Eaters began scrambling around, startled by the Order members' appearance. Tonks began rapidly firing every spell she could think of; being cautious that she didn't hit one of the kids.

Tonks's stomach lurched as she looked down to the floor. Mad-Eye was lying there bleeding from the head, his magical eye gone, rolling on the floor. Tonks had to fight every urge within herself to keep from running to him. This was her mentor, he taught her how to be an auror, she had to help him, he could be really hurt, he could be…dead. "No," Tonks mentally shouted to herself. "No, he's not dead. Mad-Eye would never go down that quickly. He'd kill you if he found out you wasted time going to save him." She continued firing spells at every Death Eater she saw, desperately hoping she was right about Mad-Eye.

Tonks was shooting spells, watching beneath her. She saw Harry and Sirius standing together, in the midst of the fray. Despite everything that was happening, Tonks was relieved that Harry had seen Sirius and knew he was alright; perhaps it would persuade Harry to leave.

Tonks had no time to see what was coming. She kept firing, only turning her head away from Harry and Sirius for a moment. When she turned, she saw the jet of green light shooting at her, and she didn't have time to react. She got hit straight in the chest with it. She felt herself hit the hard stone tier, and then everything went black.

Remus was trying to look around in between shooting spells, attempting to find where all the others were. He knew Harry and Neville hadn't come alone. At least Ron and Hermione would be with them. He wanted to go over to Sirius and Harry. Bellatrix was firing at them, and he knew she wasn't giving up. He faced in Harry and Sirius' direction again, just in time to watch Sirius force Harry out of the way of a pair of stunning spells. One spell barely missed Sirius, and Remus watched its path all the way up the stone steps, where it met its target. The spell hit Tonks square in the chest, she'd been firing the other way, and she didn't have time to react. As soon as it hit her, Tonks fell to the ground, and Remus watched her topple from stone tier to stone tier, unconscious.

Remus resisted the urge to rush over to her, dodging a stunning spell coming from the other direction. He vaguely heard Sirius telling Harry to take Neville and the prophecy and to run. He saw Sirius out of the corner of his eye run towards Bellatrix. He kept looking toward Tonks, though. He wanted to go to her, to make sure she was ok, but he knew he couldn't. Tonks was an auror, and she would kill him for abandoning the others. He was battling with himself as he kept looking to Tonks's body, lying on the floor, in between casting spells. "No, you can't go. She'll kill you," he thought to himself. "The spell didn't look like it killed her. It looked like a stunning spell. If the spell didn't kill her, the fall might have. She toppled over tiers of stone. No. Stop thinking about it. You'll be able to help her when it's all over. You have to help Harry now."

In the middle of the chaos, Remus heard someone shout **"Dumbledore!"** He looked up to the top of the room, and found Dumbledore, the man who had saved his own life, in a way, rushing down the steps saving everyone's again. The Death Eaters didn't realize he'd come, until it was too late for them. They were no match for him. One tried to run, but Dumbledore's spell caught him within seconds, and he was pulled back down the steps.

Everything stopped when Dumbledore arrived, except for one duel. Sirius and Bellatrix didn't seem to have taken notice that anything had happened. They casted spells at each other with unmatched determination and fury. Remus knew it was more than a duel to Sirius. This woman was a part of his family of purebloods who thought themselves better than everyone else, she'd been responsible for the Deaths of many, tortured two Order members, she'd just hurt Tonks, and the worst, she'd tried to hurt Harry.

Remus saw Sirius laughing at Bellatrix. "**Come on, you can do better than that!"** Sirius shouted. All of the sudden, without even enough time to realize, Bellatrix's spell hit Sirius dead on, straight in the chest. The laughter died, and the light left his eyes. The laughter hadn't completely gone from his face, but his eyes displayed the shock they had just witnessed.

The time seemed to go in slow motion as Sirius fell through the ragged veil behind him. Remus couldn't move, couldn't think, he was numb. He just watched his best friend die. Sirius was gone, only this time he wasn't coming back. It was like losing James and Lily all over again.

Remus was brought back to his senses, when he saw Harry rushing down the stairs toward the dais, yelling for Sirius. Remus remembered Sirius' last request of him. He reached out and grabbed Harry around the chest. **"There's nothing you can do, Harry-" Remus said.**

** "Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!" Harry yelled.**

** "It's too late, Harry-"**

** "We can still reach him-"**

Harry tried his best to get away, trashing against Remus, but Remus would not let go**. "There's nothing you can do, Harry…nothing…He's gone."**

** "He hasn't gone!" Harry yelled. **He continued to struggle against Remus' hold. **"SIRIUS! Harry bellowed. "SIRIUS!"**

"**He can't come back, Harry," **Remus' voice was breaking, **"He can't come back because he's d—" **

** "HE-IS-NOT-DEAD!" Roared Harry. "SIRIUS!"**

Bellatrix was fighting Kingsley, he'd taken over when Sirius fell. Spells were flying all around them, but Remus wasn't paying any attention. Remus heard Kingsley fall to ground, screaming in pain. All of the sudden Remus felt Harry break free from his grip, **"Harry—no!"** Remus yelled, but it was too late. Harry was already running up the stairs after Bellatrix as she dashed out of the room.

Dumbledore followed him, running up the stone steps. Kingsley had managed to get himself up, and was heading out the door with Neville, looking for the others. The Death Eaters were all trapped, thanks to Dumbledore. Remus knew he should help, but he had to get to Tonks, he really didn't care about anything else at the moment. She'd been lying there for so long. Everything had been happening so fast, no one had gone to her yet.

Remus ran over to Tonks, her unconscious body was lying at the foot of the last stone tier. Remus fell to his knees by her side, picking up her head carefully from the floor, her hair, a knotted mess of mousy brown draped over his knees. She was still alive, but Remus didn't know by how much. She was bleeding in several places where the stone had scraped her skin. "Tonks!" Remus called to her, lifting her had a little. "Tonks!" He lightly patted her on the cheek. "Nymphadora!" He called, wishing more than anything that she'd wake up and slap him for calling her by her first name. She gave no answer to any of his calls. "Please Tonks, answer me," he begged.

Mad-Eye crawled over to them, his forehead still bleeding, but his magical eye back in place.

"What's happened to her?" He asked staring down at Tonks.

"I don't know exactly," Remus said quickly. "I thought it was a stunning spell, but now I'm sure. It was Bellatrix that hit her. Plus, she fell all down all those stone tiers. We have to get her to St. Mungo's immediately."

"You take her," Mad-Eye commanded, standing up. "Dumbledore's with Potter and we'll round up the rest of the kids, you take her before it gets worse," Remus knew what Mad-Eye meant by worse, but he didn't to think about it. He carefully picked Tonks up from the ground, her arms hanging by her sides. He didn't like the look of her; she was very pale, and terribly cold. Remus was no expert on injuries, but he knew it couldn't be good. He ran up the steps and through the doors, praying he would find the right door back to the hall.

Magically, the first door he tried was the right one. He held is wand as high as he could, his wand arm hindered by Tonks. He didn't know what was happening beyond the door, where Harry, Dumbledore, and Bellatrix had gone.

When he reached the hall, he knew whatever happened was over. Harry was with Dumbledore and ministry officials, including Fudge were standing around. Knowing Harry was safe, Remus paid no attention to the rest of them, and continued to run to the atrium, the only place from which he could apparate.

Upon reaching the atrium, Remus tightened his grip on Tonks, and tried to put St. Mungo's firmly in his mind. The last thing he needed was for either of them to get splinched.

Remus found himself right outside of the ugly display window of Purge & Dowse. He rushed through the window, feeling like he'd just run through a waterfall of freezing water. He tightened his grip on Tonks still, looking down occasionally hoping that her eyes would be open just a little, or that her hair would have turned pink again, or any color for that matter.

"What in Merlin's name—"started the receptionist, standing up very confused, but Remus cut her off.

"She's an auror," Remus began. "She's an auror, Nymphadora Tonks. She was fighting a Death Eater, and she was hit. I'm not sure by what, it looked like a stunner, but I'm not sure. She took a nasty fall after that, and she hasn't been conscious since."

The receptionist called over two young wizards who looked as though they were healers in training. She instructed them to take Tonks to Spell Damage on the fourth floor. They took her out of Remus' arms, and ran through the double doors leading to the stairs.

Remus followed them quickly; really having no idea what to do. He should go back and make sure that Harry was alright, but he couldn't just leave Tonks. She had no one there with her. Remus had no idea how to get in touch with her family. He couldn't leave her. He knew Harry and the others were safe with Dumbledore.

Remus stopped at the lavatory at the top of the stairs to wash the blood off of his hands. He didn't want to think about it. It was Tonks' blood. That fall was awful. Leave it to Tonks to fall so much after being hit. He couldn't lose her. He'd just lost Sirius, he couldn't lose Tonks too.

After circling the fourth floor, Remus finally found the room where Tonks had been taken. The door was closed, and the curtains around her bed drawn. Remus had no choice, but to wait. He slumped into a chair across from Tonks's room, so he could have a clear view of it when the healers left.

"Excuse me," a timid young witch holding a clipboard came over to him. He looked up at her solemnly. He didn't have the energy to recount anything to this girl. "Excuse me, Sir; did you bring in this woman?"

"Yes, I did," Remus answered.

"Can I have your name, Sir?"

"Remus Lupin."

"And the patients name?"  
"Nymphadora Tonks," he cringed for her, he knew she would be angry at him for using her first name. "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure of anything at the moment, sir. The healers are with her now. Someone will come speak to you shortly.

Remus had no choice but to sit and wait, which was maddening. He kept looking up, but nothing changed. He had no idea what was taking them so long. He placed his head into his hands, wishing desperately this had all been a dream. He'd lost his best friend, someone he lost a long time ago, but found again. Having Sirius with him again had almost been like being back at school. He couldn't believe Sirius was gone. He wanted to refuse, like Harry, to cry for the loss of his best friend, but he had to be strong.

"Excuse me, Mr. Lupin," a witch in lime green robes, a healer, stood in front of Remus.

"Yes," he said removing his head from his hands and staring up at the witch.

"We've just finished with Ms. Tonks," she answered.

"And?" He asked, trying not to sound too impatient.

"Well, we've treated the broken arm and fractured leg, and patched up the open wounds, the fall would explain those. We haven't been able to do anything concerning whatever spell hit her. We're not sure what it was, but it was powerful dark magic, and unfortunately there's nothing we can do about that. We expect Ms. Tonks to be awake in a few days. All we can do is wait, I'm afraid."

"But she will wake up?" Remus almost stated rather than asked.

"We expect her to, yes, but of course there are no guarantees. I assure you we've done everything we could, and will continue monitoring her. Now, Mr. Lupin, I would suggest that you go home and get some rest. If you leave us information someone will contact you be owl or patronus if Ms. Tonks wakes."

"No thank you," Remus stated kindly. "I'm going to wait here."

Remus couldn't leave Tonks. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her, and he almost had. He wasn't about to leave her in the hospital alone.

So that was it. I hope you liked it :] Please leave a review :]


	20. Awakening Heartache

Hey everyone! I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to update, I've been so busy with school, but since I had a long break, I wrote two chapters. Anyway, this is the next chapter, I hope you like it. Please take time to review it for me, I'd be most appreciative :]

The normal disclaimer-none of this is mine, it all belongs to JK Rowling

The bolded words in this chapter are quoted directly from Chapter 36 "The Second War Begins" from _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ written, obviously, by JK Rowling

Just a brief recap:

_The battle at the ministry occurred, and Sirius died. Tonks was badly injured, so Remus took her to St. Mungo's. _

**Chapter 20**

**Awakening Heartache**

It had been four days since the Order had gone to the ministry to get Harry and the rest of the kids. They were safe, which was the most important thing, but the prophecy was destroyed and worst of all, Sirius was dead. Remus always knew that Sirius would go down fighting. It wouldn't make sense any other way. As he sat in the small chair in the corner of Tonks' hospital room, Remus thought about all the time he spent with Sirius at school. He especially remembered one night during Christmas break in his seventh year, he and his friends had stayed at school for the holiday. Times were getting worse, and the three boys, James, Sirius, and he, knew that they were headed straight for the Order when school was over. They'd heard about it through a few friends, and eventually from Dumbledore himself. Remus recalled one of their last nights during break.

_ It was nearing midnight when James came practically stomping into the common room. _

_ "What's your problem, Prongs?" Sirius asked, casually throwing a fanged frisbee around the room as he lounged on the couch. Remus closed his potions book, and sat up in the large chair, to look up at James._

_ "I've just spoken to Dumbledore," James said, frustration pouring out of him as he paced through the empty room._

_ "And…" Sirius began._

_ "He says we can't join yet, as students we aren't allowed."_

_ "Well, Prongs," Remus said calmly. "That does make sense. Dumbledore is our headmaster, and he has a duty to keep us safe. You know very well that joining the Order is almost the equivalent of a death sentence._

_ "Oh Moony," James said flippantly, "they're never going to get me. I'm top in my year for Defense; professor says I'm one of the best he's ever seen. It's going to take a lot more than a couple of Death Eaters to bring me down." Remus just shook his head in reply. His friend's confidence was going to be much more of a danger to him than the Death Eaters would be._

_ "Well, I know one thing," Sirius said._

_ "What's that Padfoot," Remus asked._

_ "I'm going down fighting." He stated. "I'm not going to sit here and do nothing while people are dying left and right. I'm going to end up dying anyway—"_

_ "Padfoot," Remus began to say._

_ "No, Moony," Sirius continued. "Think about it. My whole family is on that side. The first person they're going to come after is me."_

_ "Padfoot," Remus began, "I think you're exaggerating that—"_

_ "I only say what's true," Sirius stated with a bit of flare. "I wouldn't mind though. I'd love to fight one of them, dear old Bellatrix or Narcissa, or Lucius."_

_ "I just don't get it," James interrupted. "Dumbledore knows the second I'm out of here, I'm joining. I'm not wasting my time training to be an auror, none of that will matter soon. If we're willing to join now, why can't we? We're of age! Dumbledore needs all the help he can get."_

_ "Padfoot," Remus said, "we're still in school. Dumbledore has to protect us for now. He knows we're all going to join, but he doesn't want to put us in that type of danger right now. He wants us to learn everything that we can."_

_ "Oh, come off it, Moony, they're not teaching us anything we don't already know. School's almost over for us."_

_ "There's always more to learn," Remus said calmly. "The more you learn the more prepared you'll be." There was silence for a few moments, except for the crackling of the fire, before Sirius spoke up._

"_You know what I was thinking?"  
"What, Padfoot?" James asked._

_ "Dumbledore won't let us join because we're students." James and Remus just stared at him blankly. "Well, then why don't we just stop being students?" James's faced changed to one of consideration while Remus' changed to one of shock. "Prongs," Sirius said encouragingly, "you said it yourself, they're not going to teach us anything we don't already know, and we're not going to try to find jobs after this. We're going to have to fight. Why not just go now? Dumbledore can't keep us out if we're no longer students."_

_ "You have a point, Padfoot. Dumbledore did say he'd be glad for us to join when we'd finished with school."_

_ "Prongs, don't be mad," Remus said. "Lily would kill you—"_

_ "Why would I kill James this time?" Lily asked walking down the stairs from the girls' dormitories._

_ "Nothing Lily," Sirius said, shooting daggers at Remus with his eyes. "We're just talking."_

_ "Talking about what?" Lily said very concerned, making her way over to James. Neither Sirius nor James spoke._

_ "Padfoot and Prongs, are thinking about leaving school now, rather than finishing, so that they can join the Order," Remus told Lily._

_ "No!" Lily yelled at James. "You can't leave yet, not this close to the end."_

_ "Dumbledore won't let us join the Order until we're out of school. I can't sit around here anymore, Lily."_

_ "It's only a few more months, James. As soon as we get off the Express for the last time, you can join right up, and I'll be right behind you. It's only a few more months," she put her arm around him._

_ "I know," James said a little more calmly, "but I just hate sitting here when I know that people are out there fighting right now."_

_ "I know you do," Lily said rubbing James's arm, understandingly, "but you just have to wait a little longer. You can't leave now, you still have Quidditch games, you can't let the team down," Lily laughed a little, James loved Quidditch more than anything. "And you," she said looking at Sirius, "you can't leave before you finish school. You're the only one in your family who ended up in Gryffindor; you have to show them you can make it all the way through."_

_ "I know," Sirius said, "but it would just be so much easier to just go and off one of them right now."_

_ "I know you want to fight, all of you," Lily said making sure she added Remus into the equation. She knew even though he was more level headed than the other two, he was headed to the Order too. "And you will. You just need to finish school first. Learn everything you can, get as much out of it as you can. After all, once we join the Order, we're going to be fighting for our lives. Try to embrace your last months of being safe here."_

_ "You're right, Lils," James said kissing her on the forehead. _

_ "I know," she answered, sweetly, yet not arrogantly. "I'm going back to bed now. I've got loads of homework to do in the morning." She kissed James on the forehead and made her way back up the stairs to her dormitory._

_ "I'm headed in too, guys," James said. "We've got an early Quidditch practice tomorrow." James made his way up in the stairs to his dormitory._

_ "Well," Sirius said. "I guess I'll head in too. It's not really worth throwing this around," he pointed to the fizzing wizbee, "if Lily's not in the mood to yell at me for it. You coming, Moony?"_

_ "I'll be up in a little while," Remus said, "I'm going to finish this chapter."_

_ "Alright, but don't study too much," Sirius warned. "We want you joining the Order after school, not changing your mind and going for a ministry position."_

_ "No danger of that, Padfoot," Remus said picking up his book. "I'm going down fighting just like you." Sirius nodded and headed up the stairs, leaving Remus alone with his book in the empty common room. He was glad Lily had convinced James to stay for the rest of the year. He knew she would, and by default Sirius would be convinced as well. Remus had the same drive that the other two did, he just had more sense to him. He wanted to know as much as he could before he left. He wanted to be as useful as possible. Remus knew that in a few months the safety of school would be gone. His and his friends' lives would be in danger every day, especially since they joined the Order. It was painful to think that any day one of his friends could be taken from him, but he knew they had to fight. They had to fight for what was right, even if it meant dying for it in the end. He knew that if the Marauders had to die during this long battle, they were all going down fighting._

Remus blinked his eyes several times, bringing himself back to reality. He remembered that day like yesterday. He had no idea that in a few short years that two of his best friends would be dead, leaving a baby alone in the world. When Lily and James were killed, he lost Sirius too. He remembered the anger and the feeling of betrayal he experienced when he found out that Sirius had sold them out. He was glad the ministry had gotten to him first because if they hadn't, he would have gone after Sirius and killed him himself.

He remembered seeing Peter's name on the Marauder's map when he'd taken it from Harry. It was then that he began to question what really happened all those years ago. He began to recall how oddly Peter had been acting, they hadn't heard from him for months. He knew that Sirius would never betray James and Lily. He began to realize that something wasn't right.

The last months that Remus had lived with Sirius were almost like being back at school. Of course it was never the same without James there, and then knowing that Peter had betrayed them all. Still, they talked of old times, and remembered old plans they had made. Remus felt sick as he remembered Sirius' last words to him-watch over Harry. Had Sirius somehow known that he wouldn't make it out of the ministry? He always knew he would go down fighting. Like he said so many years ago, he wouldn't mind having a go at Bellatrix.

Remus was pulled from his thoughts as he heard a stir coming from Tonks' bed. He looked up in hope, but realized that she was still sound asleep as she had been for the past four days. Every once in a while she took a large breath, and Remus would shoot up in hope that she was final waking, but she never did. The healers said they couldn't do anything about the spell, it was dark magic Bellatrix used, but they expected her to be fine. Remus just wished she would wake up, just for a minute, so he could stop worrying that she wouldn't.

Despite wanting her to wake, Remus was also apprehensive. Tonks still didn't know that Sirius had died; there was no telling if she remembered anything at all from the night. Someone had to tell Tonks, and Remus knew it would have to be him. Sirius would have wanted it that way, and so did he, no matter how painful it was going to be to relive it.

"Remus?" Someone called from the doorway. Remus looked up and saw Molly and Arthur standing there, looking concerned.

"Molly, Arthur," he stood up and walked out of the room. He wanted Tonks to wake up, but didn't want to bother her with any noise.

"Remus," Molly said, almost scolding him, "have you gone home at all?" She looked at him up and down. "You're wearing the same clothes you were four days ago, and Mad-Eye told us you were here all day yesterday. You need rest, dear," she spoke as though she were talking to one of her sons.

"Molly, I'm fine—" he began, but she cut him off.

"No, Remus, you've been here for days! Have you even had anything to eat?" He hadn't, but he wasn't about to tell her that.

"Really, Molly I'm fine."

"Remus, you need to go home and eat something right now."

"Molly, I don't want to leave her here. I don't want her to wake up alone. She might not even remember how she got here."

"Remus, she won't be alone. We'll be here with her, and the healers are here. They've been instructed to contact you as soon as she wakes up. You need to take care of yourself."

"Molly—"  
"No Remus, not another word. Now, we're going to find Arthur something to eat," she nodded to her husband, "he's just gotten off his shift at the ministry. They have everyone working overtime, after what happened. When we come back, you better have gone home to eat something, or I'm going to force you to come to our house and eat there." Remus opened his mouth to object, but this time Arthur cut him off.

"It's best not to argue with her, Remus," he said. "She's lived with seven stubborn men, and she's never lost an argument."

"He's right, Remus," Molly said.

"Alright," Remus said, giving up. Molly smiled her motherly smiled at him, as she and Arthur headed down the hall to find the cafeteria near one of the waiting rooms.

Remus walked back into the room, but didn't bother sitting down. He knew Molly and Arthur were going to be quick. Molly was going to try and force him over, so she could feed him. Remus knew he hadn't eaten in days, but he hadn't really noticed. He'd been so worried about other things, it didn't even bother him.

He was going to go and get something to eat, but he wasn't going home. He'd find another cafeteria on a different floor, and sit there for a while until Molly and Arthur left. He wasn't leaving the hospital until Tonks was awake. He knew she'd want to know everything when she woke up, and she wouldn't wait for him to get there to find out.

He walked cautiously over to the side of her bed. He was praying she would wake up right then, so he could stay, but he knew she was still fast asleep. Looking down at her peaceful figure, he almost didn't want her to wake. As soon as she did, that peace would be ruined. She'd be devastated when she found out that Sirius was gone. They had become such good friends from their time in the Order. Tonks looked very much the same that she had four days before when Remus brought her to St. Mungo's. Her heart shaped face was very pale and her hair was a tangled mess of mousy brown spread out on her pillow. He glanced down at her one final time. He didn't want to leave her there. Even if she wasn't awake, he wanted to be there with her.

He looked up at the clock on her wall, it had been about ten minutes since Molly and Arthur had gone, he knew they would be back soon. He loved Molly and Arthur, and appreciated that they would have him, but he didn't want to spend the entire evening at their home. He wanted to be at St. Mungo's with Tonks until she woke up.

He leaned carefully over the side of Tonks' bed and kissed her lightly on the forehead. Tonks didn't know, and Remus didn't see as he walked away, that very tips of Tonks' hair feebly turned pink for a few brief moments.

He slowly made his way out of the room, and quietly closed the door. He was going to head in the other direction to make sure he didn't run into Molly and Arthur.

Remus had been sitting in the cafeteria for a little over an hour; he hoped Molly and Arthur had gone home. He didn't want to have to explain to Molly why he was wearing the same clothes. He decided to wait five more minutes before he went back upstairs. It was nearing four o'clock, Mr. Weasley had been at work all night, Remus was sure that he would need to get home and get some rest. Remus stared blankly at the old clock on the cafeteria wall as he absentmindedly pushed around the few pieces of food he had on his place. He'd only taken a few bites, he wasn't hungry. He wasn't tired either, despite not sleeping for a few days. He just wanted to go back upstairs and wait where he had been. He didn't want Tonks to be alone.

When Remus reentered Tonks's room, he was pleased to see that Molly and Arthur had already gone, leaving a small bouquet of garden flowers on Tonks's night stand. Remus smiled as he looked down at the chair he had been occupying for the past four days, there was a _Daily Prophet_ laying there. Arthur must have left it for him. Remus decided he would move his chair next to Tonks's nightstand. There was a lamp there, and it would be easier for Remus to read the _Prophet._

Remus looked at the front page, staring back at him were several pictures of Dumbledore, the minister of magic, and the ministry in shambles. Mostly the entire paper was about the mayhem at the ministry. The biggest story concerned Fudge and Dumbledore, and who was really suited to be the minister of magic. Remus had just begun flipping pages to read the rest of the story when he heard Tonks's deep breath. He lifted his eyes from the paper, unhopeful, for this had happened many times before and Tonks still slept. However, this time when he looked back down at the paper, he saw something out of the corner of his eye.

Tonks's eyes began to flutter very slowly, making their way open.

"Tonks?" Remus called softly, standing up quickly. Her eyes began to blink more rapidly until they were fully open, big, brown, and blank.

"Remus?" Tonks asked questioningly, turning her head to look in his direction.

"Tonks!" He said again, hardly believing she was really awake.

"Am I in St. Mungo's?" She asked looking down at herself in the bed. "How did I get here?" She was very confused.

Remus stepped closer to her bed. "The battle at the ministry," he said. "We were going to get the kids, do you remem—" Tonks cut him off.

"The Ministry!" She shouted sitting straight up. "Remus, are the kids alright?"

"Yes, yes they're alright, Tonks," he said. "A few minor injuries, but they're all fine."

"Thank Merlin! And you, you're alright?" She asked, concerned as she patted the end of the bed for Remus to sit.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," he said taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"And Sirius, he's alright too?" She asked. This was the moment Remus had been dreading. He didn't know how to say it, so he merely shook his head slowly, unable to look at Tonks in the eyes.

"No," Tonks said, tears welling up in her eyes. "No," she repeated, her voice beginning to shake. She pushed her hands onto her face and began to cry. Remus reached over and rubbed her shoulder, trying his best to keep his own tears from filling his eyes.

"What happened?" Tonks sniffed as she managed to look up. Remus explained what had happened at the ministry—that Bellatrix had hit Tonks and she'd fallen down all the steps, and that when Dumbledore had shown up all of the dueling stopped, except for Sirius and Bellatrix, and how Bellatrix had finally killed Sirius. Tonks looked at Remus, her eyes filled to the brim with tears, and she began to sob. Remus simply put his arm around her, and let her cry into his chest, while he rubbed her shoulder. His own eyes filled with tears that slid down his cheeks, drowned out by Tonks' sobbing.

After a few minutes, Tonks managed to compose herself a little. She sat up, and brushed the tears away from her eyes.

"How's Harry?" She managed to ask.

"He's doing as well as can be expected," Remus answered. "He's back at Hogwarts with the others. Dumbledore's doing all he can." Tonks merely nodded, she couldn't bring herself to say anything.

Four days, four days Tonks had been lying there, and to her it felt as though she'd merely taken a short nap. She's missed so much. She didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to Sirius, and she never would, his body was gone forever. He'd been such a good friend to her; always treated her very well, like he'd known her for years. He, and Remus, were the reasons she looked forward to the Order meetings so much. Now, all of that was gone. Tonks had lost people before, but she had never really lost a good friend. This was a sadness she had never felt before. It only worsened when she realized that this pain was very likely to occur again, now that Voldemort was rising back to power.

Tonks pulled herself away from her own thoughts. She'd been staring blankly at the same spot on her blanket, not saying a word to Remus. She glanced over at him. He was staring too, at a spot on the wall, clearly lost in his own thoughts. For a moment, Tonks felt very selfish. Here she was, feeling awful for herself, that she had lost a dear friend, when Remus had lost a childhood friend, the last of his best friends from school.

"Are you going to be alright?" Tonks asked timidly.

Remus, seemingly pulled away from his own thoughts, simply answered, "Yes, I'll be fine." Tonks had a feeling that Remus had taken that attitude through a lot of the trials in his life.

"I just…" Tonks began, her eyes filling with tears again, "I just can't believe that he's gone." She closed her eyes again to try and stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. Remus was devastated too; she didn't need to make it worse. She felt Remus put his arm around her again.

"I know," he said calmly. Tonks leaned her head on his shoulder, and looked up at him again; glad he had chosen a new spot on the wall at which to stare. His face was stoic. Tonks had to force herself to look away from him. Thinking about how devastated Remus had to be made Tonks even more upset. Fourteen years before, Remus had lost his best friends. Three had been murdered, and one betrayed and killed them. Not only did Remus lose Lily, James, and Peter, he lost Sirius too. He was furious and betrayed. Then two years before, Remus discovered that all those occurrences so many years ago had been lies. Yes, his two best friends had been betrayed, but it had been Peter who did it, and Sirius, the friend he'd lost to Azkaban for twelve years, had been innocent. He'd finally gotten Sirius, his best friend, back; and now he was gone. Tonks couldn't imagine that. This was her first time losing someone truly close to her; she couldn't imagine going through it three times.

After a few more days, Tonks was finally released from St. Mungo's. Remus had stayed with her the entire time, refusing to leave even when Tonks begged him to go home and get some rest. He simply said that Sirius would kill him if he knew Remus had left Tonks there. Molly and Arthur and come to see Tonks again, as well to Tonks's surprise, Mad-Eye.

A few days later, Tonks was seated in the Weasleys' kitchen. All Order meetings had stopped until they could find a permanent location, but some Order members always seemed to find their way to the Burrow. Mad-Eye was there, speaking to Molly, Arthur, and Remus about going to retrieve Harry from King's Cross Station. They were going to speak with his aunt and uncle about the way they had been treating Harry. They also had to ensure that Harry was going to stay there until Dumbledore decided otherwise. Tonks knew that now more than ever, Harry needed a safe place to stay during the holidays, and however unfortunate it was for him, that place was the Dursleys'.

"So, we'll meet up at the front at exactly 10:45," Mad-Eye in his usual commanding tone, "and then proceed…"

"Mad-Eye," Arthur said, "We have seven children who have been to Hogwarts. We know how to get to the platform." Mad-Eye just grunted in response.

"By the way," Mrs. Weasley said, "Fred and George want to come to." Arthur, Mad-Eye, Remus, and Tonks all just stared at her in response. They knew Molly hadn't been to keen on either of her twin boys since they left Hogwarts.

"Well," she said hesitantly. "I think it's nice, wanting to come and get their brother and sister."

"So," Remus said kindly, "I take it you have forgiven them for leaving Hogwarts."

"No," Molly said abruptly. "But they don't seem to be doing too badly. They're of age after all, and there's nothing else I can really do about it." Arthur put his arm lovingly around his wife. Tonks suspected they had spent a lot of time talking about this subject.

"I want to come to!" Tonks suddenly added.

"This is not a welcome wagon," Mad-Eye said. "We're not going to be standing around with banners and signs. We have to speak to his aunt and Uncle."

"I know, and I want to come," Tonks answered sternly. "I care about Harry just as much as everyone does. He was Sirius' godson after all…" she let her own voice drift into silence. There was suddenly a feeling of tension in the room.

"Tonks, dear," Molly said soothingly, "you've been through quite a lot in the past couple of weeks. Do you really think you're up for it?"

"Merlin," Tonks said laughing. "We're only going to the train station, not fighting off Death Eaters." Molly still looked apprehensive.

"I think that if Tonks feels that she is up to coming, then she should," Remus said. Tonks smiled, lifting her teacup toward him in thanks.

"What's one more, Mad-Eye?" Arthur asked.

"Fine," Mad-Eye said. "But, do not be late. On second thought," he added a few moments later. "Remus you go and get her tomorrow morning from her flat."

"Oh really, Mad-Eye," Tonks said. "I'm not a child. I do not need looking after." But there was simply no talking to Mad-Eye, he made up his mind. And Although Tonks was furious that Mad-Eye was treating her like a child, she felt the slightest bit flattered that he wanted her to be protected, perhaps he did care for her after all.

The next morning, Remus and Tonks arrived at King's Cross at 10:45, and met with Mad-Eye, Arthur, Molly, Fred, and George. All were dressed in their best muggle attire, Tonks in her customary patched jeans and Weird Sisters t-shirt.

They waited in silence until the train came roaring into the station. As soon as it came to a full stop, Tonks began looking all around for Harry and the rest of the kids, standing on tiptoe and craning her neck to try and see beyond all the other waiting families.

Finally, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny came walking over, luggage dragging along behind them. Molly and Arthur spoke to Harry first, Molly fussing over him as usual.

"**Hello, Harry," said **Remus**, as Mrs. Weasley let go of Harry and turned to greet Hermione.  
"Hi," said Harry. "I didn't expect ... what are you all doing here?"  
"Well," said **Remus** with a slight smile, "we thought we might have a little chat with your aunt and uncle before letting them take you home."  
"I dunno if that's a good idea," said Harry at once.  
"Oh, I think it is," growled **Mad-Eye**, who had limped a little closer. "That'll be them, will it, Potter?"**

After Harry confirmed that the three appalled looking people huddled very close together were his aunt, uncle, and cousin and Arthur had finished speaking to Hermione's parents, Arthur and Mad-Eye took the lead over to Harry's family.

"**Good afternoon," said **Arthur** pleasantly to Uncle Vernon as he came to a halt right in front of him. "You might remember me, my name's Arthur Weasley. We thought we'd just have a few words with you about Harry," said **Arthur**, still smiling.  
"Yeah," growled **Mad-Eye**. "About how he's treated when he's at your place."  
"I am not aware that it is any of your business what goes on in my house—," **Mr. Dursley started. **  
"I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursley," growled **Mad-Eye.**  
"Anyway, that's not the point," interjected Tonks, whose pink hair seemed to offend Aunt Petunia more than all the rest put together, for she closed her eyes rather than look at her. "The point is, if we find out you've been horrible to Harry—"  
"-And make no mistake, we'll hear about it," added **Remus **pleasantly.  
"Yes," said **Arthur**, "even if you won't let Harry use the felly-tone-"  
"Telephone," whispered Hermione.  
"-Yeah, if we get any hint that Potter's been mistreated in any way, you'll have us to answer to," said **Mad-Eye.**  
"Are you threatening me, sir?" **Mr. Dursley **said, so loudly that passers-by actually turned to stare.  
"Yes, I am," said** Mad-Eye**, who seemed rather pleased that **Mr. Dursley** had grasped this fact so quickly.  
"And do I look like the kind of man who can be intimidated?" barked **Mr. Dursley**.  
"Well ..." said **Mad-Eye**, pushing back his bowler hat to reveal his sinisterly revolving magical eye. **Mr. Dursley** leapt backwards in horror and collided painfully with a luggage trolley. "Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley."  
He turned away from **Mr. Dursley** to survey Harry.  
"So, Potter ... give us a shout if you need us. If we don't hear from you for three days in a row, we'll send someone along ...Bye, then, Potter," said **Mad-Eye**, grasping Harry's shoulder for a moment with a gnarled hand.  
"Take care, Harry," said **Remus** quietly. "Keep in touch."**

With that, Harry and his family quickly bustled out of the station. Tonks felt a pang of sadness as she watched Harry leaving. She knew that besides Remus, Harry was the most devastated about Sirius' death. Tonks knew that Sirius had once told Harry that he could come and live with him, be a proper family, once he was finally free again, but until after Sirius died, that time had never come. Sirius was the closest thing to family that Harry had, and now he was gone. Tonks only hoped that Dumbledore would get Harry away from the muggles as fast as possible, they seemed a like a horrible lot, and their house was so unnaturally clean too.

Please kindly leave a review for me :] Thanks!


	21. More Than Surprise

So, I know it took me absolutely forever to publish my last chapter, and I'm super sorry about that. I hope everyone is still reading. Please leave a review for me. :]

**Chapter 21**

**More Than Surprise**

It had been almost a week since Tonks had gone to King's Cross to speak with Harry's Aunt and Uncle. She was still on leave from work for her injuries for a few more days. She was certain this would bother Scrimgeour, especially since the ministry was finally behind Dumbledore about Voldemort's coming back into power. Tonks suspected that the aurors would be working a lot more than they ever had catching death eaters. This prospect would have delighted Tonks had the circumstances been different. She would have gone straight back to work the moment she could stand. However, since Sirius was gone, Tonks began to see the vastly approaching grim side to things. She didn't feel like doing much of anything. She just wanted to stay in her sitting room with some hot chocolate and a grilled cheese sandwich listening to the Weird Sister on WWN.

As Tonks was pouring herself some hot chocolate, she heard a faint tapping at her window. She presumed it was her subscription of the _Daily Prophet_, but she didn't recognize the owl. It was a tiny, very jumpy little thing. It was quite a job for Tonks to untie the letter from the fidgeting bird's foot.

_Dear Tonks,_

_ We're going back to headquarters today at 1:00pm. We know that we're supposed to have vacated, but we have to go back to make sure nothing was left lying around. We can never be too sure. If you're up for it, meet us at Grimmauld Square, and be ready with a wand because we don't know what we're going to find._

_ Love,_

_ Molly_

Tonks turned the parchment over to scribble a response, but she couldn't get herself to start writing. She knew she wanted to go and help, but she wasn't sure if she would be able to stand being in Grimmauld Place. The last time she had been there was the day that Sirius died. Tonks could feel the tears forming in her eyes. She took a deep breath. She had to go. She couldn't let Sirius' death keep her from going. She had a duty to the Order. She quickly scribbled back _I'll be there _on the parchment, and reattached it to the jittery owl's leg.

At one o'clock Tonks found herself standing outside of Grimmauld Square. Soon after she arrived, Molly and Arthur came.

"Sorry we're late, Tonks," Arthur said. "Ministry's a mess. I reckon the aurors have it worse than everyone else. I'm sure you'll find out once you get back to work." Tonks wanted to keep a conversation with Mr. Weasley, but all she could manage was a nod.

Suddenly, another figure appeared at the edge of the square. It was Remus. Despite how horrible Tonks was feeling, she couldn't help feeling a twinge of happiness upon seeing him.

"Sorry, I'm late," Remus said apologetically. "I was speaking with Dumbledore."

"It's quite alright, Remus," Arthur said. "We've only just gotten here ourselves." For a few moments, the group was silent. Tonks knew they must have all thought about Grimmauld Place appearing, because the muggle houses began to separate to reveal the old gloomy house. Tonks looked over at Remus, who was solemnly staring toward the house.

"Now," said Molly, "Dumbledore wants us in and out as fast as possible, but I would think that if no one's in there when we arrive, we should be alright.

"We should make a quick check around the house, just in case," said Arthur.

"And cover the portraits," Tonks said. "We don't need one of them running off to another one somewhere."

"Right then," said Arthur. "In we go, wands at the ready."

The four of them walked steadily up the worn stone front steps of 12 Grimmauld Place, and in through the door. Nothing seemed to be out of order, even the picture of Sirius' mum was still hidden behind the curtains.

Once arriving in the kitchen, Molly decided that everyone should separate and quickly check over one part of the house. Tonks volunteered to help with the upstairs, where all the bedrooms were.

Tonks had been doing well looking through all the rooms, wand raised high in front of her. She came to the last room, and thought she would be fit to handle it. Upon opening the door, she realized that she was wrong. Sirius' room seemed to be in order, no more messy than usual. Tonks had only peered inside before, but it certainly did look like Sirius; Gryffindor colors and pictures of muggle girls stuck on the walls. Tonks didn't even realize she was crying, until she could no longer see the room in front of her. She quickly left the room, and closed the door, but this time, she didn't think she could stop herself from crying.

She made her way downstairs, trying her very best to pull herself together. Everyone had enough to worry about without her acting ridiculously. Tonks stopped on the landing when she saw Remus standing in the sitting room, looking over the chess set that was still on the table. When Tonks managed to pull away her gaze, she realized that she was not the only one studying Remus. Molly was standing in the doorway, a heartbreaking look upon her tired face.

"Remus, Tonks," Molly said, pulling Remus out of his trance, "why don't you both stay in here while Arthur and I finish up."

"No Molly," Remus protested, "I'm here to help."

"Yeah Molly," Tonks said. "I'm fine."

"Nonsense," Molly said, looking straight into Tonks' red eyes. "You've both been through enough with all of this. Arthur and I are just going to check a few things, make sure nothing's lying around, and then we'll be leaving," she disappeared back into the kitchen.

Tonks knew there was no arguing with Molly, and though she wouldn't admit it, she was slightly grateful that Molly wasn't allowing her to look through any more of the house.

Tonks began to walk around the sitting room distractedly, running her fingers along some old dusty books on the decrepit looking shelf. When she turned around to face Remus, she realized that he had taken a seat on the couch, and was staring at the floor intently.

Tonks gently walked over to the couch, and sat down next to him. For a few minutes, neither of them said anything. Tonks finally spoke when she couldn't stand the silence any longer.

"It's so strange," she said, causing Remus to look away from the floor. "The last time we were here, we had no idea…no idea that he'd be—gone." Tonks looked toward Remus and she could see the pain in his face. "How are you?" She asked. Remus didn't answer right away.

"It feels almost like fifteen years ago," Remus said knowing that he did not need to explain. Fifteen years ago, Remus had lost James and Lily, thought he lost Peter, and lost Sirius to Azkaban. "All those years," he said more to himself than to Tonks. "All those years, and I never once questioned it. I should have known something was wrong. He never would have betrayed James."

"Remus," Tonks said as soothingly as she could, "you had no way of knowing. Everyone else knew how great of friends they were, and they believed it too, even Dumbledore. There were witnesses, everything. Sirius never held that against you."

Remus took a deep breath, "This past month felt very much like being back in school, not the same of course, but almost like it," he smiled weakly. Tonks saw the tears began to outline his eyes.

"There, there," Tonks said remembering what Remus had said to her months ago when she had been crying, slightly angry with herself. "You're much too handsome to cry." She and Remus both laughed feebly. Tonks took her thumb and wiped a single tear from Remus' cheek. She let her thumb trace all the way to the side of Remus' face, right underneath a scar that he had gotten during one of his transformations. Instead of moving her thumb, Tonks spread her hand against the side of Remus' prematurely lined face. For a moment, Tonks just stayed there, looking into Remus' eyes. They were misty blue and had always been very warm and welcoming. Tonks could tell that there was a lot hidden behind those eyes, she wished she could see what Remus was thinking. Remus had seen and endured a lot of things that no one ever should.

Tonks didn't really know what she was doing, and she didn't stop to think about it until it was far too late. For a moment, she felt like something else was pushing her forward, closing the small gap between herself and Remus. Before Tonks had time to even register was she was doing, she was kissing Remus. For a frantic moment, she came to the realization of what she had done, but composed herself very quickly when she realized that Remus was kissing her back. She placed her hands on the side of his face, and she could feel his hand on her back.

Molly was bustling around in the kitchen. She decided she would make some tea. She was furious with herself for asking Remus and Tonks to come. She should have known it would be too much for them. She saw their pained expressions and red rimmed eyes as they walked through the house. Tonks had looked peaky since leaving the hospital, and Remus had always had a ragged look to him after transformations, but Tonks look more pale and peaky than ever, and Remus looked far more ragged than usual. Both of them were devastated over Sirius' death. Molly was upset too, but she knew that she had to keep her head. She had to give his best friends a chance to grieve without worrying about everyone else.

Arthur came in from the front hallway, having just checked the front door again to make sure it was secure.

"Arthur," Molly said. "Go ask Tonks and Remus if they'd like a cup of tea. They're in the sitting room."

"Sure, dear," Arthur said, leaving the kitchen and heading in the other direction. Arthur didn't return right away, he didn't even shout to her.

"Honestly," Molly muttered to herself, leaving the tea boiling in the kettle. "Just asked him to do one, simple thing." Molly marched into the entrance to the sitting room, and found Arthur standing there. "Arthur what are you…" but she stopped herself from finishing the sentence. She looked into the sitting room. Her heart lifted a little as she saw Remus and Tonks, faces pressed against each other. "Oh finally," she gasped, placing her hand on her heart. "Honestly, Arthur," she scolded, "pulling him back into the kitchen. You're just as bad as the boys."

"Sorry, Molly," he said. "I just, I had no…wait," he stopped himself, "what to do you mean finally?"

"Oh Arthur," Molly said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I've known for ages that they fancy each other."

"How in Merlin's…"

"I've known since the time we all had dinner here, and Tonks knocked everything over."

"How is that so different?" Arthur asked, "Tonks is always clumsy."

"Yes, but it wasn't just Tonks." Molly said knowingly. "It was Remus too, poor dear looked very jumpy."

After a few minutes, Mr. Weasley spoke again. "Well, I can see how you would figure it out with Tonks, woman's intuition I guess. But how in Merlin's name were you so sure about Remus."

"Because," Mrs. Weasley responded, "I've raised six sons."

Tonks and Remus had pulled themselves apart. Tonks could feel her cheeks burning red, and she was sure that her hair matched. Neither of them said anything. Remus looked almost…frightened.

"I, er…" Remus said standing very quickly. "I had better be off. I've got things to do for Dumbledore. Tell Molly and Arthur I'll see them soon." Tonks didn't even have time to respond before Remus was out of the sitting room. Seconds later, she heard the front door slam.

"Was that Remus leaving?" Molly asked, rushing out of the kitchen.

"Yes," Tonks said, trying not to sound embarrassed, while simultaneously trying to make sure that her hair wasn't scarlet. "He er…he said he had things to do for Dumbledore, and that he'll see you soon."

"Oh," Molly said almost sadly. She studied Tonks for a moment. "All you alright dear?"

"Oh, yes, I'm…I'm fine," Tonks said. "I'm…I'm er…going to be going too. I have loads of paperwork to catch up on before I go back to work next week. I'm sure with everything we have going on Scrimgeour's not going to care that I was injured."

Tonks made her way out of Grimmauld Place and into the Square as quickly as possible. She decided not to apparate right away, she needed to walk to clear her head. She was very confused. She knew she fancied Remus, she'd known for a while, but she never dreamed she'd act on it. Obviously, Remus felt the same way. Tonks tried very hard to suppress the happiness she felt inside. On the other hand, maybe he didn't. She basically ambushed him; maybe he'd been too stunned to do anything. No, Tonks thought, he could have pulled away whenever he wanted to pull away. Tonks suddenly felt very guilty. She shouldn't feel happy, not with Sirius gone. But then she thought how Sirius would have wanted her to carry on, and not to dwell on his death. Tonks wasn't sure of a lot of things, but one thing of which she was sure, was that moment had been the best she had felt in weeks. She wanted to see Remus again, but she was very nervous. Something was not right when he left; something much more than embarrassment or surprise. Tonks looked forward to seeing him, but was apprehensive at the same time. She had no idea what to expect.

Well, I know this chapter was short, but this was the only thing I really wanted in this one. I have had this scene in my head for practically five years, and it feels so good to write it down finally. :]

Please leave a review for me, and tell me what you thought! :]


	22. Glimpses into Darkness

I have decided that I want to get my butt in gear and continue writing. I really want to thank the people that reviewed since I posted again, and really anyone that reviewed ever in general. Reviews give me a lot of encouragement, and I really appreciate it. So, anyway, that's what I wanted to tell you.

Disclaimer: Not mine, all JK Rowling's. By the way, I'm so happy that she allows people to write Fanfiction. I know some authors don't allow it. JK Rowling finds it flattering, and I have to say that I think if I were an author I would as well.

P.S. I wanted to say that I know most of the time my writing takes place very close together, like this happened in October, this happened in November. However, since we've finally gotten to the beginnings of the relationship, it's going to be a little more spaced out. Just thought I'd let everyone know.

P.S.S. My timeline of events, might be a little off, but I'm just taking creative licensing with it :]

**Chapter 22**

**Glimpses into Darkness**

It had been a two weeks since the incident, as Tonks was now referring to it. At first, Tonks decided it would be best not to say anything, just to keep going on as if nothing had happened, but after a few evenings of being alone with her thoughts, Tonks decided that was completely mad. The truth of the matter was that Tonks didn't want to let it go. She didn't want to pretend it didn't happen. She'd come to the realization that that was what she had been waiting for, and wanting for quite some time. The only problem was, she didn't know how Remus felt. Tonks knew, which she found to be very mature for herself, that she had to talk to Remus if she wanted to get anywhere, despite how terrified she was. She hadn't spoken to Remus at all since the incident, but not for lack of trying. There hadn't been any Order meetings they went to Grimmauld Place, there was still nowhere to meet. Going back to Grimmauld Place again was too dangerous. They didn't know if the house would belong to Harry, as stated in Sirius' will, or if it would pass automatically to another family member, which would be Bellatrix. It was also too dangerous to meet too often in an Order member's home. Mistrust was growing among the wizarding community, and no one ever knew who was watching.

Tonks hadn't planned on doing much on her day off. She'd been working around the clock since she'd returned to work. For once, Tonks was actually doing what an auror would do—searching for Death Eaters. However, her efforts, much like everyone else's, were really to no avail. The one death eater Tonks really wanted was Bellatrix, but she hadn't been assigned to look for her. Tonks would give anything to duel Bellatrix and avenge Sirius' death, but unfortunately, Tonks was assigned to lesser known Death Eaters, and Bellatrix was well hidden. Tonks was nibbling on a piece of toast at her kitchen table, when she heard the normal tapping on her window. The tawny _Daily Prophet _owl waited patiently as Tonks took the paper, and placed one knut into its leather pouch.

Tonks took another bite of toast as she opened the paper, not really expecting to see anything of importance. Yes, the ministry was finally behind Dumbledore, but no one was really having any luck catching anyone, and Tonks knew about most of the muggle catastrophes before they were printed. What Tonks saw on the front page made her choke on her toast; it was like led to swallow. There, glaring at her on the front page was

"_**Ministry of Magic Employee Found Dead"**_

_Ministry of Magic employee, Emmeline Vance was found murdered in her home on 12 Downing Street, London. Vance lived in close proximity to the muggle prime minister in order to keep an eye on the muggles' ministry, and to ensure that magical laws were in securely in place to keep our worlds separate. Vance was found in her home by a muggle neighbor, Debra Eton, who saw her come home from work Monday evening, but never saw her leave the next day. Eton claims that Vance had a very rigid schedule and she became suspicious when she didn't see Vane in the morning. Upon calling Vance on the telephone (a common method of muggle communication) and coming over to the house, Eton called the muggle police, who found Vance dead on the floor in her sitting room. The muggles are at a loss to explain how Vance died, but it appears to be the handiwork of dark magic. It is believed that a Death Eater is behind Vance's murder. Anyone who may have any information is encouraged to contact Kingsley Shaklebolt of the auror department. Vance worked for over 20 years in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. In addition to being a celebrated witch, Vance also had quite the knack for potion making, and enjoyed cooking and gardening. A good friend, Hestia Jones, says that Vance was "an incredibly gifted witch, very dedicated and fair in her job, and an impeccable friend." In light of this horrid event, the ministry of magic wants to remind everyone of the extra safety precautions they should make. They include, but are not limited to: making sure that your home is not penetrable by magic or any way, giving a password that only close family and friends will be able to provide before entering your home, traveling in groups as much as possible, and reporting ANYONE that you believe is under the imperius curse._

Tonks just stared at the paper; she'd stopped reading when the paragraph began talking about safety. She wasn't even sure she took in anything after she read how Emmeline died. Emmeline was a member of the Order. Tonks had just seen in her in the lift on her way home at the ministry a week ago. She wondered if everyone else in the Order had seen the paper yet. Tonks grabbed a quill and a spare piece of parchment and quickly began to write a letter to Molly when she heard another tapping noise on her window. Tonks recognized the large, tired looking owl fluttering outside of her window. It was Errol, the Weasley family owl. Tonks rushed over to the window, let the exhausted bird inside, and tore the letter from its leg. The owl sat on her table for a moments to regain its breath before taking off again. The letter was brief; all it said was _Tonks, Burrow tonight at 5:00. I'll have dinner. –Molly_

That night at ten of five Tonks apparated from the alley behind her flat to the front of the Burrow. She slowly walked to the front door. Tonks was still in shock about Emmeline's death. She and Tonks never been close, like Tonks and Sirius had been, but she was still an Order member, and a very gifted witch. Tonks wasn't sure what the meeting tonight, she presumed it was a meeting, would be about. Would they simply be discussing Emmeline or was there more? Tonks cautiously wrapped on the door.

"Hello?" Called the slightly fearful voice of Molly.

"Hello, Molly," Tonks said. "It's Tonks."

"How does Dumbledore communicate with the Order members?" Molly asked in response.

"He used Fawkes," Tonks replied, not quite sure what was happening. Quickly Molly opened the door.

"Sorry, dear," she said apologetically, "but we have to be certain."

"It's fine, Molly, I understand." Tonks followed Molly into the kitchen; a few members of the Order were already there. Hestia Jones, the closest to Emmeline, was seated on a chair at the table, looking stone-faced and sipping a cup of tea. Elphias Doge was there too talking to Sturgis Podmore. Tonks almost let out an audible gasp when she saw that in the corner talking to Mad-Eye was none other than Dumbledore himself. Tonks hadn't seen Dumbledore for months, she hadn't been conscious when he turned up at the ministry. Within the next few minutes, Kingsley showed up, coming straight from work. Then came Dedalus Diggle, and Professor McGonagall. Mundungus Fletcher showed up just as Molly and Arthur were conjuring chairs for everyone in the cramped kitchen, followed closely by Remus. Tonks blushed as he entered the room, and scolded herself silently immediately after. She didn't have time to think about _that _situation, she had to focus on the meeting.

Dumbledore stood at the top of the table, and beckoned everyone else to sit down.

"I suppose everyone knows why we're all here tonight," He began in a solemn tone. "One of our own was taken from us. Emmeline was, we believe, as the prophet stated, murdered by a Death Eater. Despite the lack of information in the prophet, Kingsley has told me that it is evident that she put up a struggle and fought valiantly." He paused for a moment, which allowed the whole room to hear Hestia and Molly crying. Tonks looked around and saw that Professor McGonagall had tears in her eyes, and Tonks realized that her own eyes were slowly filling with tears as well. "This is a grim event indeed," Dumbledore continued, "but it serves to us as a reminder for what we are fighting, and for what we need to be prepared. Times are getting more dangerous, Voldemort is taking more chances, but we need to remain strong and united, for that is the only way we have a chance of beating him. We need to keep going on, to ensure that Emmeline, and Sirius," Dumbledore added, "didn't die in vain. They fought for the cause, and we need to carry on." He paused again. "I feel that a toast is in order. Molly, Arthur, do you have any wine?"

"Yes, of course," said Molly. She hurriedly conjured up glasses for everyone, and some elf-made wine. Once all the glasses were poured, Dumbledore beckoned them all to stand.

"To Emmeline Vance," he raised his glass, followed by the others, "a truly gifted witch, dedicated member of the Order, and a great friend. May her memory live on in our hearts, and may we continue our fight in her name. To Emmeline!" He raised his glass higher in the air.

"To Emmeline!" Everyone else answered back, raising their glasses higher as well.

After everyone took a sip of their wine, Dumbledore made another toast, "To Sirius Black," Tonks felt the tears filling her eyes more rapidly, "a fine wizard, dedicated member of the Order, and an irreplaceable friend," Tonks swore that Dumbledore looked at her and then quickly at Remus as he said those words. "May his spirit live on is us, may we have the same vigor and strength he did, and may we continue our fight in a way he would be proud. To Sirius!" He raised his glass high again.

"To Sirius!" Everyone answered raising their glasses, and then drinking from them again.

Once more, Dumbledore beckoned them all to sit, and began speaking again. "I apologize it is taking so long to find out where our Order meetings will be taking place, I expect that I will know very shortly, and will notify you all as soon as possible. I would also like to extend my thanks to Molly and Arthur for opening their home to us," there was a murmur of thanks. "I know we are all mourning the deaths of our dear friends, and I find that in times like this it often helps to be surrounded by others, so Molly has prepared a wonderful meal for you all. I unfortunately, will not be able to stay to enjoy what I'm sure will be an enormous pleasure, but I should encourage anyone that can to stay. That is all for this evening." As Dumbledore stood to leave, Tonks noticed for the first time that his hand was black and shriveled looking. What on earth had he done? Had that happened at the ministry? Was that why he wasn't staying? Tonks didn't know, and upon asking Molly, realized that no one else did either.

Since Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Dedalus, and Mundungus did not stay, the kitchen was slightly less cramped. Although delicious, it was a very quiet dinner. People were too immersed in their own thoughts, still mourning the loss of their friends. Tonks did agree with Dumbledore, that despite the lingering sadness, it was easier to sit and eat among friends than alone.

After dinner, Molly had coffee and tea for everyone. People got up and moved around the kitchen. Tonks noticed that since the formality had gone, people began to talk more. She heard Arthur talking to Mad-Eye about Sirius.

"Yes, they have finally admitted they were wrong about Sirius," Arthur said speaking of the ministry. "Of course," they're not reporting anything about it. Don't want to show that they were wrong, but he's been formally cleared, and I'm sure most people know by now." Tonks noticed that Remus, who was standing close to Arthur and Mad-Eye, and obviously listening, had left the kitchen and headed towards the sitting room alone. Tonks knew that hearing everything about Sirius had to be killing him. She thought about it for a moment, thinking that Remus might prefer to be left alone, but remembering what Dumbledore said, she followed him. Tonks wasn't going to discuss her last meeting with Remus, that was for another day, but she couldn't hide from herself the hope she was harboring that by some miracle he would.

Quickly leaving the kitchen, Tonks walked quietly into the sitting room where she found Remus sitting, with his face in his hands, on the couch. She cautiously walked over and sat beside him.

"Remus," she said gently, "Are you alright?" Remus looked up, slightly startled that Tonks was there. She could tell that he had been crying. He didn't say anything, but merely took a deep breath.

"I miss him too," Tonks said. Remus remained stoic, just staring determinedly across the room. "But," she said trying to tread carefully, "at least he was finally cleared, although I think the ministry should have publically reported it."

"Yes," Remus said after a moment, "after years of being in Azkaban and on the run. It drove him mad being in that house again. Now he's free, and he's not here to see it." There really wasn't any emotion to Remus' words; he spoke as though he were stating a simple fact.

"Yes, but," Tonks began, trying to be careful with what she said as she took Remus' hand in her own, "he's more free now than he ever would be here. He's with Lily and James. I'd like to think he's happy."

"I would too," Remus answered. Tonks heard movement from the doorway, and looked up just in time to see Molly quickly exiting the room. She knew. Tonks knew it. Molly somehow knew about her and Remus. Tonks tried not to think about how Molly knew; she was trying to focus on Remus. He wasn't saying anything. Tonks felt her heart beating twice as fast as normal, and could feel her cheeks going scarlet. Remus had to have noticed Molly too. Remus opened his mouth to speak, and Tonks held her breath, perhaps he was going to say something about the other day.

"Well," he said, gently taking his hand out of Tonks', "I suppose I should go now. I have some things to prepare before I go underground again." Tonks' heart dropped several feet, she was sure of it. Why had she gotten her hopes up like that? Then she shuttered. Remus was going with the werewolves again. Tonks had grown quite accustomed to terribly worrying about him when he was with them. Tonks wasn't sure how much longer his work would go. The werewolves were sure to be on Voldemort's side very soon, if they weren't already.

Remus got up, bid goodbye to the rest of the Order, and then left quickly through the front door. It took Tonks a moment to realize that Remus hadn't even said goodbye to her. She quickly felt herself becoming quite angry, and then mentally scolded herself again for thinking about that during this time. She was determined to push all thoughts of this out of her mind until she was home.

That night, Tonks sat in her flat sipping hot chocolate and listening to WWN, hoping that the Weird Sisters would play soon to lift her spirits. Despite the sadness of the day, she had enjoyed sitting with the Order and grieving together. Leaning back on the couch, and closing her eyes, Tonks finally allowed her thoughts of Remus to purge the front of her mind. He hadn't even bothered to say goodbye to her.

_Maybe he was just too distracted; he was very upset about Sirius after all. _

_He said goodbye to everyone else, just not you._

_Well, maybe he just forgot._

_Not bloody likely, you were in the room alone together. This has to do with the incident._

_Why would he act like such a school boy, that's ridiculous?_

_You don't know what he feels about it._

_It's not that important, just let it go._

_No, don't kid yourself. It is important._

After battling herself for a few minutes, Tonks finally came to a conclusion, yet again. She would talk to Remus at the next Order meeting. She would get there early, or stay late or something. She had to talk to him; it would drive her mad otherwise. There was no getting around it. Tonks knew this was the right decision, but it still made her extremely nervous, she was nauseous and could feel her cheeks burning already.

Tonks had been having a very bad day at work. She had already been yelled at by Scrimgeour for not having any information on the Death Eater she was supposed to be finding, she had loads of paperwork to fill out, and she had left the house in such a rush that she hadn't eaten anything all day. She had to admit that her spirits were slightly lifted when she got a memo from Kingsley that told her to come to his office.

"Hello, Tonks," Kingsley said cheerily.

"Wotcher, Kingsley," Tonks replied, plopping herself down on the chair across from his desk.

"Molly and Arthur told me to invite you to dinner tonight at 6:30," he said very calmly, while staring directly at Tonks. Tonks knew there must be another Order meeting happening there.

"How are you coming along with your case?" Kingsley said, looking over forms.

"Nothing," Tonks said. "Just disappeared it seems, but surely they all have."

"Right," Kingsley said continuing the mock conversation. "Well, keep on it."

"Right," Tonks said as she left Kingsley's office.

All Tonks had time to do when she got home was change; she'd left work much later than she planned. She was desperately hoping that Molly would have something for dinner that night.

Upon arriving at the Burrow, Arthur asked Tonks through the closed front door to change her appearance several times. When he finally let her in, Arthur said his apologies just like Molly had the last time.

Most of the Order was gathered in the sitting room, waiting for the meeting to begin. Molly came in from the kitchen, "The meeting's going to have to start a few minutes late," she said. "Kingsley's stuck at the ministry. Everyone come into the kitchen and I'll make some tea while we wait." Everyone followed Molly into the kitchen. Tonks was going to follow to until she realized that she and Remus were the last two in the room. Remus was heading toward the kitchen, and Tonks knew that she had to make a split second decision. _Now or never _she told herself.

"Remus," she called lowly, hoping that the people in the other room wouldn't hear her. Remus turned away from the entry to the kitchen, but didn't say anything. "Do you…er...do you think I could talk to you for a second?"

"Certainly," he said calmly, and he turned around and walked towards her. Tonks felt slightly better for a moment; perhaps things were going to go off easier than she thought. She was half expecting him to say no and run for it. Tonks pulled herself from her thoughts when she realized that Remus was standing right in front of her.

"I er…," she began. "I want to talk to you about the other day," she knew her cheeks were going scarlet, she could feel them burning. But she told herself that she had to stop worrying so much.

"Er…" Remus began, but with a burst of confidence, Tonks cut him off by accident.

"Well, I just…I really need to talk to you about it, it's been driving me quite mad for the past few weeks, and I think it would be best for the both of us if we talked about it."

"Er…"

"I wouldn't be worrying so much about it, but you seemed to be acting rather oddly the last time we met here, and I know you were upset about Sirius, but I can't help thinking that there was more to it. I mean, you left in a quite a hurry, and barely said two words to me."

"Tonks," he began quickly before she had the chance to cut him off again. "We really shouldn't talk about this now," he said.

Tonks felt a sudden surge of anger, and that combined with the awful day she had been having were not a good mix. "Embarrassed are you?" She said angrily. Remus certainly looked like he was caught off guard.

"No, of course no…" but Tonks kept going.

"Can't let the Order know about it. Afraid of what they'd think." Tonks spoke more as if she were making statements rather than asking questions.

"No, Tonks," Remus said very determinedly. "Of course not. It's just…it's just that the Order's got a lot going on at the moment. This isn't the proper time.

"The Order doesn't have to know about it right now," Tonks said. "It's just you and me here, if we keep our voices down…"

"I know that, Tonks," he said. "But think about it, if someone were to overhear. The Order's got enough on their minds; they don't need anything of this sort to think about. Plus, our minds should be fully focused on the meeting tonight." Tonks immediately felt very foolish. Remus was so calm and logical, and she had completely just lost her head. She scolded herself for feeling bad. She was finished with all of that nonsense. She had every right.

"But we will talk?" She said, staring him down for an answer.

"Yes," Remus answered.

Two weeks had gone by since Tonks had spoken to Remus before the meeting at the Burrow, and Tonks had discovered three things pertaining to that situation. The first was that despite not seeing Remus, Tonks didn't feel any differently, the second was that it was driving her absolutely mad that she and Remus hadn't spoken yet, and the third was that if they were going to speak, Tonks was going to have to start off because Remus certainly wasn't going to do it.

Tonks had been sleeping even worse than she normally did over the last two weeks. She'd been working nonstop, trying to capture the escaped Death Eaters with the rest of the aurors. The only time she was able to devote to the present dilemma with Remus was when she was at home, alone, trying to sleep. This proved to be very unfortunate, seeing as she needed the sleep to properly function at work. Tonks realized that she had to actively stop thinking about her issues with Remus, and the hope that he would come to her to talk, while she was at work because Remus popped into her head during the most inopportune times.

It was a chilly, misty Saturday morning, as all the days had been recently, the dementors were gaining strength. Tonks sat at her kitchen table, eating some breakfast and mulling over the situation as she had been with every spare moment. Tonks fancied several people growing up, as all school girls had, but she couldn't remember being this fixated on any of them, this worried about any of them, but then again, she was not nearly in the same situation with any of them as she was with Remus. After hitting her teacup with her elbow and sending it crashing to the floor because her thoughts were elsewhere, Tonks decided that she needed to go to Remus to speak to him. She'd never be able to sleep until this situation was resolved.

About an hour later, Tonks was fastening her traveling cloak and heading out the door of her flat. Normally, she'd take more care to have a muggle appearance, but since it had just began to rain heavily, she hoped that most people would be inside. As she walked swiftly out of her building and toward the alley behind her flat, from where she normally apparated, she began to think of how she would start this conversation.

_Well, you just want to know what he thinks is all. Just tell him how you feel and then have him tell you the same._ Tonks felt a horrible jolt in her stomach.

_Well, he obviously knows how I feel; he'd have to be quite thick not to know._

_Not necessarily, and you still need to find out how he feels._

_Well, don't I already know? _

_Not necessarily, he might have known what to do at Grimmauld Place._

Tonks took a deep breath and she walked behind the dumpster, a safe place to apparate. She tried to think of how she wanted things to do.

_Well, ideally he'd feel the same way, and you could just go from there._

_Go where from there?_

_What if he doesn't feel the same way?_

The arguments going on in Tonks' head proved to her that she needed to stop thinking about it until she got to Remus' flat. Thinking hard about Remus' flat, where she had visited once, she disapparated.

Tonks found herself outside of the shabby apartment building where Remus lived. She had only gone there once before. She quickly made her way up the stairs, praying that Remus was at home.

_Maybe it wouldn't be horrible if he's not at home, it would give you more time to think._

_You're an auror for god's sake, stop worrying._

Tonks found herself staring at the door, where she had once stopped to deliver a Christmas present for Remus. She took a deep breath, and knocked on the door. She heard scuttling from behind it. After what seemed liked hours, Remus finally spoke.

"Who's there?" He called from the other side of the door.

"It's Tonks," Tonks replied solemnly. She immediately switched her hair from its current mousy brown, to purple, to blue, and back to brown again. She figured that Remus had a way of seeing her through the door. She heard the clicking of several locks, and then was face to face with Remus.

"Come in, Tonks," he said.

Tonks walked cautiously into Remus' flat. She had never been inside; Remus wasn't home the last time she stopped by. His flat was very shabby, and minimally decorated. The wallpaper and paint were chipping in places, a few of the kitchen cabinets did not seem to be on their hinges properly, and there was very little furniture, a small table with two chairs in the kitchen, and a scratched wooden table, a worn armchair, and mismatched couch in the sitting room. There was a small hallway in between the two that led to two other doors which Tonks presumed were a bedroom and a bathroom.

Tonks stood in the kitchen rather awkwardly. She wasn't sure where Remus would prefer to sit. "Please, have a seat in the sitting room," Remus said walking over to the stove. Tonks quietly walked over to the worn couch and took a seat, while her thoughts jumped around in her mind.

A few minutes later Remus walked over with two steaming mugs in his hands, and handed one to Tonks. Tonks tried unsuccessfully to suppress a smile when she saw the liquid in the mug.

"Hot chocolate?" She asked, though she knew that's exactly what it was.

"I recall your saying that you prefer that to tea," Remus said calmly, moving the armchair from its current position with his wand to across the table from Tonks, "but if you'd prefer…"

"No, no," Tonks said gratefully, "thank you."

For a few minutes they both sipped their hot chocolate in silence. Tonks was coming dreadfully close to finishing her mug, and she knew that she needed to say something. She'd come for a reason.

"Well, er," Tonks began, noticing the Remus was looking over his mug at her, "I came…I came today because I wanted to talk to you about well…about the other day at Grimmauld Place. I…I tried to talk to you about it the other day, but…well, you know." Remus merely nodded in agreement, although he did remove the mug from his mouth.

"Well, er…"Tonks really did not know how to start this conversation. _You have to do this. _"Well, I know it…it was a bit…unexpected…at Grimmauld Square the other day. I'm…I'm sorry," she began, but was interrupted by her own thoughts. _Don't lie to him, you aren't sorry, this isn't getting you anywhere._

"You don't have to be sorry," Remus said calmly.

"Well,…er…well," _suck it up, you have to do it. _"Well, I'm really not that sorry," she said plainly. "The truth is… I think I've wanted to for quite some time, and truthfully, I don't even know if I realized it myself, but now, now I do. I really do…I really do care for you Remus, more than I ever thought I would." Tonks finished rapidly, and waited for Remus to reply. She couldn't go any further unless he said something.

"I really care for you as well Tonks," he said calmly again, but Tonks could sense that something was wrong in his tone of voice. "I think that all of us in the Order have grown to…"

"No," Tonks interrupted him. "No, that's not what I meant at all. What I meant was…well, what I meant was that I rather fancy you Remus. And I just…I just wanted to know how you felt." Tonks could feel her cheeks burning again, but she kept staring at Remus. It was his turn to speak now.

Tonks could tell Remus was thinking, choosing his words carefully.

"Tonks, I…I am not sorry for what happened at Grimmauld Place, although admittedly I should be…"

"Why should you be…"

"I just…I just…"

"Tell me how you feel, Remus," Tonks almost demanded. She couldn't take this back and forth. "Just tell me, that's all I want, it's been driving me mad.

"I…"

"Tell me the truth, Remus," she said. "I think I deserve that."

"You're right, Tonks, you do. I…I fancy you as well, Tonks." Tonks couldn't believe what she heard, it was what she'd been waiting to hear, what she wanted to hear for months now. Obviously reading the smile on Tonks's face, Remus spoke again.

"But Tonks, we can't. We can't Tonks." Tonks felt her heart beating very rapidly again.

"What are you talking ab…"

"We can't be together, Tonks," Remus said quickly, he looked rather sick.

"What? Why?" Tonks began, hearing the sadness in her own voice.

"It just…it wouldn't work," Remus said.

"What do you mean it wouldn't work?" Tonks said, realizing how dangerously close she was to tears. She had such high hopes for a moment.

"It wouldn't work…people like me…it…it just would never work," he said again.

"I don't understand," Tonks said in an almost pleading voice.

"Tonks...I…you have to go," Remus said standing up quickly. Tonks's eyes widened in shock. "I have…I have things to do for the Order…things to prepare for," he said. He led Tonks to his front door. She just stared at him from the other side of the threshold, shock still visible in her face.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Tonks," Remus said sadly as he gently closed the door.

Tonks just stood there in shock. She couldn't believe what had just happened. She'd been so elated for a moment, Remus felt the same way, she worried for nothing…and then he'd pulled the rug out from right under her. What did he mean it wouldn't work? That didn't make any sense. They had always gotten along, they had been very good friends, why in Merlin's name wouldn't it work?

Tonks had no choice but to go home. She slowly made her way from Remus' flat hoping against hope that this had somehow been a joke, and Remus would open the door again any moment.


	23. One More Question

So, I am trying to type the chapters whenever I get the chance. I am going to be SWAMPED this semester at school. It's only the third day and I already know. I hope everyone enjoyed the last chapter. :] Please leave a review before you go.

P.S. Since the semester is in full swing, you know I wrote that a while ago

Disclaimer: JK Rowling's, not mine.

**A Change of Heart Chapter 23**

**One More Question**

Tonks stared at her pale face and mousy brown hair in the mirror. She didn't have the energy to change it. Besides, she couldn't think of any other color that suited her mood any better. It was going to be another long, terrible day at work. Tonks was no further in her search for Death Eaters than she had been weeks ago, and it didn't help that Scrimgeour was breathing down her neck all the time.

Tonks decided that there was no reason for her to rush into work. The paperwork would still be piled on her desk, and the Death Eaters would still be hiding out when she got there. She decided to wait for the owl to bring the Daily Prophet. There hadn't been an Order meeting in a while, so Tonks was relying on the paper and the office for all of her information.

After accepting the paper from the usual Tawny owl, and paying him before he took off into the chilly morning air, Tonks sat down at her table completely unaware of what would be plastered on the front page. She was shocked.

**Where Fudge Failed Can Scrimgeour Save?**

_**Minister of Magic replaced by head of Auror Department**_

_Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, stepped down from his position last evening. The wizarding world has been screaming for Fudge's resignation since the incident at the Ministry of Magic at the beginning of the summer. The minister kept the public in the dark while persecuting the wrong people in order to keep a peaceful façade. In addition, Fudge was responsible for Hogwart's Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore's leaving his position last year, as well as the controversial hiring of Dolores Umbridge. A ministry insider tells us that "Fudge spent too much time trying to outdo Dumbledore, and persecute Harry Potter, when he should have been watching out for You-Know-Who. Maybe if he would have listened he would have caught him before she showed up at the bloody Ministry." Another ministry employee commented that "[Fudge} has always been a mediocre minister. I mean haven't people been wanting Dumbledore to take his place for years?" That being said, obviously Dumbledore refuses to leave his position as Headmaster of Hogwarts School, so another was chosen to take Fudge's place. Fudge is succeeded by the head of the Auror Department, Rufus Scrimgeour. Scrimgeour's appointment resulted from a unanimous decision from a special board of officials. A ministry employee, who prefers to remain anonymous, says that "since Scrimgeour has been working in the auror department, fighting dark wizards, instead of sitting shut in an office asking Dumbledore's advice, maybe he'll be able to lead us out of the horrible path we're all heading." Will Scrimgeour be able to save the wizarding world, and lead them away from what seems to be history repeating itself? Will Scrimgeour seek alliance with Dumbledore? Highly unlikely, since it has already been reported that he and Dumbledore have already argued even though he's been in the position less than twenty-four hours. What will Scrimgeour's view on Harry Potter be? Is he really the '"Chosen one?" Only time will tell. For a biography of Rufus Scrimgeour turn to page 3, and for more information on Harry Potter, "the Chosen One," turn to page 5._

Tonks couldn't believe it. She was in the auror department and she had no idea that Scrimgeour was even in consideration for Minister of Magic. She knew that people wanted Fudge to step down; things had started down a very rapid spiral since the Ministry of Magic incident, and Fudge had proven that he was not equipped to handle it. Although Tonks couldn't stand Scrimgeour, she understood why people would choose him as the minister. He was experienced at fighting dark wizards and Death Eaters, he was definitely a forceful person, and it didn't hurt that he looked rather like a lion. Despite feeling awful about her issues with Remus, Tonks wanted to go to work. She couldn't wait to see the chaos that the Ministry would undoubtedly be in since this quick appointment. Tonks wasn't sure how she felt about Scrimgeour being the Minister of Magic, but she couldn't suppress her happiness at that thought that she would no longer be breathing down her neck every day.

Tonks arrived at the ministry and saw that, as she expected, it was in a complete frenzy. Interdepartmental memos were flying around everywhere, reporters were running around trying to get quotes, and disgruntled employees were rushing in and out of the lifts. Tonks made her way up to her floor, trying to suppress the spring in her step. She smiled as she walked passed Scrimgeour's empty office. As she walked toward her own desk, a thought struck her. Who was going to be the new head of the Auror Department?

Tonks ran into Kingsley, who was walking from his office.

"Oh, wotcher, Kingsley, sorry," Tonks said.

"Hello, Tonks. It's alright."

"Where you headed?"

"Meeting with our new Minister of Magic."

"Lucky you. Speaking of new, who's the new head of the Department?"

"You're looking at him," he chuckled in his deep voice.

"Really?" Tonks said excitedly. "Congratulations!" Tonks had always been fond of Kingsley, even before she joined the Order. He was an excellent, and very experienced auror, and Tonks knew that he wasn't going to stand for anything that had been happening in the office since the year before.

Like Tonks had foreseen, the paperwork she hadn't finished was still piled up on her desk. By the looks of it, no one was having any luck finding the Death Eaters to whom they were assigned. Everyone was bustling around the office, searching through papers frantically at their desks, and talking animatedly to each other from across their cubicles. Scrimgeour's appointment seemed to have caused the most chaos in the Auror Department. Like Tonks, no one seemed to have known that Fudge was really stepping down and that Scrimgeour was going to take his place.

Tonks settled herself into her cubicle as per usual, and began shuffling through some new papers that had found home on her desk. Nothing out of the ordinary—bewitched muggle objects, supposed to go to Arthur Weasley, unlicensed wizards selling anti-dark magic charms, supposed to go to Law Enforcement, and of course a list of sightings of various Death Eaters. It would never make sense to Tonks how Travers and Dolhov** could have been sighted in two different places at the exact same time, and she seriously doubted that either of them was shopping at a muggle farmer's market. Rubbish, like it always was. She wanted to go out and search for them, but she had no leads. She knew that all the Death Eaters were well hidden; only making moves when instructed, playing on people's fear. She looked up at one of the walls in her cubicle. Staring back at her was a photo of the completely deranged Bellatrix Lestrange with nine other Death Eaters around it. Every auror had one in their cubicle since the ministry decided to give the mass breakout the attention it deserved. _Do they think we're going to forget what they look like?_ Tonks asked herself as she stared into Bellatrix's malicious face. She felt a sudden pang of sadness, guilt, and anger. What she wouldn't give to go up against Bellatrix. She had killed Sirius, and hurt so many others. Tonks would love nothing more than to avenge all of those people.

Tonks spent the entire day as she always did, making phone calls to people with credible reports, filling out paperwork about who was still missing and what she had discovered, and thinking about where in the name of Merlin all of these Death Eaters could be hiding.

Tonks yawned, and blink her eyes a few times in an attempt to wake up herself. She'd been dozing on and off for the past thirty minutes. She was one of the last people in the office. Most people had taken to leaving early now. They were all anxious to get home to their families after very long unproductive days. Tonks didn't have anyone to whom she had to go home. She could write to her parents, and visit them, but it wasn't the same. She didn't even have Dottie anymore because she sent her to live with her parents.

After a few more minutes of trying to read the paperwork in front of her, Tonks gave up and decided to head home. As she was walking out of the office, she ran into Kingsley again. He was holding a box full of miscellaneous things, and another box was following him.

"Wotcher, Kingsley," Tonks said again. "Switching your office already?" She asked eyeing the boxes.

"Moving to my new assignment," he said half chuckling.

"New assignment?" Tonks asked surprised. "You're not the head of the department anymore?" He'd only been the head for a little over a day, how would he have gotten transferred already?

"No, I still am. The minister assigned me to the muggle Prime Minister. I start tomorrow. **is stepping in for me until I get back."

"Oh," Tonks said. "Do you know how long you'll be gone?" She was looking forward to having Kingsley in charge.

"As long as Scrimgeour wants me there. I'll be in constant contact with him even though I'll be living with the muggles."

"So," Tonks lowered her voice even though they weren't any people around, "I take it you won't be coming to dinner at the Weasleys' anytime soon?"

"No, I won't be able to make it for a while," Kingsley said, understanding what Tonks meant. "Well," he said. "I should get going. I have to read up on what I'm supposed to be doing for this minister. Apparently I come highly recommended. It won't go over well if I get fired on my first day," he laughed and smiled very warmly.

"Of course," Tonks said. "Well, good luck, and hopefully I'll see you soon."

"Thank you, Tonks. I hope so too." He nodded to her and began walking again. Before he turned the corner, he turned back around to face Tonks. "And Tonks," he said.

"Yes?"

"Don't mention my job to anyone. They're telling the department tomorrow, and a few other people in the ministry know. Obviously," he stopped for a moment, "the Weasleys know, but they're trying to keep it as quiet as possible in case there are any leaks within the ministry."

"Right, of course, I won't," Tonks promised.

Tonks made her way up the lane to The Burrow. Molly and Arthur had allowed their home to replace Grimmauld Place for the Order's meetings. They still didn't know if Grimmauld Place belonged to Harry, and they didn't want to take any chances, especially with Kreature still lurking.

Tonks moodily made her way t the front door, changed her appearance a few times to get inside, and made her way into the kitchen where the rest of the Order members were seated.

Tonks twirled a strand of her mousy brown hair; she still didn't have the energy to change it. Besides all that was going on at work, and in the wizarding world in general, something else was bothering Tonks—Remus. It wasn't just him; it was something that he said. At his flat, he told her it would never work. Tonks wanted to know why. They both fancied each other, that much was already admitted. They were both in the Order, both on the same side, living the same type of life; both had the same goals, the same losses. She didn't understand why they couldn't be together. It couldn't hurt to have someone with you during the times. She just couldn't understand, and as usual it was becoming quite bothersome. She was having a very hard time keeping focused, and she knew matters were only going to get worse when Remus came. She just couldn't get her mind off of him, and she knew it was because she didn't understand what was going on with their situation. She figured that perhaps things would be better if she could just understand is way of thinking, then she wouldn't have to spend so much time trying to figure it out.

Arthur and Mad-Eye ran the meeting, as was customary since Dumbledore wasn't able to attend very much. Arthur explained to everyone what Kingsley's new position was, and why he wouldn't be attending the meetings for a while. Mad-Eye spoke a little about various events occurring throughout the wizarding world, deaths, captures such as Olivander, the wand maker, and various attacks. Arthur talked more about the ministry, what Scrimgeour was planning, possible leaks. It was all very much the same, Tonks was getting restless. She wished she could find at least one Death Eater. That would make her feel like she was doing something.

Molly broke the norm by saying that Harry would be coming to stay at the Weasleys' in a few weeks time. Dumbledore had asked Molly if it was alright, but he had yet to say what the exact date of Harry's arrival would be. Tonks was excited for a minute; she hoped that there would be another guard. She was desperate to do something. However, her hopes were dashed when Molly said that Dumbledore would be bringing Harry personally.

Molly had tea waiting when the meeting was over. Tonks stayed for a while, but she wasn't feeling very talkative. She kept looking over at Remus who was talking quite animatedly to Mad-Eye and Bill. When she wasn't stealing glances in Remus' direction, Tonks was staring determinedly into her teacup. She kept thinking

_Why won't it work? I just don't understand. We both fancy each other; it just makes sense to be together, doesn't it? Wouldn't it be better to have each other now with so many horrible things happening? Shouldn't we take advantage of being alright for now?_

_Well, then, why don't you just ask him?_

_Ask him?_

_You want to know so badly, ask him._

_I've already bothered him too much._

_Bothered him? This situation concerns the both of you._

_I've asked him so many questions already._

_So what's one more? You know it'll drive you mad if you don't. _

Tonks kept thinking about it, but her thoughts weren't really getting her anywhere. She kept missing what people were saying, didn't hear them when they asked her questions. She noticed that Molly kept sneaking glances at her, looking quizzical.

One by one, the Order members began to head out down the lane, so they could apparate. Only Mad-Eye and Bill were left when Tonks decided it was time to head home herself. The same time that Tonks stood to leave, Remus stood as well. Tonks felt her face getting very warm. She didn't really want to be alone with Remus at the moment; she didn't know what to say, what to do.

They both bid their goodbyes and headed down the lane in silence. Tonks looked across at Remus every now and then, quickly turning away if she thought he was going to look. A few times she felt that she could feel his eyes on her as well, but when she looked up, they were facing forward. The lane seemed to go on forever, much longer than it had when Tonks had arrived that night.

Tonks and Remus reached the end of the lane. She moved a little toward the right and Remus toward the left, giving themselves plenty of room to apparate safely. At that moment, right as Remus turned his back towards her to leave, Tonks surprised herself. She didn't know she was going to say anything, she hadn't planned it. Then again things never really went as she planned. She didn't know what made her decide to say something. Maybe it was that the question kept surfacing in her mind? She just couldn't stop herself.

"Why wouldn't it work?" She asked quickly, looking toward Remus. Remus turned slowly to face her. He seemed unsure that she was speaking to him, but he looked directly into her pleading eyes.

"With us," Tonks said again, "why wouldn't it work?"

"Tonks, if you really think about it, you'll understand why. It'll be the worst thing for you," he smiled kindly. With that, he spun on the spot and was gone within seconds.

I know that this chapter was a little boring. I was going to put this chapter and the next chapter as one, but I thought it would be insanely long. I hope you did enjoy it though, please leave a review! :]


	24. Sudden Realization, Unexpected Action

Hello Everyone! I'm trying to update this as much as I can. School's very busy, I know a lot of people can relate. Anyway, this is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it.

**Chapter 24**

**Sudden Realization, Unexpected Action**

Tonks stared out her kitchen window, sipping hot chocolate. It had been a very long day at work, as was becoming routine. Tonks found that she was so tired she couldn't sleep. In addition, the worst possible thing Remus could have told Tonks was to "think about it." The more she thought about it, the more she couldn't understand him; the more she wondered. It didn't help that it was the full moon, the reason Tonks found herself staring out her window. Growing up, she had always loved the moon, especially when it was full. She thought it was beautiful and mysterious; a way of knowing there was something more out there. Now as she looked at it, she only felt sadness. It seemed so manipulative now. She thought about Remus, and wondered where he was. She was sure he was with the other werewolves. He'd been spending more time with them, desperately trying to sway them to join the Order's effort, or at least to stay away from Voldemort for a little while longer. Tonks knew that she should be heading to bed, she was expected to be in the office early the next morning for a meeting, but somehow she knew that she wasn't going to get any sleep. She was too worried about Remus. He was running around with werewolves, evil werewolves. He wasn't like them. Remus was kind, he kept his head during his transformations, and he was determined to never hurt anyone. These other werewolves, they hated pure humans, they wanted to hurt, to kill. She couldn't stand the thought of Remus being with them, or trying to convince them to change their minds. What would happen if one of them got angry with him? Fenrir Greyback was the most horrible of all of them. He was the one that attacked Remus was he was a child. What if got tired of Remus trying to persuade him? What if he attacked? Would Remus be able to fight him? Would he make it? Tonks couldn't stand thinking about it. It made her sick to her stomach. Tonks closed her eyes, and took a breath, trying desperately to fall asleep, even if it was in her kitchen chair. However, sleep didn't come.

That morning had gone as horribly as Tonks had thought it would. No one in the office was getting anywhere, except for Kingsley, who had managed to keep the muggle Prime Minister safe, and had identified someone on his staff who had been confunded.

As she was leaving that afternoon, she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore, she ran into Arthur on the lift.

"Afternoon, Tonks," he said cheerily, looking through a stack of papers in his hands.

"Wotcher, Arthur," Tonks replied sleepily. "Busy lately?"

"More than ever. Anyone who used to mess with muggles is just doing it tenfold now because he thinks he can blame it on the Death Eaters, and of course the Death Eaters are happy to take the blame and act on their own as well. But I'm sure you'll know all about being busy."

Tonks nodded. "We're scrambling around up there; no one's really getting anywhere. It's all going downhill," she yawned.

"Didn't get much sleep last night?"

"I would have settled for not much," Tonks joked. "That's why I'm sneaking out early. I just can't keep my eyes open anymore."

"I'll be heading out early too. Trying to leave after I deliver all these," he held up the stack of papers."

"Good luck," Tonks said. By the size of the stack, Arthur wouldn't be leaving the Ministry for a week.

"Yeah, Molly's having dinner for a few friends tonight," he said looking up at Tonks.

"Oh, any special occasion?" She asked, knowing perfectly well why Arthur had mentioned dinner.

"Well, our son's going to be there, with his girlfriend," Tonks remembered Bill's talking about Fleur. "And our other sons Fred and George are coming too. Molly tries to get them home for dinner as often as possible. So, it's just them a few friends, no occasion really."

"Well, that's nice," Tonks said as the lift opened, and an elderly witch stepped inside. "What time's dinner? Will you make it home with all that work?"

"Oh, I should be fine," he said cheerily. "Dinner's at seven-thirty, so I should have plenty of time." The lift opened again on the fifth floor. "Well, I'm off," he said as he stepped off the lift and nodded to Tonks.

That night Tonks made her way down the lane to The Burrow, did her usual act of changing her appearance several times, and made her way into the kitchen where the rest of the Order, except Remus, was seated around the kitchen table.

Immediately, Tonks noticed the young girl sitting next to Bill at the end of the table. She was talking animatedly to Hestia, speaking with a heavy French accent. Tonks recognized Fleur from her pictures in the_ Prophet_ from the Triwizard tournament, but she was even more beautiful in person. Actually beautiful was an understatement. Fleur was absolutely gorgeous; she had beautiful, pale skin, bright blue eyes, and stunning silvery blonde hair. She had to be part veela.

Tonks looked over at Mrs. Weasley, who was hunched over the stove. She was working frantically. Tonks glanced at Bill, who was talking to Arthur, while Fleur began stroking his hand with her dainty finger. Bill looked so happy as he turned to face her. Molly, on the other hand, looked furious as she came over to the table, plates in hand.

A few minutes later, after Molly had brought all of the food over, Arthur stood.

"So," he began. "I know everyone's waiting for what the meeting's about, but we really don't' have any new developments. We're here tonight to welcome a new member," he took a seat. Bill stood quickly and cleared his throat.

"Well," he began. "Most of you know that I have been dating Fleur for quite a while," he gestured toward Fleur, who smiled widely, her perfectly white teeth almost twinkling in the light. "I've been talking to her about the Order recently, about our mission, what we do, and she wants to join our efforts. So, tonight we're welcoming her as our new member."

Mad-Eye said, and Fleur repeated, the same oath that Tonks had taken when she officially joined the Order. She remembered that day like it was yesterday. She hadn't known most of these people then. She didn't know Remus, she didn't know Sirius. She had no idea how much her life would change in the course of the year.

"Well," Bill began again, pulling Tonks from her memories. "We have another reason for inviting you all here tonight," Tonks glanced at Fred and George, who were looking mischievously at their brother. Arthur was smiling, and Molly still looked rigid and angry. Bill took Fleur's hand in his, as she beamed up at him. "We've already told mum and dad, but you're all our family too, and we wanted to invite you to celebrate with us. He was silent for a moment. "Fleur and I are engaged." He smiled from ear to ear. Fleur lifted her left hand, and sure enough there was a glittering diamond ring sitting comfortably on her dainty finger. There were claps, happy gasps, and "Congratulations" being said to the future bride and groom. The men all jumped up to shake hands with Bill, and the women, except Molly and, Tonks noticed, Ginny, hugged Fleur and told her what a beautiful bride she would make.

"Congratulations," Tonks said kindly to Fleur. "Zank you veree much," Fleur replied. Tonks then made her way over to Bill. "Congratulations, Bill!" Tonks said, giving him a hug. "I'm so happy for the both of you. You'll make a lovely bride and groom."

"Thank you, Tonks," Bill said, still grinning from ear to ear.

As Tonks was headed back to her seat, she began to feel a creeping sadness. She was happy for Bill and Fleur, she really was, or at least she was trying to be. There they were Bill and Fleur, happy and in love. They were getting married. And there she was, sitting alone, not understanding why the man she cared so much about, refused to let them be together. It really was selfish of her to be thinking of her own problems when Bill and Fleur were trying to celebrate, but no one knew she was being selfish, so no one was hurt by it.

Dinner had lasted for quite a while that night, quite to Tonks', and Molly's, dismay. Around eleven the last of the Order had left. Fred and George decided, from their mother's urging, that they would stay the night. Fleur, Tonks discovered was staying with the Weasleys' over the summer to get to know her future in-laws. She would be staying in Ginny's room. Bill and Fleur offered to help clean the kitchen, but Molly shooed them away, so they headed up to bed, they both had to work the next day. Arthur had gone up to bed too; he would have to be at the ministry in a few hours.

"Molly," Tonks said, "Are you sure you don't need any help?" Tonks knew she should be trying to sleep, but she detested the idea of going home to her empty flat. She had been thinking enough that night, she didn't want to think anymore.

"No, Tonks, it's alright. I'm almost finished," said Molly scrubbing pots and pans in the sink. Tonks stared around the room glumly. She didn't want to overstay her welcome, but she didn't want to leave either. "Would you like a cup of tea, Tonks?" Molly asked, having seen the sadness in Tonks's face.

"Er…sure, Molly, that would be great."

A few minutes later, after the kitchen was cleared, and the tea was poured, Tonks was sitting at the kitchen table with Molly, who although still looking a little irritated, seemed to have calmed a bit. Tonks sipped her tea in silence. She wasn't sure what to say, but she had the sinking suspicion that Molly was going to start asking questions. Tonks had never been in the Weasleys' house when it was so empty. It was a little past midnight, and everyone in the house, except for Molly and Tonks, were snuggly sleeping in their beds.

"So, Tonks," Molly said, breaking the silence. "How are things at the ministry? I know Arthur's department is mad. I can only imagine how horrible the Auror Department must be right now."

"Yeah, it's quite chaotic," Tonks answered. "No one really knows what to do. It's hard to distinguish rubbish leads from real ones, and there's so much unnecessary paperwork to fill out. I still have about three stacks to finish." Tonks took a sip of her tea, and there was an awkward silence. Molly was surveying Tonks.

"Is that what's bothering you, dear?" Molly asked.

"What?" Tonks asked, feeling quite like she was under a microscope.

"Well, it's just that you haven't been yourself lately, and I just thought that maybe work had something to do with it."

"Well, er…" Tonks stuttered. It wasn't work that was bothering her, and the way Molly asked made Tonks think that Molly knew that too. However, Tonks wasn't going to start a discussion about all that nonsense. She would just keep her answers simple.

"Yeah, I er…suppose that could have something to do with it."

Molly stood to pour herself some more tea from the kettle on the stove. As the sugar was adding itself to the cup, Molly turned to face Tonks.

"Does it have something to do with Remus?" She asked. Tonks choked on her tea.

"How did you know?" Tonks said after recovering. She decided that there was no hiding it from Molly.

"Mother's intuition," she answered, smiling warmly and retaking her seat next to Tonks. "I've had my suspicions for a while, and of course I did see you two at Grimmauld Place." Tonks knew that if she had dared to take another sip of tea, she would have choked again. She felt her face getting very warm.

"Oh," Tonks said, trying to muster a laugh.

"Accidental," Molly answered, smiling even more broadly than before. "I wanted to see if you wanted tea." There was silence again; Tonks wasn't quite sure what to say next.

"You, er… you said you've had suspicions for a while."

"Well," Molly said, seeming to think about her answer, "I would call them more than suspicions, more like facts without recognition."

"Oh."

"I hadn't really noticed much, especially on Remus' end, he's rather hard to read, but of course I saw the both of you at dinner." Tonks didn't even have to think about which of the many dinners the Order had spent together Molly was talking. Molly was referring to the one where Tonks and Remus had bumped hands, which resulted in food and drink flying and spilling everywhere. Tonks felt her cheeks burning again. They had not even had time to fully recover from a few minutes before. "After that," Molly continued, "I was positive about you, and quite certain about Remus as well." Tonks was intrigued. She had seen something in Remus too?

"How?" Tonks felt rather childish asking.

"Well, no offense, dear, I do know that you are rather clumsy, but I could just see it in your face when you glanced at him. I also saw his face, which looked utterly terrified, and it couldn't just be because of the wine spilt on him**. No, I knew then." Tonks was silent again. How was she supposed to respond?"

"You must have a gift with that Molly," she finally decided to say.

"No, but I've raised six sons, and you begin to recognize the signs after a while," Molly answered. Tonks smiled weakly in return.

"I was certain when you were in St. Mungo's," Molly said reminiscently. Remus was wreck at first, I could tell. He stayed with you the whole time you know."

"Yeah, I know," answered Tonks. "He wanted to tell me about Sirius, and the kids."

"Oh, I'm sure it was far more than that, dear," Molly answered matter-of-factly.

"Why do you think I haven't been trying to set you up with Bill?"

Tonks laughed, "Don't care much for Fleur?"

"Oh, no," Mrs. Weasley said unconvincingly. "She's lovely; I just think their rushing into things. They've only known each other for a few months. It's just like last time, people making rash decisions every which way, afraid they wouldn't have time to wait; people rushing off right from school to get married and start families."

"You and Arthur skipped on that then?"

"Oh, no," Mrs. Weasley answered. "We got married right after we finished school, but that was different. We knew we were made for each other." Tonks knew that Molly was waiting for Tonks to challenge her, as Tonks was sure Bill had, but Tonks didn't say a word. Molly wasn't fond of Fleur, and obviously didn't think she and Bill were a good match. She just wanted her son to take his time; she didn't want him to get hurt.

"So, is something wrong with the two of you then?" Molly asked.

"With whom?" Tonks asked, forgetting where they were in the conversation.

"You and Remus."

"How do you know that something's wrong with the two of us?" Tonks asked, quite amazed at how perceptive Molly was.

"Well, at the first meeting after all of that with the ministry, I saw you two in the sitting room. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I didn't want to intrude, but once Remus left right after, I knew something wasn't right. Then the time after that, when you both stayed in sitting room when everyone came in for tea. I did my best to make sure that no one noticed your absence. You just looked terribly distressed for the rest of the night, the both of you. I knew something had to be wrong."

Tonks hung her head for a moment. She didn't know how to say anything to Molly without sounding childish. She didn't want to pout over this, but it really was upsetting her, even more than she was letting on to herself.

"Tonks," Molly said gently, "I know I'm not your mother, but I do think of you very similar to a daughter, you are Charlie's age after all, and we've spent so much time getting to know you from the Order, if there's anything you ever want to talk about, please know that I'm here. And I have years of experience with my own children, I'm sure I'll have something of value to say," she added.

Tonks laughed, her head still staring at the kitchen table, her hands resting on the back of her neck in exasperation. "I told him."

"Told him?" Molly asked.

"I told Remus how I felt," Tonks said, feeling slightly terrified and relieved that she had finally said it out loud.

"Good for you, Tonks," Molly said encouragingly. "Nothing will ever get anywhere if no one says anything."

"It's not going anywhere," Tonks replied sadly. Molly looked slightly confused. "He says it won't work…we won't work."

"I'm sorry dear," Molly said genuinely. "Did he say why?"

"No. He just told me that if I really thought about it, I would realize that it would be the worst thing for me."

"Well," Molly said, standing up to get some cookies out of the pantry, and to clean one lonely pot still sitting in the sink, "I wouldn't worry about it, Tonks." Tonks just looked up at Molly; she wasn't sure what Molly meant. "Remus has been through a lot, especially in the last few years," Molly said. "You just can't give up."

"I don't know," Tonks said solemnly. "I've tried to speak to him a few times, but he doesn't want to talk about it. It's driving me mad."

"Just give him some time," Molly answered. "He'll come around."

"It's just so frustrating," Tonks answered, finally feeling the anger that had been hiding behind the sadness.

"I know, Tonks. Men are always very frustrating."

"It hasn't been a walk in the park for me either. I've never said anything like that to anyone before. I mean we both have been in the Order, we both lost Sirius, we both spent so much time together, and now it's just like it's not important to him. I've tried to talk, to figure out what's going on, but he won't have it. I've been putting in so much effort, and trying to force myself not to worry about it. It's really putting me behind in my work. It's just rather infuriating. I mean I've been trying, I really have, and he wants no part, he just keeps disappearing like it's nothing. I can't do that, I mean I lo…" Tonks was on a rampage, and didn't even think about what she was saying. The words just came, but as soon as they did, Tonks knew they were true. It was like something she had been waiting to say, something that she had been hiding from herself, too afraid to really know.

"You what dear," Molly asked, but Tonks knew that Molly already knew what she was going to say.

"I love him," Tonks said, defeated, putting her hands in her face, and resting her elbows on the table. "I do, I love him."

"I thought so," Molly said sweetly. Tonks just looked up at her, how was it that she knew so much. "Mother's intuition again, dear. I can tell the way that you talk about him, the way you worry about him, the way you look at him," Molly said. "And I certainly don't think that it's too farfetched to say he feels the same about you."

"I just don't know. Why wouldn't he tell me? Why doesn't he want to talk about it? Why isn't it driving him this mad?" Tonks asked, almost desperately.

"Well, Tonks," Molly said, sitting back down with a small tray of cookies, "I'm sure it's bothering him just as much as it is you, but he just doesn't want to face it. He thinks that by avoiding it, it'll just go away. Men tend to think that way. But, you have to remember how much Remus has been through, how much rejection and isolation. He's probably just afraid of it. You just can't give up, Tonks. Keep fighting for him. I'm sure that if you do, if you really convince him, he'll let his guard down."

"Do you really think so?" Tonks asked, feeling like a child, begging her mother for approval.

"I do," Molly answered. "I've seen the way he looks at you, Tonks. And I really do think so."

After a few minutes of eating the cookies, and finishing their tea, Tonks decided it was time to head home, and to try and get some sleep before work the next day.

"Here Tonks," Molly said, bringing out a small basket of food. "Take this to Remus for me tonight," she instructed. "He's probably just gotten through the transformation, so he's probably very weak, and I'm sure he hasn't eaten decently since the last time he was here." Tonks took the basket hesitantly. "Go on, dear," Molly said, leading Tonks to the kitchen door. "Take it to him for me. It'll give you a chance to talk like you deserve to," Molly said. Tonks smiled at Molly in return, she really was excellent at giving advice.

"Thanks, Molly," Tonks said, "for everything."

Tonks found herself standing outside of Remus' flat with the basket of food from Molly. It had started drizzling right after Tonks left Molly's. She didn't apparate far from Remus' building, but she still managed to have rain sprinkled across her face. She was just waiting outside of the door. She was terrified to go any further. She knew Remus had just gotten over his transformation. Was it really right for her to bother him at the moment? Would he even let her in? She mentally told herself to stop. She needed to stop making excuses for him, and for herself.

She knocked quickly on the door. She heard slight movement, but no voice came from the other side. She knocked again, hoping that Remus would realize she wasn't leaving.

"Who is it?" Called a faint voice from the other side.

"It's Tonks," Tonks tried to answer calmly. "Molly, er…Molly sent me over with some food. She thought you needed a good meal. You'd better eat it rather quickly. I expect they'll be an owl or a patronus arriving soon to see if you've eaten it. You know how Molly is." Tonks heard the door creaking open, and saw Remus' worn face through the opening.

"Come in," he said. Tonks walked through the door cautiously, just as she had done the last time. "Is it raining?" Remus asked, noticing the rain drops on her face and clothes.

"It's just drizzling a bit," Tonks said, sitting the basket on the kitchen table. Tonks absentmindedly walked away from the table and toward the living room. Remus made his way over to the basket, and started to look through its abundant contents.

"I'm not sure what's in it," Tonks said. "I was at Molly and Arthur's for the Order meeting, and Molly and I were having tea, and she just asked if I'd drop it by on my way home." Tonks knew it was a lie, but it didn't matter. Remus didn't need the truth at the moment.

"Would you like anything?" Remus asked, placing some food on the small kitchen table. Tonks studied his face as he looked toward her, waiting for her answer. He look very tired, his face was more lined, his very graying even more. His robes seemed even shabbier than before.

"Oh no thank you," Tonks said, turning away. "I already ate at the meeting."

After a few moments of silence, Remus spoke. "So," Remus asked, "did I er…miss anything at the meeting?"

"No new business," Tonks answered. "But, Bill and Fleur are engaged, and Fleur got inducted into the Order."

"That's wonderful," Remus said very unenthusiastically. "I'll have to give them my congratulations next time I see them.

"Yes, it was rather lovely," Tonks said unconvincingly. "They look very happy together."

"I'm sure they will be."

Silence followed. Tonks knew that she wanted to say something, but she just wasn't sure what. She wasn't sure how she should bring it all up again. Remus looked rather fidgety, almost like he had somewhere to go.

After another minute of Tonks's staring around Remus' flat and Remus' pretending to study all of the food choices, Remus finally spoke, "Tonks, I ha…"

But Tonks cut him off. She didn't know what he was going to say, but she didn't want to find out. She had to say it, or she never would, and she couldn't deal with that anymore.

"Remus, why won't it work?" She demanded. Remus looked rather taken aback.

"Tonks, I told you," he said calmly, looking away from her, "if you really think about it, you'll see."

"I have." Tonks said simply. "I have thought about it, and I just don't understand. We both fancy each other, we've been through so much together, and I just don't get it."

"Tonks, it's just…there are just other factors…so many other things…it just… it would just never work…it…no, it would…it would just…"

"But I love you," Tonks blurted out the words. Although terrified, Tonks felt quite liberated. She felt a huge weight lift off of her chest, perhaps she had been waiting to tell him for a long time. Remus looked up at her again. He looked shocked, and almost slightly frightened at the same time.

"I do, I love you," Tonks said, making her words more concrete. Remus didn't answer. He just continued to stare at Tonks, with the same expression. It was almost as if he was looking at her for the first time. Silence followed again. Tonks had nothing else to say, nothing else she _could_ say.

"Tonks," Remus broke the silence slowly, "I er…I have to go." Tonks was stunned, and hurt. She couldn't believe he was doing this, now of all times. "I…I told Dumbledore I was on my way…have to tell him what's going on…was just about to leave when you came…can't keep him waiting any longer." Remus fumbled around with his traveling cloak. He made his way over to the front door, and held it open for Tonks. She wordlessly walked through it. She just stared at Remus as he locked the door, and faced her.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Tonks," he said. "I just…can't." With that, he apparated.

Tonks just stood there stunned for a few moments. She couldn't believe that she had just said that, told Remus that she loved and him, and that he had just gone. What was wrong with him? Tonks had never told anyone that before, but she presumed it was improper etiquette to leave right after someone told you she loved you.

Tonks found herself sitting in her kitchen sipping hot cocoa, once again. She was startled when a grey mist, a patronus, showed up.

"Tonks," it said. "I'm sorry I left so quickly…I wanted to make sure you made it home safely." It was Remus. Even though he left he really did care about Tonks, and whether she was alright. She resisted her urge to smile.

Tonks waited for almost an hour before she returned a patronus saying that she was fine, in fact all it said was "I'm home." If he really did care, and was worried about her, Tonks wanted Remus to suffer for a little bit, waiting for a reply.

Tonks knew she wouldn't sleep again, but she wasn't sure what it was now. Was it that Remus had sent the patronus to check on her? Or was it because he only apologized for leaving so quickly?


End file.
